by Hazel Kelly
Kevin poked his head in. "Can I get a quick opinion?"
"Of course," I said, tucking the shirt in.
His booted feet kicked the door closed behind him. He was wearing a shirt just like mine and had a hat in each hand. "Should I go traditional country?" he asked, plopping the tan cowboy hat on his head.
"Uh-huh."
"Or-" he swapped the hats he was wearing. "Give this baby a night out?"
I laughed.
His face drooped. "What?"
"Who do you think you are? Fucking Pharrell?"
"No. I just thought-"
"That one looks ridiculous," I said, raising my palms towards him. "In my opinion."
He sighed.
"Then again, I'm probably a lot less interested in current trends than your date is." I turned towards the mirror. "Who are you taking again?"
"Brittney."
I furrowed my brow at my shirt. "The Tri Delt or the G-Phi?"
"The Tri Delt."
I nodded. "Nice."
"As long as I can keep her away from the jungle juice."
I raised my eyebrows and turned around. "What makes you say that?"
Kevin shrugged and pulled his Pharrell hat off. "Apparently it doesn't agree with her."
"I didn't know there was anyone it did agree with," I said, unbuttoning my shirt.
"Yeah," he said. "Good point."
"Plus, she's probably a hundred and ten pounds soaking wet-"
"And a sophomore."
"Yeah," I said, pulling my shirt off and throwing it on the bed. "I'd keep an eye on her alright."
"One of the Beta guys told me if I keep her on vodka, I'm guaranteed a great night."
I walked to my closet and let my fingers tip toe across the hangers. "Is he the kinda guy you can trust or the kinda guy that would laugh if he heard you got your dick yacked on?"
"Oh fuck," Kevin said. "Probably both."
When I found the black and green shirt I was looking for- the one Izzy always said brought out the green flecks in my eyes- I pulled it off the hanger and turned around. "You want my advice?"
"Always," he said.
I pulled the shirt over my shoulders and started buttoning it up. "I'd play it safe and keep her on the beer. It's going to be a long night, and it'll be a whole lot longer if your date gets sick or messy."
He nodded and ran his fingers along the brim of his spare hat. "I suppose you have a point."
"I do," I said. "Trust me on this."
"Plus, she can't suck my dick if she passes the fuck out."
"No," I said, disturbed by the fact that such comments were so commonplace in the sex obsessed shithole I lived in. "And you don't want to give the girls in her house any reason to distrust you cause that shit spreads faster than the clap around here."
"Got it," he said.
I tucked my shirt in and walked to the dresser drawer that had my modest collection of belt buckles in it.
"Damn, Shane. Where did you get those?"
"Salvation Army," I said, throwing them around until I found the one with the galloping stallion.
"Can I borrow one?"
"Sure."
Kevin set his hats on the dresser and compared the one with the crossed pistols to the mean looking eagle. "Hmm."
I slung my belt through the loops, fastened it, and unbuttoned an extra button at the top of my shirt.
"I think I’ll go with the pistols if that's okay with you."
"Cool," I said, sitting on the bed next to where I’d set out my black cowboy boots. “I hope they bring you lots of luck."
"Thanks," Kevin said, moving towards the door. "Who are you taking by the way?"
"Andi," I said, reaching for the black cowboy hat in the middle of my unmade bed.
He furrowed his brow. "Andi Andi?"
"The one and only."
"I didn't think she was into this stuff?"
"I think it’s Greek life she's not keen on," I said. "But she can't resist a costume party."
"I guess I could see that," he said. "Especially considering your sister is her best friend."
I swallowed.
"Are you guys-"
I raised my eyebrows. "What?"
"Hooking up or-?"
"How about you let me worry about that and you focus on Brittney."
"That's a yes if I ever heard one."
"We're not actually." Yet. But it's not like I was going to tell Kevin I’d been obsessed by the idea all week.
"So is she fair game then or-?"
"No. She's definitely not fucking fair game-"
"Whoa, chill out. I'm only asking because Tyler's taking his younger cousin who's visiting this weekend, and he's always got an inappropriate word to say about Andi."
"What are you taking about?"
"You know, stupid stuff," he said. "I'd keep an eye on him is all."
"Always do," I said. "I wouldn't trust that guy to cook a Hot Pocket, much less leave him alone with my date."
