I’m expected to obey them in all things. I’ll be living under their control twenty-four seven for three months. The document makes it clear that I will only be permitted to wear whatever they deem appropriate, and I’m gathering that won’t be much nor often.
I’ll sleep where I’m told. Eat what I’m told. Drink when I’m told. It’s overwhelming. In exchange, I’m guaranteed an introduction into the most sensual world in existence.
I fidget in my chair as I read, my mind wandering to visions of kneeling naked in front of all of them, hands behind my back, shoulders pulled back, knees wide. I know this position. Claudia showed me last night. It’s a standard position of submission.
The thought of my heavy breasts swaying exposed makes my sex clench, and not in a bad way. What does that say about me? That I would gladly strip for three men and let them boss me around? I’m not sure I haven’t lost a marble or two.
When I finish reading, I have a hundred new questions. Some are more pressing than others. I wonder if they intend to have sex with me right away, and honestly, I’m wondering because I desperately hope the answer is yes. My next concern is about my lack of experience. They can’t possibly realize I have no experience with men at all, let alone BDSM. Should I tell them?
What about protection? How many women do they sleep with at the same time? Who else will see me naked? Meredith? Randle? Other friends of theirs? Will they expect me to go to the club with them? Perform in front of others?
So many questions.
A noise behind me makes me twist my head to find Julius sauntering back into the kitchen. His fingers are tucked in the pockets of his gray pants. He’s wearing a dress shirt but no tie. All three of them had been dressed business casual this morning when I entered the kitchen.
He slides into the chair at the head of the table next to me, the same one he occupied before. He smiles. “You okay?”
“Yes.” My voice squeaks.
“Questions?”
“A million.”
“Good. I’d be worried if you didn’t.”
I lower my gaze to the paper I’m still holding. “It’s overwhelming.”
“Overwhelming good or overwhelming bad?”
“Mostly good,” I admit.
“Figured that would be the case. We wouldn’t have proposed this if we didn’t think you could handle it and benefit from it at the same time. I’ll warn you that your life won’t be the same after you train with us. Don’t take that lightly.”
I lift my gaze to him and swallow. “My life already isn’t the same.”
His smile broadens. “Touché. But kick that up a hundred notches. At least now you’ve done nothing but watch a video, get a few pointers from Claudia, and read some paperwork. The first time you submit to us, you’ll feel the power exchange in a whole new way.”
I nod slowly. He’s so relaxed. I’m so nervous.
He continues, “I’m basing nearly everything I know on how Levi described your reaction to watching Beck with Katarina and how Claudia spoke of your interactions last night.”
I widen my gaze, not sure how I feel about Claudia sharing our experience with Julius.
Julius shakes his head. “Don’t worry. I don’t mean to imply she broke a confidence. She didn’t describe details. She spoke mainly of her observations about your reaction, confirming she believes you to be submissive. That’s what matters here. If I didn’t fully think you were submissive, I would never suggest this path for you. It would be a waste of time if you weren’t going to enjoy the process.”
“Okay,” I murmur, wondering how he has pegged me so well. Is there a type?
“Katarina is here,” he announces, watching me closely. “We thought you might like to watch her perform.”
I sit up straighter, squirming.
When Julius glances down at my torso, letting me know he’s aware of my discomfort, I force myself to sit still. “Is Beck going to dominate her for the camera?”
“No.” Julius reaches out and cups my cheek endearingly. “When we work with a woman, we don’t play with others. Claudia is going to dominate Katarina today. We chose Claudia because you’ve met her. We chose to have Katarina over because I think you can benefit from watching how we film people in the lifestyle and because you’ve already seen her in action. Plus, she’s always willing to help out a newbie.”
“Newbie?”
He strokes my cheek with his thumb, distracting me while offering another indulgent smile. “That’s what we call someone when they’re first introduced to BDSM. You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to do anything. You have free will. But I think it will help you make a decision if you watch Katarina and Claudia in action. They’re amazing together. People tend to surround them when they perform at Surrender.”
