by Cathie Linz
Her eyes narrowed. “This isn’t easy.”
“Nothing worthwhile is.” That comment reminded Jake of how Emma had flown off the handle when she’d thought he was calling her easy. He’d go see her as soon as he finished here.
“As I was saying, the accident got me to thinking,” Lulu said. “And it hit me that I didn’t want anything happening to you and that maybe we might have a second chance at not being so angry at each other.”
“I’d love a second chance,” Zoe said unsteadily. “With both of you.”
“I’m just along for the ride. For moral support,” Jake said.
“Yeah, right,” Lulu scoffed. “He’s the one who said I should come out here and talk to you, tell you how I felt.”
“I said you should come out here,” Jake reminded her. “Not me.”
“And I told him I wasn’t coming without him because he’s family now.”
Zoe nodded. “That’s right.”
Jake eyed them all suspiciously. “You’re not going to do a group hug or something, are you?”
“Hell no.” Jerry walked up to him and gave Jake a bear hug that just about cracked his ribs.
“We’re gonna hug you one at a time.”
“Not necessary,” Jake said.
Lulu’s hug was almost as tough as Jerry’s while Zoe’s was tentative and hopeful.
“Okay, not that that’s settled, how about some lasagna?” Jerry said. “I made a new batch last night.”
Jake checked his watch. Emma would still be at the hospital for a while yet. “Lasagna sounds good,” Jake said.
“Our first family dinner sounds even better,” Zoe said.
Emma was on her cell phone when she opened the door for Jake. That didn’t stop him from kissing her.
“Hello? Hello?” Emma heard the woman’s voice in her ear, but Jake’s tongue was in her mouth and that was where her focus was for the moment. “Are you there?”
Jake ended the kiss but kept his arms around her.
“Is this Emma Riley?”
“Yes.”
“This is Cynthia Abrams from Academic Media Press. You e-mailed your book proposal on risk takers to me. I have good news. We’d like to buy it.”
“What?” Emma stepped away from Jake, only then realizing he’d released her bra.
“We’d like to buy your book about risk takers,” the editor repeated.
“You would? Really?”
“Yes, really.”
Emma handed Jake a beer and then locked herself in the bathroom so she could concentrate on what the editor was saying. She emerged ten minutes later and did her own version of Oliver’s happy Snoopy dance.
“What was that all about?” Jake asked.
“They want to buy my book!” She still couldn’t believe it.
“What book?”
“About risk takers. I e-mailed a proposal, but I never thought they’d buy it.”
“Risk takers? You mean like me?” His expression turned cold, as cold as the mountains that had almost killed him. “Is that all I was? Some sociology experiment for your book?”
“No, of course not!”
Emma saw the change come over him, saw him revert back to the dark and dangerous man he’d been when she’d first walked into the bar. A man ready to lash out at anyone who threatened the protective wall he’d built around himself. “What right do you have to pry into my private life?” A muscle jumped in his clenched jaw. “Too bad I found out before I spilled my guts to you for your tell-all book.”
“That’s not what this is. The publisher is a small press specializing in nonfiction.”
“Like tell-all books. How long have you had this in the works? From the day you walked into the bar looking for me?”
“No! I e-mailed the proposal after I saw you and that bare-breasted woman in the bar.”
“And this was your payback for that?”
“No. I’d honestly forgotten I’d even e-mailed it because I was so upset that night. You came over . . . and we made love for the first time.”
“We had sex.”
“It was more than just that. It was something special.”
“It’s always special.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Maybe not for you . . .”
His insinuation was clear. Emma felt the cruel barb like a blade through her heart. She was nothing special. Words failed her for a moment.
“But you said . . .” Her voice was too unsteady to continue.
Jake shrugged. “If you’re studying risk takers, then you should know we like to win and we’ll say or do whatever it takes to do that. Chalk it up to male curiosity. I wondered what it would be like to nail a brainy girl.”
