by Melissa Good
A smile. “Lower eighties, sunny, chance of showers tonight.”
“Oh, an odd day.” Kerry smiled back, letting her fingers move lightly over Dar’s tanned skin. “You look really wiped.”
“I am,” Dar admitted. “I couldn’t sleep night before last, then I had that early flight. We ran around playing football and all that yesterday, then last night…” She exhaled. “I’m running on nothing but cussedness right now.”
Kerry leaned over and rested her cheek against Dar’s arm. “Lend me some cussedness for a while, then, okay?”
The plane continued its descent, and the greens of the Everglades slowly morphed into cinderblock buildings, then the paved lots of the outer-rim warehouses. Then the heavy industrial section flowed under the wings, storage buildings directly in the flight path of the airport. Lower and lower, and finally Kerry saw the distinctive arch of the 826 freeway pass under them.
She settled back against the leather seat as the plane dropped to the ground and landed with a soft hop on the long, sun-bleached runway. Green trees surrounded them, and Kerry felt a sense of relief as the plane taxied up to the terminal, nudging into place at a gate.
They got their luggage, and Dar handed her claim ticket to the valet service. “Easier than parking myself,” she commented to Kerry, who had been very quiet. “You want me to drop you at your place, or…?” She was a little uncertain, knowing what she wanted Kerry to do, but not wanting to push her lover if Kerry felt like some time alone to think about things.
The blonde woman was silent for a bit, then she looked up as the Lexus was brought around. “Um, to be honest, Dar, I don’t know if I want to be by myself right now,” she admitted. “No one’s going to be around my complex, and…” She let her eyes rest on Dar’s face. “And I think I need a shoulder to lean on.”
A smile crossed the taller woman’s face. “I know a little island you might be interested in,” she commented quietly. “I think I even have some turkey roll.” Kerry nodded. “I’d love that.” She knew the reaction to everything would hit soon, and the peace of Dar’s condo was very enticing. She certainly didn’t want to face Colleen or her other friends with explanations yet. They got in the 444 Melissa Good car and Dar pulled out cautiously.
DAR WENT IN first, holding the door open for Kerry to follow, then shutting it behind them as the cool peace of the apartment surrounded them both. “Well.” Dar tossed her bag down on the couch, then took Kerry’s from her and held it for a moment.
Kerry walked over to the sliding glass doors and peered out, pressing her fingertips against the glass and absorbing the huge expanse of green stretching to the horizon. “It’s so pretty out there,” she commented softly.
Dar studied her, then chewed her lip a bit. “Um.” It was horrible timing, but… “Kerry?” she called, tentatively.
The blonde woman half turned, peering at her. “Yeah?” She peered at her lover, surprised by a sudden, perceptible awkwardness that was painfully evident to her. “What’s up?”
“Um, you know, you spend a lot of time here and I…” Dar focused her eyesight on the tile. “I mean, I hope you spend a lot more time here, but it’s…
I mean it’s kind of senseless to be carrying things back and forth all the time, so I thought…” She found herself uncharacteristically fumbling for words. “I thought maybe you’d… Well, I have all those spare rooms upstairs, and I thought maybe you’d like to sort of keep some…stuff…um, here.”
Hands covered hers where they rested on the bag, and she looked up in startlement to see Kerry gazing at her from a very short distance. She took the duffel bag and slung it over her shoulder, then took Dar’s hands in her own.
“That’s incredibly sweet and generous of you, Dar. I know how much you value your private space.”
Dar searched her face for a minute. “Does that mean yes or no?” She managed a half smile.
“I…um, I… Yes,” Kerry finally got out. “I’d really like that. Thank you.”
“Good.” The taller woman exhaled in relief. “You can, um, pick out whichever one you like, though I kinda thought you might like the one on the end.” She rubbed her neck. “I’m going to get some coffee going; I think we both could use it.” She rubbed her neck and pretended an offhandedness she simply didn’t feel.
