Joss jumps right in and lights up. “I know! Glow sticks. We’ll buy tons of glow sticks and put them in the water. I’ve always wanted to do that.”
“You’re a genius, Joss, you know that?”
“That’s why I’m going to find a cure for cancer. Or at least help save a ton of lives.” She looks down at her hands and breaks open.
I sit down next to her on the end of Teddy's bed.
In a small, tear strained voice, she says, “My mom. Three years ago.”
I wrap my arms around her. She melts against me as if she’s needed this hug for far too long.
Joss says, “I miss her every day.” She reaches her hand to the tattoo on her wrist. "She used to always give me the I love you symbol.” Joss shows me with her fingers. “It was our thing. It’s easier being here than in Canada. Fewer reminders, most of the time. It’s just something I have to live with, y'know?”
I don’t, not at all. I hold her hand.
Teddy gives us a group hug and then claps his hands together. “Not to be insensitive, but we have work to do party people.”
Joss playfully whacks him with his notebook and then scans his scrawl. Something tells me they’ve drunk a bottle of wine and filled it back up with tears over the topic of Joss losing her mom. I'm seeing that there are more dimensions to my best friend and Joss by the minute.
“That’s quite the campaign you have there, captain. We’re doing this tonight, right?” Joss asks, scanning the pages.
“I’ve been planning this party since junior high. Just never thought I’d actually do it. We're totally going to pull this off,” he says.
Teddy calls Augie for the beverages. Joss leaves for the store and picks up cups, ice, and other supplies all in Puckett purple and gold.
“I thought you had a general hatred toward Puckett,” I say to Teddy as we put away a few of Mrs. Westing's valuables.
“Willa, we’re leaving. It’s only right to say a proper goodbye. And it's practically my birthday. I can do what I want. It's a shame more people don't wear purple and gold, though. Those colors pair nicely together. I finally have the opportunity to show everyone that.”
We burst into laughter.
“Come help me get the projector set up,” Teddy orders.
“You’re nuts, you know that?” I say lovingly.
“Nutsballs, but this is going to be one helluva party.”
I scoot back home and stuff a slice of leftover pizza in my mouth while I root through the pantry for cake mix. Fortunately, I find three. Three different flavors. And three different shaped pans, but Teddy won’t care. As quickly as possible, I whip up the batter and set the timer on my phone.
Back at Teddy’s, he hollers, “Ladies, there's no time to waste. We have to get the photo booth set up. Chop, chop.”
He passes me a box of fake mustaches. “I have all the cheesy and fabulous props,” he promises.
Once we have the streamers hung, purple and gold, naturally, Augie rolls in a keg. “The back of my brother’s truck is loaded. You guys have a couple coolers?” he asks.
Fitzy & Harry, the older Parker brothers, wave at us from the truck. The former sits behind the wheel and the latter sports a face of scruff. They both look stoked to be amidst the mischief. "Summertime and the living is easy," one of them shouts.
“I have an idea.” I run home and dig through the garage until I find my old kiddie pool.
When I get back, the beer is stacked on the back deck and Joss smiles. “Good one. We just need more ice.”
“I’m on it,” Augie says.
I rush up to him before he leaves. “Could you score a box of sparklers?” I hand him a wad of cash.
“Just one box?”
“Get as many as you can.” I wipe the sweat from my forehead as he pulls away. Even as the sun dips low in the sky, it’s still sweltering as we rush around.
By the time the in-ground swimming pool starts to glow in the twilight, we have everything ready. I rush home to check the cakes; I’ll have to construct some kind of modern art confectionary sculpture given the mismatched shapes.
First, I go take a shower. The water runs cool over my shoulders. I think about Joss, over at Teddy’s and the pleasant tension running between us today. I’m sweaty almost as soon as I get out and instead of throwing my clothes back on, I slip into my bikini, a pair of cut offs, and stash Teddy's present in my pocket.
Joss pokes her head through the screen back door. “What are you—?” She gapes at my cake creation, making sense of the buxom shape. “He’s going to love it.”
