He held up a hand. “I think there’s more going on, and it’s time you trust me enough to tell me.”
If she had any hope of a relationship with Jake, she had to tell him, tell him everything. So he’d understand.
* * *
Jake studied Violet’s beautiful, troubled eyes.
He took her hand in his and sat knee to knee, encouraging her. “Tell me. From the beginning.”
She intertwined her fingers with his, gripping his hand firmly. “All my life, I’d planned to be a doctor. From the time I got my first toy medical kit, I wanted to be a surgeon like my dad, to make him proud.”
“I didn’t realize he’s a doctor, too.”
She nodded. “He and mom were prominent in the community. Had high expectations for their only child. And I wanted to be that girl—that perfect girl, with perfect grades, making a name for herself, saving the world.”
“Looks like you did that.” As soon as the words left his mouth, pain flashed in her eyes.
Then he knew her life hadn’t gone as her parents had planned.
“When I was a senior in high school, I...I got pregnant.”
He sucked in a breath. “Oh, man.”
An ironic laugh puffed out of her. “I’d been such a good girl. But the older I got, the more pressured I felt to live up to my parents’ expectations. I decided I wanted to have some fun.”
“Let me guess. You went for the bad boy.”
“Not so much that. He was just...intense. Gave one hundred and ten percent in everything he did—including relationships. He was fun and attentive, was wildly popular, made me feel beautiful and desirable. We were this perfect couple, and I thrived on that new, exciting reputation.
“As we applied to colleges and talked of the future, he told me he needed to know I was committed to him. And needed to know I really loved him. Despite my upbringing and beliefs, I fell for that line. I thought, finally, I had control over some part of my life my parents couldn’t touch, and I made a stupid choice.”
She sighed and tried to let go of his hand, but he held on.
“It was so clichéd,” she said. “We were together one time, and I became pregnant. He freaked and dumped me, claiming the child wasn’t his. Which was such a joke. Not one person believed him.”
“Violet, I’m so sorry.”
“Apparently, he couldn’t do one hundred and ten percent on fatherhood.” She laughed, but it held no humor.
“So I had to tell my parents, who didn’t react well. They then went into protect-the-family-name mode.”
Jake pulled their clasped hands to his chest, offering support.
“They were horrified. Ashamed. Right after graduation, they whisked me off to my aunt and uncle’s house in Alabama to try to cut down on gossip because by then I was showing. The next thing I knew, they had found this really nice, childless couple eager to adopt.”
“So you decided to give up the baby?”
She gazed into his eyes, and the pain he saw there squeezed the air out of his lungs.
“I wanted to keep him. Once I could feel my baby moving, I imagined keeping him, my parents helping me raise him.”
“Obviously, they didn’t allow that.”
“They told me I was being ridiculous, that I couldn’t support a baby on my own. That I would never achieve my dream of being a surgeon. I begged them to help me. I told them I would go to college locally. Then we could figure out medical school later.”
Tears pooled at the edges of her eyes, wetting her eyelashes, making them dark and spiky. He wanted to hug her, hold her, tell her he wished he could take the pain away. Yet he knew she needed to share it, so he would finally, truly know her.
He wiped a thumb under her eyes to brush away the tears. “Go on.”
“They refused to help raise the baby or to even help financially. Said if I kept the child, they would cut me off. My aunt and uncle sided with my parents. My grandparents wanted to help but wouldn’t go against my parents.”
“So you were on your own.”
“Yes. And I was afraid I couldn’t do it.”
“You were a kid yourself, Violet. It would have been nearly impossible to raise a child, attend college and medical school and support yourself financially.”
“But I wish I had,” she whispered.
The tears broke loose and poured down her cheeks, bringing him to his feet. He wrapped her into his arms and let her cry against his chest.
She poured out her hurt, wetting his shirt. When the crying stopped, she went inside for a tissue. He followed her and pulled her beside him on the couch.
She sniffed and dabbed at her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“I usually keep a tighter rein on my emotions.”
“I’m glad you told me.” He scooted closer so he could touch her. Holding on to her hands, he gave her a gentle smile. “So the baby was a boy?”
“Yes. I never got to hold him. But I’ve always imagined cradling him in my arms, smelling his unique baby scent.”
“And you ended up going into pediatrics.”
“Yeah. Once I had the baby, I left Alabama and went straight to college. Cut off all communication with my parents. Refused to let them control another minute of my life.”
“I’m sorry you experienced all that pain.”
“I’ve never gotten over giving him up. Never gotten over the guilt of putting my selfish ambition before him. Never gotten over being so weak I let them make the decision.”
“You were barely eighteen. I think they probably should have made the decision for you.”
“Though I know in my head it was probably best for my son, I still wish I’d been brave enough to step out on my own to raise him. Like you jumped in to take care of Abby despite your inexperience. You did the honorable thing.”
Jake threw his hand up in protest. “Whoa, don’t say that. Violet, your act of giving up your son to a loving home was just as honorable. If raising a child had kept you from finishing medical school, you wouldn’t be helping so many children today.”
