She wandered into the kitchen. Steve was baking. He looked terrified when she came in. “Hey, Steve. What are you making?”
“You shouldn’t be in here with me without a guard or a chaperone. I could be fired.”
Her eyes widened. “Uh, sorry.” She turned quickly and left, not wanting to get the man in trouble.
He popped his head out the door. “Sorry, it’s nothing personal, I just like this job. I washed your laundry. It’s folded and lying on your bed. Jared told me you wanted it done.”
She smiled at him. “Thanks, I appreciate it.” She’d have to talk to her men about making sure she could be in the same room alone with Steve. She’d never cooked in her life, and even if she didn’t have to, it was something she wanted to learn. She’d have to have something to do other than read and have sex. Surely her men would understand.
She ran into Jared first. “Hey, can I ask you a question?”
“Anything.”
“Steve said he could be fired if I go into the kitchen and he’s alone with me. I’d like to learn to cook, and I doubt any of you want to sit through that. Can we establish some kind of five feet rule or something so he won’t get in trouble, but I can still go into the kitchen?”
“I don’t have a problem with it, but you can see how my thoughts don’t always matter around here.” He spoke glibly and chuckled, but there was a sad darkness in the sound.
“You matter to me,” she said and winked.
He brightened. “Damn it, I’ll never be able to say no to you now.”
“Well, I don’t want you to be in trouble again. Just have a group meeting and let me and Steve know the rules.”
“Hey, my night with you will be on Saturday. I want to do something fun with you and spend the whole day together on Saturday. Is that all right with you?”
“Of course, I’ll look forward to it. Thanks for…aw, heck.” Krista threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “Thanks for being so sweet. I really feel like you’re a friend.”
His face went from happy to sad instantly. “A friend?”
“Don’t you want to be my friend?”
“Sure, but—damn it, Krista, I want you to feel more than that for me.”
She realized what was upsetting him. “This is all new. Maybe. I’m sure Saturday will be great,” she said, backing away. She fled the room, not wanting to see the disappointment on his face. She already knew she’d always like Jared very much, but that was the extent of what would develop. If she were foolish enough to fall in love with any of them, it probably wouldn’t be Jared. He was wonderful, but the spark she felt around some of the other men didn’t ignite with him.
Chapter 5
Krista went up to her room and grabbed the book she’d started the night before. She sat down on the comfortable, little couch and began reading again. She was engrossed in Samuel Johnson’s world. The sex made her cheeks heat, but the story was wonderful. She’d thought Brax hadn’t gotten it right, but she was wrong. While the government in the story was far more concerned with actual sex than the real government, Brax touched on the emotions of someone in Samuel’s position so well. At one point, she actually cried when Sam’s best friend died trying to escape. The fear he felt for authority was so eerily similar to her own, she had to stop reading a few times to take a deep breath.
“So you like the story?”
“Ahhh!” Krista shouted, dropping the book as she jumped. “You scared the heck out of me!”
“Sorry,” Brax said, grinning. He had such a beautiful smile, she instantly forgave him.
“I don’t like it,” she said sharply. Brax’s eyes widened and he looked hurt. “I love it so much I can’t even put my feelings into words. I’m going to kill you if anything bad happens to Samuel. I feel like he was in the protection facility with me. I don’t know how you did it, but I do honestly feel like he is going through the same thing. The sex was a bit over-the-top, but I love it and I’m going to start on the next book the moment I finish this one.”
He beamed happily. “That’s the best review I’ve ever had, thanks. I wanted to tell you it’s time for supper. Would you join me?” He held out his arm. She stood and took the sight in, feeling as if he’d just stepped out of some cheesy, old movie. “We’ll be eating on the patio together. I wanted to spend some time alone with you. Is that okay?”
“Sure. No one was angry?”
“They grumbled a bit, but they know they’ll have a night with you too. I’m glad you liked my work. If you aren’t busy tomorrow, I have some notes for my latest novel and I’d love to ask you some questions. I want this to be the best one yet, and having someone who really lived the experience will make the book phenomenal.”
“I’d be honored to help. My schedule is clear until I die, unfortunately. I’m at your disposal.”
“We’ll find something for you to do that will give your life purpose, besides doing us. I don’t want you to feel like you don’t matter, you do.”
“Thanks. Did Jared talk to you guys?”
“About Steve?” They walked down the stairs.
“Yes, is there going to be some reciprocity for him and me to be in the same room?”
“We talked with Steve. He’s not comfortable being alone with you. He said it’s too painful to be around the only woman in town and not be able to touch you. I don’t blame him. I’m surprised he didn’t quit when we told him we’d won. On his income, there’s no way he can even participate in the lottery, and we pay well.” Brax opened the patio doors for her.
Knowing Steve had no hope of ever having a family of his own, even if he had to share them, made her sad. The idea that a man would be condemned to loneliness based on income just seemed wrong. This world was so unfair; just because Steve wasn’t rich shouldn’t mean he was just out of luck. He was so kind. He was a victim of the unjust Giving system too. The more she learned about the how the government selected who was able to participate and who wasn’t, the greater her hatred grew toward the politicians who propagated the way the world worked.
