I’ll see the purchase on your credit card statement later in the month, and I will think of your naked torso, the way it looked sliced into a small sliver of vertical skin through the dressing room curtain and I will masturbate to the image.
But that is the future and this is now.
Now we are at the bar, the party in full swing. I know a few people here through you––not that they would know me––and that helps make me feel less awkward. I go to the bar and order a cranberry and orange juice, no alcohol. The bartender, a woman with more tattoos than skin, gives me a weird look then smiles, tells me “no charge.” I realize she thinks I’m a designated driver, someone who will drive the drunks home at the end of the night. That means she thinks I have friends. That I fit in with this crowd somehow.
It makes me smile. A look, I have been told, that is not a good one for me. I have more teeth than the normal thirty-two. Two full sets of wisdom teeth have entered my jaw at odd angles, pushing the others out of the way and crowding them together, side over side in my mouth like rotting yellow tombstones. Usually I keep my mouth closed, but sometimes something tickles my fancy and I smile.
To my own detriment.
I can see the bartender shying away from me, her gaze suddenly anywhere but on me. I take that as my cue to move on.
I see you standing in the corner with other people. You are laughing at something someone has said. You have perfect teeth: White, shiny and straight. You stop laughing and your gaze drifts. I, forever objective, can see where your eye has settled. On the girl. The one you like. The one whose party this is. You are staring at her breasts as they strain against her top. It’s made of sheer fabric. You can see her bra and the outline of her nipples––round and dark as tarnished silver dollars––through the material.
She doesn’t feel your eyes boring a hole in her back.
You don’t feel my eyes eating you alive.
And so it goes.
* * *
Later. Much later, she leaves with a guy. I’ve seen his picture online. I believe he is the “it’s complicated” from her Facebook relationship status. You’ve waited until the end of the night, hoping she’ll get drunk and flirt with you, but it doesn’t happen. She wastes all of her young charms on the guy she leaves with. He’ll never love her. Not the way she wants him, too. But she doesn’t know that. And if someone tried to tell her, she’d only laugh in their face.
You look so sad when she leaves. I want to comfort you, but I know you would never let me. Why would you? You don’t know me. So I watch you suffer instead. You finish your drink. Order another from the bartender. Down it.
You are slightly drunk. You shouldn’t be driving. Anyone can see this. I watch you head for the door and then, my feet moving of their own volition, I follow.
Suddenly, I feel the heat rise in my face and neck, the skin suffused with blood and something else.
Lust.
I know this feeling and it can only mean one thing.
It’s come earlier than I expected.
It’s…time.
It’s…complicated.
* * *
I’m always on the Internet.
I’m like a Great White Shark.
If I stop moving, I die.
THE DREAMCATCHER
By Nate Kenyon
Jeremy Foxx stood at the kitchen window, flicking the edges of the photo he held against his breast. He watched as the sheet of rain swept across the hay field and up the sloping lawn to the house.
Mom always says a glass of milk is good for the nerves. The scrawny blond boy in wool socks and long underwear slipped away from the window and put the photo on the counter to pour a cup. The carton shook and a little milk slopped onto the kitchen table. He stared at the spilled milk and tried very hard not to think about what was waiting for him upstairs.
His grandmother had gone with his mother to Maine Medical Center. Apparently he was too young to go to go with them, but old enough to stay by himself for three hours. He was half-inclined to prove them wrong by breaking something. But then he would have to “face the music.” That was no big deal for movie tough guys like Bruce Willis, but Bruce Willis had never met Jeremy’s grandmother. When she yelled at you it was like sticking your hand in a hornet’s nest and holding it there while they did what came naturally.
He took his milk into the living room and plopped down into a chair. Bugs hit someone over the head with a hammer on the television, and that helped a little. But he couldn’t seem to focus on the cartoon. He kept looking at the ceiling above his head.
It’s waiting for me.
Immediately he stuffed the thought into his handy mental drawer and locked it. Everyone gets jumpy sometimes when they’re alone. It was, in the immortal words of his father, NO BIG DEAL.
But adults weren’t always right. Some said the way to beat something like that was to stare it down, but these were undoubtedly the same people still sleeping in a room with an especially strong nightlight.
The thing was, he’d never actually seen the coat tree move. At first he thought his mother was responsible for it. But why she would move the thing two or three feet to the right or left made no sense to him, and when he asked her if she was coming into his room in the middle of the night, she denied it.
He couldn’t very well tell his grandmother. He knew exactly what she would say: Don’t you go and upset your mother, not in her condition. It was hard enough when your father left, and now this. She needs her strength.
The coat tree was really a sculpture that Jeremy's Dad had brought back from a trip to Senegal years ago. It was carved from a rich mahogany and polished to a shine. Two legs and a long tail in back helped it stand up straight; the fat belly of the thing tapered up to a round ball that was much too small for a proper head. Two upraised arms made it look like a football referee signaling a touchdown.
