«Sibylle—»
At the sound of Drakkar's voice she turns around to look at him. How tall he is, how powerful! She sits down on a chair and waits to hear what he has to say, but after a few minutes when he stares at her without speaking, she gets up and sighs.
«Do you want me to speak for you? I can, because I know what you want to tell me. “Sibylle, are you sure you want to get back together with Claude?”, yes! He is my past and now my present, with him I know what awaits for me in the future because I know him. Claude is a man with a thousand faults, but one thing I like of him: he is predictable. When he asked for a divorce I wasn't too surprised because it was clear for some time that he was not happy with me. And now that I have been lucky enough to have him in my life again I won't let him go. How many women have been so lucky? With him, I know what I'm going to face. He isn't a fickle person like you. You disappeared into thin air for almost three weeks!»
«I know, and I'm terribly sorry about it.»
«Let me guess: force majeure?»
He clenches his jaws.
«Exactly.»
«Drakkar, you cannot go in and out from people's lives as if nothing had happened!»
«I don't want to be in people's life to beg. I want to be an important part of their lives.»
«You cannot be in my life in the way you want, Romain. I finally found my husband, I got what I wanted, and I'm going to hold it tight.»
«Yeah, good girl, keep it tight, otherwise it will slips under another woman's skirt as soon as you'll look away.»
Sibylle flares her nostrils and seem about to slap him.
«Don't you dare to talk like that of the man I love!»
«You're right, forgive me. You are meant to be together, you both have what you deserve, I hope you'll be happy now.»
«What you want from me, Drakkar?!»
«I want you.» murmurs his hoarse voice.
«You cannot have me, Romain, I belong to another man!»
«Do you?»
«I do.»
He gets closer till their bodies touch. He towers over her as she stares at his covered face, looking those inviting lips. He leans on her and she closes her eyes, opening her lips, preparing to receive one of those kisses that only he can give. One of those kisses that have the power to stun her, to viscerally touch her, to show her what passion means.
But that kiss never arrives.
Sibylle opens her eyes and finds him looking at her with a smirk. She tries to recompose herself but is too late, she already showed him the power he has over her.
«Why don't you go back into the nothingness from which you came out, Drakkar?»
«I will, but first I want to tell you something.»
Sibylle waits. Drakkar doesn't say a thing. Sibylle raises her eyebrows but doesn't say a word either, letting him the time he needs to find the courage to tell her what he wants.
He opens his mouth several times, but every time he gives up. He takes her hand and she looks at that great and veiny hand holding hers and feels fragile as only him can make her feel.
«Sibylle, I—», he starts to say, his voice strangely nervous.
He shakes his head, letting out a short and nervous laugh. It's clear that for him is something incredibly hard to say. He stares into her eyes and she feels a warm touch into the stomach.
«I love you, Sibylle.»
Sibylle remains motionless, while her lips half close-up. What?
She withdraws her hand and turns her back to him, holding her head in the hands. Drakkar is waiting for a reaction, for a word, but she remains silent for an indefinite laps of time.
«Romain—», she finally says with trembling voice, «why are you doing this to me? You cannot do this to me— You're shocking me, you are messing my life up!»
«Forgive me. I didn't want to upset you, but I've held in too long. Sibylle, I'm ready to hear any response, but please give me one.»
She turns to look at him with tears in her eyes.
«I'm sorry— I must be with Claude. Do you understand?»
Drakkar smiles and closes his eyes, feeling a painful pang in his heart. More painful than the bullets of few weeks before.
«I understand.» he whispers. «May I... have one last hug?»
She nods, wiping her tears. The man holds her tight in one of his amazing, strong and mighty hugs. Sibylle clings to his body, sobbing quietly. She would miss that warmth, that strength, that massive colossus whom makes her feel so protected, safe from the world.
«Don't cry, baby, the last thing I want is to make you cry. You must promise me one thing, okay? Promise me to follow your instinct; promise me you'll do crazy things dictated by the impulse of the moment; promise me you'll be the only ruler of your destiny; promise me you will not leave to others the power to interfere with your own life.» He takes her face in his big hands, smiling. «Promise me you'll be happy.»
She nods.
"I—I», she swallows a sob, «I promise you, Romain.»
«That's my petite leveret.» he says caressing her face and bending over to kiss her on the lips.
He goes to the door and turns to look at her one last time.
«Thank you for coming into my life, baby, I will never forget you. I wish you were mine, but that's okay. Every woman should stay with the man she loves.»
He smiles again and walks out. Leaving her alone.
He leaves.
He really left.
He left her alone.
Alone...
Alone.
She begins to cry silently falling sitting on a red velvet chair nearby. After a few minutes she feels a presence and turns her head to the bottom of the room, where a man just appeared. It's a distinguished grizzled man dressed in an elegant silver suit. He has a pair of blue gentle eyes. He stops in front of her and sighs.
«I was sitting there enjoy the garden view and my cognac, when you guys walked in, and what I heard shocked me: a man like Romain tells you that he loves you and you reject him? I will never understand women.»
«Who are you, sir?»
He takes gently her hand and almost touches the back of it with his lips in a very natural and elegant way.
