“There’s no way you can do it, and keep your sanity,” I said. “You’ll lose yourself. You’ll be no more than a puppet on a string.” She wouldn’t be Sarah. She’d be a conduit, a circuit. Nothing more.
“You can’t Command. You know nothing about it. With help, I can keep them all under control. I can keep them all at peace. You won’t have to fight anymore,” she said. “You can have your freedom, your free will. It’s been promised. All you have to do is join us.”
I looked down. I could feel the tears forming on the edges of my own eyes. She waited patiently while I tried to find the words that could change her mind. In the end, I knew there weren’t any.
“I’m sorry,” I said, looking up. “If you won’t stop this yourself, I’m going to have to stop you. I won’t let you do this, Sarah. Not to yourself, and not to the people I’ve promised to protect.”
People like Javier, who deserved to live his dream. The name sparked in my mind, and my memories came flooding back. Rebecca, Zeek, the fire demon and the plane. That’s why I was here. I had overused my power and nearly killed myself. Whatever subconscious strength I had that kept Sarah out of my head was gone, and she was able to get in. Had that been the goal of the attack? She wouldn’t come just to try to recruit me, not when Rebecca had already tried and failed. There was something else she wanted.
I tried to move, but I was rooted firmly in place, my limbs solid bricks cemented to the floor. “What did you really come here for?” I asked her, my voice an angry shout.
She smiled, reached out and cupped my face in her hand. “Shhh. It’s okay, brother. Relax. I won’t hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you. I wanted you to join us, so we could be a family - you and Rebecca and I. She loves you, you know. She has since the first time she saw you. I love you too. I couldn’t have asked for a better protector, a better big brother.”
While she was speaking, her hand slid up from my cheek towards my temple. I felt a heat and charge of energy below it when it came to rest.
“What are you doing?”
Her hand was getting warmer, and I began to get dizzy, my eyes shuddering open and closed and my life playing through like a bad movie. The images danced around me, my first birthday party, my father before he died, the school play. She was Googling my existence.
I closed my eyes tight, and tried to fight against it. She wanted something, something I knew. There was nothing in my lifetime that she could possibly need, but there was one memory that came after. She wanted to know where I had hid the Grail.
“It’s okay, brother,” she cooed, using her power to Calm and removing my focus from her efforts. “I’m not going to…”
I heard her sharp intake of breath, and felt her hand fall away from my head. I opened my eyes and saw her on the floor in front of the bed, Ulnyx on top of her, trying to hold her down.
“What is it with you and women?” he growled, finding purchase on her wrists and pinning her to the floor.
Life returned to my body, and I started towards them. I never would have expected the demon to come to my aid.
“Let me go,” Sarah said with complete calm.
Ulnyx stiffened, and then his hands dropped.
“Get off.”
The Were was robotic, shifting and moving to a stand. Sarah pushed herself to her feet and looked at me. “Your pets can’t help you, brother. You’re too weak to control them better than I can.”
“Sarah?”
Three heads turned at once. Josette was standing in front of the white light of my power, no less angelic in a simple white frock and bare feet. Her eyes were wet with a mixture of sadness and joy.
Sarah didn’t move. “Do I know you?” she asked.
“Yes,” Josette replied. “We’ve met before. A long time ago.”
Sarah cast her eyes to the floor, trying to remember. Josette started walking towards her, eyes locked on her daughter, hands out to the side.
“I don’t remember you,” Sarah said, raising her head and meeting Josette’s gaze. “You’re so familiar to me, but I don’t remember.”
Josette smiled. “You were just an infant,” she said. “I’m not surprised you don’t remember me. But I remember you. I’ve never forgotten you, and I will never forget you.”
She reached Sarah, putting her hand onto the girl’s cheek. She was frozen, and I waited for the moment that she would find the commonality and make the connection, that she would know it was her mother standing right in front of her.