Brax pulled out her chair and she sat down. The small bistro table was lovely. A white cloth draped over the black iron she knew was underneath and a candle burned in the center. Square bowls of water with flower buds and floating candles littered the patio area. She could smell lilacs in the distance. The darkening sky set the perfect mood. She picked up her cloth napkin and put it over her lap daintily.
“We did decide to hire a tutor of sorts. There’s a service that provides happily gay companions for women. I realize you might want a friend.”
“I never thought someone would have to hire a friend for me,” she said gruffly.
“It’s not as if you can just walk down the street meeting new people. The other benefit is the service provides ‘friends’ who are trained in martial arts and carry concealed gun permits. You’ll be as safe with your companion as with the guards. Tell us what you want to learn and we can hire someone with those specific qualifications. If you don’t like him, we’ll get another, just try a few out until something genuine clicks.”
“That sounds so odd. I’ve never had to have a friend on ‘probationary trial’ before.”
“It’s the best we can do. He’ll be a chaperone too, so you won’t have to worry about Steve. There’s a smaller, second kitchen on the basement level. It’ll be your private domain.”
She smiled. “Great, now I just have to learn how to use it.”
“I’ll get you a cookbook and some supplies later in the week. I’ll even eat something you make.”
“Wow, what a great vote of confidence. Just for that, I’ll make sure the others tell me what your least favorite food is, and I’ll triple it in my first recipe. But in case I decide not to make you suffer, what’s your favorite food?”
“Pecan pie. I love the stuff, but Steve never makes it. The others hate it. They’re nuts, because it’s fantastic.” He paused for a second and she held her breath as his eyes grew dark wi
th desire. “It’s a date,” he said huskily before clearing his throat. “I’m the only one who works from home, so we’ll have a special private lunch when the guys go back to work and Mal leaves for his cross-country tour. I have a few speaking engagements and retreats throughout the year, but for the next six months, all I’m doing is writing my new book.”
Steve came out with a tray. He glanced at her nervously before setting a glass of red wine and a plate of cheese, meat, and fruit on the table in front of her. She smiled when she saw the strawberries. He gave her a tiny grin and she knew this was his apology.
“Thank you, Steve.”
He nodded and went back inside. She picked up a strawberry and took a bite. Brax smiled at her.
“Delicious. I haven’t had strawberries in a long time. Fresh fruit is seldom on the menu at the protection facility.”
“Things are improving, but I can imagine it wasn’t something Uncle Sam wanted to pay for, fruit is ridiculously expensive these days. There was such a long ban on interstate shipping during the first years of the outbreak while the CDC tried to figure out and contain the spread of the virus, many produce growers just went out of business.” He paused and cleared his throat. “Let’s not think about anything depressing tonight. It’s important to me for you to feel comfortable. You’ve had a stressful couple of days. I thought we’d have something light now, and later, after…you know, if you’d like—feel hungry, I’ll make you something special. I make the world’s best grilled cheese.”
His awkwardness was adorable. For a man of words, he seemed to be having a difficult time. She shook her head in mock disappointment. “You mean I could be eating the world’s best grilled cheese right now? Well, I guess these strawberries will have to do. I believe I would like to try your sandwich, if you promise to show me your secrets for making it the world’s best.”
“I wouldn’t teach just anyone, but you seem like a nice girl. So when we have the house all to ourselves and everyone’s asleep, if you aren’t too tired, I’m going to rock your world with my culinary skills.”
“Wow, author and chef. I’m a lucky woman.”
“Yes. Yes, you most certainly are,” he teased.
She laughed and began dipping her berries in the pink fruit dip that sat on her plate in a little cup. The cubes of cheese and round slices of meat tasted wonderful with the wine. She’d never had wine before, and it took her a moment to adjust to the almost bitter flavor. After a few sips, she decided she liked it. The warm feeling it gave her didn’t hurt either.
“I’d like to rock your world in many ways tonight, Kristannie.”
The way he said her name made her shiver. None of the others used it the way he did. He was so handsome. If she had to choose whom she’d be going to bed with tonight, she’d have chosen him. The realization was a surprise. She’d been so sure she wasn’t going to like sex. She picked up her napkin and used it to hide the heat she felt on her cheeks. She didn’t want him to see her blushing. He’d know.
His observant eyes didn’t miss her action or her blush. “What are you thinking about?”
Damn it, can he really know? I have to pull myself together. If I let myself care about him, I’ll regret it. “How much I like wine. Can I have a second glass? Jared spilled the beans about your orders on what to feed me, and I’m sure this isn’t on the list.”
“What those people don’t know won’t hurt them.” He reached out and took her hand. She let him while the napkin fell to her lap. “Goddamn it, woman, you make my cock so fucking hard.”
She didn’t know what to say. She was obligated to sleep with him, he didn’t have to make it anything more than it was. He could legally throw her on the ground and claim his rights to her right here and now. She knew she should be afraid or angry, but she wasn’t. Against her better judgment, she wanted him too. Her appetite was gone. She pulled her hand away and finished off her wine without looking at him.