«My name is Thierry, enchanté.»
«You know Romain, then?»
«Since he was a child. I've been like a father for him during his teenage years, and now we are close friends.»
Sibylle looks at his hands and notices that he doesn't wear any ring.
«You are the third founder of the Club D, aren't you?»
The man nods.
«That's right. How do you know?»
«Only two people in the Club can take the liberty not to wear any ring: Saphir and Drakkar, two of the founders. So was clear that you were the third.»
They stare at each other.
«Madame, listen: I realize that Claude is a fascinating man, he is intriguing, handsome and rich. As homosexual I am charmed by his attractiveness, but I also realize that he is an incomplete man. He lacks charisma. He isn't self confident, he is arrogant; he isn't firm, he is aggressive; he isn't smart, he is tricky; he isn't protective, he is possessive. And above all, I don't think he is in love, he is attracted.»
«What do you mean?»
«He's like one of those kids who abandon a toy, but when another child comes to play with it he wants it back at all costs. He enjoys to have the toy others desire, he loves to show others that the toy belongs to him just to make them jealous, even though he doesn't really want to play with it.»
«Aren't you men all like that?»
«More or less, yes.»
«So, Romain isn't different.»
The man laughs.
«I'll tell you something: when Romain was a child he found a teddy bear on the streets, a green teddy bear. Green, bof! Even the color was improbable. It was horrible: it was soiled, it missed an eye, its arms and legs were torn. Romain fell in love with it — and only God knows why he did! — and picked it up, he brought h
ome and washed it, then he sewed its limbs and put an eye patch on the missing eye. He called it Monsieur Verdâtre.»
Sibylle swallows hearing those words. Now she understands why he was so surprised when she told him she used the same name to call her caterpillar.
«Every Christmas his mother asked him to give some of his toys to the less fortunate children and he always did it. He filled a box of all his toys, except Monsieur Verdâtre.»
«You are trying to tell me that he kept it for long time because he is one who cares of—»
«He still has it, madame.»
Sibylle stands in shock and Thierry smiles at her.
«If you go to his house you will find a green teddy bear in the bookshelf. He keeps it with the certainty that one day he will give it to his son. Even the dogs don't touch it, as if they know that's an almost sacred object for their owner. And if you ask Romain why he keeps it — perhaps mocking that childish side of him — you will hear him saying: “A man isn't a real man if he doesn't remember the child he has been”.»
Sibylle purses her lips and Thierry smiles gently again.
«Try to mock Claude's childish side.» “If you dare to”, seems to say his expression.
«Well, I'd better go now. Please, forgive me if I upset you, madame.»
He does another gracious hand-kiss and goes to the door.
«Monsieur Thierry?» calls Sibylle.
He turns to look at her and she softly clears her throat before saying:
«I'm not Monsieur Verdâtre, you know. I'm not a stuffed or inanimate thing, I have a mind, I have a soul, I have a heart. And most of all I have decision-making power over my own life. I'm free to make all the choices I want.»
«Of course you are, my dear, we all have the right to make the wrong choices. Monsieur Verdâtre chose to be found by Romain and to stay with him forever, and I don't think it never regret that choice.»
«What the— It's a frigging teddy bear! It has no brain!»
«It certainly has more than someone else, madame, don't you think? Now, if you'll excuse me.»
He leaves the room and she finds herself lost in deep thought.
«Bille?»
She raises her head and sees Claude standing near the door.
«Are you okay? What Drakkar wanted? I followed you here, I don't trust that bastard.»
«He wanted to— He just wanted to say goodbye because he is... leaving.»
«Good! When that man is around I get very nervous. Come on now, Bille, it's almost dawn we better be going.»
«Yes.»
She follows him. They get out from the garden and when they are outside, in the stairway, Sibylle stops and looks at him.
«Claude?»
He also stops turning to look at her.
«When you were a child did you have a favorite toy?» asks her.
«Yes, of course. Many toys.»
«No, I mean, did you have one in particular, a favorite one?»
He thinks for a moment.
«Yes, a stuffed animal, a white rabbit. I call it Bon-Bon.»
«“I call it”?»
«Yes, I keep it jealously in my old room in my mother's house.»
She looks at him with tenderness and hugs him, kissing his neck and touching his lips with hers.
«Oh, Claude, you're so sweet, honey! And Bon-Bon is a lovely name, I like it!»
He shrugs.
«I didn't give it that name, its owner did.» Sibylle loses her smile as he explains: «It was the toy of a child who I hated, so one day I stole it and I kept it as a trophy. One of my first successes!»
He begins to walk again followed by a silent Sibylle. When they arrive at the parking where there are the black cars of the Club, two men open the car door and they sit in the back. Claude gives directions to his apartment, then winks at Sibylle.
«I want you to come to my place today. I want to stay with you all day.»
She smiles at him, unconvinced. On the way they both remain silent: Claude almost asleep, and Sibylle lost in her thoughts. At a traffic light a black sport motorbike roars in the street, heading toward the Eiffel Tower. Sibylle shivers recognizing Drakkar, but a second later she is distracted by the ringing of her phone: it's Nora.
