Matt’s eyes looked soft, and Chris snuggled into his neck in the same way she remembered he used to do with her. He looked safe in those muscular arms. He looked cared for, and she felt a wave of gratitude that God had provided someone to cradle her child before she even knew he existed.
What was it about this big firefighter who kept swooping into their life right when they needed rescuing the most?
She tucked the photo into the front of the album, closed it gently and put the album in its place on the bottom shelf.
An image of Matt rose in her mind—Matt in his firefighting suit, dashing into that house after the boy he thought was inside... She’d never seen another man willing to do something like that for her son before, not since Ed. And she’d never met a man who made her feel the way she did right now, either.
And you sent him away, she reminded herself bitterly.
She had been afraid to come in second to the job, but when a man ran into a burning building after your child, it was hard to feel like anything but his top priority. She was afraid to fall in love and then lose him as she had done with Ed, yet wasn’t she losing him right this very moment? And hadn’t she already fallen in love with him?
Chris had gotten attached, too, and while she’d been so focused on protecting Chris from any more pain in his young life, she was blocking them both from a happy life with a good man—a man she loved.
“Father,” she prayed aloud, “have I made a mistake?”
It sure felt like it, but feelings weren’t always reliable, either. The job had come first, and while she could understand why, it didn’t change facts. He was signing those papers—he’d made his choice long before she’d ever stepped foot in Haggerston. Everything was happening according to plan, even if that plan hurt right now.
The tears she’d been holding back all morning finally spilled onto her cheeks and she covered her face with her hands, her shoulders shaking as sobs overtook her body. A mom needed to be strong for her child, but right now she needed to lean into the invisible arms of her Father and let Him be the strong one. She might be a woman and no longer a hopeful girl, but she’d fallen in love with the tall firefighter in spite of her best efforts, and a broken heart still felt the same.
* * *
Mr. Bernard sat down in the visitor chair opposite Matt’s desk, a satisfied smile on his face.
“Congratulations, Matthew,” Mr. Bernard said. “It was a unanimous vote. We’d like to welcome you to South Maitland’s fire department.” The older man shook Matt’s hand warmly. “How does it feel?”
“Well, I’ve worked toward this for years, sir,” Matt said frankly.
“It’s a huge accomplishment, son,” Mr. Bernard replied. “You’ll be the youngest fire chief I’ve ever encountered, and that’s to your credit. You were more qualified than applicants twenty years your senior. You’ve certainly worked for this.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting the team.”
“They’re excited to meet you, too. In fact, I have a couple of real-estate agents who have offered you a cut on their fees if you’re looking to buy in the area. But first things first.”
Matt glanced around his office, and his eyes lit on the corner of his desk. That was the spot he’d always thought he’d put a picture on when he found the right woman to share his life. He’d proudly put a picture there of the two of them beaming into a camera, and now— Why on earth was that thought so sad right now? Did it matter which desk a picture sat on? It wasn’t as if this desk was anything special. Public servants had public service desks—gray metal frames with fake wood tops. Nothing special, he told himself. Pull it together.
“—don’t you think?” Mr. Bernard was saying.
“I’m sorry, sir. I got distracted for a second and missed that.”
“I was saying that now would be a good time to sign those papers,” the older man repeated, pulling his briefcase up to his lap and flicking open the clasps. “I have to say, the hiring board will be very pleased when I call to say that we’ve tied this up.”
South Maitland was a friendly and beautiful community, located in the center of farm country. Matt had no doubt that he’d enjoy living in that area a lot, and he’d been toying with the idea of buying an acreage—a little more space to spread out. He’d been mentally planning this move for months, yet the excitement of this moment had dried up.
I should be happier, he told himself, as if a mental lecture on the subject would make a difference.
“I think we’ve talked about all the clauses in your contract,” Mr. Bernard said. “Did you have any concerns about it?”
Matt let out a long breath, focusing his thoughts on the contract that lay before him on the desktop. “No, I think it’s quite fair. We hammered out that issue with pension, so I think that covered my concerns.”
“Excellent.” Mr. Bernard shot him a smile and pulled out a pen, clicking it open. “Then all that remains is a signature.”
Matt took the pen. It was heavy, perfectly weighted and balanced in his fingers at a satisfying angle.
Lord, I’ve worked for this and prayed for this. I’m finally getting the fire chief position. This is Your plan for me, isn’t it?
He flipped through the pages, initialing in the boxes next to each clause, and when he got to the end, he eyed the bottom line.
“One more John Hancock,” Mr. Bernard said, “and I owe you a celebratory dinner, Chief.”
* * *
Rachel sat on the edge of Chris’s bed and looked down at the train track the boy had concocted over the past half hour. The wooden tracks started at one end of the room and looped their way over to the other, a town of toy buildings and block houses populating the entire length. It was impressive and she attempted to show some enthusiasm for his work.
“This is a great town. You’ve been working hard.”
