All The Days Of My Life (so Far)

by Alison Sweeney

  But here’s the amazing part of this story: The producers of Days of Our Lives have never made an issue of my weight. I’m so lucky to work for people who are so supportive. Whether I’ve been a little overweight or just right, they have only been interested in creating a great character who fans love—or hate! It really hasn’t mattered what I weigh.

  Sami’s Longevity

  Years ago, when I joined the cast of Days of Our Lives, I never could have imagined that I’d be sitting here, over a decade later, having gone through adolescence and young adulthood in the public eye and still having the privilege of playing Sami. So many soap characters come and go quicker than you can strike the delete button on a scriptwriter’s computer. Characters are done in by diseases, laid to rest by jealous lovers—or they sometimes just “go upstairs” and are never heard from again. But somehow Sami has survived every transgression and every misstep—and she’s had plenty of them. When I won a fan-voted Emmy award in 2002, do you remember the category? It was “America’s Favorite Villain,” of course. The award was custom-made for Sami!

  Sure, Sami may never be the girl who guys dream of bringing home to mom. But many fans have looked beyond her character flaws—and beyond Sami herself—and have turned me into their sounding board and perhaps even role model. Every week, I receive hundreds of letters and e-mails, some from fans who just want to give Sami or me a piece of their mind. But others ask for my advice on “girl concerns” that are important in their lives. Why me? Here’s what I think: Every afternoon on Days, I come into their living rooms, and many of them feel that I’m part of their family (no kidding!). They confide in me. They describe their own relationships with parents and friends, husbands and boyfriends. They recount their personal stories of dating, marriage, and sex…and of weight gain and weight loss. They even sometimes say, “Ali, I don’t know why I’m writing to you—I really don’t know you—but I feel like I can talk to you more honestly than to most other people in my life.”

  Later in this book, I’ll include some of the letters and e-mails I’ve received from fans. Many of them are quite remarkable and very touching. When fans have written to me about confronting their insecurities, seeing themselves in a new way, and building their own self-confidence—and they give some of the credit to me because of inspirational things I’ve said in the media—they’ve motivated me to write this book, to tell my story, to share my experiences on Days, and I hope, to infuse them (and you) with some additional encouragement to be courageous, to be bold, and to follow your dreams.

  When I respond to fan mail, I often tell viewers that while my life may seem glamorous, I’m really just like them. I haven’t escaped any of the pressures and anxieties experienced by virtually every girl or woman. No matter where you live or what your life circumstances are, I’m convinced that all of us should strive for happiness by enjoying old friendships and creating new ones, embracing our families, and nurturing the love in our lives. I hope you’ll search for who you really are, and accept yourself with all of your good qualities as well as your shortcomings. Set meaningful goals and work hard to reach them.

  Of course, in this book you won’t catch me claiming that I have all the answers. But like Sami, I’ve learned a lot and I go after what I want. Whether it’s setting my sights on an acting role or learning to play racquetball with my husband, Dave, my expectations have always been high. I enjoy challenges and doing some out-of-the-box thinking about goals and how to reach them. That’s where the fun of living can be.

  Like so many actors, I’m following my dreams and my heart. I’ve never been the kind of person to sit at home, waiting for the phone to ring or for the world to come to me. I go after what I want—and I hope I’ll inspire you to do the same! I keep my eyes open to everything the world has to offer, and I try to make things happen, developing my talents and working to excel at every opportunity.

  At the same time, I’ve also become better at finding balance in my life. As Dave and my girlfriends will tell you, I take time just to hang out “away from the office.” I try not to spread myself too thin. A life without balance isn’t genuine, and I’m enjoying life more as I become older.

  Navigating Through the Book

  So turn the page and let’s get started. I hope you’ll enjoy reading about my experiences—all the rewards, all the challenges—as well as life on the set of Days of Our Lives. I’ll tell you about the other actors on the show…recollections of my most memorable scenes…and everything you always wanted to know about Sami. At the same time, even though my own profession may be different than yours, I think you’ll find a lot in these pages that will remind you of times in your own life. Growing up, I’ve yearned for friends, ached to have love in my life, felt overwhelmed at times by the pressures and stresses, and struggled with the scale. Welcome to Life 101!

  After reading my story, you might be inspired by the journey that I’ve taken. I may light a fire that encourages you to follow your own dreams. More than anything, I want you to enjoy this book, and through my story, find yourself motivated to live in rhythm with the person you are and want to become.

  Chapter 2

  Salem’s Future Hellraiser!

  In some ways, playing Samantha Jean Brady is like wearing an old comfy pair of jeans that I can put on anytime, anywhere, knowing that they’ll fit perfectly. After more than a decade, I know Sami so well that sometimes I think I know what she’s going to do and say, even without looking at the script.

  When the producers of Days of Our Lives hired me in 1992, they told me that I was the perfect fit to play Sami. There had been previous incarnations of the character, played by five different child actors (from Ronit Aronoff to Christina Wagoner), dating back to 1984. But now the producers and writers had decided to bring Sami back as a teenager. What a wonderful opportunity for the actress who would get the part!

