by Livia Grant
"Those are big words."
Still full of snark, but he could see past it and into the lingering desire laced with the same fear she’d had years ago. The woman was afraid of her own truth, still even after so many years.
"Can you trust me?"
She eyed him silently, not pulling away from his touch, but in fact leaning into it. Her lips were supple beneath his fingers, her skin silky just as he remembered.
Framing her face with his hands, he brought her closer to him, leaning down to bring his lips near hers. Almost touching, almost feeling the heat forever carved in his memory when chaos broke free behind him. He sighed when she jerked out of his hands and looked around him toward the noise.
A small crowd of people surrounded a yelling woman. Owen stood center of the mess.
"I wonder what's going on." Riley stepped away, toward the scene. Always the curious bystander, she still couldn't resist watching drama unfold.
"She probably used her safeword. It's being handled." He recognized the Dom being talked to by the DM, Congressman Masterson. Whatever had transpired left him without a sub, but the DM seemed to be soothing the irritation of the situation away.
Dane watched Riley rush off toward the crowd and didn't bother stopping her. She'd be back once her curiosity was fulfilled, and then they could talk about her error. She still held as much charm and beauty as ever. No matter what situation she found herself in, she always emitted confidence. He had been the lucky bastard to see beneath the layer of steel resolve, and if only that hadn't scared her so terribly maybe things would have been different between them.
He rolled his head to one side, rubbing away a tenderness in his neck. Even with all the training and physical therapy he still had residual tension.
"Sorry." Riley gave him a tenuous smile when she returned to his side. She stood an entire head shorter than him, but that never seemed to concern her.
"Uh. Huh. And what did my Nosy Nelly find out?" A strand of hair stuck to her bottom lip, so he gently dragged his finger across her cheek to remove it. She stiffened at his touch, but didn't pull away.
"Apparently, she wasn't into pet play, I guess. I don't know, but she didn't like having to crawl and eat out of a bowl, so she screamed her safeword and went about having a fit. Owen gave the guy some free membership time." She gave a shrug.
“And do you think it was polite to run off and leave me here while you went in search of the gossip?” He put on his Dom voice for effect.
“Well, no, probably not.” She sighed. “Sorry.” She shrugged and nipped at her bottom lip.
He laughed. "You just can't help yourself, can you?"
"Help myself what?"
It was his turn to shrug. "Nothing. Never mind. Now, I think we were discussing your state of dress."
"I don't really like getting undressed in the dungeon. Can we go to the privates?" She gestured to the semi-private rooms across the way.
He shook his head. No way. This was a perfect opportunity, and he wasn't letting it slide. "Was public nudity a hard limit you chose?"
She twisted her hands together. Still giving away her thoughts, not much really had changed in the last eight years.
"No. I didn't mark it."
"Then either take off your clothes, or safeword. Make a scene if you'd like—easiest way to win the free month for me. I could use the freebie." Not really. His civilian work as well as his gym did more than keep the home fires burning.
Her slender fingers toyed with the buttons on her blouse until finally she started to undo them, working her way down the row until the material opened up and gave him his first glance at her breasts. How could he have not committed the sight to memory? He wouldn’t make that mistake again.
With the shirt easing off her shoulders, he unclasped the hook of her bra nestled between her breasts. The little birthmark hidden by her bra and that she'd always been subconscious about was exposed. While she finished working the clothing off, he traced the birthmark with his fingernail. She trembled, but didn't stop in her movements to rid herself of her skirt.
He stepped back to enjoy the sight as she pushed the skirt over her rounded hips and shoved it toward the floor. "Panties, too. Although, there isn't much to them is there?" He raised an eyebrow when she looked ready to give him some lip. She could be snarky, and he loved it, but at the moment he wanted her complete obedience.
Once she was completely nude, she bent over to scoop everything up and held it in front of her, as though the pile of material could shield her from his eyes.
"Tell me something. Did you wear the skirt and thong because you figured you'd just have your top lift your skirt and give you your spankings? No need to show him all the goods?"
The blush told him he'd hit the mark.
"You figured you'd let him see that perfectly round ass of yours, but keep yourself completely off limits. Is that right? Even though tonight's completely different than every other night you've played here?"
"I didn't know who I’d be playing with or what we'd be doing." Her chin rose in a small act of defiance.
"Hm. I've seen you play, Riley. You tease the tops here. You pick the newer ones, the ones you can manipulate into giving you exactly what you want."
Fire lit in her eyes. He was definitely getting somewhere.
"You stick with a little spanking or flogging here and there because if you were to really open yourself up, you might actually find the truth lying in the center of all of it."
Her nostrils flared as she started to breathe heavier.
"You have turned into a tease, Riley." With one quick motion, he snagged the pile of clothes from her. "Stand with your arms behind your back." He didn't wait for her to obey before he quickly marched off to the stage, grabbed his toy bag and shoved her items inside.
When he returned to her, bag in hand, she stood with her arms straight at her side, her glare fixed on him. Well. So much for going easy on her.
"Looks like you’re a disobedient tease. Is that right?" He grabbed her arm and pulled her toward an empty chair he’d seen. Dragging it out to where he wanted, he pointed to it. "Stand up here."
