by Naomi West
“Not going to happen. And this whole mess is just proof. I like helping out from the outside. And we wouldn’t have gotten him otherwise.”
“Yeah, yeah. I guess I can give you a ride anyway.”
She punched him playfully on the arm. “Gee thanks.”
She slid into the front seat of his cruiser, much like she’d done many times before when they were on duty. “So, how’s it all looking?” she asked.
“Well, we got him on the kidnapping for sure. So many witnesses and having the victim directly to speak to. Hawk said he’d testify and everything, so nothing to worry about there. When we searched the place, we got a few guns. Looks promising. Found some drug paraphernalia and, the biggest of all?” He looked over at her and gave her a half smile.
“What else was there?”
“We brought in the drug dog. Just before we left, he made a hit. And look at this text I just got.” Joe showed her his phone.
There was a message from the K9 unit officer. “20 bricks of coke, 30 pounds of weed.”
She sucked in a breath. That was plenty to lock him up on charges of distribution for years. “Wow.”
“If we can also nail him on the murder, this guy is never getting out.”
“Let’s hope you do,” she said.
“Guns are heading to forensics as we speak.”
“Pretty sure the one in the bedroom could be a match.”
“Yeah. I hope so. That would make my job real easy. And since I don’t have a partner and all, I need easy.”
Alexa rolled her eyes. “Are you ever going to let it go?”
“Oh, sure, eventually. Like a few weeks after you come back.”
“No going to happen.”
“So, this Hawk guy. You, uh…”
“Don’t ask.”
“Uh oh. That bad?”
She pinched the bridge of her nose. She really didn’t know and that was the problem, since she doubted she’d be able to move on without something definitive, something that felt like closure.
“We sort of had a thing,” she admitted. “But it looks like it’s over.”
“The stress of all this was too much?”
“That’s not it. More like he hates cops and didn’t know I had been one until recently. I guess now he’s lumping me into the cop category, even if I’m not anymore.”
“Hates cops? Even after today?”
She shrugged. “I haven’t really talked to him much today, but I don’t see why things would suddenly change.”
“Well, because we’re locking up his brother’s killer and his nephew’s kidnapper.”
“But we messed it up the first time. I don’t know. Maybe he changed his mind. Who knows? I’m sure right now he’s focused on making sure Damian is okay and safe.”
“Right. And I wouldn’t be too torn up about. He’s got one heck of a record. Not really your type anyhow.”
She turned in her seat to raise an eyebrow at him. “And you know my type?”
“Sure. Wears a tie, works in an office, doesn’t mind housework or a wife with a strong will.”
She grew quiet for a moment. “I used to think that was my type. But those guys left me bored and unsatisfied. Hawk and the danger he comes with gave me a thrill like I’d never felt before.” Quite literally, she thought, and her face went warm. “He made things interesting and he challenged me. He doesn’t just accept the crappy parts of the world. He tries to have a good life despite them and does whatever he can to live around them. It’s a different way of life, but I like it. Maybe that’s why I know I’m done for sure on the force. I like being the rebel, playing by my own rules, not answering to anyone, but still catching the bad guy at the end of the day. It’s a rush like I never felt. And I have Hawk to thank for that.”
Joe looked over at her. “Oh wow. You got it bad. I had no idea. Fell for a biker ex-con. Man. Never thought I’d see the day.”
Joe pulled into Alexa’s driveway and she couldn’t help but look next door. The living room light was on.
“Well, I don’t know if you have seen that day. Like I said, he hates cops, and he might hate me, too. We’ll see.” She unbuckled her seatbelt and paused with her hand on the door handle. “Thanks for the lift. Felt kinda like we’re still at it.”
He nodded slowly. “I’ll let you know when I hear something.”
“You better.”
She wasn’t quiet about closing the car door or her house door. She wanted Hawk to hear her. She wanted him to call or text. Something to let her know what was going on. She sat in her living room for over an hour, eating ice cream, hoping and waiting. When she finally got up to put the empty carton in the trash, she saw that his lights were all out. She picked up her phone and tapped it so the screen came on. No missed calls or texts.
She trudged up the stairs to bed, feeling discouraged despite all that had gone right that day. She tried to keep her focus there. Damian was home safe. Hawk was home safe. Rucker Marshall and his “Jessica” were in jail and would stay there a long time. And for a moment she felt selfish for wishing that things hadn’t turned out better, at least between her and Hawk.
She’d solved a huge case. A case that she’d been working on for months that had been closed unexpectedly. Now they had pulled a huge drug pusher off the streets. They’d taken down a murderer. It was her biggest case as a PI and if she leveraged this right, she’d have a ton of business.