The moment came too soon. Sarah’s eyes widened, and then narrowed, and she backed away. “No,” she said. “You can’t be.” She looked at me. “Brother, tell me it isn’t true. Tell me that my mother hasn’t been right in front of me this entire time, and you’ve said nothing. Tell me you didn’t kill her.” Her voice rose to a shout, and the entire world around us shuddered in response to her pain.
“Sarah, wait,” Josette said, reaching out again.
“No,” Sarah screamed, still looking at me. “I trusted you. I believed in you. Why didn’t you tell me? How could you do this?”
“Sarah, listen to me,” Josette pleaded.
“No,” she said, tears falling from her eyes. “I’ve seen so many things, but I never saw this. I never knew, and you never told me, and now I know why.” She looked at Josette. “I’m sorry, mother.”
She put up her hand, and Josette froze in place. Her attention returned to me, and I lowered my head.
“Sarah, I’m sorry,” I said. “I wanted to tell you.”
“Stop talking,” she Commanded, and the words were too powerful to disobey. “You had five years to explain. Five years to tell me how you absorbed my mother’s soul, to give me a reason and a way to understand. It doesn’t mean anything once you’re caught.
“I see things, Landon. Things that haunt my mortal dreams. Futures that may or may not come to pass, things that have been and may still be. In all of these futures you were there, and you took care of me. You looked out for me, and protected me from the darkness that threatens to envelop all of us. I believed in you, I loved you. I don’t know how I could have seen it all so wrong. You killed my mother, Landon, and I’m going to kill you.”
My body became frozen again, and it was just as well because the pain that echoed through me would have shaken it to dust. I should have told her from the beginning, but I always thought that either she already knew, or she would never have to know. It was a stupid thought, but being Divine didn’t mean being perfect.
Sarah stepped up to me and put her hand back on my temple. “First, I need something from you,” she said. “I was trying to do it without hurting you before. I hope it hurts like hell.”
It did. It hurt more than hell possibly could. Every second of my life expanded and contracted in an instant, every emotion magnified and intensified, altered and twisted into nothing but direct agony that rippled throughout my being. The world around us trembled, the walls cracking and crumbling, a horrible, awful howling of emptiness and hurt unlike any sound any sane creature could ever produce.
I knew when she found the memory, because it was the one instant when the pain stopped. For just the barest fraction of time she lifted her hand. “Thank you, brother,” she said with a hateful snarl. “Now, die.”
The pain returned, doubled upon itself, causing my frozen body to defy even Sarah’s commands and contort into a ball, leaving me fetal on ground that was rattling and shaking apart with every passing second. The howling intensified, a forlorn banshee wail that coated every molecule of my whole with distress.
Sarah’s eyes were wild, blinding in orange fury, her own face mangled by her pain and anger. She poured it all into me, transferring it in a stream of power unlike anything I could comprehend. I lay on the floor, curled up in indescribable agony, just waiting for it to end.
The last thing I saw was Josette frozen in her own spot, a single tear tracing its way along her cheek and tumbling in slow motion to the floor.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
I was still screaming when I woke up, my voice hoarse from all of its efforts. Still weak, still cold and shivering as a result of my excess, I couldn’t see right away. My eyes took in only a blurred vision of reality, lots of red and gold all around me, an arm reached out to my forehead, a face, black hair, a huge black blob of mass. The scream sputtered out into a cough, and another hand held out a glass of water.
“As mortal as you’ll ever be,” she said. “Try to relax and accept it. You’ll heal faster that way.”
I knew the voice. Charis. At least I had been right about something. I took the offered glass in a shaky hand, spilling some of it as I brought it to my lips. It felt like glass trailing down my throat. I coughed half of it back up.
“Easy,” she said. “You’ve forgotten what it means to be alive. Your body doesn’t know how to react.”
My eyes were beginning to focus, and I could see a little more clearly. It was definitely Charis positioned next to me on the king sized bed, laying on her side in a sharp white suit with a red blouse underneath. She smelled like fire and roses. I recognized Zeek now, standing at attention at the edge of the bed.
