Aaron strolled up to the car as Thomas slowed. He reluctantly switched off the engine. In his imagination, he’d pull up, Linus would race over, throw his bag in the car then hop inside. Then they’d share one quick, heated kiss before Thomas turned the car around, bringing his boy home with him as fast as he could. He chuckled at his fantasy. They had the whole evening ahead to exist in each other’s eyes and after that—the rest of their lives.
“Wonderful day, isn’t it?” Aaron winked at him.
“That it is, friend. That it is.”
Thomas moved to open the door to step out, but Aaron gestured for him to stop.
“No, I know you both are anxious to get going.” The corner of Aaron’s mouth quirked into a smile. “And I certainly don’t blame you.”
Thomas nodded, grateful for Aaron’s understanding.
Aaron leaned down and whispered so the boys couldn’t hear. “I’m so glad for you both, I really am. I know how heartbreaking the situation in Santa Barbara was, but I think Linus was waiting for you.”
The sting of tears filled the backs of his eyes. He nodded. “Thank you. I would have to agree.”
Aaron pressed his lips together, clapping him on the shoulder. He straightened and gestured Sam over. “Come along, little Sam. It’s time we get back to the house and enjoy our day.” Aaron turned and winked at him again. “And leave our friends to enjoy theirs.”
There were more well wishes and a hug between Sam and Linus that touched Thomas. He knew how difficult expressing affection with his friends was for his lover, despite how it ran contrary to their intimate encounters. It was nice to see Linus opening up as he became more comfortable than ever with expressing himself in different ways.
Once Linus was in the car, his small bag of belongings stowed in the back seat, Thomas took the kiss he’d needed from the moment he’d spotted his boy. Linus held back, not letting go the way he always did. It was because Sam and Aaron were there watching. It reinforced what Linus had always maintained—he enjoyed watching others, but didn’t desire to be watched. It was fine. Thomas didn’t object to it—he’d never thought of himself as a true exhibitionist.
They waved at their friends as they left, then headed down the driveway to the beginning of their new life. Even though it was daytime, Thomas couldn’t help himself. He had to have their hands joined.
“Love you, boy.”
The grin that spread across Linus’ face was a wonder. Thomas had to be careful to keep his eyes on the road—the temptation to stare openly at his lover was strong.
“I love you too, Sir. Very much.” He giggled.
Thomas couldn’t control the small laugh that sputtered out of him. He’d never heard such a noise from Linus before. He squeezed his hand.
“That was lovely. You’re lovely.”
Linus bit his lip and lowered his head. There was still a smile there and Thomas could swear his boy was trying to keep another giggle inside. It was okay. He wouldn’t push him. That he’d let one joyous laugh out without tamping it down was wonderful enough—he knew that that had been a big step for him.
They turned the corner onto his street and his heart sped up as they drew closer to his home—the one he would no longer be living in alone. As he pulled in his driveway he tensed, his heart rate accelerating for an entirely different reason.
Oh dear God. It can’t be.
Evan sat on his porch steps.
Chapter Eleven
He swallowed, nausea roiling in his stomach at what felt like a vise wrapped around his heart. How can it be? He stamped on the brakes a bit too hard, the car jerking forward as it stopped. He hadn’t taken his eyes off Evan and Evan stood, openly staring back. Thomas loosened his hold on Linus’ hand, pulling away before he even realized he’d done it.
“Who…um, who…is…um…?”
A strangled sigh came out of Linus and Thomas was ashamed at how quickly he’d let go of his boy.
“Linus, sweetheart. Don’t let this upset you.”
Linus lifted his gaze to Thomas and he could see the confusion and hurt there. Even if he didn’t realize that it was Evan on Thomas’ porch, it had to seem strange that there was an attractive young man waiting in front of Thomas’ home—the home he’d been told would be his from then on. It was also oddly reminiscent of the night Linus had shown up unannounced at his place as well.
