by Vic Tyler
It stuns him long enough for me to slip around and anchor myself on his back. I wrap my arm around his neck and stick him in a headlock as my vision starts going scarlet.
I’ve gotten better at controlling my violent fits, but once I toe the edge of blinding rage, it’s hard to come back.
“Enough.”
The voice that’s commanded my every move since I was thirteen makes me freeze once again.
The effect West still has on me is shocking.
So that hasn’t changed either.
I knew he’d be watching the fight, but I assumed it’d be from one of his sneaky cameras, not actually in person.
I loosen my grip only minutely but don’t move until Turan taps his defeat on the mat.
I struggle not to stumble back, having taken a couple of hits to the head through my arms, and I’m woozier from Turan’s hits than I’d like to admit.
Fuck. I almost lost.
I don’t look at Adriana, my emotions already warring.
Instead, I straighten my back and hold myself up high as I stare at West. His expression is unreadable.
I’m tempted to invite him to the floor to see how I’d match against him.
For once, I want to fight him.
I’ve always wanted to kill him, but now, I want to measure my skills against this man we all hold on some fire–and–brimstone pedestal.
Only when Adriana moves next to West do I falter, my gaze immediately clicking to her.
Fuck.
In the short time I’ve been gone, she’s grown to be beautiful.
So beautiful.
Her hair’s tied tightly back, baring all her gorgeous features, the same face I’d seen since she was thirteen except now fully woman.
The baby fat she gained back when she came to live here has chiseled into elegant curves of her smooth, soft skin — sloping over high cheekbones to a daintily sharp chin.
Unblinking, her eyes are large and dark, framed by long lashes, and her lips are full and pink.
She’s grown a few inches in height and rounded out in curves. Luscious curves from the swells of her breasts to her shapely hips and full thighs.
Our eyes lock, and she’s not smiling, but it doesn’t take away from her beauty.
My heart pounds, threatening to pump blood somewhere I don’t want it to go.
I dread seeing her smile because I don’t know if I’ll be able to control the visceral reactions of my body, and there’s no fucking way I can get hard right here, right now, in front of everyone to witness.
Disgusting. I know I’m fucked up, but I never thought I’d be so despicable to even consider seeing Adriana like that.
Unforgivable.
I tear my eyes away and realize that the room is full of people. And any urge that my dick has to stiffen immediately dies.
Everyone is here.
Seriously, everyone who’s anyone is here.
Thank god I didn’t get an erection.
My gaze travels over all the familiar faces I haven’t seen in years. They’re impassive, expressionless, alert, threatened.
I feel Turan standing behind me and turn.
He smiles, holding out his hand as a show of good faith, but there’s a wariness in his expression that wasn’t there before.
Good.
That’ll make everything easier.
I made the mistake of once thinking they were family, and now, I’ve established myself as a threat. To their status quo, to their equilibrium, to their lives.
To the order.
I tighten my jaw as I turn back to look at West, and there’s an unspoken communication that passes through us.
He’s not looking down on me anymore. He sees me as a viable opponent.
And with one look, I promise him that he’s next. That he brought this upon himself.
I’m doing all of this to protect Adriana. To protect the purity of her smile and the sanctity of her happiness.
To free her from West’s clutches.
And to keep her out of mine.
chapter twenty-six
Damien is back.
My heart drums in my chest, and it’s so loud that I’m afraid West can hear it.
I don’t understand what’s happening to my body. It’s hard to breathe, and the room feels hot even though no one else seems to be bothered.
My nipples are hard, and every time they shift against my bra, it sends a zing of liquid heat to my core, adding to the aching burn between my thighs.
Damien is taller and broader from when I last saw him. His muscular shoulders and arms gleam from the sweat, and his shirt is drenched, sticking to the contours of his ripped chest. His dark sweatpants cling to his narrow hips and strong thighs.
Curbing my runaway imagination while I watched that fabric stretch over his toned butt when he was squatting and grappling was no easy feat. And that’s not even mentioning how I’m fighting to avoid staring at the thick length running down his leg.
It’s not even hard, and it’s massive. The guys at school I fooled around with have nothing compared to Damien.
Pity washes over me for the presently absent boys who’ll forever remain diminutive in my memory.
There’s a heavy power that radiates from him. Dark and dangerous.
He’s so incredibly sexy, and all the irritation and anger I felt for him for the past two years faded to the background the second I saw him.
Until his gaze passed over me like I’m nothing.
I guess I am nothing to him now.
Two years.
For two long, fucking years, he hasn’t talked to me. Not a single call or text.
Not even a ‘tell Adriana I said hi’ to Kitty or Turan or anyone else he might have talked to. I don’t even know who he talked to, but all I know is that it wasn’t me.
The air around him is different. Being in the eastern and northern factions matured him.
There’s a steely determination in his eyes, especially when he stares West down, and fear binds me. For both of them.
I still don’t want them to fight. I still don’t want either of them to die.
But now, I know it’s inevitable.
