Was Mr. Sheehan giving me advice? If so, I’d take it. “Yeah, I’ve figured that out. I know it’s hard for her to forgive if she thinks her trust has been broken.” I didn’t want to come out and spill my guts to this stranger, but I also felt compelled to share a little with this man who knew Skylar since she was a kid and seemed to care about her a lot.
Mr. Sheehan nodded. “I don’t blame her. Watching her mama walk in and out as she did over the years will make trusting hard for her. And she’s still dealing with their crap all these years later.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “You seem like a nice guy. And Edgar likes you, so I hope to see you sticking around.”
I didn’t know what to say. But I appreciated the sentiment. “Thanks, Mr. Sheehan. I hope to as well.”
He slapped his thighs with his hands. “Well then, I’m off. As long as you’re okay to look after the monster here.” He leaned down and rubbed Edgar’s head. “But if it gets too late and she’s not back, bring him back down to my place.” He pointed to the end of the road. “I live just over there behind the trees. Can’t miss it.”
“Sure thing, Mr. Sheehan. But I plan to wait here as long as it takes. I don’t think Edgar will mind.” The giant dog had already gone and curled up in a bed Skylar kept for him on the porch. He was snoring loudly.
Mr. Sheehan handed me Edgar’s leash. “Good luck, young man.”
“Thanks. I think I’ll need it,” I called back as the older man walked back down the road.
I looked back at Edgar who seemed relaxed, and content and I wished I felt even a fraction of his ease. I settled against the porch column and pulled out my phone, prepared to wait as long as I needed to until Skylar came back.
I was preparing to fight for her. And I wouldn’t walk away this time.
Chapter Seventeen
Skylar
“You need to come over here now!” my mother screeched into the phone. I was in the middle of an important project that I had been struggling to focus on for weeks. I had a deadline looming and I didn’t have time to deal with my mother’s drama.
“I can’t, Mom. I’m in the middle of work,” I told her.
“If you don’t, I will leave him. I swear to god it will be for good this time. I can’t take this man’s nonsense anymore,” she shouted.
I sighed. It was just another round on the rollercoaster that was my parents’ relationship. I wasn’t emotionally strong enough to handle whatever crap they were dishing out. I was sure it was over something minor like my dad eating the last bagel or leaving his socks on the floor instead of putting them in the hamper. My mother could get pissed over any tiny thing.
“Can’t you two sort this out yourselves? Last time I checked you’re adults. You don’t need your daughter to play mediator—”
“This is different this time, Skylar. If you don’t get over her right now I don’t know what I’ll do,” she warned, her voice wobbly.
Knowing she’d keep calling and calling until I eventually gave in I figured I’d bite the bullet and deal with their latest saga as quickly as I could.
“Fine, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes,” I said.
“Good,” was all my mom said before she hung up the phone.
I rubbed my temples, feeling the beginnings of a headache. I looked over at Edgar who had lifted his head sleepily. I got up and he stood too, knowing that something was about to happen. “Let’s see if Mr. Sheehan can watch after you. Because lord knows how long I’ll be.” I grabbed my phone and Edgar’s leash and headed to my car.
Mr. Sheehan was fine to keep Edgar, as I knew he would. At this point, Edgar was as much his dog as mine. Then I headed to my parents’ house. I could hear my mother’s shouting as soon as I got out of the car. I looked around, hoping no neighbors were outside to hear her. If she kept this up, the police would be called—again.
I hurried up to the door and opened it, preparing myself. The house was in chaos. My mother had thrown what looked like my dad’s entire wardrobe down the stairs where it landed in a heap just inside the front door.
“What the hell?” I muttered, kicking my dad’s boxers and socks out of the way. It wasn’t hard to figure out where my mom was. I just had to follow the sound of her yelling. I looked around and saw no sign of my dad.
I walked into the kitchen where my mom was smashing dishes on the floor. “He keeps doing this to me! I don’t have to take it!” she shrieked, picking up a bowl and preparing to fling it across the room.
I hurried over to her and grabbed her wrist before she could throw the dish. “Stop it, Mom, or you’ll have no dishes left.” I wrenched the bowl from her hand and carefully placed it back in the cabinet. I looked around at all the destruction. “You want to tell me what’s going on? And where’s Dad?”
At the mention of my father my mother’s face turned a mottled shade of red. “He left and he’d better never come back! I’ve had it, Skylar. He’s not welcome here anymore!”
I took both of her hands and walked her to the kitchen table, helping her sit down in the chair. Then I went to make her a cup of coffee, hoping it would help her settle down. Only one mug remained that my mother hadn’t smashed in her pique. This was probably the tenth set of dishes she had gone through in the past ten years. They were always the first casualties of her anger. I was pretty sure she liked the drama of smashing them.
I made her an instant coffee and put the steaming mug in front of her. I had to brush glass shards from the seat before sitting down beside her. “What did Dad do this time?
Mom lifted her coffee and took a sip. “Thank you, sweety,” she murmured. “You’re the only one I can count on in this shitty world.”
I had to force myself not to roll my eyes. “Mom, focus. What did Dad do?”
