I felt so stupid. Adrian had said right to my face that he wanted to sort things out with Sally, so why did I think he would want me? I had been in total denial.
“So, uh, what do you want to do?” Raphe said carefully, once I pulled my head up.
I stared out the window for a few minutes as Raphe aimlessly drove through the neighborhood.
What did I want to do? Adrian was with Sally… Did that mean I was going to say, “Okay, I give up, time to go home”? I thought about what I had originally planned to tell Adrian. Did Adrian being with Sally change anything I wanted to say to him?
No. It didn’t.
“I want to go back.” I said.
Raphe turned the car around and took us back to Adrian’s street. I wanted to talk to Adrian alone, so we waited until I saw her leave to go on a run. With a quick hug from Raphe for encouragement, I went up and knocked on Adrian’s door.
I needed to make this quick. I had no idea how long Sally would be gone.
Chapter Five
I rolled up my sleeves and headed to the kitchen to investigate the cupboards. When Sally moved in today, the first bag she brought over was groceries. With all the time off from work, I was beginning to enjoy cooking alongside her. I even made dinner when she went on her runs, occasionally.
Sally had slept at my place every night for the last month. I cleared out a closet for her to use, but after a lengthy discussion, we both agreed it made sense for her to move back in.
Jackson asked me every day now if he could be best man at the wedding. Even though I was ecstatic about Sally moving in with me again, I still chafed at the thought of marrying her.
I was about to begin searing a pork loin when there was a knock at the door. I quickly wiped my hands on my apron and went to answer it, wondering who was visiting this late.
I opened the door to see Danisha standing there, looking as beautiful as ever. She’d let her hair grow out naturally, and it bounced with her every movement. Before I could grasp the reality of her standing in front of me, she hugged me with all her might. I felt the air rush from my lungs.
“D-Danisha! What are you doing here?” I asked, pushing her at arm’s length.
She looked up at me. Her eyes were brimming with tears. I couldn’t help myself. I wrapped my arms around her, settling my chin on top of her head.
“I’ve missed you so much, Adrian,” she said into my shoulder.
“I’ve missed you, too.” I murmured.
I gently took her by the elbow and led her into the living room where we sat on the couch together.
“Is everything okay, Danisha?” I asked her.
I hoped she wasn’t in some kind of trouble. I wouldn’t put it past Victor to have some trick up his sleeve. He would eventually find out about the upcoming deal with Ozolinsh’s solar panels, and I knew when he did, he would want his revenge.
Danisha wiped her tears away. She took a deep breath and settled herself. “I needed to speak with you, Adrian, and it had to be face to face.”
The last time I had seen Danisha so distressed was when she had told me she was leaving me. I couldn’t begin to predict what she was going to tell me now.
“I’m in love with you, Adrian. I know we talked about the two of us needing to work out our feelings, and I have. I am in love with you and no one else. I knew it when I saw you in the Bahamas, and I realized it again when you saved me from Victor. I should have said something on the plane… I just didn’t know how to say it. But I’m saying it now. I want to be with you.”
I didn’t know what to say. Sally had just moved in a few hours ago and could be back from her run any minute.
“Danisha… I’m with Sally now. We’re giving our relationship another chance, and right now it is…doing well. I’m glad you’re not confused anymore, but I still need to see it through with Sally, whatever that means at this point. I’m sorry…”
It broke my heart to see Danisha like this. The last thing I wanted was to hurt her, but if I didn’t let my relationship with Sally run its course, I would question it for the rest of my life.
I didn’t want to ask her to leave, but it would be best for everyone if Danisha weren’t here when Sally got back. Thankfully, Danisha seemed to understand the need for urgency. She silently gathered herself together and headed for the door.
I tried to talk to her, to get a response of some kind, but she wouldn’t speak to me. She didn’t seem angry or upset. She seemed…resigned.