She rested her head against his shoulder. “Thank you for saying that. After watching you struggle caring for Abby, I can see how difficult it would have been. Just like it’s been difficult for Remy.”
“And that’s why you sided with her.”
Leaning back, she gave him a sad smile. “Yeah. She’d proven she was ready to care for Abby. I think she deserves at least a chance if she wants it.” Her brow furrowed.
“What is it?”
“I actually think—”
He brushed a hair back from her face. “Go ahead. I want to know.”
“Maybe my opinion is colored by my experience. But I think you should ask your cousin to move back to Appleton and offer to help with Abby while Remy finishes school and gets a job. She could use family nearby to support her.”
The idea settled inside him like two perfectly dovetailed joints. “You’re one smart woman, Violet Crenshaw.”
A smile slowly bloomed on her face. “I try to be.”
“You know, I think your parents loved you and did what they thought best at the time. Maybe it’s time to respond to their calls. Time to rebuild that relationship, so you’ll have more support.”
Resignation—and possibly determination—sparked in her eyes. “You’re pretty smart yourself, Jake West.”
“So that’s a yes?”
“That’s a maybe...leaning toward a yes. I’ve had their phone number pulled up on my phone off and on all week. I just couldn’t quite hit Call.”
“I believe you can do it. And need to do it to fully heal.”
She blinked at moisture in her eyes. “Maybe now that I’ve dumped it all on you, I can move forward and learn to forgive.”
<
br /> “I’m proud of you, proud of how you’ve overcome a painful past. And I understand why you spoke up for Remy.” Jake was quickly falling for this brave, strong woman. A woman who was kind and fair and generous, even though she had been through so much.
He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. “I’ve missed you like crazy.”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
He glanced at her rosy, full lips and slowly—
She gasped. “Wait.” Hopping up, she hurried outside. A moment later, the car door slammed. Then she reappeared inside.
Her face full of joy, she set a gift wrapped in bright blue-and-green-striped paper in his lap. “Happy birthday.”
“A present for me?”
“Open it.”
As he ran his finger carefully under the tape, trying not to tear the paper, she leaned toward him, eyes sparkling, hands clasped in front of her as if dying to help. Her childlike excitement was contagious.
He could imagine her at Christmas. “As a child, you ripped off the wrapping paper and tossed it aside, making quick work of all your presents, didn’t you?”
“How’d you know?”
“Because it’s about to kill you that I’m taking so long.”
Her laugh was like music to his ears. “You know me too well. Now, can you, just this once, live dangerously and tear it right off?”
Yes, he finally knew her fully. And he liked everything about her.
With a quick yank, he tore off the paper. He drew in a breath. She’d given him a photo album filled with photos of Abby. Photos Violet had taken of him with Abby. Photos he’d taken of Violet with Abby. A photo Chloe had taken of the three of them at church.
He ran his fingers over a photo of Abby sleeping, sucking her thumb. “When did you put all this together?”
“Last Sunday night after I found out the date of your birthday.”
“What if I hadn’t shown up today?”
Large, sad eyes gazed into his. “I was going to keep it.”
He placed the book on the coffee table. Then he ran his hands through her hair and cupped her cheeks. “Being with you has made this the best birthday ever.”
When his lips touched hers, he once again savored the sense of belonging he’d longed for his whole life. He loved Violet and wanted a life with her.
But one fear nagged at the back of his mind, preventing him from saying the words. If Violet couldn’t mend the relationship with her parents, would his love be enough? Would she ever heal enough to return his love?
* * *
Jake might only get one chance to do this right. So with Violet by his side, he drove toward Remy’s apartment after church on Sunday, mentally preparing himself.
He wouldn’t get angry if she said no. He’d simply persuade her that it was in her best interest.
“I’m going to stay calm and not lose patience.”
Violet set her hand on his knee, a reassuring gesture. “Unless Remy’s school credits don’t transfer, or she can’t find a job in Appleton, I don’t think she’ll refuse. She loves you and respects you.”
He laughed. “How could you tell she feels that way from the brief meeting at my house?”
“I know the man you are. Honorable...” Her cheeks flushed pink, and she looked away. “Lovable.”
“Thanks for coming with me today.” He covered her hand with his.
“I wouldn’t miss a chance to see Abby. Or to cheer you on.”
Following his cell phone’s directions, they ended on a dead-end street lined with duplexes that all looked alike. They pulled up to the curb in front of her tiny unit.
“Looks well maintained,” Violet said.
“Not bad.” Looked better than he expected, at least on the outside.
He went around to Violet’s side and helped her out. They walked to the front door and knocked.
Remy opened the door. His gaze went straight to Abby, held snugly in her mother’s arms. “She looks beautiful, perfect.”
“Hi, Remy,” Violet said.
“Can I hold her?” he asked.
Smiling, Remy handed her over. “She’s missed you. Come on in.”
