by Anna Collins
“I’m glad you are here with me. I haven’t been the same since my wife told me I was not marriage material. She only agreed because she wanted to get her hands in my pockets. I thought she really loved me. I was foolish, but I was trying to grasp on anything that would give me the family I missed. I need to digest this. If it’s all the same to you, I would like you to come to bed with me. We can cuddle and be close to one another without doing anything,” Casper said with his two hands on top of his head like he had a pounding headache.
I didn’t want to make a grown man cry. He was getting in touch with his feelings and the way he felt about his brother. He broke down but then picked himself back up by his bootstraps. I’d never had a man ask me to cuddle. If I didn’t know I cared for him deeply before, then all of that changed with the way he gave me his heart.
“I don’t think you’re going to have to do much arm-twisting. I would like to feel you behind me. I don’t want to give you ideas. I just think it would be nice to have your arms wrapped around me in a lover’s embrace. Skin to skin; it’s the best way to do this. I never really was into wearing clothes to bed. I’m sure it’s going to be difficult for you to stay completely still. I’m not suggesting you’re weak, but I guess a certain part of your anatomy will find being that close to me hard to ignore,” I said as I took him by the hand and led him up to the safety of the bedroom.
“There are times I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I think I need to get rid of some of these demons hanging around my neck. They say it’s good for the soul to let it out. I’ve already done it with words. I think Howling at the Moon will help cleanse of any guilt I might have concerning my brother’s death. It might even be a cathartic way to say goodbye to the love I had or at least I thought I had with my wife,” Casper said as he walked into the bedroom and opened up the window.
It was still freshly in my mind; the way he had buried himself from behind into me against the window. I could see him doing it like a phantom ghost waking to give me a reason to feel like my legs were going to give out from underneath me.
He screamed, and it was a bloodcurdling kind of scream able to make people believe somebody was dying. He continued to let his anger boil to the surface until he was hoarse and barely able to speak.
I put my hands around his waist, pressing my cheek against his vigorous and capable back. I closed my eyes and hung on until he finally let out a sigh of contentment from letting it go. I didn’t think it was going to be that easy. He was deluding himself if he thought screaming or saying it out loud was going to let him put it behind him. He needed to deal with this in a constructive way. I thought about him writing down his thoughts. He might find it kind of girlie to have a diary, but it could do him good.
“Far be it for me to tell you how to live your life, Casper. I want you to use me as a lifeline and reach out when you feel you’re falling into deep depression. I guess you have had bouts of that. It stems from losing your brother and your wife. I can be that for you, but only if you allow me to take this role on,” I said as I slipped underneath the covers.
I hooked my finger in his direction, and he came over and joined me. The warmth of our skin was intimate. The window was open, and I could hear the waves crashing against the rocks down below. I didn’t get to indulge lying on the beach completely naked and letting the rays tan my body the natural way. I thought about doing it tomorrow morning, but I got the feeling he was going to need me as some kind of buffer between him and the other man. I would do what I could to keep things from escalating. There was just so much I could do.
“I’ve got a new girl now, and you’re nothing like my wife. You don’t castrate me for my feelings. I don’t feel like I have to bottle everything up. There are no secrets between us. I’ve told you everything, but I’m sure there are a few things I have left out. We have to leave something to keep things interesting,” Casper said and nestled up behind me with his cock now showing a bit of life.
“I’m not the kind of girl that’s going to tell you I have a headache, but I am exhausted. This can wait until both of us are 100%. If I were to succumb this easily, I doubt I would be able to keep my eyes open. Don’t you think it would be kinda weird to have me fall asleep on you? I do wonder if you would continue just so you could get your rocks off,” I said giggling under my breath, but amazingly, interested in what his response was going to be.
“I don’t see that happening, Angel. If I were to take you right here and give you a reason to open up those legs, I swear you would not fall asleep on me. I don’t really feel like doing much, though. You drained me, but you wouldn’t know it from looking at a particular part of me. I think you’ve heard this before. This thing sometimes has a mind of its own. I can’t explain it, and this is something every man goes through when they are near the object of their desire,” Casper said as I had him nuzzling my neck and causing me to shiver in place.
It was a balmy evening, and the only cold air was coming from across the ocean. I felt that when I was in the hot tub and I was getting a brief flicker on my skin from the window being open.
I increased my pressure on the fingers wrapped around my waist. He squeezed back, and I felt like nothing could take us away from this moment. I was no longer going to settle for second best. To do that would be unfair to both parties. The solution was simple. I found someone who made me a better Angel. I had been visited by two climaxes that left me hoping there would be a second performance in the very near future.