  When my agent told me about the auditions, I was skeptical about my chances. After all, I know what the odds are in this industry. You may know that dozens and sometimes even hundreds of actors often try out for a single part. You’ve probably heard about the “cattle calls.” The stories are true. So it’s smart not to get your hopes up too high.

  At the time, I certainly didn’t fit the stereotype of the typical underweight, undersized, under-nourished actress. See, I was a little overweight (especially by Hollywood standards)—maybe by about ten to fifteen pounds at the most. It was nothing to be particularly concerned about—unless you’re an actress. If you think America is obsessed with its waistlines, just try show business on for size. This is a community and a profession where the anthem seems to be that you can never be too slender.

  Fortunately, however, the producers of Days had something else in mind when casting Sami. Of course, Sami is Marlena Evans’ (Deidre Hall’s) daughter and Carrie’s (Christie Clark’s) younger sister, and the soap’s writers already had a story line in the works for their new addition to the cast. They were considering a story line where Sami would battle bulimia, the bingeing-purging eating disorder that affects millions of Americans, mostly adolescent girls and young women. As a result, the producers were thinking outside the box when searching for the next Sami. They weren’t necessarily seeking a razor-thin actress who looked like she had never craved a Godiva chocolate or never had a weakness for French pastry. (As one magazine noted when describing the search for an actress to play Sami, “Most soaps would have cast a glammy, reed-thin sexpot in such a conspicuous role.”) Later, I found out that their “job description” for Sami was simple yet demanding—a young actress who could carry her own weight (so to speak) with the rest of the cast. Everything else was secondary.

  Yet when I first heard that Days was casting Sami, I was baffled. After all, I was already a big fan of the show, and at the time, Marlena didn’t have a sixteen-year-old daughter on the show, or at least I had never seen her. So what the heck was this audition all about?

  Well, when I got the script for the tryout, the mystery was solv
ed. Here’s what I learned: The very young Sami was being aged, and she was about to reemerge as a key character on the show. What a cool idea! I couldn’t have been more excited. I really wanted this part.

  The Tryout

  I was a bundle of nervous energy leading up to the audition. When the day finally arrived—a Monday afternoon after school—I drove to the interview, which was with Fran Bascom, Days’ casting director. Fran, who is still in charge of casting for Days, is a great lady, and I was really anxious about meeting her. But she was so nice that, almost right away, I felt much more comfortable. As for the reading itself, I certainly did my best but wasn’t really sure how well (or how poorly) I had done.

  As I was walking out the door, Fran stopped me in my tracks and pulled me aside. “Ali,” she said, “you did a great job.”

  A great job?! Wow! Believe me, you don’t usually hear that kind of positive feedback at an audition. It just doesn’t happen. Usually, it’s just an emotionless “thank you” or something equally vague so that you leave having no idea whether they hated you or loved you. Normally, you have to wait a few days, and you don’t hear back directly, but rather through your agent or manager.

  “Look,” Fran continued, “we’re holding the screen test on Wednesday. Ali, I want you to come back on Wednesday. Can you make it?”

  Was she kidding or what?! I couldn’t believe Fran was telling me this right then and there. She seemed to have instantly made a decision that I might be right for the part. I was so excited—and absolutely stunned.

  “Definitely,” I told her, desperately clinging to my composure. “I’ll be there.”

  On the way home, I was so ecstatic—but so nervous—that I could barely think. Homework would have to wait. So would everything else except learning my lines for Wednesday’s screen test.

  I couldn’t believe this was really happening.

  I called my friend Mary that night. She was also a fan of Days, and I told her what had happened. We were both screaming and freaking out over the phone (I’m sure our parents—not to mention the neighbors—thought we had completely flipped out!). For the moment at least, I was on cloud nine!

  The Screen Test

  Then I had to think about the screen test.

  I went to school on Tuesday and Wednesday, but I can’t tell you much of anything that happened there. I spent every free moment reading and rereading the script that would be used in the screen test. For forty-eight hours, butterflies fluttered in my stomach. I can assure you that I didn’t sleep much on Monday and Tuesday nights. How could I, with my mind running wild with images of everything that might happen during the screen test—and what it would be like if I actually got the part?!

  One really important way for me to prepare for the screen test was to schedule an appointment with my acting coach. I am a firm believer in coaches, and I still take acting classes today (I’ll write more about this later). Having another eye to read the material and scrutinize my performance helped me lock down the character and also gave me the confidence to do my best in front of the cameras.

  I carried the “sides”—which is what they call the audition scene—around with me everywhere. I’d sneak it out during chemistry (I was terrible at chemistry anyway) and review the notes I’d made during my coaching session. I swear, those were the longest two days of my life, waiting for that screen test!

  At 3:30 on Wednesday afternoon, I arrived at the NBC studios in Burbank. I was so nervous. And so excited. I knew my lines but didn’t know how much my nerves might affect my performance. I also knew that I had plenty of competition: At the studio, four other actresses were there, all of us being screen-tested for the part of Sami.

