Maybe the task would be easier after a bath, when her nails would be softer.
“Come on, sweet thing.” Carrying her in the crook of his arm, he went to the bathroom in search of the baby toiletry kit that included clippers and scissors.
He located both and inspected the miniature tools. How could something so small feel so intimidating? Give him a chainsaw any day.
Imagining snipping the nearly microscopic nails growing close to Abby’s delicate skin made him break out in a cold sweat. No way would he attempt something that could draw blood.
He pulled out his phone. Even though it was eight o’clock on a Friday night, he hit Call on Violet’s name.
On the third ring, she picked up. “Hey.”
“I need help.”
“What’s wrong?” she asked with a note of panic in her voice.
“Itsy-bitsy razor-sharp baby fingernails. Gigantic nail clippers.”
She laughed. “They make infant nail clippers, you know.”
“Those are the ones I’m talking about. How soon can you come?”
Silence.
“I’m sorry. Do you have plans?”
“No plans. I’ll be right over.”
“We’ll be in the bathroom doing the bath routine. Come on in the back door.”
Jake gathered everything he needed, then filled the baby tub and placed it on the counter. He slipped Abby in the warm water and began washing her. What had been a dreaded chore two weeks ago had begun to feel like a bonding ritual. Maybe because she didn’t scream through it anymore.
Abby kicked her feet a little, almost as if she were enjoying bath time now.
“You two look like you’re having fun.” Violet stood in the doorway wearing running shorts and an old T-shirt. The duo seemed to be her go-to nonwork outfit. That and her flip-flops.
“I love seeing you in your regular clothes.”
“My mother never abided lounging clothes. So now I wear them whenever I get the chance.”
Trying to imagine the serious doctor bucking authority, he grinned. “Ever the rebel, huh?”
“So where are the clippers?” she asked, avoiding talking about her past.
“In that zippered bag.”
Violet dug inside and pulled them out. “Here, let’s get those vicious nails off.”
She leaned around him while he finished rinsing Abby’s legs. Pressed up against his side, she lifted Abby’s tiny hands and carefully, yet confidently, snipped off the tips of the fingernails with the clippers.
He breathed in the scent of Violet’s shampoo, relished the feel of her warmth against his shoulder. “Wow. You’re a pro. I would have taken forever and would have been terrified of hurting her.”
She lifted his hand, then held up the tiny clippers beside his fingers. “No contest. And I don’t think those sausage fingers will fit in the scissors, either.”
Having her close made his chest feel tight. “Guess I’ll just have to call you to come over for each nail trim.”
“Anytime.” She brushed soap bubbles off Abby’s cheek. “How’s my girl doing today?”
“She had a good day with Kelli.” He grabbed a plastic cup and filled it with fresh water. “Want to help me wash her hair? She doesn’t usually cooperate as well on this part.”
“Dry her off and wrap her up. I’ll show you an easier way to do it.”
He did as told. Then Violet took Abby from him, holding the bundled up baby along the underside of her left forearm with Abby’s head cupped in her palm. She held her over the sink.
As she used her right hand to scoop warm tap water over Abby’s hair, he stepped in to see better.
“See, she’s totally secure, and the water is nice and warm. Secure and warm equals happy baby.” She smiled up at him, and he realized he’d quit watching the demonstration. He was watching the beautiful, gentle pediatrician. The warm, generous woman.
Secure and warm equaled happy man, too.
Slipping his arm around her waist—his contribution to the hair-washing—he pushed Violet’s wispy dark hair behind her ear.
“Jake, watch what I’m doing. You’ll be able to do this until she gets too big.”
Forcing his attention back to Abby, he tried to concentrate.
Scoop water. Lather. Rinse.
Abby lay there totally content, dark hair slicked to her head, blue eyes wide open, looking at them both as if they were this perfect family of three.
“All done.” Violet finished rinsing, then pulled up a corner of the bath towel to dry Abby’s head.
“I think I can manage trying that next time,” he said. “Thanks.”
Wrapped in Violet’s arms, Abby yawned, and her eyes grew heavy.
Jake rubbed the tightness from his chest. He hated for Violet to leave so soon, and he had a feeling she might like to be involved in more than the bath. “Bottle and bedtime. You want to do the honors?”
She blinked. Nodded.
“How about you get her diapered and dressed while I make the bottle?” he said.
“I’ll be happy to.”
“I guess you know where everything is. A clean sleeper is on the bed.”
While preparing the formula, Jake took his time moving around the kitchen. Slowly, deliberately, he opened the can and poured it in the bottle. Soon, Abby would fall asleep and they’d put her in the bed. Then he would be alone with Violet.
He wanted to kiss her. It was all he’d been thinking about for days.
But he shouldn’t.
His aunt and uncle didn’t trust her, though they didn’t know her as well as he did.
She was secretive and wouldn’t open up to him, even after he’d shared about himself.
Plus, she’d made it perfectly clear she was focused on her career.
He was crazy for getting sucked in to the coziness. Especially when Remy could come back tomorrow and shatter the bond the three of them had formed.