"Dane." She looked around to see if anyone was watching.
"Now, Riley." He didn't bother warning her what punishment she would get for not obeying.
"Fine." She slammed one foot onto the chair and pushed herself up.
"Hands." He gestured to her arms. "Behind your back, like I taught you. You remember that, right? The correct position?" He'd never forgotten those lessons he'd taught her. The hours of playtime they’d shared while he showed her how much she truly enjoyed being submissive and letting go of the control she harbored so closely throughout her day. It was in those moments that he saw the true Riley, saw her bare her soul to him, only to lock it up again when she herself realized how close she'd gotten to the truth. Unfortunately for them, her fear had outweighed her desire. He could only hope the years had softened that fear, at least a little.
Looking out over the crowd’s heads, she moved her hands behind her, grasping each elbow with a hand.
Standing close to her brought her breasts even with his mouth, but he didn't touch her. Not yet. Her desire wasn't hot enough.
"Fuck, you’re beautiful." He could smell the softness of her body wash. She never wore perfume, or much make-up. It was one of the things he found so damn appealing in her. Her beauty came naturally, nothing plastic or painted, everything raw and out there for him to see. She used to tell him that she didn't bother with all that foundation and fluff because she didn't want to waste precious sleep time with putting on makeup every morning.
"How have you not been snatched up?" He looked up at her eyes, surprised to find her looking down at him from her perch. "How many hearts do you think you've broken over the years?"
"Hearts? None. I may have left a few blue balls though." Her cocky grin wouldn't last long, but for the moment he enjoyed it.
"That's not true, Riley. If you think walking away from
me—away from us—didn't leave behind some pain, you're not as smart as I gave you credit for." He continued before she could absorb his words. "I'm going to get ready. You remember the color system, right? Use your colors if you need me to slow down. But don’t forget red stops all play, and we lose.”
"Okay."
He pinched her thigh.
"Yes, sir!" she amended. "Can I ask you a question before you go?" Her voice lowered, the hard edge she'd been forcing eased off.
"Of course." He rested his hands on her hips, enjoying the feel of her smooth curves beneath his touch. The sensation of having her right in front of him, after all the years of playing the 'if I had her back' game, raged in his mind. But touching her, feeling her right there, everything calmed for him. The only thing that mattered was her.
"When you saw my name on that wheel, when you spun my name, were you disappointed? I mean, are you angry to be stuck with me?"
He narrowed his eyes. "If you’re asking me if I'm going to use this playtime as a way for getting back at you for walking out on us, the answer is no. And I'll try not to be offended you'd even entertain that idea. If you're asking if I'm disappointed to have spun your name instead of someone else’s, fuck no. I've watched you, Riley. I've watched you chew up and spit out at least a dozen Doms. But you can't chew me up, you won't spit me out, and I sure as fuck am not giving up this time." He sealed his vow by pulling her down, keeping her steady on the chair, as his mouth crashed against hers.
Her hands didn't stay in position, instead they settled on his shoulders. Not to push him away, no, she leaned into the kiss, parting her lips for him when his tongue brushed against them. Fuck. She still tasted like vanilla cream, same as always. She moaned when he dug his fingertips in her hips, but she leaned further forward.
When he broke the kiss off, he helped straighten her back on the chair.
"Hands behind your back. I want you to stay right where you are, no moving. People are going to stare at you, see you standing here waiting, and I want you to keep quiet." He ran his hand over her hip. "You can do that for me, right? You can be a good girl until I’m ready?"
"I can manage, sir." She smiled.
"Now, a question for you. Why did you sign up tonight? You don't play outside your comfort zone, so why pick this party?"
She studied him silently for moment, then let out a breath. "You were right. When you told me how afraid I was to find my full submissive side." Her bottom lip wavered, but she took a deep breath and looked away, gathering herself back up. "It's one night. A few hours. I can handle a few hours."
"Well, we'll see." He leaned forward and kissed the birthmark between her breasts and went about getting his bag ready, keeping an eye on her to be sure she was planted solidly on the chair. He was within two steps of her, easily able to get to her quickly if she needed him. He wasn’t letting anything go wrong; Riley was back in his hands, and he wasn't going to blow it this time.
Chapter 2
A few hours? She could manage a few hours? What the hell was she thinking? She was barely holding it together as it was, and they hadn't even started yet.
Having Dane's eyes back on her in that way of his, the I'm-watching-and-memorizing-everything way, set fire to her nerves. Having him press his lips, his thick, beautiful lips to the birthmark between her breasts created an inferno.
People milled around the room, most too occupied with their own fun to pay any attention to her. Which suited her just fine. Body shame had nothing to do with it: she simply didn't like being so vulnerable. If others could see her submissive side, how could she continue to deny it to herself? Dane crouched down and unzipped his black duffel bag. As he dug around, she got another look at the scar sneaking down his shirt. After he'd filled the pockets of his cargo pants with whatever he'd been digging for, he walked over to her.
"What happened to your neck?" she asked once he was close enough to hear her.