There were really three places to hang things, the two arms and the little head in the middle. But when you put a hat on the head, the coat tree began to look a little too human. And if you hung your jacket around it, that was even worse. Alone and naked, the coat tree gave only the barest suggestion of human form, but with a little help it changed into a potbellied troll squatting in the corner, waiting to pounce.
When he told his friend Maria, she said that it must be possessed. She described a show she had seen on the Discovery Channel about primitive cultures. “You should get someone to come look at it,” she said. “An expert could tell you right away if there was a spirit inside.”
He didn’t know anything about any experts. He tried to recall what his dad had said about the coat tree when he brought it home. But it didn’t make any sense.
Jeremy realized he had forgotten his father’s photo on the kitchen counter. He jumped up and ran to get it, and a familiar feeling of relief washed over him when he held it in his hands. Flick, flick, his thumb absently moved a corner up and down as he looked into his father’s face. He forced himself to concentrate. Then he tucked the photo in the waistband of his long underwear and went back to the living room.
Bugs Bunny had given way to a talk show that featured a fat woman with a microphone and a bunch of bigger, fatter people who yelled at each other. A minute later the channel went to a commercial about a diaper that would make old people feel more secure.
That was when he heard the noise above his head.
A gust of wind shook more drops off the big oak tree near the window. The builders had placed the house right on the edge of a valley overlooking White Falls, so that if you looked out the back windows you could see for what seemed like miles. Below the porch the ground fell off at a steep angle.
Now he was thinking about different things. How, for example, theirs was the only house within three miles, and how, if he needed help, it would take someone a long time to get here. That was assuming they knew he was in trouble and came right away.
He padded catlike up the stairs and paused at the top. His bedroom was at the far e
nd of the hall, the door partway open. He couldn’t remember if he’d left it that way.
When he tiptoed down the hall and peered through the shadows, the coat tree was standing in the middle of the room, halfway between its accustomed corner and his bed.
Jeremy stared. The coat tree stared back, its bulbous face as smooth and shiny as black ice.
He could feel his heart thudding so hard it shook his scrawny chest. His grandmother had come up here just before they left to use the bathroom like she always did before a car trip, and before she came back down she must have moved it.
But why would she do such a thing?
I don’t know, but she did, okay? Because coat trees can’t move by themselves.
Okay. Fine. So he would just go back downstairs and watch TV. After he put it back in the corner, of course. Because if he didn’t do that, he would be a big sissy. It was bad enough that all the kids made fun of him because his daddy had run away. Maybe he grew an inch already this year, but that didn’t mean much if you couldn’t even go into your own room and move a stupid sculpture back where it belonged.
Jeremy stepped through the open door. His window was open a crack; he caught a hint of that metallic smell that came with a summer storm. The sky had darkened outside, deepening the shadows in the corners.
Taking a deep breath, he grabbed the coat tree by the neck and lifted it off the floor. The wood was slippery, but it was just wood.
He was almost to the corner when the coat tree wriggled in his hand.
He dropped it like he had been scalded and ran back into the hall, slamming the bedroom door shut.
Oh god oh god oh god. It hadn’t really moved. His hands were sweaty, and it had slipped, that was all. Just slipped.
I’m not going back in there, no way.
He cracked open the door and pressed his face to the gap. The coat tree leaned against the wall, one of its legs sticking rigidly up into the air. He watched it for a minute, but nothing happened.
Jeremy sighed. His hand went to the photo tucked into his waistband, and the callus on his thumb found the dog-eared corner and flicked it up and down, up and down.
As he made his way back down the hall to the stairs, his mother’s voice from this morning popped up in his head. I have to go to the hospital today so they can run a few more tests. I need Gramma there. You’ll be okay, won’t you?
Jeremy imagined a very large, very mean-looking needle sinking into her belly. Hospital tests meant needles and knives and machines that made terrible noises as if they were slowly sucking out your insides. He had seen a picture once of a machine that had a hole in the middle the size of a culvert, and in the picture there was a person stuck halfway into the hole. It looked like it was eating the person from the head down. Gulp, there goes the hair, and the eyes, which must have tasted pretty good to a machine like that, because in the next picture the person had been almost all the way inside. The only things left were the person’s legs and feet, sticking out like the wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz when the house fell on her.
He hadn’t worried too much this morning. He simply pushed the whole conversation in his handy mental drawer, slid it shut and threw away the key.
Why had the drawer just slid open again with a bang?
I touched it. The thought floated to the surface as he reached the foot of the stairs. For a moment he almost remembered what his father had said about the coat tree, but it slipped away again and he frowned in frustration. He had a terrible memory. His mother always teased him about it. You’d forget your head if it wasn’t screwed on, she would say when he was younger, or, how’s my little absentminded professor this morning? Sometimes she would sneak up and tickle him until he gasped for mercy, and then she would give him a kiss on the forehead and say, that’s to keep all those happy thoughts inside, where they belong.