“Jake, she’s ready and about to fall asleep.” Violet stood in the doorway of the kitchen, contentment shining in her beautiful hazel eyes, Abby cradled in her arms.
“Here you go.” He held out the bottle to her. “I don’t have a nice rocking chair, but Uncle Paul’s old lounger in the family room has done the trick.”
“Sounds perfect.” She smiled as she shifted Abby to one arm, yet her expression was full of longing. Maybe she felt the bond as strongly as he did.
Determination settled fully into his bones. Tonight, if they got to know each other better, if she would open up to him even a little or give any hint that she’d started to trust him...he would kiss her.
* * *
With her hand trembling, Violet took the bottle from Jake.
Why was she shaking so?
Why, my eye. I’m shaking because he keeps staring at my lips. Because he’s standing so close I can see that his blue eyes have a dark blue ring around them that’s almost purple.
I’m shaking because after we put Abby to bed, I want to beg him to quit looking at me like I’m a tasty morsel and just kiss me already.
Violet escaped the tension by darting to the living room and settling in the worn leather recliner. Touching the nipple to Abby’s lips, she roused the baby.
Jake sat nearby on the dark green tweed couch, arms resting on his knees, watching Abby eat.
Once again, Violet felt as if they were a normal family, taking care of their own child. Warm and cozy herself, Violet relaxed. Sighed.
“You seem happy.” Jake reached over and stroked Abby’s head.
“I love holding this precious child.”
“Me, too. With having child care and getting back to work nearly full-time the last couple of days, Abby and I have finally found a rhythm.”
“So Kelli and Simone worked out okay?”
“Yeah. Between the two of them, they had the babysitting covered. I realized I was probably being overly concerned.”
“That’s normal. Most parents are that way with first children.”
He leaned against the back of the couch and scraped a hand across his beard. “I want to adopt her.”
Her heart fluttered, like delicate wings battering against stifled hope.
Yet Jake’s simple statement was fraught with what-ifs. She had to tread carefully. “Do you think maybe you need to give Remy more time?”
“I’ve been emailing her daily, sending photos, begging to meet with her. She hasn’t responded since that first time through the director.”
Abby’s eating had slowed, yet she continued sucking on the bottle.
“You’re assuming the director of the shelter is passing along your messages,” Violet said.
“I confirmed with Ms. Phillips that Remy has received all my messages. If she hasn’t contacted me yet, I don’t think she will.”
“Well, you know her better than anyone else does.”
Jake stuck his pinkie finger in Abby’s palm, and she gripped it. The sight of a big man hand nestled with a tiny baby hand brought tears to her eyes.
“I can understand wanting to make a clean break from Abby if that’s Remy’s final decision,” he said. “But why won’t she meet with just me? Though I’ve been denying it, my gut says either she’s in an abusive situation, or she’s on drugs again. If that’s the case, I can’t keep waiting for her to show up. I have to permanently protect Abby.”
“I’m sorry, Jake. The thought of Remy choosing drugs over her baby is unimaginable.”
“When addiction takes control, it’s excruciating to watch.”
Especially when, according to Hillary, he’d been the one protecting her all those years. In the back of her mind, though, she wondered... “So you don’t think there’s any chance she brought Abby to you because she felt overwhelmed and ill equipped to care for a child?”
“If that were the case, I think she would have missed Abby enough to come back by now.”
Violet kissed the baby’s forehead, breathing in her powdery baby shampoo scent. “I’d like to give Remy the benefit of the doubt, but whatever the reason, I guess she made her choice.”
“Like you made your choice about severing ties with your family?”
The sudden change of topic hit her in the solar plexus, leaving her off balance. Could she keep the conversation out of personal territory? “Yes, I did.”
“Why?”
She’d lived her whole adult life without anyone knowing the full truth. Sad to admit, but no one really knew her at all.
Looking into his kind eyes, she wanted to tell him, to share at least some of her past. She sensed he wouldn’t judge her, not harshly anyway.
“My parents let me down when I needed them most. They hurt me terribly.”
Abby’s mouth had grown slack, and the bottle nipple slipped out. Violet set the uneaten ounce of formula down and placed the baby on her shoulder, patting gently to burp her.
“I’m sorry,” Jake said. “Did they fail to support you becoming a physician?”
“Oh, they supported my career aspirations—at the expense of everything else. By the time I left for college, I was so angry I broke off ties. I put myself through college and medical school.” With Abby pressed to her chest, she ached for the times she’d missed with her own child. If only she’d been strong enough, selfless enough, to give up her career goals and keep her baby no matter what her parents wanted.
As Abby’s eyes closed, Jake stood and held out a hand to Violet.
Her heart pounded as she put her hand in his. He helped her up, then ushered her to Abby’s bedroom.
Violet laid the girl in the travel bed. “Looks as if you may need to buy a real crib soon.”
“It’s on my list to do this weekend.” He tucked loose edges of the receiving blanket underneath Abby. “I kind of feel like buying something permanent will make good things happen. And of course, I’m trying to trust God in the situation.”