“You have always been full of yourself. I think this is a defense mechanism to keep people from getting close. You’re afraid that anybody who claims to love you will leave you. I don’t know how this is going to go between us. I don’t know if this is forever, but I couldn’t live without you. I know you’ve already said that, but I thought it was necessary for me to do the same,” I said feeling a bit claustrophobic, but there was no way I could tell him I wanted my space.
I wasn’t the one to mention cuddling, but I did nothing to deflect it. I was just going to have to wait until he was asleep and perform a maneuver to stretch out on my side of the bed. It seemed juvenile. I didn’t want to know how he would take me pushing him away.
“I do like this, but I forgot I also like to be in my own space. I don’t want to offend you, but I don’t think I can stay in this position for long,” Casper said.
I believed I was going to hurt his feelings, but I guess he didn’t think the same thing. It was true about women and men being different on so many levels. He turned over and lay there with his hands on his chest, the sheet barely covering the part of him that made a tent in the fabric.
This was a big difference between a man and a woman. I could hide my sexual longings, but a man was pretty much obvious from the moment he got an erection. It was possible to use a pharmaceutical aid to get them there. I didn’t see he was going to have that problem. Just barely touching him had risen the phoenix from the ashes.
I could’ve easily put my finger on the trigger of that loaded gun. I’d already done it, but seeing him as he was about to reach that point was mind blowing. I liked I could witness it and watch, as he lost himself in the pleasure. He was a strong man, and there was no doubt he was a perfect lover; it was a good indication we were compatible. I had never had anyone know my body as he did. I think I would be doing myself harm letting him go. Losing him was not something I was willing or prepared to do.
Chapter 18
I woke up thinking I was dreaming and turned to see he was watching me. I found it a little creepy, but also quite endearing to know he couldn’t take his eyes off of me. I slapped his chest playfully, hearing him grunt his reply and then chase me into the bathroom. We took a shower together, and every time he tried to reach for me, I would push him away.
“You can’t tell me you don’t want more. I may be pretty obvious, but you can’t hide any more than I can. Being naked, allows me to see your excitement clinging to your inner thigh,” Casper said as he cupped my mound and
penetrated to see I was quite aroused.
“This is another difference between the two of us. I might be hot for you, but I can let it simmer until I am a tiger about to pounce on her prey. We could do this, but we could continue to tease each other until tonight when we can have simultaneous orgasms. I’m going to leave it in your hands. Do you want instant gratification, or would you want to feel something more of a spiritual connection?” I said hoping he was going to have to think about it, and that’s exactly what he did.
“I know you want me to say I can wait. I’m going to do it for you on the promise that you follow through on your end. I want to see you turn into the wild animal you mentioned. I want to see you come unhinged and be a woman who doesn’t take no for an answer. If I had my way, I would turn you around and take you from behind so I can see that fine ass of yours. I’m not going to do it, though. However, I am going to continually whisper sweet nothings all day long. You will never find a time you’ll be able to rest without naughty images in your head,” Casper said as he climbed out and left me to ponder how talking dirty to me with people all around was going to affect me.
“I think I would enjoy that. Let’s see which of us will be able to stand it and which of us will fall victim to the other. I want to be a wild animal. To be hell bent on having your body. We have business to do. I hope you have given some thought on how you are going to deal with this man. I get the feeling Frederick can’t be trusted. I took the liberty while you were getting the shower ready to call the hospital he had mentioned. It took a bit of doing, but as I found out, a man resembling his description is on the fourth floor indeed. All I had to do was give the woman on the phone, the basic idea of his injuries. She was reluctant to speak to me since I wasn’t family, but I convinced her I was a reporter and she was denying me the right of free press. I threatened to do an exposé. She caved in and gave me what we needed,” I said with a little voice inside me saying we were playing with fire.
“I didn’t realize you were some kind of private investigator. I’m glad you’re working with me rather than against me. I do need to talk to him and having you there might prevent him from doing something he’s going to regret,” Casper said.
“I’m sure your go-to move is going to be to bribe him in some way. I don’t know if that’s going to work. Frederick was very clear about his motivation. The man’s name on the registration at the hospital is Blake Owens. I don’t know if that’s his real name or some kind of alias. He probably has several aliases,” I said as we had breakfast on the fly.
I had made something with the leftovers of several different dishes in the fridge. I thought it was pretty ingenious of me to mix and match different foods to help us have energy for a new day.
“Do you know how difficult it is for me to not use money to get what I want? You saw how it worked with Frederick. The money was only part of it, and the name I gave him was more influential than I could ever be. I don’t feel good about giving the name up so quickly, but Gibson’s priorities concerning his family won’t make him many friends. It makes me sick to my stomach. We were what I considered friends at one time, but he has this funny way of stabbing somebody in the back. I think on some small level I recognized myself in him, and this was the reason why we got along so well,” Casper said as we once again found ourselves in the jeep.