I closed the door behind her. My thoughts were muddled. I wanted to talk to Danisha, to tell her that I cared about her, but I knew she wouldn’t listen. Even if she wanted to talk to me, I didn’t know what I could say to make her understand that Sally and I had a history that couldn’t be swept aside so easily.
I started to walk back to the kitchen when there was another knock on the door.
***
This was a nightmare.
This couldn’t be real.
I made it all the way here, gathered up all of my courage to put my heart out there, and in less than a minute, it was destroyed.
I felt so humiliated.
I left Adrian’s house without saying goodbye or anything else. I had already said enough. I walked down the road in a daze until I saw Raphe’s van. One look at my face and he could tell it hadn’t gone the way I planned.
He hugged me, stroking my hair, saying nice things that I didn’t really hear. After a few minutes he stopped. He cupped my chin in his hand and looked me right in the eye.
“I’m gonna fix this, don’t worry.” He got out of the car.
I watched him stride purposefully towards Adrian’s house for a minute before my brain caught up with what was happening.
“Raphe! Raphe, wait!” I yelled, running after him. These stupid heels were really slowing me down. I stopped to yank them off.
“Raphe, don’t!” Raphe was almost to Adrian’s door.
I caught up with him right as he knocked. Adrian opened the door. He had a brief moment to be surprised when Raphe pulled his fist back and hit Adrian square in the gut.
Adrian doubled over, wheezing.
“You asshole. How could you turn her away? She loves you!” Raphe yelled at him.
“Raphe, stop!” I shouted when he raised his fist again.
Raphe turned to look at me and Adrian tackled him to the floor.
“You don’t deserve her!” Raphe grunted as he and Adrian wrestled.
Adrian was much bigger than Raphe, and although he was also much older, Adrian had more training. He quickly gained the advantage and pinned Raphe to the floor.
“You’re not mad at me because I broke her heart—you’re mad at me because she wants me and not you.” Adrian said with his hand on the back of Raphe’s neck.
I threw one of my heels at Adrian, hitting him squarely in the shoulder.
“That’s enough, Adrian. If I had known you were so petty, I wouldn’t have bothered coming!” I snapped. I was furious at Adrian for speaking to one of my friends like that. Raphe was just trying to defend me.
Adrian let go of Raphe and stood up. I went over to Raphe to look at his neck. It was red but not bleeding. I helped him up.
“Come on, Raphe. Let’s go. I think we’re done here,” I said, looking at Adrian.
I drove Raphe’s car to a hotel, where I booked us a room to crash in. The last two days had been mentally and emotionally exhausting. I kept playing the scene at Adrian’s house in my head over and over.
I got into one of the full-sized hotel beds and curled up in the fetal position. I didn’t think it was possible for my body to produce this many tears, but I was crying again. Raphe rolled over in his bed and looked at me.
“Do you need a hug?” He asked.
I nodded, and Raphe climbed into my bed. He wrapped his arms around me, telling me to cry as much as I wanted.
“Raphe?” I said, once I settled down. I looked up at him. His face was incredibly close.
“Yeah?”
/>
“Do you remember when you said you get lonely sometimes?”
Raphe was silent for a moment.
“I remember.” He said.
I put my hands in his hair, pulling his face even closer to mine.
“I feel lonely right now… Help me not feel lonely…”
Our lips met and we sank below the covers.
Chapter Six
I went to the freezer and got a cold pack for my head. I had slammed it on the ground pretty hard at some point, but I couldn’t remember when. The entire event was a blur. I heard the front door open and then shut. Sally was back from her run.
“Adrian? I don’t smell any dinner… Did the kitchen finally get the better of you for once?” she called jokingly from the foyer.
I quickly set the cold pack aside. I wasn’t sure how to tell Sally what had just happened. I wasn’t even sure what had just happened. Danisha had burst in here like a tornado, completely throwing me for a loop. I thought we had agreed that we both needed time to settle some things before we even considered getting back together. Now she was showing up at my front door unannounced? I was happy with Sally. I wasn’t convinced the story was over with her.