Kerry nodded. “Good idea, I’ll just go…um…” She patted the bag. “Put stuff away.” She smiled at Dar. “Be right back. “
Dar watched her disappear up the stairs and allowed her face to crease into a relaxed, delighted grin as she turned and made her way back into the kitchen. It wasn’t like… Okay, so it was a tiny step towards Kerry moving in with her, but she knew they both weren’t ready for that. This seemed a good first move, though, and it was practical. It would let her test out the idea of actually living with someone, which she certainly wasn’t used to.
She knew she loved Kerry, there wasn’t any doubt about that, but Dar was also a realist, and she knew herself pretty well. She’d been living alone for many years, and adjusting to a roommate, no matter how beloved, would be a trial. Wouldn’t it?
Dar nibbled on a bit of dried apricot she’d taken from the refrigerator and put on a pot of coffee, using the newly delivered flavored blend she’d gotten Tropical Storm 445
before she left. Hazelnut; she sniffed approvingly before peeking in the refrigerator again, and was relieved at seeing a somewhat meager but adequate variety of groceries. “Ooo.” She leaned forward and examined a neatly packaged bunch of ripe green grapes, then checked the crisper for the small baby finger carrots she’d asked for, knowing Kerry loved to nibble on them.
“Wonder if she’d like those dipped in chocolate?” Dar mused absently, selecting one and examining it. “No, that probably defeats the purpose, right?” She bit the end off the carrot and chewed it. “Hmm.” She rolled the sweet pulp around in her mouth and swallowed it. “That’s not too bad,” she admitted, “for a vegetable.”
She checked the rest of the groceries, then wandered into the living room, considering. “Have to have that second ISDN line dropped in up there, that second room could be another office.” Dar chewed another piece of apricot thoughtfully. “This could work.”
KERRY GOT TO the top of the stairs and stopped; she leaned against the wall and just closed her eyes. It was just all happening too fast, she realized, her mind was still whirling with the situation regarding her family, and now this.
“Okay.” She shook the hair out of her eyes and tried to settle herself. “It was just a really, really nice thing for Dar to do, probably because she knows how weirded out I am right now.” She found a smile twitching her lips up anyway, and she moved slowly from room to room, peering into each one until she reached the last one.
She nudged the door open and peeked inside, remembering the wide, open space and beautiful view. Yep. Kerry walked all the way inside, feeling the carpet thick and comfortable under her feet, and looked around. The room was a pale shade of greenish-blue, with pale wood furniture in it. There was a tall dresser with six drawers tucked into one corner, and a long set of drawers across the length of the room, with a neatly framed mirror in the center. A door in the corner led to a walk-in closet larger than her kitchen, and on the other wall was a door which led into an eggshell-and-cobalt bathroom, complete with a corner stall shower and a large whirlpool-equipped bathtub raised up for easy entrance. “So.” Kerry leaned against the wall and gazed at the room. “You think I’d like this one, huh, Dar?” She walked over to the tall dresser, and pulled a drawer out. “You’re right, I do.”
She unpacked her bag and put everything away, then went to the window and let the ocean’s mellow movement calm her. A nutty scent distracted her, however, and she turned and made her way to the door, running her fingers through her hair to order it a little, and almost collided with Dar. “Whoa.”
The taller woman held out a cup. “Here,” she offered. “Everything okay in here for you?”
Kerry took a sip of
the fragrant beverage and swallowed it. “Mmm.” She glanced behind her. “Of course it is, and you know it.” She exhaled. “Thanks.”
She looked up and noticed Dar’s bloodshot eyes and weary expression.
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“C’mon.” She tucked a hand into the crook of her lover’s elbow. “I need to go sit down.” They walked downstairs, and Kerry settled in the corner of the couch, sipping her coffee and letting her head rest against the soft leather while Dar hunted out the remote and flipped on the large-screen TV.
“How are you doing?” the taller woman asked as she seated herself next to Kerry on the couch, putting her coffee down and clasping a hand over the blonde woman’s knee.
Kerry stifled a yawn. “Oh, I’m all right, I guess,” she answered softly. “I just keep trying not to think about it.” Her father’s angry, disgusted voice echoed loudly in her ears. “You know, I…I’m not sure what I expected,” she mused. “Anger, yeah, I thought he’d yell, and scream, but…” A pause. “I didn’t expect that.”