“What do you mean, alive?” I asked.
“Ezekial told me what happened, about how you flew. It was a gutsy move, but you knew the risk; although I guess you didn’t understand the specifics. When you over-exert like that, your physical self loses its connection to your Divine self. For all intents, your body becomes mortal again. You feel cold, you tremble, you need to eat and drink. Remember what I told you would happen? You lost your sense of living, and now it’s forcing itself back on you. It’s a shock.”
I tried the water again, with a little more success. “Why didn’t you tell me more? About what would happen? About Rebecca?”
She smiled, a sad smile. “I would have, if I had known. There’s so much we need to talk about, Landon. So much you need to know. Most importantly, I’m as human as you are. I make mistakes, I misjudge people, I put my trust into the wrong hands. It sounds like a punishment, but it makes us strong. It makes us unpredictable.”
I couldn’t argue with that. “What you did tell me, about the balance. I understand.”
She nodded, and took her hand from my forehead. I missed its warmth immediately. “Lay back and rest while we talk.” She turned to Zeek. “Zeek, you’ve done a commendable job getting him here. Why don’t you go downstairs and get a bite to eat?”
The big man bowed. “Of course, m’lady,” he said. “See you around, Landon. You owe me for that axe.” He laughed his way out of the room. A moment later I heard a more distant door close.
“So you’ve found the texts?” she asked.
I laid back onto the softest pillow I had ever felt. “Most of them,” I said. “I’m not really sure what they mean.” I looked at her. “If you knew about them, why weren’t you collecting them.”
“If I had taken them, what would you have been searching for? I needed to know when you were ready, and to see what you would do. You’re an amazement to me, Landon. It took me nearly two hundred years to reach the same point you’re at today.”
“You didn’t have anyone to throw what you were back in your face, I guess,” I said.
“No, I suppose not,” she replied. “Believe me when I tell you, I think you had it easier in that regard.”
“So now what? I’m still missing one of the strings. Everything else is useless without it.” I paused, thinking of what had just happened with Sarah. “Besides, that’s the least of my concerns right now.”
She shrugged. “I agree. The texts can wait. Tell me what was happening to you. Zeek carried you in here screaming. He said you’d been at it non-stop since before he brought you through the rift. I know something was attacking your mind.”
The thought of it still hurt. “What else do you know?”
“Rebecca returned from Hell stronger than I could have imagined any vampire to be,” she said. “At first, I thought she was just going to work on consolidating her power within her kind, but her actions have been… erratic. I found out she was working with Gervais, and that she had you in her sights. We’ve had Templars watching the archfiend for weeks. When you turned up in Paris, I kept Ezekiel tailing you at a safe distance. Everybody converged on the Eiffel Tower, and you know the rest.”
“So you don’t know about Sarah?” I asked.
She shook her head.”Who’s Sarah?”
“It’s a long story,” I said, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, trying to calm down. “The short version is that she’s the demon Gervais’ and the angel Josette’s daughter. She’s a true diuscrucis.”
Charis’ entire face changed, and every sense of her turned cold. “Tell me everything,” she said, her voice flat, scared.
I couldn’t stop my eyes from tearing up as I tried to put it to words. I told her about my relationship with Sarah, how we met in the sewers below New York, how I had cared for her at her mother’s request. I told her about what Gervais had said, and what Rebecca had told me. Finally, I told her about what she was doing to me, trying to kill me in anger over her mother. When I was done, she sat there in silence, her expression grim.
“I should have told her,” I said. “It was bad enough she was buying into Rebecca’s promises, but maybe I could have changed her mind. Now, there’s no way.”
Charis put her hand on my shoulder. “You did what you thought was right, what you thought you needed to do to keep her safe. We can’t always know the consequences, or whether they will come back to bite us later. We can only do the best we know how. If you did what you did out of love, there is no shame in the outcome, no matter how much we might want it to be different.”