“I want you too,” she whispered shyly. Even after the group sex from the first night, she still felt like a virgin. Tonight, it would just be the two of them. Her pussy literally began aching. The idea of his hands on her, his mouth…she wished he were touching her right now. With the others, she didn’t feel such a raw, desperate want. The sensation made her feel guilty, but she wasn’t strong enough to push the desire away. She was suddenly glad he’d waited. “I’m not really hungry anymore.”
“Me either.” He growled, throwing his napkin on the table. “I’m taking you to my room tonight.”
She nodded, unsure of what to say or do. She could hear her own heartbeat as it pounded painfully in her chest. After her drastic initiation into the world of sexual activity, she marveled that the idea of Brax inside of her could make her so hot. He stood, his eyes never broke contact with hers, his chair slid back, and he moved around the small table with long, purposeful strides.
Brax held out his hand. “Come to my bed, Kristannie, and make me the happiest man in the world tonight.”
That has to be the most romantic invitation for sex any girl’s ever received. I have to stop letting myself forget I’m just a prize. He doesn’t love me. For him, I’m the last woman on Earth.
Her eyes focused on his large, tan hand and she just contemplated it quietly for a moment. She slowly began moving her hand toward his. There was something in his eyes that told her this act meant something more to him, she was conceding something if she took his offering.
“I would have chosen you.”
She stilled, looking up into his face. His expression was earnest. A chill ran through her, his words were so eerily close to her thoughts, it spooked her. “You are more than I deserve. Thank you.” He had me at ‘chosen’ dang it. She knew there was no way she could keep her heart out of this now.
Having felt a sense of protection from him the night before and reading his book, a story that touched her deeply, her vulnerable heart longed to care about him. Her head was smart, but her heart didn’t have a bit of common sense. Having a favorite risked the security of the peaceful home she longed for.
Her hand found his and he gripped it tightly. Seeing something move out of the corner of her eye, she looked up at the sky. Fancifully, she thought she saw a shooting star. “Look.” She pointed up.
“I don’t need to look at the stars anymore. You’re exactly what I’ve been wishing for. You’re mine, Kristannie. Tonight, every inch of you will feel how much you belong to me. I want to make you happy. Someday you’ll feel safe with me. You were meant for me, I knew that the moment I looked into your eyes.”
The writer in him was really working overtime. She rolled her eyes, tipping her head to the side and feeling duped. He was just ensuring she wouldn’t have a “headache” when it was his turn, nothing more. The sappy words made her as hot as they made her angry. She wished she could believe them, but Krista was a realist.
He tilted her chin up and forced her to look into his eyes. “I’m going to prove to you that I do want you, Krista. Tonight will be unlike any night you spend with the others. I’m going to make you mine in a way that will be exclusive to us. Before the night ends, you will tell me you belong to me more.”
She shivered. As bossy as the man was, she hated herself for liking his dominance. With so much of her life out of her control, it felt good to feel like he was the one pulling her strings. She liked the illusion that he could keep the government from taking her away and could give her real commitment and a home.
He led her toward the house, their meal mostly untouched. The others had left the dining room and she could hear noise coming from the game room. The kitchen was dark; Steve had called it a night too. She followed Braxton into a part of the house she hadn’t been in before.
“This is where my room and office are. Our only guest rooms are here too. My work requires a lot of solitary focus, so when we built the house they put me here.” He chuckled.
“Wow, your office is great,” she told him. There were shelves full of books and a big,
heavy, old-fashioned desk with a sleek and very modern laptop sitting on it. He had a bunch of promotional items hanging on the wall.
“They made the book you’re reading into a movie.”
“With all that sex…how?”
“Sex in movies is becoming more common. Fantasy is all guys have. They actually found a few real women who were working for a protection facility in California to star in the film. Security was a nightmare. I’m glad I didn’t have anything to do with the production. California has a very progressive governor right now. The guardians at the facilities out there don’t even have to live on-site. Most still do, the danger is enormous. I heard one of the actresses married one of the actors on a trip to Canada. It’s caused a big legal mess, because marriage has been legally abolished. Religious protestors came from all over the country to fight for the right to be married. They’ll be voting on the constitutional legitimacy of not allowing marriage. If any state brings it back, I think it will be California. The government is afraid once they return heterosexual marriage rights, they’ll be fighting the gay marriage fight again. They’re assholes for banning both.”
He sighed and rubbed her cheek with his thumb for a minute. His eyes darted back and forth as he looked at her face, and she realized he was looking for her reaction.
“I don’t know how much news you were able to watch in there,” he continued, “but there was a big push for legalizing gay marriage, since there were no women. I support it completely, but even in these times they’re so afraid to allow it. I’m amazed at the level of hierocracy the government perpetrates sometimes.”
“I don’t see why they don’t allow it, especially now. Just think about all the taxes they could suddenly come up with.” She grinned.
“Now that’s the argument the proponents should use. Gay marriage would be legal in a week.” They both laughed.
Krista looked at some photos he had hanging on the wall. The one with a woman holding a little boy caught her attention.
Given Page 9