His eyes widened at the question, and he paused momentarily in his movements. "I broke it." He crossed his arms over his chest and looked her over, absorbing her, committing the moment to memory. She could only imagine the pain and terror that had to go along with such an injury. Dane never looked vulnerable, never looked as though he could fear something, yet just before he gave his answer, she'd seen both of those emotions cross his features.
"That's why you didn't stay on active duty?" She watched the flicker of something dark in his eyes.
"Yeah. Something like that."
"You were so army strong, I'm sure that was hard for you." Her shoulders were starting to ache, but concentrating on him took her mind off the discomfort.
He settled his hands back on her hips. "Not my favorite memory, no. But everything happens for a reason, and it all worked out fine. I'm not active anymore, but I'm still working with the military, just as a civilian. Military Training Liaison. And there's my gym."
"You work in a gym?" The news shouldn't have surprised her. Just looking at how fit he'd become, how toned and hard his body was, told her he spent a good amount of time there.
"No. I own it." He gestured for her to step down, and helped her get back on solid ground. "What about you? No more DA?" He scooped up the chair and moved it a few feet to the left, directly beneath a light coming from the ceiling.
"The cases were crap." She looked away from him, toward the other couples already in full play mode. This was easy with him, talking and getting ready to play. Comfortable even, except for the nerves in her tummy.
His warm hands were on her, running up and down her arms in the soothing way she remembered. She caught his gaze and had to fight the urge to melt into his chest. No one ever looked at her with such true concern. The other men she dated weren't exactly looking for a real attachment. It was D.C. after all. If she didn't come with a tradeable commodity, her worth plummeted. And the men at the club were more distraction than relationship material. With a larger population of Doms than subs in the club, she didn’t have trouble finding someone to scratch her itch when needed. Dane was the only man who could look at her and just know her. He could always sense her tension, feel her pain, and soothe it away.
Deciding to give up the DA position had been heart-breaking for her. She'd failed, and she'd had to sit in that failure alone because she didn't give the one man who had always been able to carry her through the shit and muck a chance to make a real thing from what they played at. She had thrown it all away because she was too afraid to be loved, too scared to trust in someone besides herself.
"That's partially true, I’m sure the cases were bad, but I think there's more. A lot more, and over the next few hours we'll get through it. All of it. Everything you've hidden from me, from yourself, it's all going to be bared for me." He cupped her chin, pulling it higher and brushing his lips over hers. Not enough of a kiss to satisfy her need for him, but enough to whet her appetite.
"It's just a scene, Dane. That's all we're doing here." Each word made her chest tighten. Her hands flexed and fisted behind her, her toes followed suit.
"That's all we signed up for, yes." He released her chin, sliding his knuckles down her jaw and sinking his fingers into her hair, yanking her head back more than was comfortable. "But there's more here, and it's time you started to see the truth of everything." His lips pressed against her throat, then moved to her collarbone, and he kissed his way up to her earlobe. "You wanted to be a tease? You wanted to get what you wanted and use the newbies for your little games? We'll start there, explore that for you. Now get back up on the chair."
Without letting go of her, he helped her back up on the chair. She released her elbows to help maneuver her body, but quickly put herself back into position.
A breeze blew over her naked body as a group of people rushed past them, making her nipples harden. He didn't let the opportunity pass him, and pinched one budded peak. "Do you understand what I'm saying to you, Riley? I'm in charge, and I won’t allow bratting, topping from the bottom, or the slightest disobedienc
e."
Her breath shuddered. "I'll try."
The pinch intensified. "Not good enough, girl. Try again." His eyes were wide and dark, his jaw set firm. There would be no denying this Dane anything. This Dane wasn't timid with his dominance; he embraced it and celebrated it.
"Yes, sir!" She gripped her elbows tighter, bowing her back to alleviate the burn of his fingers tweaking her nipple.
Without warning, he opened his fingers, letting her breast bounce slightly and a new heat rushed through her.
She sucked in her breath when her head was jerked back again, the tug on her hair relentless. "Yes, I understand!" She called out, hoping that would get him to relent. It had taken her several different salons to find the hairstyle she liked, if he pulled much harder, all that hard work would be in his hand instead of on her scalp.
With a light shove, he let go of her hair and stood in front of her, again appraising her. "I've always loved your tits, Riley." He cradled them in his hands, assessing the weight of them. "Nice and heavy. Do they take a nice beating?" One more thing on the list of things he'd wanted to try, but she'd been afraid. What if she had liked it? What would that have meant for them? "I asked you a question, girl. Answer me." He slapped her hip.
She caught herself before losing her balance and glared at him.
His response to her expression came swiftly. "If you get off the chair, you'll get a whipping. In front of everyone. You'll have to tell them all you didn't obey, you didn't listen and ask them to watch your punishment. That's what's going to happen if you don't follow directions."
"You almost knocked me off," she snapped, righting her position to get her balance back.
His arm wrapped around her while he positioned himself to her side, keeping her front side exposed but secured on the chair. A volley of hard slaps to the front of her thighs had her dancing in his grasp and yelping. "Your job is to stay put. If you can't do that, then you'll be begging for an audience to watch your belting."