Sally obviously would not be pleased to know what had just transpired. She had always been a jealous person. Perhaps it was time for me to cut ties with Danisha. I didn’t want to lead her on. She would be fine. She certainly wouldn’t lack for love.
My mind kept returning to the image of her standing in my doorway.
She had stood there, tall and shapely, and even with tears in her eyes, she looked stronger than anyone I had ever known.
Sally came into the kitchen and opened the fridge, shaking me from my thoughts. She grabbed a pitcher of water and poured herself a glass. She gulped it down before she finally looked over to see me sitting at the breakfast bar.
“Jesus, Adrian. What happened?” she asked, gesturing to my various scrapes.
Did I tell her the truth in order to maintain the integrity of our relationship?
Or did I lie to the woman I loved to prevent an unnecessary three-day argument?
Nothing was or would be happening with Danisha, so why was it even worth mentioning?
“Adrian?” she asked again.
I panicked. “I, um, fell down the stairs to the wine cellar. I wanted to try it in a sauce and I tripped and fell. I think one of the steps is uneven.” I picked up the cold pack and pressed it to my head again.
Sally raised her eyebrow at me. Oh no, what if she didn’t buy it? What if Danisha had confronted her outside?
“Or, maybe you’re just clumsy,” she said teasingly.
I laughed nervously with her. I felt so guilty about rejecting Danisha and now about lying to Sally. Danisha looked so sad. I hated myself for doing that to her. Her friend was right, even if he was a complete jackass; Danisha was an amazing woman and I did not deserve her.
I didn’t think Danisha’s ‘friend’ deserved her either. He hadn’t simply been defending her. He clearly had an interest in Danisha. Perhaps they even had history together.
My gut churned. I didn’t like that idea.
“Perhaps we can order in instead, “ I suggested to Sally. I wasn’t hungry, but I wanted to change the subject.
The next day, I buried myself in work. I needed to distract myself from my personal life for a while, and working was the best way I knew how.
Around eight o’clock, Sally knocked on my office door. I pretended to be on the phone so she would leave. I waited until I was sure she had gone to bed and then I phoned Jack and asked him to come over. I could use someone else’s advice.
“So what do you think?” I asked him, once I’d summed everything up.
“I think we need more than beer.”
I laughed with him and poured us both a neat glass of whiskey. The situation was bleak, to be sure.
“The way that I see it, you need to stop tearing yourself up about what happened. You didn’t handle it the best, but that’s what happens sometimes. You can’t carry it around with you forever,” he told me, knocking back his whiskey in one quick swallow.
“Well, yes, but the question is how do I stop? I’ve never been so conflicted with a decision in my life. I have always known exactly what to do next, and now…” I drank my glass in a slow gulp, letting the liquor burn in my mouth before I swallowed it.
“You want to be with Sally, right?” Jackson asked.
“Yes. I would always wonder about us if I didn’t see things through.”
“Then stop feeling guilty about Danisha. You didn’t make her come all the way here. And stop thinking about her with that other guy. If you’re with Sally, it’s not your business.”
“I don’t think he’s actually with her, but they might….” I trailed off. Jack was right. I didn’t have any right to be upset about that.
“As for Sally, you can either own up to what you did and accept the consequences, which will be infinitely worse now that you’ve lied to her, by the way, or accept that what you did was wrong, hope she never finds out, and try to do better next time.”
Chapter Seven
Raphe and I took our time getting back to school. We stopped at hotels along the way, sharing a bed at night.
As we made our way back home to Massachusetts, I thought back to when Raphe and I had first gotten together. We had been in freshman orientation together at MIT. We were constantly on and off, but we always ended up gravitating back to one another after a break-up.
Raphe usually pursued me very passively, which had been a problem for me. I wanted a man that let me know he wanted me. It was why I had initially been attracted to Adrian.