“That’s the plan.”
Even though I mangled the right foot, I managed to fashion the cake into a rather voluptuous female a la one of Teddy’s sculpted ladies. She’s milk-chocolate brown with strawberry frosting for hair because that’s all that I could find in the pantry.
Joss stands close to me, studying how I spread the icing on the pillow-y cake. Then she licks my shoulder. “You had some, there,” she says.
I shudder with an urgent need to kiss her, but my phone jingles, interrupting.
“I just need one more thing. Did you see Augie over there?” I ask, glancing at my phone.
She shakes her head.
“It’s just my mom.” I pick up. After we say hi and bye, with no mention of the festivities over at the Westing's, I glance at a list of missed texts. Most of them are about the party, but Grady's name is farther down. So bummed. Family thing tonight. I’ll try to break free later.
I’m temporarily relieved, but there's no time to think about that because I have a birthday to celebrate.
When the cake is just short of perfect, Joss and I go next door to survey the scene. Half the senior class already gathers in the back. The movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off projects onto the side of the house. I imagine we’ll screen the gamut of John Hughes’ films before the night is over. They’re Teddy’s favorites. I've seen them all three times each, at least. The sound is off and music plays on the Westing’s rarely used stereo system. Then at just the right moment, during the scene when it's clear Ferris took a day off, everyone suddenly chants, in the economic teacher’s monotone, “Bueller, Bueller, Bueller…”
Teddy smiles broadly. Laughter and hooting ensues and the party resumes.
This could be epic.
I run into Augie, who almost sends me careening into the pool, which would be dangerous only because it's nearly at capacity.
“I got the stuff,” he says, conspiratorially.
Joss plays DJ, but after the next song starts, I tug her back to my house.
“Can you carry that side of the cake,” I ask, poking two sparklers into the frosted lady’s hands.
Joss looks at me expectantly. Her lips look delicious. She closes the space between us in two steps and clutches my face in her hands, drawing me near. She tastes fizzy, sweet, and smooth.
After the laughter and shouting next door goes from loud to louder, I say, “I should bring—” Kiss. “Teddy—” Kiss. “His cake.” Kiss.
We reluctantly pull apart. We each take a side and carefully maneuver the dark driveway back next door. I spot Rosa and ask her to get Teddy's attention while I light the sparklers.
When we round to the back of the house, I start to sing. The Clearwaters and Rosa, Annie Lemon, Andrew, Asher, Hansel, Gretel, Augie, Fitzy, and everyone, possibly even the neighborhood cats and dogs, join up in song. In a way it's like we're not only wishing Teddy a happy birthday, but also congratulating him on giving life to his dreams, no matter how far out of reach—going to RISD—and privately, I'm congratulating him for accepting himself no matter how challenging and confusing.
When I reach him, he staggers a little. Because of the beer or sentiment, I’m not sure.
“Sparklers instead of candles, so that guarantees your wish will come true,” I say.
He squeezes his eyes shut and then blows on the sparklers. They still sparkle. He plucks them out of the cake and waves them in the air. Meanwhil
e the sizzle of more sparklers light up the night. I can thank Augie for that. Whoops and laughter join the happy birthday chorus.
Heather takes the other side of the cake from me as Teddy wraps me in a hug. Then he sways and we both flop into the pool with a big splash. As I bob to the surface, I have a warm feeling that tells me this is a night that I never want to leave. I’m certain there’s magic in us all.
A couple of guys lift a sopping Teddy onto their shoulders and I spot Joss. Wearing only her underwear and a hot pink bra, she cannonballs into the pool and swims over to me.
“Where were we?” she asks. The night shadows and neon glow sticks alternatingly make her glimmer and vanish. She’s so beautiful and so is this feeling, whatever it is.
I forget that I’m a girl and so is she and what that might mean in a crowd. I forget the locker room comments. There are only Joss’s lips and our shared desire as we kiss in the open. Fingers fumble under straps and then we’re sinking underwater.
