by Sarah Morgan
‘For what? That is the first time I’ve seen you that enthusiastic since that first night we met.’ And he didn’t look bored. He looked interested and he asked me a few questions that proved he was as bright as he was spectacular looking. ‘I’m pleased it’s working out. So NASA isn’t going to get you yet.’
I blushed, thinking about that awful dinner when everyone had talked about their hopes for the future and I’d confessed I wanted to work for NASA. Charlie had mocked me (I think his exact words were ‘Apollo Hayley—God help us all’). It wasn’t ladylike to be interested in rockets and jet propulsion (although frankly, since that hot encounter with Nico at the wedding I’d though of nothing but thrust, and not the sort taught by physics teachers.)
I changed the subject. ‘Tell me the history of the tattoo.’
He drank his coffee and for a moment I thought he wasn’t going to answer.
Then he put his mug down. ‘We moved from Sicily to London when I was ten. My English was terrible and—’ he dismissed it all with a shrug ‘—let’s just say school was hell, so I stayed away.’
‘Really? I imagined you being a straight-A student.’
‘That part came later. Back then, I was out of control.’
I eyed the tattoo wrapped round hard bulge of his bicep. ‘So that was that when—?’
‘That and other things.’ His tone was flat. ‘I was sixteen when my father died and Kiara was taken into foster care. I argued that I was her only family and that we should be together. Of course no one listened.’
I put my fork down, knowing how I’d felt when my parents had tried to separate Rosie and me. ‘What did you do?’
‘I grew up. I worked out what sort of job would make sure I got Kiara back and decided I had to be a lawyer because they earned good money and knew how to argue.’ His smile mocked himself. ‘I went back to school and worked every hour of every day. I got a scholarship to a top school. I was a social experiment—kid with a brain but no income, let’s give that a try.’
‘That must have been tough.’
‘Tough was seeing my sister in a foster home. But they were kind people and they helped both of us.’
‘And you did it. You made a life for both of you.’ I mentally compared him to my dad, who’d left us. ‘You did a great job. She’s confident and charming and thinks you’re the best.’ It explained the bond I saw and the respect she showed him.
‘It was hard letting her move into an apartment with her friends.’
‘Independence is a good thing. And I’m glad you did,’ I said softly, ‘or we wouldn’t be on our own now.’
His eyes met mine and then he stood up and pulled me to my feet.
‘Let’s make the most of it.’
We didn’t leave the apartment for five days. Most of that time was spent in bed having amazing sex, but also talking and laughing as we swapped stories.
I told him about the time I’d built a rocket in the kitchen and made a hole in the ceiling. He told me how he’d blown up the toilets in school using sodium taken from an unlocked chemistry lab.
I still couldn’t believe how much this cool, controlled guy had hidden in his past. I was thirsty to know more. Favorite band, favorite drink, best place he’d visited… ‘Tell me your most embarrassing moment ever.’
He rolled onto his side and looked at me from under those thick, dark lashes. ‘I once went to this wedding where the bridesmaid burst out of her dress—’
Laughing, I pushed him onto his back and straddled him. My hair slid forward, covering us both. ‘If that hadn’t happened we wouldn’t be here.’
‘Yes, we would.’ His hands were in my hair. ‘But I was planning to make my move after the wedding, not during. I was going to persuade you to cry on my shoulder.’
‘I’m not much of a crier.’ I lowered my head and kissed him, my mouth lingering on his. ‘You’re so sexy. Say something to me in Italian.’
‘Pizza Margherita.’
I giggled, but the crazy thing was he even managed to make that sound sexy.
My phone beeped. I ignored it.
‘Say something else.’
‘Il mio vestito è strappato.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘My dress has torn.’
And I was laughing. Laughing in bed with a guy I wanted to know more about. I wanted to know everything, and finally I reached across to read my text from Rosie: five days in bed with the same guy isn’t emotionless sex.
And I stopped laughing and realized with a flash of panic that I wasn’t supposed to want to know more. Emotionless, unattached sex should be exactly that, but somehow over the past five days I’d managed to form an attachment.
I was in trouble.
Chapter Nine
‘This is your fault.’ I stopped eating Nutella out of the jar and poked the spoon towards my sister. ‘You invited him here for Christmas.’
‘Yes. Christmas! I didn’t expect you to go home with him and stay until Easter. I was about to report you to the police as a missing person. What the hell did you do for five days?’
I grinned and she rolled her eyes.
‘Really? So he’s even hotter than he looks. Way to go.’
I abandoned the comfort eating and slumped back against the sofa. ‘I promised myself I was done with misery.’
‘Sex with him was miserable?’
‘No, it was incredible! But now I can’t stop thinking about him. Crap.’
And it wasn’t just the sex I was thinking about. I kept picturing the way he looked asleep—those lashes shadowing his cheeks, strands of dark hair sliding across his forehead. I thought about the hours we’d spent talking. The things I’d told him. Things I hadn’t told anyone else.
I’d discovered intimacy wasn’t just about getting naked with someone.
Bathed in panic, I sprang to my feet. ‘It was supposed to be just sex. Emotionless sex.’
‘Right. Emotionless sex that lasted five days.’