I try to wrap my head around that. “Like an audience?”
“Yep. It’s not for everyone, but many people benefit from it. Some people enjoy being watched. Others enjoy watching.” His hand slides down to cup my neck gently. “Some people desire a demonstration. Some decide they never want it to end.”
“And you think if I give submission a try, I’ll be one of those people who can’t stop.”
He shrugs. “I can’t be sure of that, but I suspect.”
I inhale long and slow, tipping my head into his palm. “I think I’d like that.”
“Good girl.” He slowly stands, his fingers sliding down my arm to grasp my hand. “Come.”
I shudder as I let him lead me from the room, that one word ringing in my head. Forceful, demanding, deep, gravelly, sexy, promising.
He answered one of my pressing questions too. Now I know the men don’t intend to sleep with other women while they’re with me. At least I assume, since they only dominate one woman at a time. That’s a relief.
Chapter 20
Master Julius
I’m calm on the outside, but on the inside, I’ve never been so out of my league. This is a new experience for all three of us. We don’t proposition women. We usually provide women who come to us with guidance and a service, ensuring they know themselves better when we’re done.
I don’t fall for them. None of us do. So, we’re in over our heads because I’m certain all three of us are wrapped around Abby’s finger. I don’t have the foggiest notion what kind of submission she might turn out to be best suited for, but I suspect she’s going to go off like fireworks when and if we get the chance to work with her.
I’m dying to know what kind of sexual experiences she’s had in the past. Can she get herself off with her fingers, or does she need a vibrator when she’s alone? What kind of men has she dated? Does she scream when she comes?
I grit my teeth and shake these thoughts from my head. I need to focus right now, not get ahead of myself. As if I could possibly focus on anything but Abby with her small warm hand clasped in mine.
I lead her out of the kitchen and down the hallway to the staircase. The door is already unlocked. Everyone else is downstairs. At the top of the stairs I pause and turn so that I’m facing Abby. I cup her cheeks with both hands and tip her face up toward mine. “We’re doing this because we think it will be helpful for you, but if you get uncomfortable and decide you don’t want to continue, you can leave at any time. I need you to understand that as a submissive, you’re always the one with the power.”
She sucks in a breath, her brows furrowing.
I lean closer, wishing I had the right to kiss her. I don’t. Not yet. But right now, I need to ensure she grasps my meaning. “Abby, you hold the power because you always have the right to say no.”
“Okay.” Her voice is barely a whisper.
“I’ll be watching you. We all will. But we don’t know how to read you well yet, so I need to be sure you’ll speak up if you need anything.”
“I will. Thank you.”
I hold her gaze for a few seconds. If she consents to our plan to train her, she won’t be speaking to me in the future without addressing me with respect.
But right now, she’s not there yet. Though I long to hear the word Sir fall from her lips. It’s been one day since Levi conveniently fucked up and changed everything, and in that one day I’ve failed to keep my personal wishes from creeping to the front of my mind.
I’d be lying to myself if I said I hadn’t thought about Abby this way until yesterday. The truth is that I’ve pictured her on her knees in front of me dozens of times, starting with the day I first googled her and saw her picture.
I don’t get attached to the submissives we train. I don’t even consider the prospect. I’m in deep with this woman, and she hasn’t even consented to submit to us yet.
I set my forehead against hers and close my eyes, inhaling deeply, the scent of her shampoo filling my senses. Raspberries maybe.
She sighs, her warm breath hitting my lips.
We say nothing else. Finally, I ease back and take her hand again, leading her down the stairs. I know she’s nervous because her grip on my fingers is tight. When we reach the bottom of the stairs and step into the main room, I circle behind her and set my hands on her shoulders, keeping the two of us close to the stairs so we won’t disrupt the scene in the event Abby can’t handle this. I’m fully aware she may need a hasty retreat back up the stairs. “You’ve met Claudia, of course. The woman on her knees is Katarina. She doesn’t have permission to address you.”