* * *
He watched some more TV for a while. The clock on the wall seemed to be standing still. They had been gone not quite two hours now, though it seemed like ten, and if he could just last a little while longer without thinking about anything, he would be all right.
Wolverine was trying to slice up a bad guy on The X-Men, normally one of his favorite shows. Now he wondered why he had never noticed how ugly Wolverine really was. These were mutants, after all. Mutants were not like real people. They were taken over by something terrible that would either make them into freaks or kill them.
It had started to rain again. He turned on all the downstairs lights and that helped a little. But soon it would be getting really dark. This was when his father used to come home from work, before he had run away. Blink. One moment he was there, the next he was gone.
One hand on his father’s photo, Jeremy got up to fix himself a TV dinner. This time he clearly heard, over the pattering of raindrops, a sound like a small puppy scrambling through the upstairs bedroom.
The rain began to fall harder as he gained the stairs once again and faced the hallway. The wind picked up, rocking the house on its foundation. It was now as dark as night outside.
The door to his bedroom was open wide.
I touched it, he thought again, and shivered. Without warning an old, forgotten memory came back to him; he was not quite six years old, and he and his father stood on the porch looking out over the valley to the lights of town. This was perhaps only a month before his father disappeared. He had asked about the coat tree, and his father said it’s a dream catcher, son. A very wise old man made it for me. It’s supposed to catch all those mean little thoughts that only come out when you’re sleeping.
Jeremy thought of a big net catching all his nasty thoughts and letting the nice ones through. Something like that couldn’t be bad, could it? He had kept it in his room all these years, and he had hardly dreamed at all. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a nightmare.
His throat made a dry clicking sound when he swallowed. The darkness made it almost impossible to make anything out in his bedroom. It’ll be standing right where I left it, leaning against the wall with its stupid ugly leg sticking up in the air like one of those dead animals on the side of the road.
And it was. When he reached the door he could just make it out through the gloom. He let out a great, shaky sigh, and was alarmed to discover he was close to tears. Stupid old coat tree. He stepped into the room and felt for the light switch. Stupid little sissy....
Standing there in the dark with his hand on the switch, he was struck once again with a memory of his father, in a brown jacket and corduroys (the ones with the patches on the knees), the smell of his pipe drifting away as he stared out over the valley. Jeremy had asked, does it ever get full? What happens then?
It has to find some other place to put them, I suppose.
Jeremy screwed his eyes shut tight and tried to close the drawer again on the memory, but this time it refused to budge. He opened his eyes and turned on the light, bathing the room in a soft yellow glow.
The dream catcher was looking at him.
Eyes had formed within the swirls. A bump that may have been a nose thrust itself out below the eyes; and then a slit for a mouth like the gills of a fish. The twisted legs had gained the look of flesh, and the arms now hung down at its sides. The eyes gained definition and wetness, the nose grew long and pointed, the cheekbones climbed upward and settled, as the lower part of its face sagged inward around a tiny jaw. The fleshless hole of a mouth lengthened and stretched.
The dream catcher turned its creaking head in the shadows. The little twisted man made of wood flexed its limbs.
A bolt of lightning split the dark sky. Jeremy screamed and staggered backward, hitting the door with his shoulder and slamming it shut, closing himself in. He screamed again, soundlessly this time, screaming for help that would not come, screaming in the face of such an impossible thing.
His father’s face.
The dream catcher opened its mouth and darted forward. Two fangs of dark wood slipped out from under fleshless lips.
>
Jeremy searched frantically for the corner of the photo with his hand and felt it crumble into dust. He pressed back against the closed door, as if trying to force himself through.
There was nowhere left to go.
* * *
The rain stopped and a car pulled up to the silent house. Two women got out; one of them, the older one with silver hair pulled back in a tight bun, helped the other, pale-faced and thin, out of her seat. They moved together up the walk toward the front door.
At the back of the house, a small, dark shape wriggled out of a half-open window and into the big oak tree. It swung down to the ground and darted across the lawn and over the drop.
The wind picked up and the oak tree shook its thick pelt of leaves. Up in the corners of the lonely bedroom the shadows deepened, layer upon layer, reaching out to where little twelve-year old Jeremy stood, arms up and outstretched like a football referee signaling a touchdown. He had grown a wooden tail, which helped him stand upright. He was waiting to catch that first bad thought, his mouth frozen in a soundless scream.
KRISTALL TAG
By Holly Newstein
Esme awoke to the rumble of tanks grinding through the rubble strewn on the street from the bombs. She opened the heavy shutters just an inch or two and peered through the dusty, cracked window. She saw the red star stenciled on the sides of the tanks, and the soldiers marching and firing into doorways. Her eyes filled with tears, but she angrily knuckled them away.
She was a fourteen-year-old orphan in shattered Berlin. Her father had died at Stalingrad three years ago. Two weeks ago, her mother died on the street when a shell exploded the building she was passing, crushing her and four other hapless souls under the rubble. Esme had cried all that night, but now tears would only get in her way.
Mister October - Volume Two Page 33