I’m powerless. Voiceless. I understand my insignificance when it comes to Venti, but it’s hard to come to terms with the fact that they don’t care that I’m going to be wrecked if either of them dies.
My head is reeling. Turan told me to come down, curiously off–schedule, for our weekly training sessions.
West had insisted on them shortly after Damien left, said it was for self–defense.
I hadn’t argued, especially after he had shown me what Kaden and likely everyone else was capable of.
Everyone here spars regularly, so I wasn’t surprised to find Turan already in the middle of a fight. But when I saw that familiar mess of black hair and those long, strong limbs moving in lethal grace…
I grit my teeth as conflicting feelings surge through my body.
Spinning around on my heels, I stride out with my head held high.
Look at him. Coming back all hot and haughty like he’s the shit.
And everyone else is no better, gawking and staring at him like that.
In the end, he’s still just Damien.
A little voice in the back of my head taunts, ‘You’re just mad he didn’t notice you.’
Shut up. I know.
He could’ve at least looked at me. Really looked at me instead of that blank look when our eyes met for a brief second like he couldn’t recognize who I was.
I’ve never felt so insulted in my life, and I’ve been insulted, violated, and abused a lot.
And yet, Damien doesn’t do anything, and I hurt all over. Because he doesn’t do anything.
I miss the days when we talked, and I thought he enjoyed it too. Maybe he was just putting up with me because he saw me as someone to take care of.
God, why was I such a stupid little brat?
Maybe if I didn’t talk so much or daydream or try
to fit in as a normal kid, we’d still be talking.
‘Yeah,’ my inner voice sasses. ‘Because he’d still think of you as his baby sister. But you dashed that idea and ruined that sham of a relationship when you kissed him.’
Ugh!
I throw my hands up in the air as I storm down the empty halls.
Now, I’m just talking to myself. I’m officially nuts. Absolutely nuts.
When I get to my room, I pace the floor.
The thought of going back out and possibly running into Damien gives me the jitters.
What would I say? Would he say something first?
I freeze in my tracks, and the wall gets the full force of my laser glare.
He should talk to me. Why should I cave and make the first move when he’s the one who’s been ignoring me all this time?
But… what if he doesn’t want to talk to me?
My heart sinks at the thought.
What if he doesn’t want to be friends or even acquaintances anymore?
Then, I’m the one who’s going to be chasing him around again, just like back then. And that ended up with him leaving for two years just to get away from me.
I huff. Whatever. I’m not going to grovel for his attention.
My phone shrills, and I pause when I see that it’s an unknown number.
Cautiously, I answer. “Hello?”
“Adriana!” Kaden’s pleasant voice rings over the noisy, shuffling background of people talking and cars honking. “You picked up.”
Whoa.
I can’t help feeling a little confused. Kaden’s texted me a couple times since he left a year ago, but he’s never called before. “Of course. What’s up?”
“Next week is your birthday!” He sounds so excited, and in spite of myself, I’m touched that he remembered.
And then, bitterness poisons my mood.
Does Damien remember? Probably not since he hasn’t wished me a happy birthday in the past two years.
“I’m going to be in town for an assignment, so I figured I’d drop by, say hi, and give you a present. Is there anything you want?”
A cross–factional assignment? That’s interesting. A lot of the Twelve often leave the state, but I never thought they ventured that far.
“It’s okay. There’s nothing in particular I want, so you don’t have to get me anything.”
“Aw, don’t be like that.” He laughs, and I’m a little amazed at how normal our conversation sounds. “You don’t want to leave the brainstorming up to me.” It makes me shudder a little bit thinking about what kind of present would make Kaden happy. “How about cupcakes?”
I perk up. “Cupcakes?”
“Yeah,” he says enthusiastically. “Magnolia Bakery’s pretty famous for them. Have you ever been?”
Even though I want to, I’ve never even gone out of the state. “No, I haven’t.”
“Great! I’ll bring you some. I’ll bring one for everyone there. Well, at least for West and the Twelve.” He laughs. “I might go bankrupt if I buy some for everyone.”
I glance at the door. If Kaden is coming, it’d be good to tell West and the others, right? “Okay, I’ll let them know you’re coming.”
“We can have a party. I’ll bring some fireworks,” he jokes with a laugh. “Frankly, I won’t have much time other than to drop off your present and say hi.”
He pauses, and his voice sounds a little more hesitant and cautious. “Actually, it’s probably better if you don’t tell people over there.”
My alarms go off like crazy, but he continues hurriedly, “Well, West, Turan, and Damien know I’m coming.” He sighs like he’s conflicted. “Actually, I lied. Sort of. I do have business over in the western faction, but next week is the annual Cardinal meeting. On your birthday, actually. Did anyone mention it?”
My eyebrows furrow in suspicion. If it’s annual, how come I’ve never heard about it? “No.”
“Yeah, they probably wouldn’t have.” He laughs sheepishly. “It’s top secret. All the Cardinals bring two of their Twelve, and it’s like a progress–meeting–slash–leadership–conference. The Twelve probably know about it, but the rest of the deviants don’t. Liabilities, terrorists, and all. So it’s better if you don’t tell Hilda or Tom or any of the others since they’re not supposed to know. I’m not even supposed to tell you about it, but I made you feel uncomfortable, eh?”