“Yeah.” Chris pulled his train slowly over a bridge, then muttered in frustration as it collapsed. “Man, it always does that...”
Rachel slipped off the edge of his bed and sank to the floor next to him. “Sweetie, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“What?” Chris asked, turning his large blue eyes onto her. “Am I in trouble again?”
“No...” She put a hand over his. “Things have been hard lately, haven’t they?”
“Yeah.” His voice was so soft that she had to lean closer to catch his response.
“What happened at school last year, son? Were the kids teasing you like that boy did here?”
Chris nodded. “I just got so mad.”
“How come the teachers didn’t notice?” she asked. “They were watching. I asked them to keep an eye out for what was happening.”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “It was on the bus.”
“Who was the worst?” she asked.
“Virgil.”
The fights—the constant fights with those other boys... She’d suspected that there was more to it, but no one would say a word and she was left reprimanding her son for hitting others. Virgil was the principal’s son, and suddenly it all fell into place. The teacher had been blaming Chris because she didn’t want to point the finger at her boss’s son. Tears rose inside her chest.
“And the fire...the one at our old house...”
He was silent for a long moment, and she thought he might not answer her. Finally he looked up into her face, his blue eyes brimming with tears. “I did that.”
“But why?” she whispered.
“I was mad.” He shrugged weakly.
“Are you still mad?”
“No.” His eyes brightened and he dug his heel into the carpet. “I’ve got Mr. Bailey now, and he can stop the kids from teasing me, so it’ll be okay.”
Rachel closed her eyes for a moment, summoning up strength. Was
Matt really the one to make her little boy feel strong again? She’d hoped that their friendship would help, and now she’d have to break the hardest news possible. “I wanted to talk to you about Mr. Bailey, too. He’s going to be moving away.”
“Why?” Chris slapped the bridge down and dashed at the tears that spilled down his cheeks. “That’s not fair!”
“He got a job in a different town across the state. So he has to move there.”
“He can’t just go! He’s not supposed to just go away,” Chris protested. “Who will make the mean kids stop being mean to me now?”
“I will.”
“But you don’t know how.”
She sighed, the old sadness welling up inside her. “I’ll always be here for you, Chris. I’m your mom—we stick together, and we help each other. Always. This is your home and I will hold on to you with all my strength for as long as I live. I don’t know exactly how to fix this now, but I’ll find the answers. I promise. Mr. Bailey is our friend, and sometimes friends move away, but you can count on me, son.”
“But I don’t want him to go.” He rubbed the tears off his cheeks with the palms of his hands. “I told Mr. Bailey that he couldn’t be your boyfriend. Is that why he’s going?”
“No.” She smiled in spite of it all. “That’s not the reason. It isn’t because of you.”
“But if he was your boyfriend, would he stay?” Chris pressed.
“It doesn’t work that way, sweetie,” she replied quietly. “Sometimes things get complicated between grown-ups who care about each other a lot.”
Chris stood up and wandered over to his open window. He looked down into the yard, his small shoulders drooping. He looked so small, so fragile, and Rachel sent up a prayer, as she always did, that God would protect her little boy. Would Chris be able to face the next school year without his firefighter? He’d have to, and she’d just have to be tougher than ever to stand up for her son.
“Can I talk to him now?” Chris asked, looking back at her.
“Not now,” she said. “He’s busy now.”
The sadness welled up higher inside her heart, and she blinked back the tears. She’d miss Matt, too—more than she’d ever admit to her little boy.
“No, he isn’t,” Chris countered.
“Chris, please don’t argue with me,” she said more firmly. “Maybe we can call tomorrow.”
“But he’s right down there.” Chris turned back to the window and peered down. “Hi, Mr. Bailey!”
Rachel blinked and stood up, moving over to the window to look down over the top of her son’s head. Matt’s truck was parked in the driveway, and he stood beside it, his head tipped back as he looked up at them. He shaded his eyes with one hand, his biceps straining against his shirt. His blue eyes sparkled and he shot her a grin.
“Matt?” She pressed down the surge of relief to see him again so soon and pushed the window farther open. “What are you doing here? I thought you were signing those papers.”
“I was. I came back.”
His reply was so matter-of-fact. She blinked and pulled away from the window.
“All right, Chris, let’s go down and say hello.”
Chris scampered ahead of her down the staircase and flung open the front door before she even had a chance to touch it. Chris crossed the grass and stared accusingly at Matt, crossing his small arms over his chest.
“You’re leaving,” Chris declared.
“Actually I wanted to talk to your mom about that,” he said. “Can you give us a minute, kiddo?”
“You can’t go,” Chris said, not to be discouraged. “I need you to stay here. You have to help me with the kids at school.”
“I will help you with the kids at school,” Matt said, squatting down to his level. “I promise, okay?”
“Okay,” the boy reluctantly agreed.
Matt rose to his feet and shot Rachel a smile. “Hi.”
“What are you doing here?” she asked breathlessly.
“Hey.” His tone was low and deep, and he stepped closer so that the warmth of his chest emanated against her. “I didn’t sign the papers.”