“How could you have?” Dar asked reasonably.
“Oh, I don’t know, Dar. Surely I should have seen that coming,” Kerry responded bitterly. “It was pretty naïve of me to think we’d just be able to talk this out, huh? That he’d listen to reason, or…” Her shoulders slumped. “Or that I’d matter to him as a person instead of window dressing,” she finished in a low voice.
“You couldn’t have predicted that,” her lover insisted. “Hell, I didn’t predict that, and I always expect the worst from people, not the best, like you do.” Kerry sighed. “I don’t know, maybe you’ve got the right idea.”
Dar tipped her chin up a bit. “Don’t let them take that away from you, my friend. I’d rather you think the best of people, not the worst. After all, where would I be if you did?”
The blonde woman rested her head against her hand. “In Washington, enjoying your holiday,” she muttered. “Instead of here, tired, hurting, and having to listen to my hard luck story.”
“Kerry.” Dar put a sympathetic hand on her back. “I wouldn’t trade where I am right now for anything.” Hooded green eyes peeked up at her.
“Honestly,” Dar commented softly, “I know it’s hard for you, and I’m sorry you had to go through this, but I don’t regret one single second of the past twenty-four hours, for my part of it.”
A tiny smile. “You’re a good friend, Dar.” Kerry reached out and took her hand, bringing it up and pressing it against her lips. “You’re the best friend anyone could ever hope for.” She felt the tears starting to well up, and she closed her eyes, fighting it. “And they can’t understand why I love you.” A sob escaped her. “Oh god.”
Dar pulled her close. “Easy, easy. I got you.”
“After everything he’s done,” Kerry whispered, “everything he’s taken from me, I couldn’t let him take you too.” She felt her composure shatter, and a wall of emotion swamped her senses. “I need you so much.”
Dar swallowed, feeling Kerry come apart, her words dissolving into hiccupping sobs that wrenched her body with little shudders. She took a deep breath and just hung on, murmuring reassurances and rocking Kerry in whatever comfort she could muster.
Kerry needed that. She needed Dar’s touch and the warmth of her body, and the comforting scent which surrounded her. “They hate me,” she got out.
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“Dar, I don’t want them to hate me for this.”
Dar’s jaw clenched, and she exhaled slowly. “I know.” She felt Kerry’s body jerk as she tried to catch her breath, and a soft moan escaped her.
“Shhh.”
“S’not fair,” Kerry whispered.
“No, it’s not,” Dar replied, rubbing her back.
A long pause, and Dar could feel the sobs slowly subsiding. She kept up her gentle petting until Kerry’s breathing evened out and steadied, and she could sense a calm returning to her lover.
“Was that stuff you told him true?” Kerry finally whispered in a hoarse tone.
Dar hesitated, not wanting to hurt her friend further. But lying, at this stage, would be pointless. “Yes. I was able to isolate those two pieces of information. I…you can look at it later if you want to.”
Another long pause. “Who’s Pamela?”
“Kerry, you don’t need to talk about this now. Wait a while,” Dar pleaded. “The information’s not going anywhere. Just rest. It’s been a hell of a long day, and we’re both exhausted.”
Red-rimmed green eyes peered up at her. “Just answer.” She sniffled, wiping at her eyes with one hand.
Dar sighed. “A woman your father’s been supporting for twenty years.
She has three kids, two boys and a girl. They’re his.”
Kerry’s jaw dropped.
“Yeah, and he has the balls to say anything about you,” Dar stated darkly. “That alone would blow his career out of the water.” Her eyes narrowed. “I hate hypocrites.” She gently dabbed at Kerry’s eyes with her sleeve.
“Wow,” Kerry breathed softly. “I can’t imagine that, no wonder he turned white when you said her name.” She felt better all of a sudden. “How do you know those kids are his?”
A soft snort. “DNA test results entered in the computer.”
“Oh.” The blonde woman closed her eyes. “Can I take a look at all that stuff later?”
“Sure.” Dar eased back into the corner of the couch and gently pulled Kerry down with her, tucking the smaller woman in between herself and the couch back. “Just relax now, you’re safe here.”
