It angered Thomas all over again to see Linus so dejected, so lost over what Thomas had seen him happily embrace before it had been sullied for him. Thomas reached across the table, laying his hand down, palm up.
“You’re not a waste of my time Linus. I’d be honored to spend whatever amount you would allow me. However, I won’t lie to you. You’re right—I’ll always be a Dominant man, but that can take on many forms. It can be something we explore further down the line if you’d like. What I do know for sure is that I want to have the chance to get to know you the way I said. As two men, nothing more. If we decide we’re unevenly matched and it can’t be anything more than a friendship, then so be it. What do you say? Give it a try?”
Linus peered up from under his lashes in seeming contemplation of Thomas’ offer, his gaze fixed on Thomas’ upturned palm. Slowly, Linus raised his hand then reached over and laid it in Thomas’. Linus gently squeezed his fingers and Thomas wrapped his around Linus’. His heart thumped at a rapid pace and he marveled at how a simple gesture could give him such a thrill. Would Linus accept his next offer?
Chapter Three
Linus stared at his hand in Thomas’. He tried to remember if they’d held hands the three times they’d been alone. The times Linus had allowed Thomas to touch him, had wanted it.
But I still want it.
He squeezed Thomas’ fingers. It was all so confused in his head. Before the whole Preston disaster, Linus had been sure Thomas had wished for him to be his gentleman friend. Of course, Linus had also been very excited about all the activities he knew Thomas would desire from him. Then there had been the anticipation over the new ones he figured Thomas would eventually reveal.
They hadn’t held hands—not really. Not the way they were doing at the moment. It had been more like Thomas’ grip around Linus’ wrist the one time he’d tied his hands together in front of him. He’d bent Linus over a large padded ottoman then placed a blindfold over his eyes. He’d asked if Linus he’d ever worn one before. When he’d replied honestly that he hadn’t, Thomas had gently explained that it would help heighten the sensations of what he felt. It was also a way for them to build trust with each other. Then he’d asked Linus if it was okay to use it on him.
That was the difference. He asked.
A thread of nervousness ran under his skin. He’d never lied to Thomas, but he might’ve made it seem that he was more experienced than he really was. He’d been so attracted to him that when Thomas had first approached him at the club and asked if he liked to be spanked, he’d blurted out that he did. Thomas had also wondered if he wanted to be tied up and he’d nodded vigorously, scared but excited at the same time.
“Words please. You know what to do.”
But he hadn’t. He didn’t. Instead, he’d played along so that Thomas wouldn’t choose another boy. When he eventually did choose another boy, Linus had already believed that he was the only one who held Thomas’ interest. Was that still the case? Or would there be others Thomas would go around with while he was also seeing him. If so, maybe he shouldn’t accept Thomas’ offer after all.
His hand felt so nice, so warm. It made it seem as if he wasn’t all alone, far away from his mother and father and all his brothers and sisters. It was even better than that because with Thomas, he had all the attention. So he had to know for sure. Because if he was going to be with Thomas, he really did want all the attention on him.
“If I give it a try, give it a chance—will it only be you and me?”
Thomas furrowed his brow. “Are you asking if I’ll be with any other men while we’re getting to know one another?”
Linus nodded, then remembered. “Yes.”
“I’m going to assume that you don’t want to go to the club, correct?”
“I’m sorry…”
Maybe Thomas would take back the offer. He squeezed Linus’ hand.
“Don’t. This is important to me so I want to do it right, give us a fair shake. I’ll still be going to the club—”
“Oh.” He dropped his chin and tried to pull away. Tears stung at the backs of his eyes. Thomas held on to him, gripping him tighter.
“You didn’t let me finish. I’m a board member and there are some important meetings coming up regarding rules to make the club safer. I need to be at the club for those. Plus, that’s where my friends are. You are more than welcome to come with me at any time, but that’s not something I expect. I just want to be honest with you about where I’ll be. However, I promise I won’t be with any other man either there or anywhere else while you and I figure this out. Agreed?”