The baby looked at his face, and he thought she seemed happy to see him. With the precious bundle in the crook of his elbow, he beamed at Violet and Remy. “I’ve missed her. Thanks for letting us come by.”
“Anytime. Y’all sit down.”
“You have a nice apartment,” Violet said.
Jake looked around as he took a seat on the couch. Sparse secondhand furniture. But clean and tidy. Lots of sunlight streaming in the front window as well as from a window in the small, adjoining kitchen.
Clean bottles lined the countertop, drying upside down on paper towels.
“Thanks, Violet. It’s a project of Peace House, provided for former residents along with job training. I pay rent each month according to how much I make, and we can stay here for up to eighteen months.”
“Sounds like a great program.” His gaze met Violet’s. Lord, please let Remy agree to move home.
“So how is everything going with Abby?” Violet asked.
“I’m exhausted, but she seems to be doing fine. She’s eating better. Crying less as I’m learning to relax. And is bonding with the child-care workers.”
Jake’s heart felt bruised. He wanted Abby with him, at least some of the time. “Where are you working?”
Abby started to fuss, and Remy hopped up, grabbed a pacifier and popped it in her mouth.
“I’m still working full-time at a doctor’s office, and going to school part-time. Like I said the other day, I’m studying to be a certified nursing assistant.” Pride gleamed in her expression, and for the first time since she was about fifteen, he saw a glimpse of the Remy he remembered from their early childhood.
“I’m happy for you.”
“Jake, I know you’re still concerned about Abby because of the way I acted when I left her with you, but I’m not that woman anymore.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “After fumbling my way through, believe me, I understand.”
She swatted at tears. “Sorry. I’ve worked really hard to pull myself together. I’m determined to be a good mom, to do right by her.”
“You should be proud,” Violet said.
Jake knew the memories probably hurt Violet, but she was generous in her praise. And he admired her even more.
“I am proud of myself. But mostly, I’m grateful to both of you for watching out for my baby.”
Jake leaned forward and took his cousin’s hand. “Come home to Appleton, Remy. The local technical college has a CNA program, and there are job openings at the hospital. You can live with me until you’re done with school and can afford to move out on your own. Either that or let me help you with your own place until you’re able to do it alone.”
Her gaze darted from him to Violet, uncertainty drawing her brows downward.
“You’ll have a built-in pediatrician,” Violet said with a reassuring smile. “And babysitters who are ready and willing and will love your girl as much as you do.”
“Are y’all getting married or something?” Remy asked.
Jake’s neck heated and was probably as red as Zeb’s truck. He laughed, but it sounded more like a rusty gate creaking open. “Well, we haven’t talked that far ahead. But we’ll both be there to help you.”
He couldn’t bring himself to look at Violet. She was probably mortified, maybe even angry about his reaction.
“Remy, we promise not to interfere,” Violet said, “or to try to take over Abby’s care. Right, Jake?”
He glanced at Violet. She didn’t seem disturbed by Remy’s embarrassing question or his choked response. “That’s right. We’re offering assistance, not trying t
o step into your place.”
“Why?” Remy asked.
“Because you deserve a chance,” Violet said simply.
Jake’s throat tightened as if caught in a monkey wrench. The woman he loved never had a chance with her own child, yet she’d been strong enough to stand up to him, causing herself pain, because she wanted to give Remy the opportunity Violet had never had.
“Thank you both for the offer.” A smile quivered on Remy’s lips. “I’ll investigate the possibility of transferring my college credits. I’ll seriously consider moving home.”
Relief swamping him, Jake reached for Violet’s hand.
Violet swiped tears from her eyes and then gave him a watery smile. A laugh burst out of her. “I may not be family, but I hope the next time someone asks whether we’re getting married, you won’t look like you’ve swallowed a two-by-four.”
“Ooh, she nailed you, cuz,” Remy said with a chuckle.
Tugging at Violet’s hand, he scooted her closer and planted a big kiss on her lips. “Later...we need to talk.”
Violet pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and held it up. “First, I need to make a phone call. You two have inspired me, and it’s time to finally call my parents.”
“Do you need me?”
“No, I’m good. You, Remy and Abby enjoy your visit.”
As Violet slipped outside, Jake knew he’d found the woman he would spend his life with. Maybe they’d even be blessed with children of their own.
“Why’s Violet calling her parents?” Remy asked.
“They’ve been at odds since she was in high school.”
Reaching for her cell phone, Remy took a deep breath. “Maybe it’s time for me to do the same. I have a lot of apologizing to do.”
“Paul has been looking for you. And Edith is dying to see Abby. They’ll be relieved to hear from you, but be patient with them.”
She stood. “Are you okay here with Abby while I go call?”
“Are you kidding? Take your time. And, hey, tell them I plan to bring Violet down there soon and that they’re going to love her.”
He couldn’t imagine being any happier. Well, except for the possibility of having that talk with Violet later.
It was time to tell her he loved her, and he hoped she’d be able to return those feelings.
Love Inspired May 2015 #2 Page 18
