Guarded Passions

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Guarded Passions Page 22

by Rosie Harris


  ‘We usually go to those sort of functions. Hugh has to pay whether he attends or not, so we might just as well go along and enjoy ourselves.’

  ‘But hasn’t Hugh said if you’re going?’ Helen persisted.

  ‘No, he hasn’t, but that’s not surprising since he’s away, now is it?’ Ruth snapped. ‘I don’t even know if he will be back from the exercise in time for it.’

  She was as surprised as her mother that Hugh hadn’t mentioned the ball, but she had no intention of going into it then. She wanted to face Hugh first and find out why he hadn’t told her about it or checked with her if she wanted to go.

  There were niggling doubts at the back of her mind. Having been away in Hong Kong for over two years, she hadn’t any very close friends amongst her neighbours, so if Lucy hadn’t mentioned the Troop Ball she might never have known about it until it was over. Was Hugh taking a chance on that … planning to take someone else?

  The moment the thought came into her mind she felt angry. Hugh had never cheated on her in the whole of the time they’d been married so why should he start now?

  ‘Does Sheila know that Gary has invited you, Lucy?’ she asked, in what she hoped was a casual voice.

  ‘I don’t know,’ Lucy’s blue eyes widened innocently. ‘He never even mentioned if Sheila was going.’

  Tight-lipped, Ruth began stacking the dirty dishes as she tried to quell the suspicions racing inside her head. As she began to pile them on a tray to take them through to the kitchen, she found her mother watching her through narrowed eyes and knew from her expression that she, too, was thinking along exactly the same lines.

  Chapter 27

  Helen woke in a cold sweat, the horrifying dream still vivid in her mind. She struggled to sit up in bed and groped for the light-switch on the bedside lamp. She stared around the unfamiliar room wondering where she was and trying to collect her thoughts. Feeling exhausted, she lay back against the pillows, trying to control the rapid thumping of her heart by breathing slowly and deeply. Gradually her limbs stopped trembling, but she felt completely drained.

  The mattress on the narrow bed was harder than she was used to, so probably that was what had caused her bad dream. Ruth had separated the bunk beds for her and Lucy to sleep more comfortably. Sally and Anna were using sleeping-bags in the tiny front boxroom. Helen pushed back the duvet and swung her legs over the side of the bed, groping for her slippers and dressing-gown.

  As quietly as possible she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. She realised she would never get back to sleep so she decided to make herself a hot drink. Everyone should be home very soon, she thought, glancing at the clock. Breakfast at a Troop Ball was usually served around four in the morning and it was now almost half-past five.

  The front door opened and Ruth and Hugh walked into the kitchen just as the kettle boiled.

  ‘Oh dear, couldn’t you sleep?’ Ruth sympathised. She kicked off her high-heeled sandals and wriggled her toes with a sigh of relief.

  ‘I had a bad dream. It must be coming back here. It’s the first time I’ve slept at Pirbright since … since your father was killed.’

  ‘Oh, Mum!’ Ruth’s grey eyes glistened with tears as she went across to her mother and hugged her. ‘I never thought of that …’

  ‘Why on earth should you? It happened eighteen years ago,’ Helen said quickly. ‘Forget I said it, I’m all right. Let’s have that coffee.’

  Ruth spooned instant coffee into three mugs and filled them with water. She reached for the biscuit-barrel and held it out to her mother.

  ‘No thanks. I’ll wait till breakfast-time. I don’t suppose you two will want a second breakfast?’

  ‘Well, I certainly won’t!’ Hugh laughed. ‘Two eggs, bacon, fried bread, kidney and two sausages. I think that should keep me going until lunch-time!’

  ‘I take it you both enjoyed yourselves?’

  ‘Very much. One of the best balls I’ve been to,’ Ruth said enthusiastically. She bent down and rubbed her ankles. ‘My feet are killing me though. I think we must have danced every dance.’

  ‘Where’s Lucy? Hasn’t she come back with you?’ Helen looked enquiringly at Hugh and Ruth.

  ‘Sit down Mum. We’ve got something to tell you,’ Ruth said. ‘I’ll make another drink.’ She turned away and began to fill the kettle, while Hugh pulled out one of the kitchen chairs and sat down.