“I…I don’t, um… I don’t understand.”
Thomas glanced around. Sure enough, one of his neighbors was out watering his damn roses. He couldn’t gather Linus in his arms to reassure him.
“I’m not sure I do either, but I’m going to figure it out. I love you—only you. Remember that.”
“But…but, um, do you know him?”
He could never lie to his boy and there was no point in drawing out the inevitable.
“Yes. It’s Evan, the one I told you about.”
“Ev— That’s him? Oh…oh no.”
Thomas was in agony, so he could only imagine how it must be for his boy. “Sweetheart. You’re mine and I’m yours. All yours.”
Linus had a wild look on his face and he couldn’t sit still. He flitted his eyes around, not allowing his gaze to land anywhere near Evan. His fists clenched and unclenched and his entire demeanor radiated stress.
“Are you listening to me?”
“I…I, um, I have to go…”
Linus reached for the handle and Thomas grabbed his arm.
“Boy, stop.”
Linus yanked his arm away. “No. You stop.”
There was clear anger in his voice, but Thomas could also hear the sadness. It broke his heart.
“We’re going to go inside our house then I’m going to try and figure out what the hell he’s doing here.”
A small sob escaped Linus’ lips. “Have you, um, have you…? Oh God, I can’t.”
“Have I what sweetheart?”
He glanced over at Evan who’d wisely stayed where he was, but had shielded his eyes with his hand as he watched them—no doubt curious about Linus as well.
“Been, um, have you been seeing, um seeing him…oh…” He took a deep breath. “Fuck you.”
If their current circumstances hadn’t been so unbelievably horrible, he would’ve burst out laughing. In any other situation, he would have been proud that Linus was taking a stand for himself, expressing his anger. However, there were other things that needed to be dealt with first.
Why the hell is Evan here? How did he even find me?
“Yes. I understand your confusion over this because I’m just as confused as you are. But I said I would handle it, so I need you to trust me. Do you? Do you trust me like you said you did, boy?”
Linus whipped his head to look at Thomas. He’d obviously struck a nerve. Linus nodded.
“Words. You know what to do, boy, don’t you.”
“Yes, Sir, I do.”
Thomas gave him a warm smile, hoping his eyes would convey his intent even more so than his words. “That’s my good boy.”
Linus visibly relaxed, the tension leaving his body.
“This is what we’re going to do. Get your bag then come with me inside. Let me worry about how to handle Evan. Is that clear, boy?”
“Yes, Sir. It is.”
Linus didn’t appear very happy at all, but at least he was listening to what Thomas had to say.
What a nightmare.
Even if Thomas had never met Linus, even if he’d never found another submissive man to partner with again—he’d never once considered any scenario where Evan would show up on his doorstep. A troubling thought came to him. What if something bad had happened to Evan? Was he in trouble? Had his new Master been the actual abuser?
Despite their broken love affair and Evan being the one to choose to leave, Thomas felt a responsibility toward him. When he’d been his Master, he’d always protected and cared for him. He still held love for him, but it was no longer of a romantic nature. He couldn’t turn Evan away if he truly needed help.
Thomas groaned.
Linus stood next to the car, clutching his possessions and pointedly looking away from the porch. Evan had begun to rock back and forth on his feet and had shoved his hands into his pockets. He cast his eyes down.
The way I trained him.
Thomas’ gut clenched. He had the bizarre thought that he wished he’d invited Aaron and Sam to come by, then he could’ve had a buffer. Of course, the last thing either of them had thought of doing was spending their Sunday together socializing when they each had boys to fuck. But he would have loved to have had Aaron’s advice on how to proceed.
Thomas checked where his rose-watering neighbor was. The bastard was in the process of drowning his flowers. He’d obviously become quite interested in the proceedings, as he’d not moved from his spot next to the driveway the entire time Thomas had been there. What it meant was that he couldn’t hold Linus’ hand or put his arm around him for reassurance. He would also have to herd both of the young men into the house as quickly as possible before any type of scene occurred.