After we come up for air, I remember the party. Joss chats with someone while I dry off. Heather rushes over to me, her hair wet and spikey.
“This party is so amazing,” she gushes.
I fill her in on the afternoon and how we pulled it off.
“Wait, you’re not drunk?” she asks, swaying a little.
“Nope.”
Her smile vanishes. “But I saw you and Joss. I figured—” She fails to hide her surprise.
I take a deep breath, venturing to confess something that only Teddy and Guzzi know; my semi-secret safe with the former because I kept his not-secret for so many years and the latter, because he’s probably already in another state. The girls in the locker room don't count. They don't know what they're talking about. But the right words elude me. I don’t know how to define what Joss and I have, all I know is I want more.
“Joss and I have been hanging out,” I say.
“Out—out?” she asks. “No judgment. I mean it’s cool. But what about Grady—?” Joss appears.
“Hey, H,” Joss says lazily, ending the conversation, at least for now.
Heather stiffens and her smile doesn't reappear even when Sherman slides up from behind and wraps his arms around her. He whispers something in her ear. She giggles with flirtatious protests.
“We're going in,” he says, shuffling her toward the pool.
“I should probably go check on things,” I say, thankful for an exit from having to explain more. Just then, Augie and his brothers roll up in the truck with a giant trampoline half-hanging out of the back.
“Oh my.” The responsible part of me wants to caution against what I imagine is going to happen with the trampoline and the pool, but Teddy, for the first time in a while, smiles and laughs away his burdens. He's done a lot of growing up in the last couple of weeks and for tonight, he gets to be young, possibly for the last time. My vision blurs and my lip quivers.
I linger around the pool, making sure no one sustains a head wound, when Jaze appears. He’s built like a linebacker or whichever position it is that requires the player resembles a brick wall. I want to leap across the pool and intervene, but he and Teddy nod at each other knowingly, exchange a few words, and then disappear into the shadows.
Every cell in my body urges me to Teddy’s aid, because who knows what that ignorato will say, but Joss pulls me around the back of the house and then we’re inside.
Mrs. Westing is probably lying in her hotel bed, awake, wondering why she can't stop worrying about water rings on her coffee table and fingerprints on the stainless steel appliances. Her house is in utter disarray. I almost can’t be in here, not because of the mess, but because I’m scared for Teddy despite what he and Joss said about how the fun before the consequences is what makes the party worth it. I can't imagine what it would be like not to have my parents' support.
Joss leads me down the hall where it’s quieter and I leave my worries behind. The spare bedroom is miraculously empty.
Joss leaps onto the bed and bounces.
I close the door and then throw open the window in the stuffy room and shout, “Happy Birthday, Teddy!” I join Joss on the bed and we toss the pillows across the room. We both scream with glee before collapsing onto the mattress.
Joss rests on her side and plays with a strand of my hair before running her fingers down my arm, across my bare belly, and then up to my bikini top. The noise overflowing from the party is muted, drawing attention to the pounding of my heart, which I'm sure can also be heard all the way outside. We slip into the familiar and kiss and kiss and kiss until we’re both tugging off our remaining clothing, confirming we each want more.
"Is this your first time?" she asks.
Again, I don't answer her with words; my kiss is my affirmation. My fingers tremble, but Joss’s nipping my chest and then she travels down, washing my mind of thought. Acting on instinct and urgency, we fill each other with pure bliss.
Afterward, we lay there, splayed on the bed, heated from the sultry night. She rolls over and lies close to me. I do the same and with my finger in her hand, she traces a line down to her outie belly button. Our eyes meet.
A bang against the door startles us and we both scramble for our clothing, giggling.
We sit on the steps at the back of Teddy’s house.
The stars twinkle and the moon is pregnant with light. “It’s beautiful,” I say, filled with wonder and the sinking sense of impending loss. My jaw tremors and my eyes moisten again. I don’t let Joss see. There will never be another night like this. I don’t want to grow up and live a boring life or struggle like my parents did. I cling to this feeling—like when watching fireworks, that moment between the boom and fizzle when we hold our collective breath in awe—and want to brand it into my skin like Joss's tattoo.