  ‘I don’t want any more coffee. Just tell me what’s happened. Has there been an accident … is she hurt?’ Helen asked anxiously, the memory of the violent dream that had woken her still vivid in her mind.

  ‘No, no. Nothing like that,’ Hugh said quickly. ‘Just a spot of explaining to do, and Lucy thought it might be better coming from us.’

  ‘Well, go on. I’m listening,’ Helen said impatiently. She sensed from their attitude that whatever it was they had to say to her, was something she wasn’t going to like.

  Ruth and Hugh exchanged glances, each waiting for the other to speak. ‘Lucy wants to get married,’ Ruth blurted out. ‘She asked us to tell you.’

  Helen’s face went deathly white. Even the thin, tight line of her lips was bloodless as she looked from one to the other, fear in her grey eyes. ‘Oh no! She’s not … she’s …’

  ‘No, she’s not pregnant.’ Ruth laughed gently, patting her mother’s hand.

  ‘That wasn’t what I was trying to say,’ Helen said slowly. ‘She’s not … not involved with Gary is she?’

  Ruth blanched, but she shook her head. ‘No, Mum, of course she isn’t.’

  ‘Gary?’ Hugh looked puzzled, but Ruth silently signalled to him not to say anything more.

  ‘Who does she want to marry then?’ Helen asked, as the colour slowly came back into her cheeks.

  ‘It’s worse than her wanting to marry Gary,’ Hugh said angrily. ‘She wants to marry Russell Campbell … he’s one of our officers!’

  Helen stared at them blankly.

  ‘You do understand what that means?’ Hugh said sharply, his dark brown eyes blazing.

  ‘Of course Mum understands, Hugh. Don’t forget my Dad was in the Guards, and discipline and protocol were much more strict then than they are now,’ Ruth exclaimed sharply.

  ‘I’ve tried to explain to Lucy what it means, not just to her, but to the rest of us as well, if she marries him,’ Hugh went on, ignoring Ruth’s outburst. ‘She seems to think it won’t make any difference. She’s wrong, of course! For a start, she won’t be able to socialise with Ruth. I won’t be able to have anything to do with her either – nor for that matter will Gary. You can’t keep something like that a secret when you’re living and working with the same people all the time. It won’t be easy for Lieutenant Campbell, but he’s an arrogant bastard anyway, so he can probably handle it.’

  ‘How did she come to meet him? Did you introduce them, Hugh?’ Helen asked in a bewildered voice.

  ‘Me! Good heavens no. I hardly ever speak to the man.’

  ‘Then who did?’

  Ruth shook her head. ‘I’ve seen him around camp but I didn’t even know his name until tonight.’ She looked at Hugh. ‘How did Lucy come to meet him?’

  ‘Through Gary I suppose. He was dancing with Lucy early on in the evening and I saw Campbell go across and speak to them. Then a bit later on I noticed that Lucy was dancing with Campbell.’

  ‘I might have known Gary would be involved,’ Helen said bitterly.

  ‘He didn’t have much option if Campbell came over and spoke to them … and asked to be introduced to Lucy,’ Ruth protested lamely.

  ‘Are you telling me that Lucy met this Russell Campbell for the very first time just a few hours ago and now she wants to marry him!’ Helen exclaimed incredulously. ‘She must be out of her mind! And, for that matter, so must you to come and ask me such a question. You might know what my answer would be.’

  Hugh and Ruth exchanged uneasy glances. ‘Lucy is quite serious, Mum,’ Ruth told her. ‘And so is Lieutenant Campbell.’


  ‘It’s absolute nonsense,’ Helen snapped. ‘Lucy probably thinks she’ll cause a sensation by aping what you did at her age. Well, I refuse to agree … not this time!’ she added angrily, half to herself.

  ‘It worked well enough for us,’ Ruth said quietly. ‘And for you,’ she added, as her mother glared at her.

  ‘I only thought it did,’ Helen reminded her acidly.

  ‘Look, we can’t just sit here arguing about it,’ Hugh said uncomfortably. ‘Lucy’s outside.’

  ‘For goodness’ sake … bring her in. I’ll soon make her see sense,’ Helen vowed.

  ‘Russell Campbell is with her.’

  Helen looked at Hugh stonily, refusing to let him see how distressed she felt. ‘Well, I’ve got to meet him sometime. I suppose now is as good a time as any other.’

