She glanced up at him when he didn’t answer and saw that his previously jovial face had morphed into something else, something painful. She watched him grab his shirt off of the handlebars, quickly putting it on.
“I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head slightly, angry at herself.
“Don’t be sorry. It’s nothing,” he lied, hoping that his nonchalance would prevent any further questions.
Madison was torn and Andrew could sense that. He ran his fingers along her face and tried to smile. They had an amazing day so far. He didn’t want it ruined by his past.
“Is this a phoenix?” Madison asked, reaching towards the tattoo on his left forearm.
“Yes,” he replied hesitantly.
He watched as her fingers moved along the flames at his wrist and up his arm, she suddenly stopped and went ghostly white. She withdrew her hand quickly and tried to smile but it looked strained. She looked down, quickly pulling on her bra and blouse and then abruptly stepped off the Harley, slipping her panties and pants on. Andrew wasn’t sure what had happened but something had definitely changed. He stepped off the bike and turned around as he continued to watch her. She had that faraway look on her face so he knew she was thinking.
“Is everything alright?”
“Yes, of course, everything is fine but I really should get back.”
She walked up to him and kissed him lightly on the mouth and when he parted his lips she immediately deepened it. When their kiss finally broke, she smiled at him and got back on the bike, wrapping her arms around his waist as he started the engine.
The drive back to her Grans seemed to take forever. Madison knew that Andrew was concerned but she just needed to think. When she had felt the familiar track marks on his arm her heart had dropped to her stomach. Of all the drugs out there that he could have used, why did it have to be heroin? Madison knew that she just needed to hold it together until she got back to her Grans. When they finally arrived, she smiled at him as she got off the bike but he looked confused and sad which made her feel horrible.
“Madison, if I did something to upset you...” he started to say but she quickly placed her fingers against his lips and then kissed him softly.
“It’s fine, Helios,” Madison whispered against his lips. “Can I see you tomorrow?”
He smiled against her. “Yes,” he mumbled as he kissed her again.
By the time Madison stumbled away from him she was literally light headed. She struggled to compose herself as she stepped in the house. She rested her back against the door as it shut behind her and closed her eyes tightly. She needed time to wrap her head around everything that had transpired.
“I take it you enjoyed yourself,” Grandma Downing said from the couch.
Madison nodded and then walked over and sat next to her Grans. Madison glanced at the television and saw that she was watching Wheel of Fortune, again. Madison grinned when her Gran’s yelled out the letter ‘T’ and then scrunched her eyebrows together, trying to decide what the puzzle was.
“The right time of the night,” Madison said casually just as the woman from Iowa announced the same thing.
“Show off.”
“Anything particular you want me to make for dinner, Grans?”
“Whatever you make will be fine, Maddie. Thankfully you didn’t inherit your mother’s horrible cooking abilities,” she said, shaking her head.
Madison laughed. “Well, she can make some things okay.”
She kissed her grans lightly on the temple and headed into the kitchen, gathering things to make homemade spinach and cheese ravioli. Her mother was not the greatest cook, that was true, but, oddly enough, her spinach and cheese ravioli had always been the best. Madison hadn’t made them in a long time, mostly because the dish always reminded her of her father but for some reason she wanted them tonight.
“Maddie!” Grandma Downing shouted.
Her granddaughter had a faraway look on her face. She was definitely lost somewhere else which troubled her. Madison shook her head, startled as she turned to her grandmother.
“The water is boiling over.”
“Shit!” Madison screeched as she turned it down. “Sorry Grans.”
“What were you thinking about, Maddie?” her Grandmother asked with concern.
“Dad,” Madison simply replied as her eyes closed tightly. She then began rubbing her forehead with her fingers trying to wipe the images out of her head.
“Oh.”
Grandma Downing looked at the distraught face of her granddaughter. She remembered vividly that dreadful night when Madison was eight years old and the aftermath of everything that happened. Many lives were lost and broken that night. It bothered her greatly that her granddaughter seemed to still carry that loss with her.
“What brought that on?” she finally asked as she touched her shoulder.
Madison just shook her head. She didn’t want to discuss it and she certainly didn’t want to tell her grandmother that Andrew was a former heroin addict. She didn’t want her to think any less of him.
“Madison?” her Grandmother again inquired.
“It’s nothing, Grans. He just popped in my head. It’s no big deal. It happens sometimes,” Madison said with the best smile she could muster.
“You know you can talk to me about him?”
“I know, Grans.” She hesitated and then got a contemplative look on her face, “Mom always said that you hated him. Is that true?”
Her grandmother let out a loud breath. After John’s overdose she was not quiet about her dislike for him. It had caused a further strain on her relationship with her daughter which would eventually lead to not being allowed to see her granddaughter. She had never talked to Madison about this and decided it was high time she did. She got up and walked over to her.
“No, I never actually hated him at all. I knew he had a problem. A sickness he couldn’t overcome,” Madison’s grandmother said sincerely, as she pulled a stray hair behind her granddaughter’s ear. “What I did hate though was that when he died a part of your mother died with him. He killed that free spirit within her and all that was left was bitterness and anger. I also… I resented that he left you without a father.”