“Did you know he used to date Lisa Mackenzie?” Mom’s voice rose. “Lisa Mackenzie!”
“Who is Lisa Mackenzie?” I asked.
Mom’s eyes practically bugged out of his head. “Lisa Mackenzie was the biggest slut in high school. And your father dated her. When we were first together! Can you believe that? And he never told me about it!” She was getting herself worked up again.
“Mom, that’s in the past, why would you care if he dated some girl when he was in high school—?”
“He cheated on me!” she shouted.
“Shh, Mom, no need to yell, I’m right here.” I patted her hand. “Okay, so he cheated on you. When you were teenagers. What does that have to do with your relationship now? You’ve been married for over thirty years. What he did when he was a kid hardly seems to matter,” I reasoned.
“He was talking to her just a few weeks ago. He ran into her in the grocery store. They were laughing and having a grand ol’ time. When I came over from picking out the ham for dinner, Lisa dared to hug him! Right in front of me!” She was shaking by this point.
“Mom, so what? What does that have to do with anything?”
“He kept it from me, Skylar! How can he keep something like that a secret? It makes him a goddamn liar!” She slammed her hands on the table, making her mug rattle.
Something about her words gave me pause.
“We’re done. I can’t forgive him for this,” she concluded, seeming to calm down slightly.
“You can’t forgive him for not telling you about some girl he used to go out with?” I asked slowly.
“Once trust is broken, that’s it, Skylar. I hope you learn something from all this. If a man keeps things from you, get rid of him. Don’t waste your time.”
“Even though you love Dad and he never meant to hurt you by not telling you?” Was I talking to my mom or myself?
Her reaction felt all too familiar. Perhaps I wasn’t as dramatic and over the top, but our stubborn refusal to see another side to things was entirely too similar.
“Love only gets you so far. And I’ve had it. I want you to put your dad’s clothes in trash bags and leave them on the porch. He can come and get them later.” Mom continued drinking her coffee
as if we were talking about mundane things like the weather.
I sat there unmoving. Was I just like my mother? No. I wasn’t. I had gone to great length to distance myself from the walking tornado that was my mother and father. The reality was the way they went about their relationship had hugely impacted the way I went about mine. But our behaviors were equally destructive. My relationship with Mac was a case in point. I had turned the other way for months as he spent our money on camgirls. I hadn’t wanted the emotional display I was used to witnessing from my parents so I had gone in the opposite direction and had pretended everything was peachy.
When it blew up in my face I had been almost relieved that I could simply collect my things, take Morla, and get the hell out of there. There was no fraught exchange with smashed dishes and name-calling. I simply left.
But with Robert, things were more complicated. And it was in my dealings with him that I saw more of my mother and father than I cared to admit. I had been so quick to shut him down when the truth about his past came to light.
Yes, he had kept some serious stuff from me. But did I blame him for that? I had essentially shamed him for his choices. I didn’t like the idea of him dancing for other women. It made me sick to my stomach. But I had checked the website and he had been truthful when he said he shut it down.
He had done that for me. He had been trying to make it right.
And I kicked him out of my house and my life.
“I’ll never forgive him, Skylar,” Mom repeated, her hand gripping the coffee mug hard enough to break.
“You’re being stupid, Mom,” I said, surprising both of us. I didn’t usually stand up to my parents. I usually kept my mouth shut and made a quick escape.
“Excuse me?” she gasped. “Don’t talk to your mother that way.”
“You and Dad should have gotten a divorce a long time ago. Your relationship is toxic but not because Dad lied to you about some silly high school relationship he had a million years ago. All you do is fight and make each other feel like crap. So end it. Or don’t. Whatever. But I’m done standing around watching it.”
I got to my feet and headed for the door.
“Where are you going, Skylar? I need your help with all this,” Mom called out, indicating the piles of clothes on the floor.
I stopped and turned to face her. “You need to learn forgiveness, Mom. You have to figure out how to share your life with people in a healthy way. You’ve messed me up big time and you don’t even realize it.”
“What are you talking about? You’re just fine.” Mom put her hands on her hips.
“I’m not fine, Mom. I’m terrified of opening myself to a man I truly love for fear of being hurt. After a lifetime of watching you and Dad yo-yo between breaking up and getting back together, I didn’t know what it was like to have a functional relationship. And when I found a man who would literally do anything in the world for me I ended it the first time I heard something I didn’t like. I wouldn’t hear him out. I wouldn't give him a chance. All because I was scared to death of ending up like you.” It was my turn to raise my voice and I could tell my mother didn’t know what to do.
“That’s ridiculous—” she started to say but I cut her off.
“Is it? Are you going to stand here and tell me that you and Dad have been the picture of a healthy marriage?” I threw back at her.
When she didn’t say anything, I sighed. “I love you, Mom, but I can’t be around this anymore. You and Dad figure it out on your own. Leave me out of it.” I opened the door to see Dad standing there looking sheepish.
“Skylar, what are you doing here? I hope you’re not leaving. We could really use your sage advice,” Dad said, looking over my shoulder to where Mom was standing.
“This is all up to you guys this time. Good luck.” I squeezed past my dad and headed for my car.
