by Sean Kennedy
It’s okay, Emma texted back. These things happen. Speak soon.
She almost automatically added a series of kisses but stopped herself in time. Don’t let your freak flag fly until the third date, Goldsworthy, she thought.
Micah had already given her a spare key card, so she avoided the reception and went straight up to his room.
It was like a mausoleum in there. The curtains were drawn, the lights were dimmed, but she could still make out the two sprawled bodies in the bed. Kyle was on his back—wow, he had a really hairy chest, like Neanderthal level—and his modesty was only preserved by a corner of the bedsheet. Micah wasn’t as chaste. Lying on his stomach, his bare arse was on display to all and sundry, and she unconsciously gagged at seeing her friend like that. His left arm was draped over Kyle’s chest with such an unguarded intimacy Emma immediately felt guilty for being a witness to it.
But not enough to stop herself from yelling out, “What the fuck do you two think you’re doing?”
They both sprang awake, Micah instantly pulling the sheet away from Kyle to wrap around himself. Both Kyle and Emma yelped as a Playgirl centrefold sprang into life before her, with Kyle showing far too much to a platonic friend and her seeing far too much to not be traumatised. Both boys scrambled around on the bed as the sheet was wrapped around Kyle as well, and they were left sitting on their knees with a bedsheet pooling from their waists.
“We fell asleep,” Micah told Kyle, redundantly.
“Really?” Kyle rarely used sarcasm, but he was dripping with it right now.
“Why didn’t you knock?” Micah demanded of Emma, his embarrassment sliding into anger.
“Because you gave me a key, you fuckwit! I didn’t know I’d find you entwined naked together!”
“Well, to be fair, neither did we,” Kyle said.
“Is that meant to be funny?” Emma asked.
“What?”
“You both have boyfriends!”
“And it’s none of your business,” Micah fumed.
Stupid fucking boys. Well, Emma wasn’t going to be a part of their drama. She had played the shoulder to cry on for Micah so many times that she might as well have been the neutered gay in a romantic comedy who had no plot of their own other than to help the poor beleaguered heterosexual with their problems. Okay, yay progress, because this time it was actually a gay helping another gay out, but when Micah deliberately went out of his way to create problems for himself it all got a bit tiring.
“Great,” Emma said. “Then I won’t have to worry about it.”
And she turned on her heel and left, ready to go back to her dorm and call it a night.
Chapter 7
EMMA’S MOBILE started ringing as soon as she got into a taxi and had given the driver directions to the AIS. She stuck the ringer on silent and threw it back in her bag.
“Rough night?” the driver asked.
“Not for me,” she replied.
When she trudged up to the rooms, Alya was sitting on the couch watching the television.
“I thought you were out partying?” she asked.
“Boys suck” was the only answer Emma could be bothered giving.
She looked amused. “Yeah, I know. That’s why we’re dykes. But at the moment girls suck too.”
Emma closed the door behind her, finding sanctuary in her solitary cell of a bedroom. Not all girls sucked. She knew she was currently in a holding pattern with Jess, but that would change soon. She hoped, anyway.
By now messages had been added to her list of missed calls.
Micah Johnson: I’m sorry. Please come back xxx
Micah Johnson: I came after you, you know. It just took me a few minutes to put on clothes. I saw you getting into the taxi. You didn’t pick up.
Micah Johnson: Not that that excuses what I said. I was a jerk.
Micah Johnson: Okay, I was a dickhead.
Micah Johnson: I WAS A FUCKWIT.
Micah Johnson: I was whatever you want to call me. And I know you already have a choice supply.
Kyle Marks: We’re on our way over xxx
Emma smacked her mobile against her forehead. The last thing she wanted was them coming here. She wanted to go to bed and not have to hear them trying to justify themselves to her. She just didn’t care right now.
There was a knock on her door, and Alya stuck her head around it. “Um, I know you said all boys suck, but there’s two here to see you.”
Emma sighed as dramatically as possible. “Fine. Let them in.”
“You’re not really going straight, are you?”
“No, just experimenting with fluidity. You’re welcome to join the orgy if you like.”
“No thanks.” Alya gave her that look that meant she didn’t know whether Emma was winding her up or being deadly serious. Maybe the two gay guys and the lesbian really were going to test their sexual boundaries. Alya had probably seen stranger things happen.
Emma could only grin. If she had had any inkling Alya might be interested, she would have never joked about it. Because that would be awkward. Mind you, she felt Micah and Kyle could stand a little more awkwardness at this very moment.
They shuffled in like naughty primary school students fronting their principal.
“I only just got your texts,” she told them.