Madison nodded and continued to slowly turn the ravioli, contemplating her grandmother’s words. She wondered if Andrew carried that sickness within him as well, and if he did, would she one day be left angry and bitter like her mother. Madison had much to consider.
“Dinner will be ready soon,” Madison finally said half-heartedly.
~*~
Andrew was torn as he pulled up to his aunt and uncles trailer. Madison had said she wanted to see him again but there just seemed to be something off about her behavior. He had such little experience with relationships; in actuality, he had no experience. As he walked into his aunt’s trailer she and Aaron were both sitting on the couch together. He had his arm draped around her and she had fallen asleep against him.
“Did you have a good time?” Aaron asked as Andrew sat down on one of the loveseats.
“It was great. Madison is amazing. I don’t know though...” Andrew looked down and considered if he should ask him. “She seemed upset when we left.”
“Really? Hmmm,” he replied reflective. “What happened before she seemed upset?”
“Umm, she was looking at my tattoos and she was feeling up my arm...” Andrew stopped.
Andrew felt his stomach turn as he dropped his head in his lap, drawing his hands into his hair. He knew at that point that she had felt his track marks and that she knew what they were. He abruptly stood and walked back to his bedroom and lay on his bed. His right arm immediately moved over his forearm as he closed his eyes tightly.
Andrew took a deep breath and ran his hand down his arm, feeling the marks that would forever tell people that he had been a drug user. The tattoo covered them up to the naked eye but they were still there, ready and willing to slap him in the face should he ever forget. He heard a knock on the
door and knew that it was probably Aaron coming to check on him.
“Come in, Aaron.”
“Am I that predicable?” Aaron asked, stepping into the room.
“She felt my track marks. It bothered her,” Andrew lamented, sitting up in the bed and leaning against the headboard.
Aaron took a seat on the bed and faced Andrew. “What exactly did she say?”
“Nothing, she felt them and then she wanted to leave.” Andrew ran his hand through his hair. “Well, I mean I did say we should go but before that she didn’t seem like she wanted to leave and when we got to her grandmothers I asked her if, you know, if I did anything to upset her and she said no and that everything was fine.”
“So she didn’t say anything specific was wrong?”
“No but... I sensed a shift in her.”
“Andrew, it could be that it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with something else entirely,” Aaron said, trying to reassure him.
“I guess.”
“Just talk with her, Andrew. The biggest mistake men make is they think something might be wrong and they do nothing about it because she says everything is fine,” Aaron said with a laugh and then became very serious. “The word fine is one of those volatile words that could mean so many different things. Trust me on this one. If you really think something changed then ask her about it again. It’s better to check and be wrong than to not check and have it blow up in your face a week or two later.”
Andrew nodded his understanding and ran his hand through his hair once again as Aaron stood and walked out of the room. Andrew brought his hand down his arm again and glanced at the tattoo he drew a few years ago. After Aaron had talked to him about the legend of the Phoenix he had decided that he wanted to cover up his forearm with it in the hopes that he could rise above his past as Aaron had told him he could. He had sketched several designs but settled on the last one he played with. Aaron had then lent him the money to get the tattoo. As he ran his fingers along his forearm, he sighed deeply, hoping that his previous drug use hadn’t shifted Madison’s views on him.
~*~
“Harrison, I guarantee it, man; this shit will take it all away. It’s like touching heaven.”
Andrew woke in a sweat and glanced at his clock. It was one in the morning. He had been tossing and turning since he fell asleep several hours ago. He had vacillated between hearing Madison say that she didn’t want to see him again, to remembering his previous drug use, to finally hearing Aaron tell him that fine isn’t always fine. But the most troubling dreams had been of Madison. He needed to see her, to know that things were okay with them. He slipped out of bed and threw on a pair of jeans and a V-neck tee shirt. He just had to know. He initially thought of jumping on his Harley but figured that would make too much noise so he took off on foot.
It took him fifteen minutes to get to her trailer. All the lights were out and he was having second thoughts about doing this but walked around to the window that he thought was hers. The window was cracked open to allow the cool summer air inside. He could see her sleeping in her bed. Andrew stood and watched her for a long time, admiring the wistful way she moved in the bed but she suddenly started thrashing around, clearly having a nightmare of some sort and he felt paralyzed.
“Madison, wake up,” he whispered but she didn’t wake. “Madison, baby, wake up,” he said a little louder and with that she jumped up in her bed, a confused expression on her face.
“Andrew?” she said softly as she looked around her room.
“Over here, baby,” Andrew whispered again.
A huge smile came over her face when she saw him standing outside her window. She slipped out of the bed and rushed over to where he was.
“What are you doing here?” she asked through the window screen.
“I... I needed to see you. Can I come in?”
“Of course, go to the front door.”
Madison eagerly made her way to the front of the trailer and when she opened the door he was just approaching her. She immediately threw her arms around his neck and kissed him before resting her head against his chest. She had been plagued with nightmares all night and she needed him close.
“Come inside but be real quiet so we don’t wake my grandmother.”