Violet crossed her arms tightly in front of her. “Yeah, I’ve been trying, too, for the first time in a long time. And not doing too well at it.”
The room was small, dimly lit, intimate. His tender smile left her feeling vulnerable.
“I’m glad you’re coming to church.”
“I’ll be there again this Sunday,” she said, trying to sound upbeat. Instead, having him so near and looking at her so intently caused her breath to catch and her words to sound airy.
“Do you trust me yet?” he asked.
You can’t afford to trust anyone, her brain told her. But at the moment, she didn’t want to think. She wanted to stand close to Jake, who smelled so good, whose warmth she craved. “I’m trying to.”
“I’m not out to hurt you, you know. I care for you.”
Her pulse thrummed in her ears. She cared for him, too. But the words remained locked inside her head, inside her heart. “I think I’ve seen evidence that you care.”
“Oh?”
“We had several new patients the end of this week. Also had new patients making appointments for checkups.”
“That’s good news.” He looked pleased and not one bit surprised she’d changed the subject.
“I imagine I have you to thank for that.”
He brushed her hair behind her ear, then smoothed his palm over her jawline. “You’ve impressed parents with your caring and expertise. They must be talking.”
“I have a feeling it’s more than that. Thank you.” His touch soothed her. Some rare sense of daring made her want to take a risk, so she pressed her cheek against his palm.
In the dark, makeshift nursery, lit only by the small night-light in the corner, he pulled her close. Cupped her cheeks in his warm, rough hands. “I don’t know what the future may hold with Abby. But one thing is certain. I want more with you, more than friendship. More than your pediatric expertise. I want...”
“What, Jake? What do you want?” she barely breathed, the words a choked whisper.
“This.” His eyes fell closed as he touched his lips to hers.
Her heart whizzed and soared, like fireworks shot to the sky, yet warm, full lips moving over hers kept her rooted to the earth. Her heart lay open, ready to love and be loved. When she touched his face, he intensified the kiss.
“Oh, Violet,” he whispered, touching his forehead to hers. “I wanted to do that days ago, but the timing didn’t feel right. I’m glad you opened up a little about your family. But I want to know everything about you.”
Like a cold north wind seeping in through a window, the comment slowly invaded her fantasy world—the world where she kissed a handsome man who said he cared for her. Could she handle having a relationship? How would he feel once he found out about her past?
Would he think her weak, or worse, selfish?
“I should go,” she said, forcing herself away from his touch.
“Yeah, okay. Probably a good idea.” A deep laugh rumbled in his chest as he dragged his gaze from her lips.
“Wha— Oh.” Her face flushed. He thought she meant to leave because of the sizzling attraction. Although she was actually escaping the truth. Truth that might change his feelings about her.
He wanted to know everything about her. Before she committed to a relationship, she wanted him to know everything, needed him to know. First, she had to figure out how to tell him. How to explain emotions she still hadn’t fully processed, especially now that her parents claimed they regretted their decision about her son.
Maybe the past wasn’t so cut and dried. Now that she’d witnessed Jake’s love for Abby, she had to acknowledge her son had probably had a be
tter life than she could have offered as a teen without any support.
Despite her parents’ motivations, maybe they had ultimately done what was best for everyone.
Maybe God had heard her desperate prayers all along, had taken a painful situation and worked it out for good.
“Um, yeah. I was just leaving.” She gave him a timid smile, then turned to walk away.
With a gentle tug on her hand, he reeled her back in. “One for the road, Doc.” He planted a quick kiss on her lips, then gave her a smile as he let go. “Thanks for once again coming to my rescue.”
“Anytime.” With a wave, she headed out.
If she believed God worked everything out for good, then she’d have to trust Him when revealing her past to Jake.
She needed to do it soon.
* * *
“Looks like you’ve been bitten by the love bug,” Zeb cracked so loudly that the other men at the work site heard.
Snickers sounded around the corner.
Jake’s neck probably glowed as red as Zeb’s shiny new truck. He hadn’t even intended to mention Violet. He’d started the conversation talking about possibly adopting Abby.
That morning, he’d decided he would email Remy one more time, warning her of his plan to contact an attorney. But telling Zeb about Abby invariably led to talking about Violet.
“What makes you say that?” Jake asked.
“I see it in your eyes when you talk about Doc Crenshaw. That and the big stupid grin on your face.”
Clamping his teeth together to wipe away that telltale smile, he clicked Abby’s car seat in the base and shut the truck door. She sat happily in her car seat, sucking on a pacifier. Jake climbed in behind the wheel, relieved that she hardly ever cried anymore. No more colic, if that was what had caused her crying jags. She only cried when she was hungry or needed changing. Or sometimes in her car seat.
“Gotta go before Abby starts fretting. Be sure to send me that bid we talked about.”
“Will do,” Zeb said. “I’m happy for you. I hear Doc Crenshaw is a great gal. A fine doctor.”
Glad to hear people were finally seeing Violet for the amazing person she was, he gave a firm nod. “She is. And just between you and me, I plan to ask her out.”
Love Inspired May 2015 #2 Page 14