Linus relaxed and looked up at Thomas, giving him a small smile. “Agreed.”
Thomas smiled back. “Good. That’s going to be one way where I can gain your trust.” Thomas regarded him as if he wasn’t sure what to do with him next. “I tell you what. I’d like to take you to dinner tomorrow night. I’ll pick you up at seven o’clock at the guesthouse and we can go from there. Sound good?”
“You mean like a speakeasy?” The last thing Linus ever wanted to do again was go to another one of those places.
Thomas patted their joined hands with his other one. “No. I want to take you to a nice, respectable Italian restaurant I know of in Pasadena called Del Rio’s. Do you like Italian food?”
“Um, I don’t know. There was an Italian family that lived a couple farms over, but we hardly ever saw them and I never ate any of their food.”
Thomas appeared to be holding back a smile, maybe a smirk—Linus couldn’t tell.
“Well then, I suppose this would be a good way for you to find out if you do. I’ll see you at seven o’clock.”
Thomas gently unlaced their fingers and it hit Linus that everything had just been decided. He usually preferred that, but it was all so fast. He’d be alone with Thomas in the car again. It was okay, at least he thought it was, but…
“Wait!”
Thomas paused from where he’d been about to swing a leg over the bench. “What is it?”
“Where’s the restaurant?”
“It’s on Colorado, near Fair Oaks Ave. Why?”
“Oh, um, I could save you the trouble and just meet you there instead. At seven o’clock, you know, like you said.” He swallowed hard.
Thomas relaxed back on the bench. “You don’t want me to drive you?”
“It’s not that…” He squirmed. It wasn’t fair not to be honest with Thomas if he expected Thomas to be honest with him. If things progressed with them, he’d eventually have to confess that he’d misled him back at the club as well. “Okay. It is that. But I don’t want you to be mad at me. I just um, I need to get to know you better. That’s all.”
“I’m not mad, Linus. Thank you for telling me the truth—that’s going to be very important in order for us to have a chance together.” Thomas rubbed a hand across his beautiful golden hair that Linus loved. The gesture was in seeming contemplation over Linus’ statement. “All right. If that’s what you need to do. May I ask how you’d be getting there?”
Linus had the impression that Thomas was going to extra pains to accommodate him and he felt bad. It always made him happy when he pleased other people. He did want to please Thomas. He really did like him an awful lot. But he wasn’t ready yet.
“I could take the Pacific Electric car down Lake to Colorado then take the next line over to Fair Oaks. It’s not too terribly far.”
“I see. Very well then. But will you consider letting me drive you back if all goes well? Only because it’ll be late—and dark.”
Thomas appeared so distressed over the thought of such a thing that it made Linus want to laugh. He wasn’t a child. He’d taken the train all the way from Oklahoma by himself. What other choice had he had?
“Okay. I’ll consider it.”
Thomas gave him a tight smile and a quick nod of his head. “Good. Seven o’clock at Del Rio’s tomorrow night.” Thomas stood then pulled his driving cap out of his jacket pocket. He placed it on his hea
d. “I’m greatly looking forward to it.”
Linus grinned at him, hoping that it conveyed how genuinely happy he was to be going out to a nice place with Thomas. “I am too.”
Thomas nodded again before turning away to leave.
“Wait!”
He turned back to Linus. “Yes?”
“Thank you again for the dates.”
This time when Thomas smiled it reached his eyes and Linus was relieved that he’d made him happy.
“You’re welcome, Linus. Have a good day.”
His grin got wider. “You too.”
* * * *
“Someone is awfully happy this evening.”
Thomas acknowledged Aaron by raising his brandy glass then taking a sip. He was at the club solely for the purpose of discussing potential new rules, nothing else. Even if he hadn’t made a promise to Linus, he wasn’t interested in seeking out any other company. What a change finding the right boy had made.