“Come on, boy. Let’s go.”
Linus kept his eyes down too and Thomas had a stray thought of neither of the two submissives ever actually seeing one another even if they were to be in the same room together. Thomas stayed behind Linus to encourage him forward and pointedly ignored his nosy neighbor. When he was within a few feet of Evan, he halted. He pressed his lips together as he noted both boys peek up from under their lashes to inspect the other. They obviously hadn’t expected to be caught looking because they both frowned, pursing their lips and narrowing their eyes before lowering their gazes again. Thomas was surprised they hadn’t growled too.
“Boy, go inside and wait for me in the bedroom.”
He’d addressed Linus, but Evan appeared confused for a moment as if he thought Thomas was speaking to him.
Of course. Why wouldn’t he?
“No. I…I, um, I want to…I—”
“Don’t argue, boy. In the bedroom. Now.”
“I’d listen to you, Master. I always have.”
“He’s not your Master!”
That was clear. And loud.
“That’s enough. Both of you inside, right now. You’re making a scene and I’m very disappointed in your behavior, Linus.”
Linus gaped at him, his eyes wide. He hated having to dress him down in front of Evan, but the situation was becoming more unraveled and it was imperative to get them all out of the public eye immediately. Linus hugged his bag to him then stomped inside, making a show of pushing the door open and not holding it for the rest of them.
Evan kept his gaze cast down, his posture perfect as he walked gracefully inside. He was putting on quite the show for Thomas’ benefit. He had the dreadful feeling that Evan had shown up to win back Thomas’ heart—and not because he needed some sort of help.
Once they were all inside, Thomas shut the door then locked it. He wanted to maintain some measure of control over the situation. At least the rose-obsessed neighbor couldn’t come barging in, if nothing else.
Evan dropped to his knees on the carpet. Thomas stifled a groan, not wanting it to be misinterpreted. He was actually in physical pain, mortified at how the perfectly beautiful day he’d had planned to spend with Linus had been ripped from him by Evan’s shocking arrival.
It’s been ripped from Linus too.
He glanced over at his boy who was scowling at Evan, his fists clenched. Tossed in the corner was the bag containing his possessions. It wouldn’t surprise Thomas in the least if Linus didn’t try to take a swing at Evan. He needed to restore the connection between him and his boy. It couldn’t be about Linus fighting for his right to have Thomas. There was nothing to fight for—they belonged to each other and nothing could break that. Once he’d resolved whatever it was that was going on with Evan, he intended to do something about claiming Linus in a more permanent way. He was done dragging his heels.
Thomas approached Linus, who stood to one side of Evan. Linus was tense, angry. Thomas stopped directly in front of him. They were close enough to Evan so that he could hear their exchange. He placed a finger under Linus’ chin and tilted it up. Linus looked to the side, his bottom lip pursed, refusing to meet Thomas’ eyes.
“I love you.”
He descended on Linus’ mouth, capturing the errant lip between his teeth, scraping it just a bit then using his tongue to prod Linus into opening up for him. He kissed him gently, allowing his love to be conveyed through their joining. When he pulled back, Linus gazed up at him, his pupils dilated, the tension in his body eased.
“I love you too, Sir.”
There. No hesitation. That’s better.
“Good boy. Now go wait for me in the…in our bedroom until I figure out what’s going on.”
Linus swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, and Thomas could see the inner struggle going on for his boy.
“Okay, um, okay, Sir.”
Thomas smiled at him, hoping it would reassure him more.
“That’s my good boy. I promise I won’t be long.”
Linus attempted a smile back, but his hurt turned it into an expression more akin to someone with a stomach ache. Thomas didn’t blame him. It was pretty much how he felt about the whole situation too. As soon as Linus left the room, Thomas turned to Evan. He sighed.
“Evan. Get up off the floor then please take a seat on the sofa.”
