by Muhammad Ali
The key to peace of heart and mind is approaching life not with a determination to gain wealth and fame for comfort and glory in this life, but rather with a goal of realizing spiritual development. If you keep a positive mind and an optimistic outlook on life, negativity loses its power to make you unhappy. God’s love is universal. He is with us always. Let Him guide you and you will never be lost.
fear
MANY PEOPLE SAID I was afraid to go to war. The truth is it was tougher to stand up for my religious beliefs against the United States government and millions of people who turned against me for my decision than it would have been to go to war. The government offered me all kinds of deals. They told me I would never hold a gun. They told me I would give boxing exhibitions and that I would never come near a battlefield. Even if this had been true, I still couldn’t go. They wanted to use me to lead other young American men into the war. They didn’t seem to realize that to take their “deal,” I would have had to denounce my religion, my faith, my beliefs. But I was free and I was determined to be true to myself and God. If I had turned my back on my religious beliefs, my life would have been like a ship without a rudder on the open sea. Nothing could be more frightening to me than to try to live without my faith.
So they took my title, my financial security, and they tried to take my freedom. But they could not take my dignity, my pride, or my faith, because those were solid, real, and constant in my life.
PARENTHOOD
I TRIED TO prepare my children for the challenges they would face as adults by teaching them what I’ve learned about life and religion. As parents we try to shield our children from the dangers of the world. We want them to have a good life, and we want to prevent them from making the mistakes we did. But although our children come into the world through us, they do not belong to us. It is our job to raise them and guide them, not control them, and to love them no matter what.
When my youngest daughter, Laila, told me she was going to be a boxer, I thought she was joking. When I found out she was serious, I was scared that she might get hurt and scared of the many other dangers she would face in the violent and unpredictable world of boxing. But she is independent and opinionated, like me, so I knew that she would make her own way. I told her that whatever she decided, I would support her. It turned out that she was very good. I tease that she got her talent from me, but I know that it takes more than talent to accomplish what she has. The hard work and determination were all hers.
Someone once asked me why I love children so much, and why I like to hug them. I told him that I always felt a special connection with children; they bring such joy to our lives with their innocence and sense of wonder. When I’m around children I feel closest to God; they are so open and honest.
I didn’t get to hug and kiss my kids enough when they were growing up. Between the demands of boxing and the traveling I had to do to earn a living, I did not have enough time with them.
I’ve been married four times and I have nine children. I try to stay on good terms with the mothers of my children. Children must be free to love both of their parents and not have to take sides to defend one parent against another. Even though I could not live with all my children, I knew it was very important that I acknowledge my love for each of them and be available to them if they needed me. I tried to do this but I know I didn’t always succeed.
* * *
I didn’t have any children with my first wife, Sonji. Maryum, Muhammad Jr., and the twins, Jamillah and Rasheda, were from my second marriage, to Belinda. The kids were still young when we divorced, and there were weeks at a time when I didn’t see them, even when we were living together, because of the traveling or training for a fight. After we separated, our children went to live with Belinda’s parents in the suburbs of Chicago, and I visited them as often as I could. Sometimes I would watch cartoons with them on Saturday mornings. One of their favorite shows was The Adventures of Muhammad Ali. We would go out for breakfast and spend time just being together. Some of my favorite memories are of time I spent with my children. It seems such a miracle that they are mine.
I would tell my children that I loved them, and that no matter where I was in the world, I would be thinking of them and would always be their daddy. I think the biggest price my children and I paid for the demanding work I had was the loss of being with my children during too many important milestones in their lives, too many of the ordinary day-to-day times, when memories are built and life occurs.
Veronica, my third wife, and I had two children together, Hana and Laila. When Veronica told me she wanted a divorce, it was very hard for me, but we remained friends. In the beginning, I was afraid that when she remarried, some other man would take my place with the girls. I visited the girls as often as I could, but of course it wasn’t the same as living with them.
I can still feel the pain and sense of loss from not being able to wake up in the same house with my children, and not being there when they got home from school. I hated being separated from them.
Even before the divorce, Hana never wanted me to leave. One time, when she was only five years old, I had to leave to train for a fight. Hana was crying and said something that was hard for me to hear. She said, “You’re not my daddy. You’re Muhammad Ali.” She said that I was only her daddy when I was home with her.
In 1986, I married Lonnie, my current wife, who had lived across the street from my mother in Louisville. Her mother and mine were good friends. Lonnie and I have a son, Asaad, whom we adopted when he was a newborn.