Another direct hit. She wasn’t sure how many more she could take. But she saw a flash of vulnerability beneath the anger in his golden brown eyes that kept her doggedly soldiering on.
“You don’t mean that. You’re angry—”
“Damn right I’m angry. I’m not usually this gullible.”
“I wasn’t trying to fool you or to hurt you.”
“It takes a hell of a lot more than this to hurt me.” He headed for the door.
“Wait! Where are you going?”
“Far away from you.”
Her final scrap of hope died with his words . . . and his departure.
Chapter Eighteen
Emma sank to the floor and angrily wiped the tears away as fast as they fell. His words still echoed inside her head. I wondered what it would be like to nail a brainy girl.
Jake had certainly done that and more. He damn well may have broken her heart. The pain came in recurring waves of burning tears followed by periods of humiliation and numbness.
Okay, enough. She got up off the floor. She might have been knocked down, but she refused to stay there.
She should be celebrating her good news about the book deal. Instead she was a mess. She curled up in a fetal position on the futon before realizing the sheets smelled like him. Like Jake.
Just last night he’d held her so tenderly in his arms and made her feel as though she were the only woman in the world he cared about. Had he really cared about her, he would have listened to her explanation about the book.
Was that project worth losing him over?
You never really had him in the first place. He’d told her so himself.
Emma leapt up and yanked the sheets off the bed, replacing them with a new set. Then she opened her laptop and got to work. She had plenty to do now that she had a book deadline as well as her research project to complete.
And talk about research, she had tons of that to do about risk takers. One hard lesson she’d already learned thanks to Jake—risk takers were total heartbreakers.
Emma worked through most of the night, avoiding the futon even with its new sheets. She finally crashed around 4 a.m. But she didn’t sleep well at all.
After a few hours of tossing and turning she got up and inserted a new tai chi DVD into her laptop. She needed to calm down and tai chi was her best bet for doing that.
It didn’t work.
She kept at it. “Relax. Breathe easy,” the tai chi instructor on the DVD said. “This movement is known as stroking. Gently stroke an invisible wall . . .” Yeah, a sexy, muscular wall like Jake’s bare chest. No, wait, that wasn’t the image she was supposed to have.
“Now we gently move into our next movement called stoking the fire . . .” Jake was an expert at stoking her fires, his devilishly skillful fingers knowing exactly where to touch her for her maximum pleasure.
Tai chi not helping.
She clicked off the DVD and collapsed on the futon. Her prone position gave her an unrestricted view of the ceiling but did nothing to help her discover the answers she’d hoped to find by returning to her hometown.
Where was she going? Downhill fast was her immediate answer.
Had she made the right choices? ot where men were concerned, that’s for sure.
What abo
ut her future? She didn’t have one with Jake. Move on.
What if she failed? Hell, she’d already messed up so many things that failure was no longer a fear but a fact.
Whoa. That last agenda item hit her. Let’s go over that one again. Failure was no longer a fear but a fact.
Yeah, she liked it. Liked it a lot. She had finally given herself permission to screw up and it was surprisingly liberating.
She took a shower and ate a power breakfast, doubling the amount of fresh blueberries and toasted almonds on her organic yogurt. She was worth it.
The mantra I am academic diva, hear me roar worked hard at drowning out I am dumped woman, hear me cry. And it even succeeded to some degree until Lulu and Oliver showed up on Emma’s doorstep.
“What’s going on?” Lulu demanded.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that Jake left town.”
“Left town?” Emma repeated stupidly.
“Yes, as in he’s vacated this location.”
“His apartment?”
“The entire town.”
He’d said he was getting away from her, but she hadn’t expected him to leave so fast or so far.
“But what about Mutt?”
“He gave the dog to me.”
“You mean he asked you to take care of Mutt for him until he comes back.”
“No, I meant what I said. Jake gave the dog to me along with a big bag of kibbles and Mutt’s bowls. The dog is back at my apartment now, probably gnawing on the woodwork with separation anxiety. Mutt really loves Jake. And so do I.”