  ‘Mum … you will be careful what you say to him? He is one of Hugh’s officers remember,’ Ruth pleaded.

  ‘Ruth, I’m not a complete fool,’ Helen said tartly.

  ‘I know that Mum, I only meant …’

  ‘I know!’ Helen stood up and put an arm around Ruth’s shoulder. ‘I was an Army wife for too long not to know what the consequences of all this can be.’

  ‘Shall I call them?’ Hugh asked, moving towards the door. He wanted desperately to get the matter settled. As far as he could see, he was on the losing side whatever happened. Like Helen, he thought Lucy was being impetuous. Ruth might have been only eighteen when they married but she had been far more grown-up than Lucy was. He was fond of his little sister-in-law but he still thought of her as a child, and a very spoilt one at that. Helen was a good mother but, in his opinion, she was far too lenient with Lucy, and Mark had no authority whatsoever over her.

  ‘Just a minute. It might be better if Mum got dressed first,’ Ruth suggested as Hugh made for the door.

  Helen looked down at the warm red dressing-gown she’d wrapped round her and then back at Ruth.

  ‘Go on, Mum. First impressions count,’ Ruth urged.

  As she stood in front of the mirror, combing her greying hair, Helen tried to compose her thoughts. In her heart she knew the odds were against her if Lucy had set her mind on marrying Russell Campbell. Ruth had married Hugh, she reminded herself, in spite of all her threats and Lucy was far more spoilt and self-assured than Ruth had ever been.

  What’s wrong with my girls? she wondered. Why did they have to throw their lives away like this? Marriage was all very well, but why didn’t they enjoy their independence first, not tie themselves down to a husband and a family?

  Ruth was just thirty-one, yet sometimes she seemed quite middle-aged. She was a good wife and mother, but what had she got to look forward to? She had no career, and very few friends or interests outside her immediate family. Helen felt it was all wrong.

  It reminded her of her own life, and she thought how different that could have been if she hadn’t rushed into marriage so young. Her parents had probably been right and she should have gone to university. The way things had worked out, she would have completed her time there before Adam came home. But things had been rather different for her … she had been pregnant. Ruth didn’t have that kind of pressure, nor, it seemed, did Lucy.

  Looking into the mirror she was aware of how the passing years had left their mark. She was grey-haired, her face was lined, and she was putting on weight. She picked up a lipstick to try and give her face a little more colour before she went downstairs.

  Russell Campbell was bold, handsome and arrogant. He was well over six foot tall, slim, with broad shoulders, and he seemed to fill the room with his presence. Helen felt his green eyes sweeping over her critically, as he took her outstretched hand in his strong grasp. Helen was glad she had taken Ruth’s advice; she would have felt even more at a disadvantage in her dressing-gown.

  ‘Nice of you to see me without warning, Mrs Woodley.’ He greeted her in a deep, cultured voice. He smiled, showing his strong white teeth. ‘Ruth’s told you that Lucy and I are going to be married … as soon as possible.’

  Helen returned his stare, conscious that his astute green eyes were watching her closely.

  She felt irritated by the way Lucy was clinging to his arm, gazing up into his strong-boned face so adoringly. Was it sexual attraction, or was Lucy flattered by his attention because he was an officer? she wondered. Lucy couldn’t be in love with him, not on such a brief aquaintance, she thought stubbornly. Why marriage anyway? It seemed crazy for a man of his type to want to rush headlong into something so serious and binding.

  ‘Lucy is eighteen, legally old enough to decide such issues for herself, so she doesn’t need my permission, does she?’ Helen said coolly.

  Russell Campbell’s sandy eyebrows raised enquiringly and his mouth twitched in a slight smile. ‘Does that mean you would withhold it if we did, Mrs Woodley?’

  ‘I would prefer Lucy to think it over and be sure that she knew exactly what she was doing.’

  ‘Mum, of course I know what I’m doing!’ Lucy’s blue eyes glistened, her lips pouted. ‘Stop treating me like a child.’

  Russell Campbell patted Lucy’s hand reassuringly, but his gaze remained fixed challengingly on Helen.

  ‘Right, Mrs Woodley. Then I take it that we can go ahead with our plans?’ he said crisply.

  ‘White wedding … Guards’ Chapel … Guard of Honour …’ Lucy breathed excitedly, her face radiant, her blue eyes suddenly sparkling.