If he really is right.
Uncertainty threatened to darken his mood, but he refused to allow it to affect him. Linus had agreed to have dinner with him, hadn’t thought the gift of the dates was the slightest bit silly, and had even freely held his hand. It wasn’t quite the same as consenting to a flogging or a branding, but it was a start. Considering all Linus had been through, Thomas was confident that they were headed in the right direction.
Aaron leaned into him from where they sat on the sofa in the study of Hampton Road. They were waiting for the remaining board member Barry to arrive before they began their meeting. Saul and Theodore relaxed against the mantel, chatting about a property Saul was considering buying, so they weren’t paying any mind to what Aaron and Thomas were doing.
“I take it things went well with Linus earlier?”
Thomas took another warming swallow of his drink. “Yes, they did.” He turned to Aaron. “I think there’s a chance, despite what that beast did to him.” He lowered his voice. “Any word on Cornwall?”
“Not a peep. But we have Bruce and George on alert every night, just in case. Saul has even taken to carrying his pocket pistol to and from the house. I imagine it will be a while before we all settle down again.”
“One would like to think he’s learned his lesson. He seems to be the type of coward who searches out vulnerable people to exploit. With so many standing up to him, even Kenneth, he slunk away with his tail between his legs. I doubt we’ll ever see him around here—he wouldn’t have the nerve.”
Aaron sighed. “You’re probably right.” He glanced up as the door opened. “Ah, Barry’s here. We can begin.”
The men greeted their associate then they all took a seat in a loose circle around the study. Aaron turned to Saul.
“I know you made a point of not wanting us to look up to you, that being part of the reason you kept your identity as the owner of Hampton Road a secret, however, we’re starting somewhat fresh here. We’ve lost four board members and if memory serves, I believe it was the mysterious owner who originally decreed that there be nine total?” Aaron lifted one eyebrow, an amused smirk on his face.
Saul grunted. “Yes, old sport, that’s correct. But now the ‘mysterious owner’ would like to have that be a joint decision.” Saul clasped his hands together and leaned forward. “Back when I began the club, we were all starting from nothing. I had to at least put a few decrees in place in order to get everything up and running. But it doesn’t have to stay that way. All of you have been a part of Hampton Road for a while—even you, Thomas. You’ve certainly attended as a guest over the past few years and your association with Aaron is significant.”
“I’d like to make a suggestion.” Everyone gave his attention to Theodore. “I think the main consideration was to have an odd number of members so that there would always be a deciding vote. We have that now. I believe in light of what happened to Kenneth and Linus that it’s imperative we establish some basic safety rules for the submissive men at the club before we go any further. We can decide on other things later.”
Saul nodded. “Is that a motion?”
Theodore smiled. Thomas had a feeling they were all thinking the same thing. It would be the first time that anyone was making any decisions since it had been revealed that Saul was the actual owner of Hampton Road. Even though Saul had insisted that he had no interest in being a dictator, it was good to see some follow through on that.
“Yes, it is.”
Saul straightened. “Then I second it. All in favor?”
Thomas, Aaron and Barry all gave their assent and the motion carried.
“Excellent.” Saul stood then strolled over to the bar cart. He held up the brandy decanter. “Let’s begin here.”
Thomas frowned and he noted Theodore and Aaron exchange confused glances. Saul continued.
“There are a few practices that the majority of us have seemed to adhere to naturally, yet they have never been official. I think those would be the easiest places to begin.” Saul nodded in Thomas’ direction. “Will you be working with a boy this evening?”
“No, as a matter of fact. Why?”
Aaron chuckled. “I see where you’re going with this. I believe everyone in this room abstains from booze or reefer when working with a submissive partner, particularly if there’s going to be restraints or whippings involved.”
Theodore nodded. “And at some point—maybe you know when, Saul—the submissives have never been allowed to drink any hooch except at strictly social gatherings.”