But none of that seemed to matter much right now. She wanted to be curled up in Hawk’s arms instead of alone in her bed. She wanted to know he would be there for her like he had been, that he would take her into his arms and kiss her and make love to her. She longed for him, and the more she thought about it the more it tore her apart.
She went to bed but ended up staring at the ceiling for a long time, hoping against hope that tomorrow her phone would ring.
Chapter 26
When Alexa woke to the sound of ringing, her heart leapt into her throat and she scrambled to answer it. When she looked at the screen it was only Joe.
“Hey,” she said, trying not to let the disappointment be obvious in her tone.
“Heard from forensics.”
“And?”
“The gun is a match. Rucker Marshall killed Hugh Millard. Chief is playing it off like it was a miracle that new evidence surfaced leading us to the killer, rather than admit he closed the case too soon.”
“Of course he did. But whatever. We got him and that’s all that counts. When’s the trial?”
“Hasn’t been scheduled yet. We’re still choosing a prosecutor and have to give him a chance to get a lawyer.”
“Will you need us both?”
“Yup. That a problem?”
“Of course not. Thanks for the update.”
She hung up the phone and stared at it. She could just text Hawk, but that wouldn’t open the door to much conversation. She could call him, and that would be a step better, but still a little distant. Or she could just go over there and talk to him face to face. As she battled between how to get him onboard with the new information she absently strolled into the kitchen. Maybe food, she thought, thinking of what might constitute a peace offering.
Alexa went to her kitchen and whipped up a batch of bean soup. She fluffed her hair and did her makeup and when she thought she looked okay she walked over with the soup. She knocked and waited, her heart thudding loudly in her ears.
Hawk looked half asleep when he pulled open the door. “Hey.”
“Hey.” She held up the container. “I made you some food. And I have some news.”
“Thanks.”
She heard Damian whine from the kitchen. Hawk stepped away to let her in and turned from her to see what he needed. When she stepped into the hall, she saw Damian reaching for her, letting out a steady cry. She stood there, not sure what to do. Hawk put the soup in the kitchen, picked Damian up, and brought him to her.
“Want to hold him? I think he missed you.”
“Of
course.” She took Damian and cuddled him close.
“What’s the news?”
“Forensics confirmed that the gun we found at Rucker’s house was the gun used to kill Hugh.”
Hawk nodded slowly, like it was taking a long time to sink in. “So he really did it. He killed my brother.”
“Apparently over drugs or those diamonds. Or both maybe.”
“I can’t believe Hugh got mixed up with that guy. He should have just kept stealing cars.” He glanced at her, then corrected himself. “The legal way.”
“I know what you meant.”
“Thanks for letting me know, and thanks for the food. I’ll bring the container back when it’s gone.”
“No rush.”
Hawk reached over and took Damian back. He started crying, but Hawk bounced him and swayed him. “So, we’ll both testify?”
“Yes. The trial isn’t scheduled yet, but I’d guess it’ll be several weeks or months from now.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
He stood there, watching her like he was just waiting for her to go but she couldn’t leave just like that.
“Hawk, I want to say I’m sorry again. I know I lied and kept things from you that I shouldn’t have. I never dreamed I’d fall for you, but I have. I’m not a cop anymore, and part of that, I realized, is because I like the rebellious nature of being a PI. You brought that out in me. I could never go back to doing things by the book like they have to. I like making up my own rules. Just remember that I’m the same Alexa you spent all that time with, who you had feelings for, too. I haven’t changed. Now you just know my past and what brought me here in the first place. But you’re what’s kept me here. You’re the reason I want to be here. I loved taking care of Damian and seeing you every day. I miss him. I really hope you can forgive me. You said how much it hurt to be wrongfully accused. I’m not saying that I didn’t act deceitfully. I wasn’t honest with you and I own up to that. But don’t hold against me something that wasn’t done with the intent to hurt anyone, especially you. Give me the mercy you wished you would have gotten.”
“I understand,” he said.
Then he reached out to grab the door’s edge and slowly pulled it shut. She got the hint and stepped back off his porch. She walked back across the lawn to her house, her head hanging low, her chest about to implode. She couldn’t stand the rawness of it, of how much it hurt to be rejected by someone she cared for so much.
When she got home she wandered around aimlessly. She thought about working on a few projects, but nothing interested her much. Any time she tried to change her mind to something other than Hawk and Damian it ended up coming right back to moments she’d spent with them.
Eventually, she sat down with a hot cup of tea and just cried. There was nothing else to do but to give in to it. The thought that kept running through her mind was that she’d screwed up. She’d lost him forever. The man who had seemed like her total opposite at first, but who had brought out of her this other part of herself. A part she hadn’t even known she was missing, but was now so vital to her. She thrived on the feeling of adrenaline pumping through her veins, and she’d gotten used to feeling it when Hawk was around.