I paced across the living room and then turned to her, desperate. ‘What am I going to do? I need to forget him straight away and move on.’
‘Is that really what you want?’
‘Absolutely. Definitely. No emotional involvement.’ I didn’t tell her I was worried I was too late for that, but she probably knew because she stared at me for a moment and then sighed.
‘OK, well, the good news is that it isn’t New Year for another six hours, so you haven’t blown your resolution. You can start fresh at one minute past midnight. I’ve got VIP tickets to The Skyline. Tonight we are going to party.’
‘The Skyline?’ It was my turn to stare. ‘How did you manage that? Their New Year’s Eve parties are legendary.’
‘I meet a lot of people at the gym.’ My sister looked smug. ‘We will have a great time and you can forget all about him.’
I knew I wasn’t going to forget all about him.
I wanted to ask if she’d really forgotten He Who Must Not Be Named, but I didn’t dare. ‘Will anyone we know be there?’
‘Yes, a whole group of us and you are going to hold your head up high and wear your favorite black dress because it makes you look fabulous.’
‘Great. Let’s do it.’ I ignored the part of me that just wanted to be back in Nico’s apartment. ‘It will be my first public appearance since I exposed myself (I didn’t count Christmas). Might as well make it high profile.’
I did love my black dress. It had tiny crystals sewn into the fabric and shimmered when it caught the light. I’d found it in a charity shop in Notting Hill, otherwise I never would have been able to afford the label. It was brand new. Still had the tags on it. The owner told me that the woman who had brought it in had fallen in love with it and bought it, intending to slim into it. Fortunately for me, she hadn’t.
Rosie was right. It was the perfect dress for tonight.
I presumed my lack of excitement was caused by the prospect of meeting so many people who had seen me half-naked.
‘We’re going to get ready together like we always do, and while we’re doing that you can tell me everything.’
And because she was my sister and this was what we did, I did tell her everything. How it had felt. How I had felt. And how I felt now, which was totally crap if I was honest.
Getting ready to go out together should have been fun. Rosie opened a bottle of champagne left over from Christmas, but it reminded me so much of being with Nico.
‘Are you nearly ready?’ My sister was wearing a velvet skater dress with mesh at the sides and no back that looked perfect on her toned body. Her blonde hair was loose around her shoulders, a little messy, but that made it all the sexier. She wore a pair of vertiginous heels on the ends of those incredible, kick-boxing legs.
I blinked. ‘Wow.’
‘Wow yourself.’ She eyed me and smiled. ‘I predict emotionless sex will begin at five seconds past midnight. Let’s go. The cab is here.’
I wished I could have felt more excited about the night ahead. It might have been easier had the cab not taken the exact route along the river Nico had taken when he’d driven me to his apartment on Christmas Day.
‘This is where he lives.’
‘In Chelsea?’ Rosie craned her neck. ‘Colour me impressed.’
She would have been even more impressed if she’d known how hard he’d worked to get to this point and all the sacrifices he’d made for his sister, but I wasn’t ready to talk about any of it. Nor was I supposed to be talking about Nico.
We arrived at The Skyline and took the glass elevator to the top floor.
The views of London were incredible and everyone was in party mood. Everyone except me.
Rosie handed our coats over and frowned at me. ‘You OK?’
‘Great!’
We saw a crowd of our friends and joined them. The ones who hadn’t accepted invitations to the wedding (because Charlie had alienated most of them) wanted to know if the rumors were true. Naturally when they heard that they were, they all wished they’d been there to ‘support’ me. Yeah, right.
‘Nice one, Hayley.’ Grinning, Rob put his arm round my shoulders and suddenly I was grateful for my friends. Friends were like shock absorbers. They made the bumps hurt less.
I saw Rosie watching me and tried to look as if I was having a good time, but of course she knew I wasn’t.
‘You’ll forget him in time,’ she murmured, handing me another glass of champagne. ‘You wake up every day and one day you’ll find it’s stopped hurting.’
‘Is that what happened with you and Hunter?’
Oh, God, I’d said his name. I’d gone five years without slipping up and now it had tumbled out.
I was dead.
My sister was going to kill me, right here on the dance floor on New Year’s Eve.
I stood rigid, not knowing where to begin with my apology, when Rosie leaned in and hugged me.
‘If he walked back into my life right now this minute, I wouldn’t even notice him.’ She whispered the words in my ear and then tapped her glass against mine and drank. And drank. And then helped herself to another glass and drank that, too.
I was about to point out that if Hunter walked back into her life now there was no chance of her noticing him because she’d be unconscious, but she slammed down her empty glass and grabbed my hand.
‘Sister time. Let’s dance.’
We loved dancing together. Considering what she could do with those legs of hers, Rosie was quite restrained. Half the men in the room were looking at her. Quite a few of the others were looking at me, but I was glad to be dancing with my sister. To be honest, I wasn’t interested.
Then I looked up and saw him standing in the doorway.
Nico Rossi.
He hadn’t seen me, but he was looking round the room, searching for someone. He was wearing a suit. It looked like the Tom Ford, only this time his shirt was black. As always he looked smoking hot, even more so now I knew how it felt to be with him.