“Anything is possible,” I whisper to acknowledge this moment.
After a pause, Joss says, “You've never told me what comes next for you.”
My answer is out of my mouth before I think about it. “That’s because I’m not sure.”
I also didn’t answer her question about whether I’m a virgin, but those thoughts are all too big for right now.
Fireflies dance in the dark night, bringing the memory of Grady's promise to give me fireworks writing G + W.
Wrapped up in the afterglow with Joss, we wander back to the party.
The house phone rings. Before I have a chance to intercept it, Teddy answers. His drawl is a thick slur, “Rowdy. Rowdy? No, I mean howdy. Hiya. Hello.” He cracks himself up. "Have you ever spent a day walking backwards?" Another laugh comes at the end of his drawl. Even though he hasn't been leaving me messages, these have you evers are original. "Have you ever eaten a piece of pie, crust first?" He's on a roll. Then he's silent for the span of a sentence or two. "Have you ever considered taking your head out of your ass? I won't be talking to you later."
Oh, shit.
His expression spins like a disco ball and then he laughs until he forgets the phone, letting it slide onto the sofa cushion and down to the floor. I pick it up as it beeps an angry dial tone and follow him outside.
“He said I’m grounded.” Teddy laughs maniacally then looks at me. “Dude, I’m untouchable. There’s nothing he can say or do that will make me someone else; that will make me shrink from whom I am or what I aim to do. I want to make people happy, make them feel celebrated and beautiful. I want—” Then he turns to barf in a potted plant.
“Okay, my dear,” I say, when I’m sure he’s done, “it’s time to lie down.”
“I want to sleep in the backyard. Is there a tent somewhere?” Teddy drawls.
Shortly after, the party begins to clear out. I grab a couple pillows and a quilt from upstairs. There’s no sign of Joss or Heather. Teddy leans on me while I lead him back outside.
“Where we goin’, Willa?”
I laugh. “To the place of dreams, my friendling.”
I guide him onto the trampoline and spread the blanket out.
He's
quiet for longer than ninety-seconds so I assume he's passed out.
"Hey Willa," he says. "Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a walrus?"
I giggle.
"Have you ever mailed a letter to yourself on purpose?"
I roll over, studying him. His eyes are closed and his voice sleepy.
"Have you ever sat on someone you thought was a chair?"
"Guess I don't have to call you back this time," I whisper. I prop a pillow under his head and we fall asleep under the stars.
Chapter Twenty
☼
Wednesday
When I blink my eyes open, I remember why Teddy groans next to me. I’m thankful I remained sober and sensible. Sort of. My thoughts hop from the party to Joss.
The air is already thick with heat and the sky a dull shade of pewter, doing nothing to motivate me from my spot on the trampoline.
Eventually, a need for water makes me scramble down. I survey the damage. Teddy slings his arm over his eyes. “Is it bad?” Apparently, his memory of the night before wasn’t lost.
“Devastation. Wreckage. The ruins of an epic night.” Chairs are overturned, bottles and cups litter every surface and on the ground, and there are a few stragglers still passed out in various lounge chairs. I don’t want to see what the inside of the house looks like.
“I talked to my dad last night didn’t I?” Teddy drawls.
“More like talked at him.”
“Did I say anything I’ll regret?”
“I didn’t hear the entire conversation, but the gist. Maybe. But you were also inspiring.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“I mean in your conviction to be exactly yourself. Not to let anyone, namely your parents, make you try to be someone you're not. I imagine that will serve you well, my friendling.”
“Well said, Obi-Wan,” Teddy croaks, looking slightly ill.
A laugh escapes. “Thanks. You stay put for as long as you like, but I don’t recommend bouncing," I say, nodding at the trampoline. "I’m going to get started cleaning up.”
“You’re a good friend, Willa.”
Chasing Days Page 18