“Except most of the time the decision doesn’t have the fate of the world hanging on it,” I said. “She thinks I betrayed her. She was angry before. I’m afraid of what she’s going to do now.”
“I know,” she said, no longer talking to me, but some other invisible presence. “You warned me this could be the endgame. We couldn’t have known, not this soon. Yes, I know. We should have been more careful.”
She turned her attention back to me. “What’s done is done, Landon. Be strong, and stay hopeful, because this isn’t over yet,” she said. “Ezekial got you to us on time, and Vilya was able to ward your mind. Sarah will be able to See you as soon as you leave the ward if she’s looking, but she won’t be able to get back in once your strength is returned.”
She motioned upwards, and I noticed for the first time that I was laying in a round four-posted bed, with a huge, ornate canopy hanging over me, and tied back drapery flowing around us. The wood of the canopy was scarred with an intricate pattern of demonic runes. The sight brought me to understanding, and I sat back up to look into Charis’ eyes. The maneuver was easier this time, my energy slowly returning.
“Vilya,” I said, searching my counterpart. Her red eyes flared. “I should have realized sooner. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Charis said.
“There’s more,” I said. “It’s already started. I’m sure you felt the balance shift too. Sarah’s started Commanding angels.”
“Three so far,” Charis replied. “The three that attacked you. Rebecca summoned the fire demon. It was all part of their plan to weaken you.”
“I know. We have to stop them.”
“We can’t,” she said. “Not yet. You need to get your strength back, and then we need to prepare. You may have learned a lot in the last five years, but you’re still raw. You’ve only scratched the surface of what a diuscrucis, even a second-hand version like us, is capable of.”
She leaned forward, and kissed me lightly on the forehead. “Go to sleep for a while, and be at peace. I know you’d probably like to talk to your angel, but the wards will prevent any other soul from communicating with you. Don’t worry though, I’m going to teach you how to speak with them, the way I speak with Vilya. I’ll be back in a few hours.”
She smiled the warmest s
mile I’ve ever seen, and slid gracefully off the bed. I laid back down on the pillow, and then remembered something. “Charis,” I said, causing her to come back to the bed.
“Yes?”
“My clothes. Can you grab my cellphone?”
“Landon, you should rest.”
“I need to check on my friends. I’m not going to be able to rest until I do.”
She nodded and made her way over to a massive ornate armoire resting against the wall. She opened the doors and pulled out my jacket, unfolding it and retrieving the phone. As she did, Avriel’s Box tumbled to the ground.
Charis bent over and picked it up, looking at it in wonder. “Where did you get this?” she asked in a whisper. She turned it over in her hands, examining every surface.
“Rebecca tried to trap me with it.”
Her head snapped towards me. “This prison already has inhabitants,” she said.
I shook my head. “They’ve been paroled,” I replied. “Avriel and the demon Abaddon. The last time I saw them they were in the sewers beneath Paris.”
“She released them?”
“She needed the Box to catch me.”
She held the Box in her hand and brought me my phone. “First things first, but a scourge like Abaddon can’t be allowed to stay in this world for long. None of this will mean anything if he remains.”
I had witnessed the demon’s power. I didn’t doubt it. “Agreed. Do you know how it works?”
“No, but I think I may know someone who does. Make your call, and go to sleep. I’ll return soon. If you need anything, ring the bell on the nightstand. Ezekiel will hear it, no matter where he is.”
I twisted my head so I could see the small golden bell on the nightstand. It was sitting in front of an ivory lamp.
“Where are we anyway?” I called out to Charis’ retreating back.
“Thailand,” she shouted back, and then she was gone.
I actually had two phone calls I wanted to make. I fought against a sudden overwhelming fatigue and navigated my way to my call log. I found the last number and dialed it again.
Betrayal (The Divine, Book Two) Page 17