For days, Alexa couldn’t bring herself to leave the house. She moved from her bed to the couch and back again and couldn’t even initiate an interest in work. The dishes piled high in the sink, her laundry became a heap on her floor, and she stopped showering. And she didn’t care. Nothing seemed worth it. Nothing seemed to matter. Finally, on the fourth day, she got an idea and after showering and preparing a healthy breakfast rededicated herself to getting back on track.
“Hi, this is Alexa Reynolds,” she said when the woman answered the phone. “You just sold me a house not too long ago.”
“Of course! Hi Alexa. Are you loving your new home?”
“That’s why I’m calling. I need to sell it.”
“Sell it? But you’ve only been there a few months.”
“I know, and it’ll be a real loss, but something has come up and there’s no way around it, Alexa said. “I can’t live here anymore.”
“Did something happen? Is there something wrong with the house?”
“No. Nothing at all. The neighbor is great, too. I just… need to be in a different city. It’s hard to explain, but it’s related to my job, and there’s not much I can say about it.”
“Ah, I understand. Well, I hate to say, but I think you’ll end up losing some money. With the closing costs, and all the transfer fees, and commission—”
“I know and I wish there were some other way around it, but I’ll just have to take what I can get.”
“Sure. I understand. Well, I can stop over later tomorrow to take new photos, and we can set up the listing.”
“Sounds perfect. Thank you.” Alexa hung up the phone, then went to the basement. She still had many boxes that she hadn’t unpacked yet. The ones she had unpacked were flattened and resting against the basement wall. She picked up the stack and took them upstairs with an air of dejection.
Chapter 27
Hawk looked out the window for the hundredth time. So much of him wanted to go over to Alexa’s. He couldn’t deny that he missed her. And Damian seemed to be missing her badly, too. Every time someone came to the door, he looked up and started reaching for the door.
He had sold two of the diamonds and that had gotten him a handsome hundred grand on an online auction. He had enough money now that he didn’t have to worry about working and he planned to take that time off to regroup, to be with Damian, and to find a new babysitter. But instead he’d spent most of it milling around the house listlessly with no focus. He played with Damian and took care of him, but his mind seemed to always be elsewhere.
A few times he’d walked to the door, put his hand on the knob, and turned it. But before he could pull it open, he always walked away. He couldn’t get the lump out of his stomach. For months, she had been in his house, taking care of his baby, sleeping with him. He had been with her, and he hadn’t even known about her past. If that was true, perhaps it meant that it wasn’t a big part of her anymore. It didn’t come into her day-to-day life. She worked from home doing her PI work, and if she interacted with the police, it was nothing major.
When he really thought about it he had to admit that her past, her whole set up of moving to be close to him, to investigate Hugh’s death, all of her deceit, had ended up being for a good cause. Can the ends justify the means, then, he kept wondering.
She’d found Damian quickly after the kidnapping, and though he wasn’t sure if her involvement had caused it in the first place she had done all she could to get him back, and had succeeded. With all of his distrust of the police, circumstances had forced him to reexamine his prejudices.
He paced across his living room floor off to one side Damian played with some blocks.
Other than the obvious complications involved in dating a cop, there were other considerations. Trust was a two-way street and he hadn’t been straightforward with her either. Blame went both ways, and he had to admit that if their positions were reversed things looked quite similar, no matter which perspective you were using. But what about his MC? They didn’t always uphold the law, and having a PI – however rogue – on his arm was a contentious issue.
He picked up his phone and texted Blade. “What’s the club’s verdict on Alexa?”
He waited for a minute, then got a response.
“She’s a cool chick. I told her to come by with you anytime.”
Hawk stared at the text in shock. He had invited her to the headquarters? Women weren’t always allowed in there. Even with their men. It took time for them to be accepted.
He sent back, “Thanks.”
“Any chick who does all that for her man is okay by us. And Dugout is hoping she can get him out of a few speeding tickets.”
Hawk chuckled. He looked out the window again and saw a woman walk up to Alexa’s door. The woman looked slightly familiar, but he coul
dn’t place her. Alexa came to the door a moment later and seemed happy to see the stranger.
The longing in his chest stirred. For almost an hour he paced back and forth, looking to and fro, and at last the door opened again and the other woman came out and walked down to her car where she pulled out a large sign. He suddenly recalled the face; it was the woman who had sold Alexa the house. She walked the sign to the end of the driveway and stuck it in the ground. Then she got back in her car and drove off.
Hawk stared at the “For Sale” sign like it was a death sentence. She was selling the house. Moving away. She didn’t want to be near him any longer. Maybe this whole time, he’d been thinking about it wrong. She wasn’t sitting over there, heartbroken, waiting for him to come and save the day. He sat down in the living room and stared blankly at Damian for a while. He crawled over and held up a block to Hawk.