They tip toed back into Madison’s room and Andrew looked around. Her room resembled a young girl’s bedroom. There was pretty pink bedding on the double bed and a large cork board that had some drawings on it along with several pictures. There was a large dresser with a mirror that had little pink and purple ribbons coming off the sides and a small desk with a laptop, the only modern thing in the room. It appeared that her grandmother had just kept her room exactly the way it was when she was a little girl.
“I’m sorry for coming so late but you did say you wanted to see me today,” he said, giving her the smirk that he knew she loved.
Madison grinned and took his hand, leading him to the bed. She lay down and motioned for him to lay with her. They were both lying on their sides, watching each other. Andrew gently stroked her face.
“You seemed upset earlier,” he said, tracing the outline of her lips.
“It wasn’t you.”
He nodded as he took her hand and ran her fingers along his forearm, watching as she flinched.
“I’m not proud of the fact that I used drugs. I was pretty messed up for a long time. But I have been clean for eight years,” he said with conviction.
“Heroin is hard to quit. People stop and then start again all the time,” Madison said with tears in her eyes.
After her father died, she had found out that her dad had used when she was a baby but quit for her and her mom, only later to start back up again. They never knew if he had taken his own life or if his overdose was a terrible accident, but what Madison did know was that that single event had altered her life forever. Andrew watched as Madison’s face displayed the agony she was under. He wasn’t sure what was going on but he felt troubled by her misery.
“Do you ever think about using again?” Madison asked with a trembling voice.
“Never!” he said without hesitation, gently wiping under her eyes. “I’m not bullshitting you, Madison. I don’t crave it at all.” He needed her to believe him.
She nodded. “I have seen what heroin can do. If there is the slightest chance you could use again we should end this before it is too late for both of us,” Madison said sincerely but she already knew in her heart that it was already too late for her.
“I won’t start again,” he said kissing her softly.
“Please, Andrew, I can’t...” Madison couldn’t finish her thought as visions of her dad crossed her mind, her mom in hysterics and later becoming what she was now, an uncaring bitch.
“I won’t. I swear to you, Madison, I won’t,” Andrew said, and he too had tears in his eyes, seeing the pain on her face. He kissed her again softly, not sure what he could do to convince her that she didn’t have to worry about this.
Madison nodded again and immediately deepened their kiss. He let out a soft moan as her hand slowly moved around to the front of his jeans. His hands moved over her and pulled her against him. Madison wasted no time as she threw her leg over his and rubbed against him, feeling delicious waves of ecstasy igniting within her. He laid her back on the bed and pulled her tank top up and over her head and then pulled her sleep shorts down. He allowed his mouth to trail down her neck and collar bone until he found her breast. His mouth then languidly moved along her stomach until he reached her pubic hair, grinning as her breath hitched. She moaned loudly and then brought both of her hands over her mouth in a thwarted effort to not make any noise.
“Madison, you are amazing,” Andrew finally said as he brought his mouth back to hers, kissing her intensely.
Madison felt as if she was in some sort of pleasure spiral as her body did not feel her own. Andrew was something else and her body and soul responded to him, craved him, and was enflamed by him. When she was able to gai
n some form of control over her senses she quickly moved her fingers back to his jeans. She began touching him, almost roughly as he moaned in her mouth. She pushed him back on the bed and grinned at his stunned expression. She quickly pulled his shirt off, running her hands along his chest until she reached his jeans again which she yanked off haphazardly. His body shifted on the bed abruptly in the process which caused him to laugh profusely. She stood and brought her finger over her mouth.
“Shhh, Helios,” she said with a wicked grin as she pulled his boxer briefs down.
Andrew was not capable of forming any coherent thought. He was barely holding off his impending orgasm but when she started talking dirty to him he seriously questioned how long he would really last, and he wanted to last. Andrew was panting and grunting in that sexy way that made Madison feel like she was the best lover in the universe. He continued whimpering softly and when he was completely satiated and his body was no longer vibrating, Madison crawled up the bed, snuggling next to him. Andrew immediately brought her close to him and they both fell into a peaceful and restful sleep, holding each other tightly. Madison briefly wondered what her grandmother would say if she found Andrew in her bedroom but the thought quickly passed as his grip around her tightened. She would deal with that tomorrow.
13 MORNING SUN
Madison heard movement in the bathroom and woke abruptly, glancing at the clock, although she knew without a shred of doubt what time it was. Much to Madison’s dismay, she had learned early on that her grandmother had an internal clock set for six a.m. But even her grandmothers early morning rituals could not hinder the happiness Madison felt at waking with Andrew’s body wrapped around her. His long legs were thrown over hers and his arm was locked around her waist. His other arm was perched on the pillow over her head and his hand was enmeshed within the tangled web that was her hair. Her back was touching his chest and she could feel the gentle beat of his heart. When he felt her move, he pulled her even closer to him. Madison breathed in deeply, not wanting this feeling to end but also not wanting her grandmother to find Andrew in her bed. Madison’s grandmother was very religious and Madison was certain that she would not approve.
Helios Awakened (The Helios Chronicles #1) Page 12