After I moved to Michigan with Lonnie, we would fly all of my children to the farm for summers. We called this time “Camp Lonnie” because she did all the work, organizing and keeping it interesting. This was not an easy task; it took a lot of time and energy. But Lonnie did it because she knew how much it meant to me. Not only did we have my children here, but we also had my friend Howard Bingham’s two sons, and two of Hana’s and Laila’s friends as well. I don’t know how Lonnie did it, but I will always be grateful to her. Bringing all my children together, even for brief periods, was the best gift she could give me.
I have two daughters from other relationships, Miya and Khaliah. They were also very much a part of my life. I didn’t want my children to grow up as strangers or to compete with each other. Sometimes I feared that because I was not married to the mothers of Miya and Khaliah, and because the girls never lived with me, they might feel less connected to me. This was especially true of Miya, because she has a lighter complexion than me and favors her mother in her appearance.
Because we didn’t live together, Miya was teased at school and around her neighborhood. Khaliah didn’t have the same problem because she looks a lot like me and Mama Bird. I remember an occasion when Miya’s mother, Pat, telephoned me and explained that Miya’s classmates and other children in the neighborhood were saying that Miya was not my child. They told her that she didn’t look like me, and that they had never seen us together. So, I flew to New Jersey, where she lived.
I picked up Miya the next morning and we drove to school together. I sat through each of her classes, and when school was out we drove home. Then we walked up and down the neighborhood streets holding hands, so everyone could see that she was my daughter and I was her father.
A favorite dream of mine has always been to have all of my children living together in one home. I always wanted them to know each other, to be friends, and to love one another.
Each of my children is unique and talented in his or her own way. God has blessed me. I’m a lucky man.
DADDY
BECAUSE THE DEMANDS of my career often kept me from home, I missed many of the little things that are among the greatest joys of parenthood, like being there for first words, first steps, first days of school. Of course, my separations from their mothers prevented me from being an ongoing everyday presence in my children’s lives. Some of my children saw me more on television than in person, and spoke to me most often over the phone. I sincer
ely regret that loss to them and to me. I was not as good a parent as I wanted to be—as my children deserved.
I knew at the time I was missing so much. Now I know how much.
* * *
Whenever I could, I would record my children laughing, talking, crying, and playing. I would take a small tape recorder and capture the moments early in the morning as they got ready for school and ate breakfast. In the evening I would pick up where I left off and begin recording again, catching the moments when they were playing on my office floor or getting ready for bed. When we were together, I would have long conversations with them on tape. Because I did this so frequently, the children would forget the tape recorder was present. I have hundreds of these little audio tapes; they are my most cherished possessions. I often look at photographs and listen to these precious moments of my children’s lives, when I was still Daddy, and so much still seemed possible. It all went by too fast.
I tried to be the greatest boxer in the world and a good parent, too. I had instant feedback on my success as a boxer. Often, parents don’t really know if what they are doing is right or wrong until their child is grown and it is too late to change any of the decisions. Whatever my failings as a parent, I am very proud of all of my children. It wasn’t easy for them to make their own way with such a controversial and public father.
FAME
ONE DAY I’m going to die, and in heaven it won’t matter what job I had, how much money I made, or how educated I was. What really matters in life is prayer, living right, and doing good deeds, because this life is just practice for our eternal life. When people look up to us, even the way we speak to them can have a profound effect on them. I never wanted to hurt anyone’s feelings or damage anybody’s confidence, so in my private life—my real life—I tried to be especially careful about how I spoke to people. A word said in haste can have lasting effects. Some people tend to read a lot of meaning into the simple words that are said by those who have some fame. This can be good if people take something out of your words that helps them, but it can be harmful if they take something out of your words that can damage their self-respect.
While I always lived my life the way that I felt I had to, and not to please others, I still felt I had a responsibility as a role model for young people. I had to be free, but I had to do what was right. I was aware that many people—especially young people—looked up to me, so I abstained from using bad language in public, getting into drugs, or doing something to bring shame to myself and my family. I tried to live a clean and upright life not only because of the challenge of being a role model, but because it was the right thing to do.
When a man is a traveler, the world is his house,
and the sky is his roof, where he hangs his hat
is his home, and all the people are his family.
Drew Bundini Brown
with
GOD’S HELP
I ALWAYS SAID that someday I was going to hitchhike from New York to California with nothing: no money, no food, and no clothes except what I was wearing. Then I’m going from California over to Asia and from Asia to Europe, and from there to Africa and South America. I’m going all around the world with just my face, to see how people greet me and take care of me. I think I could go just about any place in the world, knock on any door, and people would know me and let me in.
I might even march on foot through Venezuela, Israel, and the Sudan, all those countries, and tell people to stop fighting and agree on a peace that’s fair to everyone. Some people say that might be dangerous, but you have to take risks in life. Columbus discovered America by sailing around the world when people thought he’d fall off. Men went to the moon by risking their lives.