Kerry nodded “I know. Dar?”
“Mmm?”
“Do you think I should tell my mother about that?”
Whoa. Loaded question. “Let’s get some sleep before we talk about all this, okay?” Dar told her. “I’m too tired to think that through right now.”
Kerry looked up and gave her a little, weary smile. “Sorry, my head’s just spinning. You’re right.” She closed her eyes, and nestled closer. “I love you.”
Dar felt a wall of sleep overwhelming her. “Love you too,” she murmured, surrendering to her body’s demands.
Sea green eyes regarded her with wistful pride, before they too, closed.
Kerry woke near sunset, opening her eyes to see Dar still fast asleep, her body tangled around the blonde woman’s. That was all right, it gave her a 448 Melissa Good while to just sit and think, allowing herself to absorb fully the last twenty-four hours.
It hurt, she acknowledged, even though she’d resented her parents and dreaded flying home for those far-too-long holidays. But in a way, it was also kind of a relief to finally have it out in the open, and not have to pretend, or put them off constantly. She was free to live her life and do whatever she wanted to do.
Even if that whatever included this tall, beautiful woman who had pretty much put herself on the line for Kerry, in more ways than one. She sat thinking about Dar actually getting into the cockpit of a fighter jet just to come and find her, and a silly, incredulous smile edged onto her face. It was like a fairy tale, really. No one ever did that in real life, right? Of course not. And yet, she had, making nothing of it as though it were an everyday occurrence for her. “My hero,” Kerry whispered softly, curling a dark lock around one finger as she gazed at her sleeping lover’s face.
Her eyes fell on the neat bandage taped across the cut the stool had made in Dar’s neck, and she pursed her lips. She’s lucky she moves as fast as she does, Kerry reflected wryly. I would have clobbered her otherwise, poor thing. She felt very protective of Dar suddenly and felt a fierce surge of simple affection for her, beyond their physical relationship.
Idle words formed in her head, and she let them chase themselves around a little, ordering and reordering them. Finally she smiled wistfully to herself.
“Haven’t done that in a long, long time,” she whispered, winding her fingers around Dar’s, which were resting on her hip. “Didn’t think I even remembered how, but there’s som
ething in you that touches something way down deep inside me, Dar. And it makes me feel things so strongly, it’s like seeing life in a million colors suddenly, instead of just a few.” The words floated by again, and she closed her eyes and recited them silently, tasting their depth.
The winds of life are circling
Over grass and under trees,
Touching my heart and lifting me up to soar.
And as my eyes fall upon you,
an ancient song surrounds me
Binding our souls together with sure hands.
The future lies an uncertain path
Under dark and stormy skies,
But I will walk in sunlight beside you forever.
Kerry smiled in silent wonder, then her eyes flickered open as a fingertip traced her lips. “Oh.”
“What’s so funny?” Dar inquired curiously, her voice husky from sleep.
“Life,” Kerry answered softly. “You don’t have to get up. Go back to sleep, Dar. You still look pretty tired.” She smoothed the disordered hair back out of the taller woman’s eyes. “I’m going to root around and scare us up some dinner.”
A frank, lazy grin appeared. “Scare is probably the appropriate word. I Tropical Storm 449
think I’ve got grapes, milk, some frozen pizzas, and a can of fruit cocktail,”
Dar admitted. “Maybe we should order in.”
“Ah ah ah.” Kerry shook her finger playfully. “Where’s the challenge in that? I like this, Dar. I get a chance to use my imagination. Give me a minute, okay?”
Blue eyes gentled. “You feeling better?”
Kerry exhaled. “Yeah, now that the shock is kind of over. I just want to get on with my life, you know?” She played with the edge of Dar’s sleeve. “It’s weird to realize I don’t have to worry about their opinions anymore.” A shrug. “And, I think it was also that I was just really tired, my defenses were sort of shot.”
Dar relaxed back into the soft leather and let her hands wander down the denim-covered leg resting over her own. She could feel the muscles tensing as she explored, and she put strong hands to use in a gentle massage. “Maybe in time they’ll change their minds,” she offered. “Kerry, no matter what, you’re still their daughter.”