  After I had my makeup applied, a stage manager told me to wait in an empty dressing room until my name was called. So I sat and waited. And waited. 4 o’clock. 4:30. 5:00. 5:30. More nervous. More excited. More waiting.

  Finally, at 6 P.M., the stage manager called me and the other actresses to the set we’d be using, right next to the one for Days. The soap had just finished taping for the day, and the director was finally ready for our screen test. After talking to us for a few moments, he walked all of us through the scene, telling us where we’d be standing and how we’d be moving when we spoke our lines.2

  Then Patrick Muldoon (ex-Austin) and Christie Clark (ex-Carrie) walked in. Just seeing them almost took my breath away, and ratcheted up my nervousness a notch or two. What a thrill to meet them, not to mention to do a scene with each of them! I was so embarrassed to meet Patrick in particular—I had such a crush on him from watching the show. I blushed to the tips of my ears, and even the thick makeup couldn’t hide it. In fact, Joe, one of our stage managers, still teases me about it today!

  The other girls and I had the amazing experience of rehearsing our scenes with Patrick and Christie, and I somehow got through it. Then Joe told us to go back to the dressing rooms for some more waiting until it was finally our time before the cameras. All the actresses auditioning for the role were given separate “call times” and different rooms, so I never got a chance to talk to any of them. It was such an awkward situation, to know they were competing against me, but still needing someone to share the experience with. All the waiting was killing me (of course since then, I’ve grown very accustomed to waiting—it’s practically in the job description).

  I wouldn’t have guessed I could become so tense and so starstruck at the same time, but I managed it when I spotted Lisa Rinna and a few other actors on the show. I was too embarrassed to introduce myself or say anything to them, but I do remember thinking how incredible it would be to work on the same show with them. For some reason, I still didn’t expect to get the part, but it was so exciting for me just to be there, to spend time on the set, and to see some of Days’ cast members. I had to pinch myself and wonder, “Could this really be happening to me?”

  So, you’re asking, how did the screen test go? Funny, but I really thought I might have blown it. Big time. The cameras were almost ready to start rolling for my scene with Patrick. That’s when the stage manager said to me, “Don’t forget to close the door behind you after you enter the scene.”

  Close the door? That wasn’t in the script!

  I suddenly started to become unglued. What if I forgot to close the door? Or what if I didn’t close it just right? What if the door slammed? Could it cost me the job? Don’t mess this up, Ali.

  Patrick sensed that I was starting to melt down.

  “Don’t worry about the door,” he told me gently. “It’s not a big deal.”

  I managed a smile. Patrick’s words were very comforting. He was so reassuring and the pressure lifted a little. I felt back in control. And, guess what? I did close the door. It didn’t slam. And, of course, I got the part!

  Waiting for the News

  After Wednesday’s screen test, I returned to school for the rest of the week, sitting on pins and needles waiting for word from the studio. They seemed like the longest days of my life.

  On Friday, my agent finally got a call from the producers saying that I’d been hired. My agent contacted my mom, who immediately called my high school. Minutes later, when my classmates and I were filing out of my geometry class, one of the office assistants met me at the classroom door and handed me a note.

  “From your mom,” it read. “You got it!!”

  Yes, there were two exclamation points at the end of the note. I felt like adding a thousand more.

  My reaction? I was almost delirious. I screamed. I literally jumped for joy. I almost couldn’t control myself. (Hey, I was 16 years old!)

  So just how good was I on that screen test? Obviously, good enough to get the part. But let me put it in perspective: A few years ago some of the Days cast got together in my dressing room and we watched the videotapes of all of our screen tests, which Austin Peck (who played Austin Reed after Patrick Muldoon) had tracked down in the Days video library. Oh, my goodness! We were so bad!! Every one of us! We roared with laughter
watching those tapes. Bryan Dattilo (Lucas) got some ribbing over the short gym shorts he wore on his videotape. I laughed so hard over how my bouncy walk had my “Jan Brady” hair swinging all over the place. We teased Austin about how different his voice sounded…well, the list goes on and on. Julianne Morris (ex-Greta), Arianne Zuker (Nicole) and I couldn’t get over the now-out-of-fashion clothes that we wore with pride in the early ’90s. It’s not one of those videos that you want to share with the world.

  But here’s the good news: We were able to laugh at ourselves because we had grown so much as actors since we had auditioned for Days. That’s one of the blessings of working on a soap. You’re acting all the time, one day after another, with new opportunities to refine your acting abilities and develop your talent. Here’s the way I think about it: As a soap actor, you know that even if you’re unhappy with your performance in today’s episode, you always have tomorrow to make things better (even though today’s episode might continue to bug you for a while!). Because you’re acting so much and so often, you’re always growing and always learning something new about yourself and the craft of acting. When you look around you and recognize how talented the cast and crew are, you realize everyone there is at the top of his or her profession, and they all have something to teach you if you’re willing to learn. Not only that, but your character is developing and changing as well, which continuously presents you with new acting challenges and demands. And the twists and turns in Sami’s life have never allowed me to become blasé about playing her.

  Into the Fire