"He is the slimiest. How did he even get in the house?"
"Legacy bullshit. His dad was the president his senior year."
"Ah. That explains it." Kevin pulled the door open.
"Hey- who won the poker tournament yesterday?" I asked.
"Tyler," he said, stepping into the hall. "Because you weren't there."
"Right."
"I thought you were gonna show?"
"There was one online I couldn't miss-"
"How'd it go?" he asked.
"Came out four ahead."
Kevin's eyebrows jumped. "Four thousand?"
"You know it," I said, putting my hat on.
"How do you do it?"
"Patience," I said. "And timing."
"Fuck me," he said, shaking his head.
"The bus is here!" A voice called from downstairs. "Get your asses outside or get left behind."
"See you on the bus," Kevin said.
I nodded and watched him shut the door.
Then I walked over to the window and pulled the curtain to the side.
The yellow school bus was parked in the fire lane outside the house, and the sidewalk was crawling with sorority girls who looked like they were headed to a Dukes of Hazzard casting call.
My stomach felt like a mouth full of pop rocks as I eagerly anticipated Andi's arrival.
After all, I hadn't seen her all week, and tonight was important.
It was vital that I get my head straight so I could make her feel at ease so far outside her comfort zone and, most importantly, so I didn’t miss my chance to pick things up where we’d left off.
And I knew she would look beautiful when she showed up. She always did. But I underestimated the feeling I'd have in my guts when I first saw her come around the corner in her barn dance get up.
She was walking down the street on her own, the only girl who wasn't linked arm in arm with a bunch of others as she made her way towards the house.
Her tan cowboy boots showed off the toned legs that stuck out from the bottom of her short jean skirt, and she was in low braided pigtails that hung down over the front of her shoulders.
And I felt the strangest sensation sweep over me.
Because even though everyone was dressed up like country cowgirls and boys, I could’ve sworn it felt like Christmas morning.
Chapter 21: Andi
I should've let Steph walk with me.
She offered, but I was too proud to admit how nervous I was about having to wheedle my way into a throng of close knit sorority girls.
I wasn't worried about the guys. I'd spent enough time freshman and sophomore year with Shane that most of them at least recognized me.
But the girls were another thing entirely, and while I hoped Shane wouldn't be able to sense my anxiety, I hoped even more that he wouldn't leave me alone with them for too long.
And just as I was crossing the street towards the school bus, he stepped out of the mob onto the grass along the curb, his gaze fixed right on me, as if
he'd seen me coming from a mile away.
He was in black boots and a black hat and his shirt had ribbons of forest green running through it, just like his eyes. I swear if he’d asked me right then to run away and live on a ranch in Montana with him, I would've said yes.
It was a ridiculous idea, of course, but we certainly looked the part.
"You look handsome," I said, smiling as he stepped up to me.
"And you look like the sexiest cowgirl I've ever seen."
"I'd take that as a compliment if I thought you’d ever actually seen one."
One corner of his mouth curled up. "You'd be surprised."
I raised my eyebrows.
"Nice pigtails, by the way."
"I did it to fit in," I said. "Not so you would get the wrong idea."
"Too late," he said, his eyes flashing. Then he leaned forward to whisper in my ear. "But don't worry. I'll only pull them if you want me to."
"I should think so," I said, my voice full of false calm and my nose full of his intoxicating cologne.
Fuck. Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to this.
"Come on," he said. "Let's get a seat on the bus."
He grabbed my hand in his and led the way, my feelings of awkwardness pulverized by the confidence his touch gave me.
I followed him towards the back of the bus, past countless seats that were already occupied by people in their giddy up and go gear.
When he stopped at a seat towards the back, I happily scooted in.
He sat down and faced forward, his gorgeous jean covered thighs like a wall between me and the alien culture around me.
"So," I said. "Where exactly does this barn dance go down?"
"Some dude’s farm. About forty five minutes from campus."
"Cool."
"Thanks again for coming,” he said. “I've really been looking forward to tonight."
I stuck my hands under my thighs and pressed my knees together before looking at him. "Thanks. Me, too."
"I'm glad you trust me to show you a good time."
"Of course."
"Did you tell Izzy you were coming or-?"
I shook my head. "No. You?”
"No," he said. "I thought we might just-"
I raised my eyebrows. "Just what?"