Emma looked at her in surprise. “I didn’t realize you guys were that close.”
“He’s my brother. Well, my half brother.”
Emma blinked. Maybe it was her lack of sleep last night, but she was having a hard time keeping up with Lulu. “What are you talking about?”
“He didn’t tell you?”
“No. He angrily informed me I had no right prying into his private life.”
“Then maybe I shouldn’t say anything.”
“Yes, you should,” Oliver said. “Emma loves that guy.”
“The feeling is not returned,” Emma said, her throat tightening with suppressed emotion.
“Jake doesn’t love me.”
“Yes, he does,” Oliver said.
Emma shook her head. “Trust me, he doesn’t.”
“Jake isn’t the emotional kind,” Lulu said. “That runs in the family. He got it from me.”
“Actually traits don’t run that way,” Oliver said. “They come from the two parent’s genes.
Besides, as the eldest sibling—”
“I wasn’t speaking scientifically,” Lulu said.
“Oh. Right. My mistake.” He blushed. “I always speak scientifically.”
Lulu kissed Oliver’s cheek. “That’s one of the things I love about you. But getting back to Jake . . . Why did you think he was here in Rock Creek?” she asked Emma.
“I don’t know,” Emma said. “I asked him but . . .” Now Emma was the one who blushed.
“He distracted you with sex,” Lulu filled in. “Yeah, I do that with Oliver.”
“You do not!”
She kissed him with a lot of tongue. “Yeah, I do.”
“Can we get back to Jake?” Emma said.
“You have to swear you won’t tell another soul.”
“I swear.”
“If you were Leena or Sue Ellen, I’d have you swear on some designer bag, but I don’t know what to have a smart girl swear on.”
“Swear on your laptop, Em,” Oliver told her.
“Fine. I swear on my laptop.”
“You didn’t put your hand on it,” Lulu pointed out.
Emma glared at her.
“Okay, okay. Jake came to Rock Creek to find his birth mother,” Lulu said. “And he found her. Zoe.”
“Your mother?”
“That’s right. You can figure out on your own that since we share the same biological mother that makes us half siblings.”
“Yes. I can figure that out.” Emma could also figure out that Jake didn’t trust her enough to confide in her about his real reasons for being in Rock Creek. Which clearly indicated that he felt no emotional connection with her. She was merely the brainy girl he’d nailed, nothing more. “I’m . . . happy for you both.”
Then she burst into tears. Like her sisters, Emma was not a pretty crier. But she was a quiet one. Usually. Not now. Now the pain just came pouring out in big honking sobs that had Oliver looking panicked and Lulu looking confused.
“Why are you so upset that Jake is my brother?” she asked Emma.
Oliver thought a moment before snapping his fingers. “I’ve got it! She’s crying because Jake didn’t tell her any of this himself. Am I right, Em? Did I get it right?”
Emma nodded and reached for a handful of tissues to mop up her face. She felt like an idiot.
She’d shed enough tears over Jake.
“Yes!” Oliver punched his fist into the air and did a brief happy Snoopy dance. He stopped the instant he saw the look on Lulu’s face.
“That dance may be appropriate when you master a song on Guitar Hero III, ” Lulu said,
“but not when your friend is clearly suffering.”
“Right.” Oliver nodded. “Inappropriate behavior. Got it.”
“Actually, I’m not sure that dance is good in any situation, but who am I to judge?” Lulu shrugged. “Dancing is such an individual expression.”
“I’m sorry about that.” Emma had her self-control back and was determined to hang onto it no matter what new revelations came to light.
“Don’t be sorry about my dancing,” Oliver said.
“I was referring to my total meltdown,” Emma said.
“Don’t worry about it.” Oliver awkwardly patted her shoulder. “I had the same reaction when my brother didn’t get the Comic-Con tickets he promised me.”