A little bit of guilt washes over me. Was I that obvious?
“The meeting isn’t a big deal, but someone might blow up on me if they find out I told you, so keep it a secret, okay?”
“Okay,” I say warily.
I’m not sure if he’s lying about the meeting or not, but I’ll feel better once I talk to West. It shouldn’t be a problem telling him or at least confirming what Kaden is saying is true.
“Great. Anyway, I’ll just pop in and wish you a happy birthday. Figured I’d let you know beforehand, so your head doesn’t explode when I burst in there unannounced.” He chuckles lightheartedly. He really can be so sweet.
“Thanks for the heads up.”
“Wait, one more thing.” His voice gets so shy that it’s kind of cute. “Do you know if Kitty is going to be around?”
What?? He likes Kitty?
Tilting my head thoughtfully, I think about her dyed hair and makeover.
She’s changed her appearance, which means she has an assignment. So she’ll probably be gone for a while, but I’m not sure when or for how long.
“I’m not sure,” I say truthfully.
Kaden makes a thoughtful “hmm” sound before reluctantly saying, “Shoot. Now that Damien is back, I bet they’re spending lots of time together.” His tone is suggestive enough that I know what he means.
My lips press together, my mood souring.
“I don’t know,” I say curtly.
He sighs. “Lucky bastard. The girls here won’t stop talking about him either —” Ugh, I don’t want to hear this. “— Definitely makes me miss the west coast.”
I feel almost a little bad for him. Kaden’s handsome and charming, but Damien’s undeniably irresistible.
“Well, you’ll be here next week,” I offer.
“Would you look at that?” he says cheerfully. “We’re a couple of lonely kindred spirits.”
My lips tug into a wry smile. As weird as it is, I guess we are. Only when it comes to our ailing hearts.
“We can combine your birthday with my pity party and have a blast by ourselves. More bang for our buck. Well, with the cupcakes anyway.”
With a small laugh, I say, “Sure.”
We soon say goodbye with the promise to see each other next week, and as soon as I hang up, I bolt to my closet to change my clothes.
I’m not going to work out anyway, and I want to talk to West.
I stop by his office first to check if he’s returned, knocking on the door. It clicks open, and I push through to find West standing by his desk.
Along with Damien and Turan in the room.
Damien’s bright blue gaze meets mine, and I’m frozen under his stare.
It feels like he’s finally looking at me for the first time.
In two years.
‘Two whole years,’ I want to scream at him.
The contours of his face look like they were carved out of marble, and he’s gotten so handsome that it takes my breath away.
His cheekbones are lethally sharp, his jawline defined with deadly strength, and I can drown in the intense aquamarines of his eyes.
Now that he’s still, I can see that his hair isn’t a messy flop anymore. It’s stylishly trimmed close at the sides and longer on top.
My hands itch to run through the untangled strands.
He’s even taller and broader than he looked when he was sparring with Turan. He’s still wearing the same clothes, and the muscles in his arms are on display out of his sleeveless shirt, and they’re corded and ridged perfectly.
My breath hitches when I think about what the r
est of his body looks like.
Turan clears his throat, and I realize I’ve been staring at Damien who now arches an eyebrow, looking coolly like he knows the effect he has on me and couldn’t care less how I feel.
Ugh.
“My birthday” are the only words that blurt out of my mouth.
I’m so dumb.
And I sound so vain.
But I can’t help it. Does Damien remember? Kaden did! Fucking crazy, psychopath, serial killer Kaden remembered my birthday!
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your birthday, Adriana,” West says slowly when I don’t say anything else. “Unfortunately, some of us won’t be here on the day of due to some business, so would you mind if we celebrate it the night before?”
Oh, so it seems like Kaden was right. “All three of you?”
West and Turan look curiously at me, and Damien’s eyebrows twitch together in the slightest movement like he’s wondering why he has to bother celebrating my birthday.
“Yes,” West says. “The three of us will be gone for most of the day. We’re not sure when we’ll be back.”
“Oh.” I guess Kaden was telling the truth.
It makes sense since West has seemed busier in the past week. He told me the last time we saw each other that he’d be busy for a while, so it might be a couple of weeks before we can play chess.
If this meeting is important enough to keep them busy, then Kaden coming isn’t that big of a deal. Especially if he’s just stopping by to drop off cupcakes. He’ll be attending the meeting all day too.
I nod as I awkwardly inch back. When I reach the door, I turn around and look squarely at West. And only him.
“West, I have something I want to talk to you about. Can you make time for me soon?”
Even though I can see Damien staring at me through my peripheral vision, I don’t look at him.
And as soon as West nods, I slip out the door.
I’m hoping to make one last appeal.
Everyone here is so important to me, and I can’t imagine my life without them.
I can’t let this go without one more try.
chapter twenty-seven
Other than the time she came into West’s office, I don’t see Adriana for the next few days.