"Shane!" a voice called from the front of the bus.
He lifted his head up to shout back at the guy. "What?"
"Your help is needed in the keg transportation department."
Shane turned to me. "I'll be right back." Then he gripped the seat in front of us to pull himself up and raised his eyebrows at me. "Save my seat?"
"Unless I get a better offer."
He nodded and took off, knowing as well as I did that a better seatmate was unlikely to present itself.
I turned to look out the window. Across the street, a small group of frolfers were frisbeeing their way around an open green space.
And I didn't mean to start eavesdropping on the girls behind me, but their conversation was just too juicy.
Plus, it seemed a safer bet than dwelling on the inexplicable magnetism of Shane's ridiculous belt buckle… and where it might lead.
"So this is, like, so messed up you're going to die," the girl behind me said to her seatmate in a strong Chicago accent.
"Go on," the other girl said.
"So the older girls told our pledge class that they were going to take us away to some lake house to celebrate the fact that we got picked to be in the house.”
"Cool."
"Right? But the night we got there, they gave us this big speech about how- if we wanted to be Thetas- we had big shoes to fill and a good reputation to maintain."
"Sure," her seatmate said.
"So get this. One of the prettiest girls in the house takes off her shirt, and another girl takes a marker to her and starts circling parts of her body that the girl needs to work on. You know, like the back of her arms and where her love handles would be if she even had any."
"Oh. My god."
"And then they tell us that we're all going to be subjected to the same treatment."
Her seatmate gasped. "No!"
"Yeah. For real."
"So did you get your fat circled, too? In front of everyone?"
"Just listen. So when the first pledge is about to take her shirt off, the doorbell rings, and all the upperclassmen go, ‘Just kidding! Pizza party!’"
"Fuck me."
"Isn't that hilarious?" Chicago asked.
"I feel sick," the other girl said.
"They got us good."
Her seatmate laughed nervously. "They got you alright."
"I thought it was fucked up at the time," Chicago said. "But we all laugh about it now."
Her friend scoffed. "Except for the girls that still think about that night every time they puke up their pizza."
Chicago went quiet.
I was so relieved they were behind me because there was no way I would've been able to hide the shock on my face.
And I couldn't wait to tell Izzy. Or could I?
Would I have to lie about the setting? And what was Shane about to say? I mean, he obviously hadn't told her either.
I pushed a stray wisp of hair out of my eyes.
His failure to mention this to her could only mean one thing- that he knew this was wrong.
After all, there was no way he hadn't talked to Izzy since last weekend. And I had, too.
But neither of us said a word.
Because we knew the truth.
We shouldn't have kissed, shouldn't have liked it, and we certainly shouldn't have been going on what- for all intents and purposes- was basically a secret date.
And yet, if letting him kiss me again like he had last weekend was wrong, I didn't want to be right.
He was so tender, so strong, and he made me feel so bright and safe and treasured.
If only he were someone else, someone it would be okay to feel that way about.
But I wasn't disciplined enough to make myself stay away.
The feelings I had for him just had to be investigated, like the first time a child sees a candle and can't help but put their finger near the flame.
Because even a kid knows getting burned is more interesting than playing it safe.
Chapter 22: Shane
Andi had never looked so good, and I was having a hard time remembering that we were friends.
But there was a strange feeling in the air between us that made me think she wasn't struggling the same way.
I could tell she was a little out of her comfort zone- just as Izzy warned me she would be. But I wished she could see herself the way I did- as the coolest, smartest, sexiest girl on the bus.
I couldn't just say that, though. When it came to such matters, words were insufficient. Only actions could get the message across.
And that was fine by me because I was ready to show her the time of her life.
I watched her admire the sunset out her window, the curve of her cheekbone against the yellow and pink swirls in the sky. I noticed how she squeezed her hands between her thighs and wished they were my hands…
Would she let me touch her there? Would she let me see that side of her? The side I always ignored for my own sanity?
I hoped so.
Because sanity didn't interest me anymore.
I was much more interested in watching her face as she let go. I wanted to see her lips fall apart and her eyes go dark with pleasure.
"So what were you going to say before we left?" she asked, turning towards me as the bus hit a pothole. "About why you didn't tell Izzy you asked me?"
Fuck. Well that answered the question about where her head was at.
She raised her eyebrows. "Well?"