“You didn’t?” She gaped up at him. “Why not?”
“Because I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’m in love with you. I can’t just leave town and walk away.” His gaze flickered toward Chris, then back to her eyes. “From either of you.”
“You—” She cleared her throat. “You love me?”
“Heart and soul, babe.” He moved a strand of hair away from her face. “Do you love me?”
She nodded, emotion rising in her throat. “Of course I love you. But if it isn’t this job, it will be another one—”
“No.” He shook his head. “I made my peace with a few things at the graveyard today, and I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying here in Haggerston.”
“Even if nothing happens between you and me?” she asked, a teasing smile coming to her lips. She didn’t mean a word of that. She was too grateful to see him again to even consider pushing him away again.
He stepped closer, his forehead gently touching hers, and he chuckled. “I’ll just keep trying.”
Rachel laughed and pulled away, heat rising in her cheeks. “So I suppose we could see how things go...”
“I want to marry you,” he replied, tugging her back. “I want to be together, a family, for the rest of my life. I love you. I want to take care of you and wake up to you. I want to raise Chris with you and make sure that no one ever pushes him around again. I just can’t see myself happy anywhere, unless I’ve got you with me. And you need to be here for Chris, and that means I stay.”
“You’re putting us first?” she asked, tears misting her eyes.
“You’ll always be first in my heart. You know what the job entails, and it demands a lot, but I can promise you one thing—I’ll never turn off my phone. I’ll always take your call.” He paused and gave her a roguish grin. “Unless I’m actually inside a burning building, of course...”
Rachel laughed softly. “It sounds like a good deal.”
“So what do you say? Will you marry me?”
She nodded, words stuck in her throat. She could feel the beat of his heart against her hands, and his warm gaze pulled her in. Matt leaned down and pressed his lips gently against hers. She slid closer into his strong arms, the scent of his aftershave filling her up. Pulling back, he looked down into her face with a grin.
“That was a yes, right?” he clarified.
“Yes!” She laughed, and he kissed her again.
When he finally pulled back, she found herself breathless and a little weak-kneed. She looked over to find Chris staring up at them, his small face screwed up into an expression of “ick.”
“Ew,” he said reproachfully.
“Chris, Mr. Bailey is going to stay after all, and I think we have something to talk to you about.” She glanced up at Matt, and the big firefighter shot her a grin.
“We also have a ring to shop for,” he said softly, pulling her hand into his. “And wedding plans to make.”
“You could also buy me ice cream,” Chris suggested helpfully, and Matt laughed, throwing an arm around his shoulders.
“Hop up in the truck, Chris,” he said. “Ice cream it is.”
Epilogue
The little parking lot for Peace Hills Christian Church was packed, and all along the gravel road, cars parked on either side. The small copses that sprang up out of the rolling fields shone orange and crimson in all their autumn glory. The mown fields stretched out like gold, huge round bales of hay dotting the landscape around the little white church, freshly painted during a community work bee. It was high time the church was painted again, everybody said, especially for a wedding.
Chris, dressed in a little tuxedo, sat on th
e steps to the church, staring stoically out at the fields while muffled organ music filtered out from inside the church. Rachel sat next to him, her ivory gown billowing out around her, her veil pushed back over her dark hair and fluttering in the cool breeze.
The school year was off to a successful start. Chris hadn’t been in a fight yet, and his teacher had already told Matt and Rachel a few times what a smart kid he was and how impressed she was with his maturity. He’d been teased once or twice, but he’d come home and told his mother about it right away, and Matt had gone in to have a word with the principal, and the teasing stopped. Matt wouldn’t have accepted anything less. He was respected in this town, and his word went a long way.
The teachers were taking the bullying seriously, and they were already planning school-wide adoption education to clear up some of the misconceptions. He and Rachel were determined to find the support they needed as parents—parents! He never thought he’d step into fatherhood so easily, but he had.
Matt crouched down in front of them where they sat on the wooden steps of the church. The forlorn look on Chris’s face made the inside of his chest ache. This boy had been through enough, and with the wedding drawing closer, Matt had been afraid of this happening.
“Are you two okay?” Matt asked. Rachel shot him a grateful smile. She reached out and took his hand.
Chris looked miserably over at Matt. “No.”
“What’s wrong, Chris?”
“I don’t think I want you to marry my mom, after all.”
Matt sighed and leaned his elbows onto his knees. The three of them sat in silence for a couple of minutes, watching the mowers in the distance creeping over the fields. Warm autumn sunlight poured over their shoulders, and a chill in the air cooled them just as quickly.
“What made you change your mind, kiddo?”
“I dunno.”
“You’re used to being your mom’s main guy, aren’t you?” he asked.
“I can take care of my mom,” Chris replied, his voice low.
“I know. And you’ve done a good job of that,” Matt said. “So I guess you and I should probably talk about this man-to-man, right?”
Love Inspired May 2015 #2 Page 58