“So what happened with you and Jake to make him take off the way he did?” Lulu asked Emma.
“I told him a publisher wants to buy my book proposal about risk takers.”
“Uh-oh.” Lulu shook her head. “And Jake thought you were using him, right? You weren’t, were you?”
“No, of course not. But he wouldn’t listen to me.”
“He’s stubborn. Like me. But you can’t give up on him.”
“Sure I can,” Emma said.
“No. You have to at least try and get him back. My granddad always tells me to follow my dreams, to shoot for the stars, and if you miss, you may land on the moon.”
“Yes, but there’s no oxygen on the moon,” Oliver pointed out. “If you landed there without the right equipment, you’d die. And what about gravity or the lack thereof?”
Lulu gave him another look.
“Right. I was thinking scientifically again.” Oliver hung his head. “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t be sorry, just help me convince Emma to go after Jake,” Lulu said.
Oliver frowned. “How can she do that? We don’t have any idea where he went.”
“Right. Wait.” Lulu snapped her fingers. “I have his cell phone number. You must have it too, Emma. You should call him.”
“No way.” Emma shook her head so hard her vision blurred. “Not in this lifetime! It’s over.
End of discussion.”
Of course, it wasn’t the end of the discussion since an hour after Lulu and Oliver left both her sisters showed up on her doorstep. Word traveled fast in a small town like Rock Creek.
“The rat bastard,” Sue Ellen growled. “How dare Jake dump my baby sister and skip town!
How about I have Donny dump septic sludge on his Jeep?”
“Or I could have Cole dump camel poop on his Jeep. I think I read someplace it smells really bad.
I’m not sure where he’d get any around here, but I’m sure he could come up with something.”
Leena had just gotten back from her honeymoon and looked fit
and tanned from her time in Bermuda.
“Jake and his Jeep have already left,” Emma reminded her sisters.
“Right,” Sue Ellen said. “The rat bastard.”
“Don’t call him that,” Emma said.
“Why not?
“Because it reminds me of something he said.”
Sue Ellen was infuriated. “He called you a rat bastard?”
“No, he said he didn’t give a rat’s rectum.”
Sue Ellen’s anger cranked up another ten notches. “He said he didn’t give a rat’s rectum about you? He’s worse than a rat bastard! What’s worse than a rat bastard? Come on, help me out here.”
“You’ve got it all wrong,” Emma said. “He said he didn’t give a rat’s rectum about winning.”
“The bleeping buzzard. How does that sound? Worse than a rat bastard?” Sue Ellen asked.
“Are you listening to me?” Emma said.
“Of course I am. Wait, I think the baby just kicked. That or it’s indigestion from the pepperoni and Cheerios I ate for breakfast.” Sue Ellen burped like a trucker. “Yeah, it’s indigestion. False alarm, folks.”
“How can we help you, Emma?” Leena asked.
“Don’t tell Mom. Or Dad.”
“Well, Dad isn’t a problem since he’s still in the hospital. Cole and I visited him first thing this morning. Mom is something else again.”
“Yes, she is.”
“She’s going to hear it from someone. She probably already has.”
As if on cue, there was a knock on Emma’s front door. “Emma, open up. It’s your mother.
You don’t have your head in the oven, do you? Don’t do anything stupid.”
Emma opened the door before her mother said anything else to fuel the gossip fires.
Maxie rushed in and hugged Emma. “Oh, hon, I just heard that Jake dumped you. I brought some hair coloring so you could wash that man right out of your hair.”
Seeing the desperation on Emma’s face, Leena said, “Emma needs some time alone right now.”
“But I just got here.”
“And now you’re leaving. With us. Come on, Mom. Let’s go.”
Maxie continued protesting even as Emma’s sisters led her out. Emma closed the door after them and leaned against it.
“What doesn’t destroy me strengthens me” was one of her favorite quotes by Nietzsche.
Emma wondered if he’d ever been dumped . . . and then threatened with hair coloring.