“Is that something we might all agree on?” Saul glanced around the room.
Barry chuckled. “Are you making a motion?”
“Actually, old sport, I was hoping we would have voted on a secretary by now. That way they could write all this down then we can vote on all of it at once. Anyone care to toss their hat in the ring?”
Thomas spoke up. “I don’t mind.” He gestured to the mahogany desk at the far end of the room. “Notepad and pen?”
“Yes. Help yourself.”
There was a fair amount of chatter as Thomas got the required items then sat down. He scribbled out the first rule of abstaining from booze and reefer if anyone wished to interact with another.
A thought crossed his mind. “Excuse me, Saul. But I was wondering. How would we know whether a member was abstaining or not?” After the way Preston had behaved so deviously, Thomas no longer automatically trusted the other Dominant men at Hampton Road the way he once had.
Saul furrowed his brow. “Hmm. Well, I’m not sure. One thing at a time? Let’s discuss what we want then we can figure out how to make it happen.”
“Agreed.” Aaron sucked in a deep breath. “Anyone else have something they’d like to add?”
“I do.” Everyone turned to Thomas. “I’d like to suggest that there be a way for a submissive man to ring for help if he’s in the same position Linus was with Preston. Perhaps a pull cord that rang a bell in a central room—similar to what you have in the entryway for the greeter, Michael?”
Saul nodded thoughtfully. “There are dozens of rooms at Hampton Road, plus we’d need to have someone on staff at all times to monitor that.”
“Right, but what if it was only implemented in the larger playrooms where unattached men go to enjoy themselves on a temporary basis? They’re essentially unknown to each other so there’s a greater risk. I wouldn’t advocate it for established couples.”
“Except that Kenneth and Preston were an established couple.” The pained expression on Saul’s face spoke volumes.
Thomas cleared his throat. “Of course, Saul. I didn’t mean that.”
“I know, old sport. There’s just so much to consider with all of this. For instance, I don’t think a submissive man should be gagged without having another way to cry for mercy. Also, if he cries mercy, then the Dominant should cease what he’s doing immediately. That sick bastard Preston refused to allow Kenneth to cry mercy, let alone would stop if he ever did.”
Barry piped up. “I’ve always had
concerns about the way some men will use a submissive harshly, even if it’s something the man has agreed to, then abandon him the moment they’ve taken their pleasure. Shouldn’t there be an obligation from the Master to stay with his submissive until he’s had the chance to recover from whatever activity it is they’ve engaged in? I always stay with my boy for however long he needs me.”
“I have a feeling this is going to take more than one meeting.” Aaron flopped back against the sofa.
Theodore snorted. “I’m inclined to agree. Since this might go on for a while, I think I’ll let Francesco enjoy a game of Stern-Halma with Sam this evening and forego the new paddle I wanted to try on him.” He reached for the brandy decanter. “Anyone else?”
Thomas laughed out loud as all the other men stood to accept Theodore’s offer. But he was glad. It seemed as if they were all in accord with one another over doing what was right by the men from whom they requested submission. And the safer the club became, the more likely Linus might want to go there again.
* * * *
Linus checked how he looked in the small bathroom mirror. The guesthouse had the barest of amenities, so all he had was the mirror over the sink. He’d spent almost an hour getting ready and hadn’t been able to decide what to wear from his few nicer clothing choices. It was as if he were one of his sisters preparing for a barn dance. He chuckled at the thought, even as he acknowledged it was true.
Glancing over at the one clock in the main area, he noted it was almost time to leave to catch the rail car. The timepiece was set in the stomach of a carved wood owl. Sam had brought it up from the big house and placed it on the coffee table for him. He’d told Linus that it was one of his favorite things and he wanted Linus to use it while he stayed there. It was nice the way Sam and Aaron made sure he was okay all the time. He hoped to be able to repay their kindness someday.
The Fear of Surrender Page 4