Abby nods, her teeth biting down on her bottom lip. I watch her over her shoulder and then I glance at Beck. I know he’s aching to run his thumb along her lip and pluck it free. I know he’s going to enjoy breaking her of this habit too. If he gets the chance.
Levi is setting up the camera, and Abby turns her attention toward him. “You’re going to tape them?”
“Yep.” He winks at her, all cocky. “It’s what we do, sweetness. It’s what Katarina enjoys. Being filmed is one of her favorite kinks.”
“Oh.”
I slide my hands down Abby’s arms and thread my fingers with hers from behind. It’s too familiar. I shouldn’t be taking such liberties with her.
Claudia meets my gaze, her expression pensive. Her gaze flicks down to our combined hands and back to mine. She knows me well. We’ve been friends for half our lives. She knows I don’t date. That I don’t let anything get serious. That I don’t do girlfriends and romance and flowers and chocolates.
Yeah, Claudia knows I’m not myself with this woman. I’ve stepped over a line I drew years ago. I can’t stop myself. Even though she’s watching me, half with interest, half with concern, I still keep my fingers intertwined with Abby’s.
I can tell myself I’m doing it for her. After all, she’s nervous. She could use something to keep her focused, comfort her, soothe her.
But I’d be lying if I spoke any of that nonsense out loud. Abby is keeping me grounded. Not the other way around. I’m enjoying the contact. Ever since I cupped her face at the top of the stairs, I’ve found my heart rate lowering. She feels good in my arms. No, my arms aren’t wrapped around her, but close. In fact, I set my chin on her shoulder and whisper, “Just watch.”
Chapter 21
Abby
My gaze is on Katarina. My attention is on the way Julius is pressed against my back, his hands gripping mine possessively. I’m surprised, but not disappointed. I like how it feels to be held by him. When he cupped my face a few minutes ago, I thought he might kiss me. Irrational, but the fleeting thought made my heart race all the same.
I don’t understand what’s happening between me and these three men, but as long as one of them is touching me, I know I won’t panic.
Claudia stares too long at our connection. Her gaze jerks up to meet Julius’s. Her expression is carefully schooled, but I’m bright enough to grasp that she’s equal parts surprised and concerned.
Interesting.
Levi is behind the camera, working on the angle, glancing every few seconds into the viewfinder to see if he’s pleased. Apparently not yet.
Beck is setting up the scene behind Claudia and Katarina. The door to one of the closets is open this morning, but from my angle I can’t quite see what’s inside.
They’ve been planning this for a while though because a bench is situated next to Claudia and she’s absentmindedly stroking the dark leather with her fingertips. She introduced me to this kind of bench yesterday. I gather that it has many uses and wonder what its intended use is today.
I assume Katarina is wondering the same thing based on the way she keeps squirming as she glances toward the bench, her bowed head tipping slightly to one side.
Suddenly, Claudia sets a palm on top of Katarina’s head and angles it toward the floor. “Manners,” she murmurs.
“Yes, Ma’am,” Katarina responds.
I flinch, instinctively drawing my hands forward, intending to cross them. I come up short, however, because Julius has a hold of both my hands at my sides, and he doesn’t let go. “Stay still,” he whispers in my ear, making me shudder. “I want you to watch for now. I’ll do my best to give you a play-by-play, but with so few people in the room, we need to be careful that our voices don’t carry and disrupt the scene.”
I nod subtly. Julius’s breath on my neck raises goose bumps.
Levi finishes fiddling with the camera and plants himself in a wide stance behind it. “Okay,” he says softly. “Whenever you’re ready.”
Claudia nods toward Levi as Beck steps between me and Levi to stand behind all of us to get out of the shot.