And then, when my trip is done, I’m going back around the world the other way. And I’ll buy food and clothes for everyone I met before.
In the ring I fought for my livelihood.
Before the government I fought for my religious beliefs.
In the world I fought for respect and justice.
Now I’m older and I’m tired—
But I’m still fighting.
I’m fighting illness, I’m fighting hunger,
I’m fighting poverty, and
I’m fighting for human dignity.
I’ve gone all over the world,
using this face that people know so well, and
fighting for peace and understanding.
A STORY OF
Gratitude and Generosity
My favorite of all the Sufi stories that I have learned over the years is the one about a slave named Omar.
ONCE UPON A time there was a slave named Omar. He had been brought before the king with one hundred other slaves. From the moment the king laid eyes upon Omar, he knew that he was someone special.
The beauty of Omar’s aura enchanted the king so much that he instantly made him his assistant.
It was not long before Omar gained the trust and confidence of the king, who put him in charge of his treasury, where all of his precious gold and jewels were kept. Many of the king’s men became envious of Omar’s new position. They could not understand why he should rise from a slave to keeper of the king’s treasure.
Soon their envy grew into spite. They began to tell stories in order to bring Omar into the king’s disfavor. One of the stories was that Omar woke up before everyone else in the palace and went into the room where the king’s jewels were kept—and that he was stealing the jewels little by little every day.
When one of the king’s men told him what was being said, the king responded, “No, I cannot believe such a thing! You’ll have to show me.”
Therefore they brought the king to watch in secret as Omar entered the treasury room. The king saw Omar open the safe. But what did he take out of it? It was not the king’s jewels, but his old ragged clothes that he had worn as a slave. He kissed them, pressed them to his face, and laid them on the table. Incense was burning and the king could see that Omar was doing something important to him.
Omar put on his old clothes, looked at himself in the mirror and said, “Look, Omar. See what you were before. Know that it was not your worthiness that brought you to this position, but the king’s generosity and goodness in overlooking your faults. So guard this duty as your most sacred trust, in appreciation of his generosity and kindness. Most important, never forget your first day—the day when you came to this town. For it is the remembrance of this day that will keep you grateful.”
Omar then took off his old slave clothes and put them back into the safe. Then he put back on his princely robe. As he headed for the door, he noticed the king standing in the doorway.
The king looked at Omar with eyes full of tears and said, “People told me that you had stolen jewels from my treasure room, but I have found that you have stolen only my heart. Omar, you have taught me a valuable lesson. It is a lesson we all must learn, whatever our position in life may be. We must always be grateful, even for the hardships we have known. Then the king looked into Omar’s eyes and said, “Omar, I may be the king, but it is you who have the royal heart.”
RESPECT
IT IS SAID that there are two ways of dealing with people: One way is to control them, the other is to respect them. By controlling, you weaken the will of the other person. By respecting, you acknowledge the other’s personal will. In one case, you make a person a slave, in the other, you make him a partner.
Long ago there was a wise man who lived among the elephants in India. He shared his food with them and slept near them at night. At the same time, there were men who were caretakers of the elephants who controlled them with spears and commands. The elephants usually cooperated with them, but when an elephant was mad, it did not obey the caretakers, and during those times the caretakers were sometimes killed.
But the wise man had a good relationship with all the elephants. His tactics were different. He would approach the elephants with kindness and ease, pet them gently, and speak to them with a tender voice. This is
how he was able to sleep among them unconcerned, and in all of the years that he lived among them, not a single elephant ever harmed him.
Sufi Teachings
UNITY
WITH ALL OF our inventions and technology, with all of the planes in the sky, ships on the ocean, along with the discoveries of stars and planets, nothing can be agreed on concerning peace. When stronger nations begin to care for weaker nations, we will see unity. When people lend a helping hand without having to receive something in return, we will see humanity. And the reward will be peace among nations and brotherhood among men. When there is a crisis, tragedy, or national disaster, such as an earthquake, fire, flood, people set aside their differences and come together. We are like magnets, unable to resist the force that causes us to unite during such times.
God is working even in the face of catastrophe.
If only for a moment we could reach our original spiritual state of oneness, our heavenly and earthly natures joined; if we could learn to serve and love one another better, we would witness a better world.
recipe for a
GOOD LIFE
HERE IS MY suggestion …
Take a few cups of kindness
One dash of humility
One sprinkle of laughter
One teaspoon of patience
One tablespoon of generosity
One pint of forgiveness
One quart of love
And a gallon of faith
Mix in determination and add lots of courage;