«Hello Siba, excuse the time, but I thought you'd be awake anyway. Are you coming home?»
«No, Nora, I'm going to Claude's apartment.»
Nora does a puking sound which makes Sibylle smile.
«Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I came to sleep at your house, since is closer.»
«You did well, Nora.»
«But I called you to tell you something else!»
«Oh?»
«It's about Verdâtre, it came out from its cocoon!»
«Oh! That's wonderful! How is it? Describe it, please.»
«It's a moth, Sibylle, it's a beautiful moth. It's white with some green reflections and is very large, it barely fits on my open palm. It has triangular wings and a long tail. I Googled it and I think it's an actias selene. What should I do, Sibylle? You want me to free it now or you want to wait until you get back?»
Sibylle takes a deep breath and leans better against the seat, thinking.
«So, Siba, what you want me to do?»
Sibylle sighs.
«I would love to see it.»
She thinks about it for a long time.
«Sibylle?»
«Free her, Nora. Its life is too short and not even a second of it must be wasted. Its home is the sky, the sky of Paris.»
Nora goes out to the terrace.
«I'm on the balcony, Sibylle. Here, I raised my hand... How strange, it doesn't want to fly away, it seems like if it were afraid. I'll call you again as soon as it flies away.»
Sibylle puts back the phone staring in front of her, then she feels something hard in her bag, and takes it out. When she sees the black onyx that Amelie lent to her she feels her heart almost bouncing out of her chest.
«Stop the car!» she orders to the driver.
«Sibylle?» calls Claude waking up suddenly, as the driver stops the car.
Sibylle opens the car door then turns to look at her husband with a sad smile.
«Sorry, Claude, but Verdâtre made me realize that those who have wings must fly. Unless you find a safe nest, but you're not my safe nest.»
«What are you saying?»
«Even the other Verdâtre has made its choice, and it doesn't even have a brain, it's a frigging teddy bear! And then the black onyx of Amelie that reappears out of nowhere...»
«Sibylle, what the fuck are you talking about?!» he yells nervous.
She smiles before to takes off his wedding ring and put it on his palm. Claude looks at the ring and then at her again. The woman has a resolute gaze, those eyes are shining with joy, the joy of knowing what she really wants. It's a gaze that says a lot about her feelings, it's a gaze that clearly says she doesn't feel to belong to him anymore. She gets off the car and takes off her red shoes, holding them in her hand.
«I'm sorry, Claude, but a woman should stay with the man she loves.»
She closes the door and runs away.
Claude gets out of the car and starts calling her loudly, angrily. But Sibylle runs with a big smile on her face, enjoying that new freedom. Yes, because finally she feels free.
Free!
Now she knows what to do, now she knows where to go, and above all she knows what she wants: Drakkar.
It's a wonderful feeling to know what one wants and it's even more wonderful to be free to have it!
Free!
Free to follow her instinct, free to linger in her passion, free to do what makes her happy. And the further she runs away from Claude the further she runs away from mediocrity, from the memories of loneliness, from the pain of a past now gone. She runs, runs without feeling fatigue, despite she starts to feel a constant pain in her chest, which forces her to breathe through her mouth. The phone starts to ring again and she answers without slowing her running.
«Sibylle, Verdâtre just decided to fly away! Oh, it's really beautiful!»
Sibylle smiles and hangs up, running breathlessly and making people turning to look at her. Many wonder where she is going with that desperate hurry, with those shoes in her hand and a happy smile on her lips. Everybody understands that she is running to someone she loves, and many wish her luck. She raises her hand to thank them, without stopping her crazy running. The ears pulsate and the thighs begin to pinch, she scratches them to find relief but soon she doesn't care anymore of those little annoyances. She jumps a fence and runs on a public meadow, looking at the great road nearby which leads to the Eiffel Tower. She pauses to catch her breath and in that moment she hears the roar of a motorbike. She raises her head and sees Drakkar passing by at high speed just before her eyes there, on Avenue de Nations Unies!
She starts to run again, calling him loudly. She runs on the sidewalk along the road, under the gaze of astonished people in the cars.
«Romain! Romain!» she cries desperately.
“Please, hear me! Please, turn around! I'm here, Romain, I'm coming to you, my love! I want to be with you...”
Tears of emotion and fear wet her cheeks. She is happy to be free, but at the same time she is afraid to be rejected by the man she loves. Well, that was the risk, a risk she is willing to take to have him. She runs, calls his name aloud and now she also waves.
But she realizes that as soon as he would have turned to Pont d'Iéna — the bridge which leads to the Eiffel Tower — she couldn't reach him anymore. She stops and shakes her head, feeling frustrated. She almost falls to her knees, but then her face lights up when she sees that the traffic light turned red, just before he could pass.
The man stops to wait for the green, with his feet on the ground and his arms folded, as usual. Behind him a long line of cars and on the right a top open tour bus. Drakkar takes a deep breath, trying to control the nausea at the thought of Claude touching and kissing her lovely Si...
«Señor? Señor!»
The Spanish boys calling him from the bus distract him from his thoughts. He turns to look at them: they are indicating behind him.
The Black Onyx Pact Page 36