An explosion of excitement and joy was followed by blinding panic.
I didn’t think I was up to seeing him spend New Year’s Eve picking up another woman and already I could see heads turning because he was the sort of guy who eclipsed every other man in the room without even trying.
I was in such a sorry state I didn’t even realize I’d stopped dancing until Rosie took my arm and hauled me off the dance floor and behind a pillar.
‘I have to get out of here,’ I babbled. ‘I’m really sorry to ruin your evening, but I’m going home.’
The music was throbbing and pounding and I saw her lips move, but I couldn’t hear her and she rolled her eyes and dragged me out onto the terrace where everyone would gather to watch fireworks over the Thames at midnight.
‘Breathe.’
‘I’m going to grab a cab.’
‘You are not leaving.’
‘I have to.’
‘Why?’
‘Because—’ I breathed and sent clouds into the freezing air. ‘Because I can’t bear to watch him picking up another woman. I can’t bear to think of him with someone else.’
‘And doesn’t that tell you something?’
‘Yes! It tells me I totally fucked up my New Year’s Resolution before the first chime of the clock!’
‘So maybe you should rethink your resolution.’
I thought of all the pain and agony that went with relationships. The hope and then the horrible let-down. ‘No. I’m just not putting myself through that again.’
‘Through what? You just spent five days in bed with the guy. Five days. You laughed. You talked. He listened to you, which is more than Charlie ever did. He likes you for God’s sake—’
‘He’s come here because he’s looking for a date.’
‘He’s looking for you.’ She said it quietly. ‘Hayley, this super-hot guy is walking across the room right now looking for you and you are not going to hide.’
‘I’ll mess it up. Look what happened with Charlie.’
‘Charlie is a dickhead,’ Rose said calmly. ‘You picked him because— Well, frankly I don’t know why you picked him. We both know that when it comes to relationships our psychology is a bit warped, but he was totally wrong for you and Nico isn’t. You two have something. Don’t throw that away.’
‘He probably isn’t looking for me. I’m leaving and if you love me you’ll let me go.’ I winced as her hand locked around my wrist. Honestly, if the police ever ran short on handcuffs they could use my sister.
‘I love you,’ she said sweetly, ‘which is why I am not letting you go. I’m not going to let you blow this.’
‘I’m scared.’
‘Yeah. I get all that. But it’s OK to be scared, as long as you do it anyway.’
I thought about pointing out she hadn’t done it since Mr You Know Who had broken her heart in two, but I decided that mentioning his name twice in one evening after five years of silence on the subject was a risk I wasn’t prepared to take. And anyway, this was my panic. I didn’t want to share it. ‘He’ll mess me up.’
‘Maybe he won’t.’
I’d never heard my sister sound so serious. ‘What’s happened to you? You were the one who thought my New Year’s resolution was a good one.’
‘That was before I saw you with him.’ She took a deep breath and smiled. ‘If you run away from Nico Rossi then you are batshit crazy.’
I made a sound that was halfway between a laugh and a sob and saw Nico standing in the doorway. Those dark eyes were fixed on my face and he didn’t glance left or right at the women who were staring at him hopefully.
Rosie released my wrist and my blood had a silent party, relieved to finally be able to flow around uninterrupted. ‘Excuse me. There’s a good dance floor going to waste,’ she murmured and slid past him with a smile.
Nico nodded to her, his gaze still fixed on me.
There was nowhere I could go. I was trapped on the terrace and now I was shivering. It had stopped snowing, but t
he air was freezing.
He strolled across to me, removed his jacket and draped it around my shoulders. ‘I thought you might be in need of a jacket.’
It felt warm and familiar and smelt like him. My tummy tensed. I was terrified I was going to give away how I was feeling. It had just been sex. I’d broken our rules. I felt like a snail without its protective shell, exposed and just waiting to be crushed under someone’s heavy boot.
‘What are you doing here?’
‘I came to find you.’ He sounded so sure and confident. ‘There are things I need to say. Preferably before the clock strikes midnight.’
‘Why? Does your Ferrari turn into a pumpkin at midnight?’
He didn’t smile. He was too focused on me. ‘I was ready to ask you out when you started going out with Charlie.’
Sound and people washed past me. I was oblivious to all of them. ‘You were?’
‘I told you I was ready to cross the room and talk to you, but I wasn’t fast enough and for that I had to suffer watching you with him for ten long months. And then I had to watch you afterwards, coping with the fact he’d screwed your friend.’ A muscle flickered in his jaw. ‘Seeing you with him was like watching a car crash in slow motion. I just wanted to push you out of the way before you were crushed by it.’
‘Nico—’
‘He undermined you at every possible opportunity. That night in the restaurant when he put you down in front of everyone—’ His voice was thick with anger and I wondered how I could ever have thought him cool and controlled. With me he was anything but.
‘He didn’t like me talking about work,’ I muttered. ‘He found it boring, especially on a night out.’
‘Hayley, you threatened him. He wanted to be with someone who made him feel bigger, not an equal. He put you down and instead of bouncing up you stayed down. He stopped you being you.’
It was true. ‘But that was my fault. I was trying to make it work.’