It was time for me to forge a different path for myself. And I knew what I had to do.
**
It was well past dark when I pulled into my driveway. I had debated calling Rob on my way home. I was desperate to talk to him. But I also needed to get back and tend to Edgar. I needed to get my thoughts in order before I spoke with him.
Because I had some groveling to do.
I was so deep into my thoughts that I didn’t notice the car parked to the side of my driveway. I was shocked though when Edgar jumped off the porch and ran to me.
“Edgar, what in the world are you doing out here?” I looked around for Mr. Sheehan, knowing he would never leave my dog out here by himself.
“He’s been hanging out with me,” a voice said, coming from the dark shadows of the porch. Robert stood up and came down the steps toward me.
“Rob,” I breathed his name a whisper in my mouth.
“Hey,” he said softly, his hair falling into his eyes. “Everything okay with your parents?”
I frowned. “How did you know—?”
“Mr. Sheehan mentioned your mom had called and that’s why you dropped Edgar off,” he explained.
“So how did you end up with my dog?” I asked in confusion.
“He was walking Edgar when I showed up and knocked on your door. He told me then that you had gone over there. I offered to watch the big guy since I planned to stick around until you got home.” He held out his hand. “So here we are.”
“How long have you been out here? It’s cold.”
Robert checked his phone. “I don’t know, three hours I guess.”
My mouth dropped open. “You’ve been sitting on my porch for three hours waiting for me to come home? I’m not sure if I should be flattered or slightly freaked out.”
Robert gave me a half-smile. “Maybe both? I didn’t think it through very clearly.” He rubbed his hands together. “Can we go inside and talk? I think the tip of my nose has gone numb.”
“Of course,” I exclaimed, hurrying to the front door. I opened the door and my dog burst past me, heading straight for his food bowl in the kitchen. I could hear him crunching happily from the hallway.
Robert closed the door behind him. We stood awkwardly, not entirely sure what to say. With embarrassment, I remembered what I had said the last time I saw him. I wanted to talk to him. To lay some things out on the table. I hadn’t expected to do it tonight, so I was feeling off balance and floundering.
“Are your parents okay?” he asked again.
I shrugged. “They’re being their usual dramatic selves. But I made it clear this time they needed to start leaving me out of it. Their toxicity has colored too much of my life. I need to stop letting their relationship dictate mine.”
Robert’s eyes met mine. “Sounds like you’ve made some important decisions tonight.”
“I have. I think it’s time I stop being so black and white. People are allowed to screw up. They’re allowed to make mistakes. I can’t expect perfection from those I love. I have to be willing to forgive. I’ve been really bad at that in the past.” My heart started to hammer in my chest. I felt as if I were on the precipice of something great but I was scared I’d fall off and break like my mother’s dishes.
“It sounds like we’ve both made a lot of mistakes,” Robert said.
“We have. I think we’ve made a complete mess of something pretty damn wonderful,” I agreed.
“Do you think we can work together on cleaning it up?” he asked hesitantly.
I considered his words. I knew I wanted to forgive him, but I had to be straight with him too. It was the only way this would work. “You lied to me. I know why you didn’t say anything about your website. It’s not exactly something you bring up on a first date, but you still should have told me once we started to get serious.”
Robert hung his head. “I’ve never felt shame for the work I did until I hurt you. Then I felt the worst guilt I had ever experienced in my life. I don’t want secrets between us. I don’t want you to ever feel I’ll keep things from you. And I won’t again. I promise. I just hope you give me the chance to prove to you I�
��m trustworthy.”
He was practically self-flagellating. I didn’t want him to take all the blame for this. It wasn’t fair.
“I hate that I made you feel shame for what you were doing. That wasn’t my intention. I need you to know I don’t judge you for it, for what Tiffany made you do. For stripping. For the website. Sure, I don’t like knowing so many women have seen what I feel belongs to me.” I gave him a self-conscious smile.
Robert’s eyes brightened. “Are you saying I’m yours?”
I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly dry. I didn’t do well with emoting and telling someone how I was feeling. But for Robert, I’d try. Because I knew, deep in my bones, that what we had was special. It was a once-in-a-lifetime special. And I wasn’t prepared to lose it again.
“And I’m yours. If you want me,” I said shyly, looking up at him through my lashes.
His face lit up and he reached for me as if he couldn’t bear not to be touching me a moment longer. “Do I want you? My god, Sky, you’re all I could ever want. I’ve felt half-dead these past few weeks. I’m no good without you.”
“Me too,” I murmured, and his mouth crushed against mine in a frantic burst of lips and teeth. He kissed me as if he were holding on for dear life, frightened that I’d slip away again.
“I love you, Skylar. I love you. I love you,” he chanted against my lips, holding me tight.
I pulled away, breathless and overjoyed. I reached up and cupped his cheek. “I’m sorry for those horrible things I said to you at Sweet Lila’s. I was drunk, but that’s not an excuse.”
“You were hurting. I get that.” Robert kissed me again.
Say You're Mine: An Enemies to Lovers Romance (Southport Love Stories Book 4) Page 23