“I’ve been thinking about it. I’m not sure it was a good idea to give him up so easily either. You honestly have grave reservations about going to jail. I don’t blame you, but I think you would be able to survive better than most. You are adamant, and you have this way about you that makes people believe that you can get things done. It must be easy for you to negotiate terms of somebody’s surrender in the boardroom. I see the same trait coming out of you when you’re faced with a difficult decision,” I said thinking back to the way he was vulnerable enough to wear my underwear and confess his sins about his brother.
“I’ve never been at home on the streets, but I’ve learned the hard way I can survive. I have a survivors’ instinct inside me, and I think I can say the same thing for you. You may not know this, but deep down you have a fire inside you cannot put out. It’s the flame making it hard for some guys to get close to you without feeling they’re going to get burned. I saw being with you a risk I was willing to take,” Casper said as we drove down the streets with him giving customary waves to the locals.
It was quite apparent he knew some of them better than others. He had stated so eloquently he was a man who liked his privacy. I suppose, I shouldn’t have been surprised by how easily he had gotten along with those who called this place their home. He really did stand out like a sore thumb, but those of different nationalities had become something of a mainstay for this island paradise.
“It was inevitable you would get to know these people. You spend a lot of time on this island, and it goes to show just what kind of effect you have on people. I do like you’re not rigid in your ways. You compromise, and you try new things like what I had you do last night. I know it wasn’t something you regularly do. You have no idea how you playing along made me feel. You didn’t try to fight me. You didn’t try to turn the tables. I think you liked it and maybe a little bit too much,” I said as we arrived at the hospital.
This was a newly constructed medical facility. I could smell the antiseptic in the air as we walked through the double door. Somebody was screaming, and a janitor was using a mop to clean up what looked like blood on the floor. I already had the man’s room number, and there was no point stopping at the desk to inform them we were here to see someone. They looked like they were busy enough not to notice anybody coming and going.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen when we come face to face. I can only hope he will listen to reason like Frederick did. I do know how to read somebody to figure out what their darkest wish and desire might be. I just have to do it with Blake or whatever his name is. It really doesn’t matter, and as long as he leaves us alone, I have no interest finding out what his real name is,” Casper said as we walked very quietly and in low-profile down the hallway, until we reached the elevator.
“I’m going out on a limb to say this man is not going to be very receptive at the very beginning. He won’t like you catching him when he is at his weakest. It might make him act more like a feral animal in a cage. Be careful. I got the feeling from Frederick this man is dangerous in his own right,” I said as I held his hand and felt he was responsive to my intimate advances.
“I never thought I needed anybody, including my wife. She was basically window dressing and a necessary reminder of the family when I came home after a long hard day. She was never one to clean. She mingled with other socialites. Money did make her happy. I think she was relieved when I lost interest having sex with a dead fish. She wasn’t very vocal, never did much moving on the bed and pretty much lay there like a lump on a log,” Casper said as the elevator climbed to the fourth floor.
“I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but I don’t think your wife was very kind to you. She used you for your money and made you believe you were not strong. That’s not the man I see here in front of me,” I said with him now pushing me up against the elevator wall and crowding my personal space.
“I’ve tried to understand where she’s coming from, but it became more of a headache. With you, I know exactly where I stand and to be honest, you make me very happy in a way she never could. I look at you, and I know there is nothing I can say that’s going to make you look at me differently. You may have doubts about where this is going, but I can assure you I have no interest finding another woman. I love what I have, and I didn’t just say those words out for the sake of making you feel happy. I really did mean I don’t know what I would do without you. I think I could survive, but you do make me wonder about my mundane life. With you in it, it’s always something exciting; we bring the best and worst out of each other,” Casper said as we barely made eye contact with the staff, including the nurses and doctors who were i
n the elevator with us. They didn’t pay attention to us, most likely thinking we were supposed to be there, not knowing our intention was anything but humanitarian.
“I don’t think I’ve ever met anybody quite like you, Casper. You look like you could kill someone with one look. It’s only when you look past the gruff exterior that you see the real man lurking underneath all of this hostility and anger,” I said feeling like his attempt to intimidate me was his way of reminding me he was a man. He had needs, and it was pretty damn clear from the way he was rubbing up against me.
“I can mirror the statement. You are a woman after my own heart. You throw me curveballs, and I never know what you’re going to do next. There’s something refreshing about living in the moment and not planning for every contingency. Even our sex life is not even close to predictable. Last night was just another one of those times we allowed our passions to take control of us. If I could get away with it, I would give the security guard watching on the camera something to think about,” Casper said as we got off the elevator and found a door leading us to another one of those bounty hunters looking to cash in.