“I don’t understand, Master. Don’t you want—?”
“And that’s another thing. Linus is correct. I’m not your Master.” He cleared his throat. “Not anymore.”
Evan rose to his feet, but his shoulders were slumped and he hung his head as he walked over to the couch to sit down. He perched himself on the edge of the cushion, his eyes darting around the room as his former bravado dissolved.
“Linus. Is he…?”
“He’s my boy.”
“And you’re his Master?”
“Evan, I’m not going to discuss my relationship with Linus with you. That’s something we keep private between us.”
Thomas noted that Evan flinched and he felt bad. He hadn’t actually meant to rub his nose in it. He’d simply been telling the truth.
“Oh.”
Thomas scrubbed his face with both hands. He was completely out of his element. As sexually free as he’d been since he’d begun taking men, he’d only had two important relationships. That both of those men would be in his home at the same time was something he never could’ve prepared for.
“Evan, why are you here? I need you to be straightforward and tell me the complete truth. I don’t need any more surprises for a while, so I don’t want to discover later on that there was something you held back.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll go. Sorry.”
He was about to push up from the couch and Thomas wasn’t about to allow that after all the grief both he and Linus had just been put through.
“Sit. Now.”
Evan dropped back on the sofa. He’d obviously been living with a Dominant man—Thomas assumed the Master he’d moved in with—because his responses were instantaneous.
“Where’s Master Gabriel? Why isn’t he taking care of you?”
Evan’s lower lip quivered. Anger filled him, building as he imagined the worst.
“Did he abuse you? Hurt you? Where is he?” Thomas growled. “I’ll fucking kill him.”
Evan shook his head, tears falling. “No. He didn’t hurt me. He left me.”
Thomas frowned. The rat bastard had seemed so obsessive in his quest to win Evan from him.
“Left you? For someone else?”
Evan nodded, sniffing. “He said he was tired of me. A new boy had shown up and he wanted him. He told me he would’ve kept me too, but the other boy wouldn’t allow it, so he chose him because he wanted someone new, someone fresh.”
A virgin.
Thomas dropped his head in his hands. So much anguish for nothing. He took a deep breath. It was time to figure out what to
do with the young man who’d once belonged to him.
“How did you get here, and how did you know how to find me?”
Evan peeked up at him. “Master Gabriel found out from someone who sometimes goes to Hampton Road that you were down here. He found out your address and gave it to me.”
“He…he what?”
“And he gave me the money for the Pickwick bus to bring me here. He said to give myself to you. He said…”
Evan’s face reddened and he dropped his gaze.
Thomas could only imagine what other horse shit might’ve poured from Gabriel’s mouth. “Out with it. What did he say?”
“I don’t want you to think I believe him. I know he’s a liar now.”
Thomas smirked. “Precious good that does you at this late date.”
He couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice. Gabriel had been one of the more vocal members who’d decried Thomas’ wish to pierce Evan.
“You’re right.”
Evan’s voice was barely above a whisper and Thomas ached for him and for all that they’d hoped they could be.
“Then what else did he say?”
He couldn’t meet Thomas’ eyes. “That you would take me back because you were so sappy that you’d probably never gotten over me.”
“I see.” Thomas wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He certainly didn’t have issues expressing his emotions unlike some Dominant men did. Many of them saw it as a sign of weakness to give any affection to their lovers. In Thomas’ view—and Aaron as well, it being something they’d discussed at length—they believed that is showed more strength. They were able to Master their boys, but openly show their love without fearing a loss of control.
“I’m so sorry. I really am. I don’t know why I let them talk me into thinking you were bad.”
“It’s probably for the best.”
Evan had his eyebrows scrunched together, an expression of hurt on his face. Thomas realized he’d been unclear with his words.
“You weren’t ready for me to claim you permanently. You still didn’t know what you wanted, so it was easy for them to sway you.”
The Fear of Surrender Page 14