Now Raphe was the one quite literally fighting for me, and Adrian was the one pushing me away.
When we finally got home, I saw Marisol’s car was gone. I guessed that she was out for the night, so I invited Raphe in for a drink. I still wasn’t ready to be alone yet.
“So, how crazy did I look in Colorado?” I asked after a few drinks.
“Not at all,” he said emphatically, shaking his head.
“Come on… I drove across the country and poured my heart out to a man twice my age after I saw him moving in with his ex-wife. I must have looked like a complete nutcase,” I said, finishing my drink.
“You really want to know what you looked like?” Raphe asked me.
“I know what I looked like.”
“You looked brave.” He said.
Sometimes Raphe knew exactly what to say to make me feel better.
“You looked like the girl I’m in love with,” he continued.
Wait. What?
“Danisha, we’ve had our ups and downs in our…relationship, but these past six months--since you left on spring break--I’ve come to realize how much you mean to me. I am in love with you and I want to give us a real shot. I know you’re dealing with a lot right now, so take your time to think about it.” Raphe kissed my forehead.
The next morning Raphe left early for class. I decided I was going to call off the rest of the week. Too much was going on for me to focus on school.
A few hours later, Marisol was shaking me awake.
“So, what happened?” she asked once I had rubbed the sleep from my eyes.
I gave her a brief rundown of everything, making sure to keep from mentioning what happened between Raphe and I for now.
“I can’t believe Raphe punched Adrian!” Marisol gasped.
“I know. I didn’t think it was like him,” I admitted.
A lot of things were different about Raphe now.
“Speaking of Raphe, I need to talk to you, Marisol. You know you’re my best friend and I wouldn’t ever want to hurt you, but something happened between Raphe and I. I was upset about Adrian and I was lonely… We slept together. I’m sorry, I hope you’re not too mad at me.” I was babbling a little bit at this point.
Marisol didn’t say anything for a few seconds. I cringed, waiting for her to freak out and start yell
ing at me. Eventually, she shrugged. “I understand why you did it. It wasn’t very nice of you, especially considering how you said you didn’t even like Raphe that much, but I understand.”
I mentally wiped the sweat from my brow. The worst was over.
“Thank you, Marisol. I appreciate it. Raphe actually asked me to be with him… I’d like your blessing.”
Marisol raised an eyebrow at me.
“Danisha, I understand you being so lonely that you sleep with Raphe. I don’t understand you being so lonely that you date Raphe.”
“What does that mean?” I asked defensively.
“It means last week you said Raphe latches on to whoever comes his way, and that’s what you’re doing right now. You’re latching onto Raphe,” Marisol said.
“No, I am not, Marisol. Raphe and I have always had chemistry, and he’s become a lot more forward. You’re just mad because he wants me and not you!” I felt Adrian’s words echo through me.
“Whatever, Danisha. I may have insecurity issues, but at least I’m not in denial. If you want my blessing for you and Raphe, you got it.” Marisol got up off of my bed and left me with my thoughts.
Although I decided to take the next few days off from classes, I threw myself into my work with the EyeRead. It was nearing its final developmental stages. Soon I would be able to demonstrate and patent it. Within five years, I could be outselling the iPhone with a twenty percent higher profit margin.
I didn’t care what Marisol thought. I felt good when I was with Raphe. When he came over at night after I was finished working, I finally felt as though I could relax. The nights he couldn’t come over, I worked until I literally fell asleep at my desk.
That was my life now, and I was okay with it.
Chapter Eight
It had been a week and I still hadn’t told Sally about Danisha showing up on our front step. At this point, I had waited too long to tell her. I took Jackson’s advice and did my best to accept the lie I told and move on from it.
Despite giving up some of my largest clients, my assistant Gavin, informed me that I had a waiting list of clients longer than his arm, if I wanted to pick up any new ones.
Hang Em' Up: A Bad Boy Sports Pregnancy Romance Page 73