I hold my breath as Claudia glides behind Katarina, sets her hands on the pale pink silk robe Katarina is wearing, and slides it over her shoulders and down her arms.
I bite into my bottom lip to keep from making a sound as I realize Katarina is now completely naked. She’s even smaller than I pictured her from the video I saw. Her olive skin is flawless and gorgeous. Her hair is long and thick and silky smooth. I bet it feels extremely soft. She also has no hair below the neck.
I swallow. I realized her sex was shaved bare from the previous video I saw, but seeing her like this in person is different. I’ve never had the guts to stick a razor between my legs, nor have I ever had the need to. Who would have seen it but me? And I laughed at Sabine when she told me she gets it waxed off by strangers. Hell to the no.
Claudia drops the robe on a chair and runs her fingers through the ponytail, letting the long strands fall between her knuckles. “Do you think you can rise gracefully this time, little sub?”
“Yes, Ma’am,” Katarina murmurs.
I wonder if Claudia is making reference to some prior event when Katarina wobbled as she came to her feet.
“You understand that I have to punish you, right?”
“Yes, Ma’am.” Katarina’s voice falters. She sways slightly forward.
I turn my head to glance at Julius who leans his lips close to my ear and whispers, “They’re acting right now. Setting a scene for the camera.”
“Oh,” I mouth, catching on. Claudia is pretending that Katarina has committed some offense that requires punishment. I assume it’s going to involve the bench.
Suddenly, Claudia yanks Katarina’s ponytail, forcing her head to tip back. “Stand. I want you on your belly on the spanking bench.”
Katarina waits until Claudia releases her hair, and then she rises carefully, first planting one foot and then the other. When she comes to her feet, I realize she isn’t that much shorter than me.
Katarina hurries over to the bench and climbs onto it. Her belly rests along the center piece, her small breasts hanging on either side. She arranges her knees and elbows on padded leather supports and lowers her face so that one cheek rests against the bench.
Levi slowly moves the camera around to the side of the bench so that Katarina is facing the lens. He brings the camera low next, crouching down. He’s between me and Katarina now, and my breath hitches as he zooms in to capture her face.
It occurs to me that these men are professional photographers, so the quality of this video is going to be much higher
than the average porn.
Claudia leans in close to Katarina’s ear and then points at the camera. “See that tiny red light?”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“Don’t take your eyes off of it.” She returns to her full height and begins circling around to the other side of the bench, dragging the tips of her fingers down Katarina’s spine.
I realize Claudia wants to capture every moment of this on camera, especially Katarina’s expressions. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to expose their naked body to the world like this. Not that Katarina intends for the entire world to see it, but once something is filmed, there’s always a risk.
Hell, case in point. I saw one of Katarina’s videos without anyone meaning for me to.
I shift my gaze to Claudia. She’s so regal. Professional. She’s wearing a gray pencil skirt and a thin baby blue sweater with a deep V-neck. It fits snug around her amazing breasts. I’m certain she has on an expensive bra also. The sleeves are three-quarter length, and she has a thin gold bracelet on one wrist and a gold watch on the other. Three rings adorn the fingers of each hand.
I let my gaze roam up Claudia’s body from her gray pumps to her perfectly styled blond bob. Even her makeup is fantastic. I wonder where she was meant to be today if she hadn’t been pulled in to do this shoot for my benefit.
A sharp clicking noise draws my attention to Claudia’s hands as she fastens a thick pink leather cuff around Katarina’s wrist and then clips it to the padded section of the bench where Katarina’s forearms are resting.
Katarina gives her arm a slight tug.
Claudia moves to her other arm, carefully not obscuring the view of the camera. And then she does the same to both of Katarina’s ankles.
I stiffen, swaying a bit at the effect this has on me. In theory, I should have been prepared for this part. Claudia explained to me just yesterday that many times submissives are restrained to a bench. I shouldn’t be shocked.
Teaching Abby (Surrender Book 2) Page 9