  ‘All the trimmings,’ he assured her. ‘And for our honeymoon … Venice … Paris … wherever you wish.’

  Helen’s legs suddenly felt weak and she groped for a chair and sat down. It was like the re-run of a film she’d seen before. How could this be happening? It was madness! They didn’t know the first thing about each other.

  She looked helplessly at Ruth and Hugh but, like her, they seemed to have been swept along by Russell Campbell’s decisive manner and supreme confidence. He’ll go far, Helen thought grudgingly. But was he the right man for Lucy? Once the glamour of the situation paled, would Lucy yield to his dominance? Helen didn’t think so; it wasn’t in Lucy’s nature to do so. If only she could persuade her to wait.

  As she looked at their eager faces, she could hear her own voice, begging her parents to let her marry Adam. And she remembered Ruth, on the day she’d returned from Brecon, making threats about what she would do if she wasn’t allowed to marry Hugh. I must be getting old; I’m not even going to put up a fight this time, she thought resignedly.

  As she looked again at the tall, haughty young officer, so resplendent in his Mess dress, she knew it would be useless. He looked so devastatingly handsome that Lucy was bound to think herself in love with him. She could only pray that it would turn out all right and that the inevitable rift between Ruth and Lucy wouldn’t cause too much heartbreak. Even if they managed to meet in private with the barriers down, the gulf between officer and men had to be observed when they were on duty.

  Helen felt the only good that would come from it was the barrier it would create between Gary and Lucy. For a long time now she had worried about the closeness between them and wondered whether the time had come to break her silence. Now she felt relieved that it wasn’t going to be necessary.

  The burden of Adam’s unfaithfulness was heavy for her to bear, but it was her cross. She didn’t want to blight Lucy’s life with such knowledge. She wished she had never told Ruth. She had never dreamed it would make her regard Hugh with suspicion. She must talk to Ruth and try and convince her that she had nothing to worry about where Hugh was concerned; of that she was certain.

  Ruth and Hugh’s ways were not hers, but she was confident that their relationship was sound. Ruth mustn’t let doubts ruin it. She had always boasted that if anything troubled either of them, they always brought it out in the open and talked it over. Perhaps it would be best if Ruth did tell Hugh about Gary; perhaps she had been wrong in making her promise not to speak to him about it.

  Sometimes, when she lay awake at night, ponder
ing over Adam’s behaviour, Helen wished he could return and tell her exactly what had happened. They had been so very much in love with each other and their marriage had seemed to be so secure, that deep in her heart she still found it hard to believe that he had let her down. Perhaps it had just been an isolated incident.

  She knew that if only she could convince herself of that, then, knowing the strain he had been under at that time, she would have been able to understand and forgive him.

  Chapter 28

  Lucy’s wedding had a fairy-tale quality; the sort of wedding most girls only dream about. Helen wasn’t sure whether it was the magnificent setting of the Guards’ Chapel, or the knowledge that Wellington Barracks was only just across the road from Buckingham Palace, that gave added splendour to the occasion.

  The sheer grandeur, though awe-inspiring, had a calming effect. As they waited for Lucy to arrive, Helen remembered that the last time she’d been there had been for Ruth’s wedding to Hugh. That had been memorable, but this time it was all on a much grander scale; everything was so much more opulent. Even the flowers were in greater profusion, and there were three times as many people.

  It was Russell’s friends and family that filled almost one half of the huge chapel, she reflected a little ruefully, while their own occupied a mere three pews and most of those were Lucy’s friends.

  As she studied the women’s expensive furs and stylish clothes, their smart hats and glittering jewellery, she truly felt a country cousin by comparison.

  She was irked to see that Gary had been invited. She still held him responsible for Lucy rushing into marriage. If Gary hadn’t introduced her to Russell Campbell, then she would probably have gone on to finish her training as a hairdresser.

  Like Hugh, Gary was not in uniform because they differed in rank to Russell. Grudgingly, Helen had to admit that Gary looked extremely handsome in his well-tailored grey suit, and his likeness to Adam brought a lump to her throat.

  Her curiosity was aroused by the stout, elderly woman, with a very colourful floral hat, seated next to Gary. From the way she kept asking him questions in a sibilant whisper, Helen assumed it must be one of his relations.

 

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