“We sent them ages ago,” Micah said. He still had the remnants of a scowl, as if he had any right to be pissed at her.
“Yeah, well, I was ignoring your calls, so I didn’t even look at my phone.”
“At least she’s honest,” Kyle told Micah.
“Like either of you can lecture me about honesty,” Emma said.
Dead silence between all of them. This was going to end in tears.
Micah sat on her bed with a deep breath. “Kyle says that you’ve been saying I’m acting weird lately.”
“And this is just proof of it.” Emma pointed at Kyle. “I expected better of you.”
“Things have been strange,” Kyle said. He sat next to Micah and held one of his hands between both of his. It was gentle, intimate, and loving. “And it made things… strange… between us again.”
“So what’s been going on?” Emma asked.
Micah looked at Kyle.
“Do you want me to wait outside?” Kyle asked.
Micah nodded, as if he couldn’t even bring himself to speak.
Kyle tried to give Emma a comforting smile as he brushed by her. But she was starting to freak out. She sat next to Micah and took his hand. It didn’t seem to have the same comforting effect that Kyle’s did.
“I did something really stupid last year,” he began.
That was how most of Micah’s stories began. But she knew this time it was more serious. More serious than getting caught with his pants down with another guy in the change rooms, more serious than having to change schools, and more serious than running away from home. The enormity of just how bad this could be scared the shit out of her.
“It was just after Will’s accident. I was pretty fucked-up about it.”
“It affected everyone.”
“Yeah, but you know how I deal with things.”
“‘Not very well’ would be an understatement.” Emma gave a wry smile.
“It’s like you know me or something.”
“So what did you do?”
His hand was shaking in hers. “It’s hard to say… but basically I hooked up with a guy. Without a condom.”
Oh gods, was he going to tell her—
No, no, this could not be part of Micah’s narrative.
“I had to go on PEP and have AIDS tests up until six months from then. I finally cleared them last week.”
Relief swamped Emma, and the swift build up of tears threatened to spill. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I just couldn’t.”
“But you could tell Kyle?”
“Only about a month ago… and only because things threatened to… well, you know, happen.”
&nb
sp; “I should have been there for you.” Also, things had been going on with him and Kyle for a month? That question would have to wait for another time.
“Yeah, but I was embarrassed and ashamed.”
“You shouldn’t be ashamed.”
“But I was stupid. I knew better. I know better. But I just didn’t give a fuck.”
“Because of Will?”
“Partly. I just felt—well, I don’t really know what I felt. Sometimes I felt invincible, like nothing bad could happen to me. Other times I felt so numb I thought fucking other guys would make me feel something. But I had learnt my lesson as soon as we’d finished.”
“Do you still feel numb and invincible?” she asked.
He took a moment to think about it. “Sometimes. But I find other ways to deal with it now.”
“Like cheating on your boyfriend?” It slipped out; Emma didn’t think she ever intended to say anything so cruel.
Micah, however, took it in stride. “I love Kyle. I’ve always loved him”
“And what about Will?”
He looked at her with shock. “Will?”
“Come on, Micah,” Emma said. “You can’t pretend that there isn’t something between you two. I noticed it at the doco screening, remember?”
Micah shook his head. “No, you’re wrong. Will’s a friend.”
“But you’ve become very close.”
“So what? We’re close friends!”
“Fine,” Emma said, even though she wasn’t finished.
“I’m going to do the right thing,” Micah said. “Kyle and I are going to break up with Richard and Todd. Then everything will be fine.”
“Don’t jinx yourself.”
She let go of his hand to put her arm around his shoulder and hug him tight. They sat in silence, both taking in the enormity of the conversation that they’d had, even though it had avoided certain subjects and glossed over others. Sometimes you just had to deal with little pieces of crap rather than the whole turd.
“Oh, Micah,” Emma sighed. “You fucking idiot.”
There was a moment of silence, and she thought she had pushed it too far. But he burst out laughing, and once that happened she couldn’t stop herself either.
The door creaked open and Kyle peered through. “I guess it’s okay to come in now?”
LATER ON Emma sent Jess a text saying: I really hate to do this, especially as I’ve been wanting to see you for so long. But a friend is in trouble and needs me. Can we meet tomorrow?
A little bit later, her reply: Well, I can’t say I’m not disappointed. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to be at the studio tomorrow. Maybe if it doesn’t go too late?
Emma really didn’t want them to be on hold for however long, continually making plans and reneging on them until the moment passed them by and they just started ghosting each other.
But she sent: I’m happy for anything. Let me know.
She hoped she didn’t sound too desperate. Especially as the lonely howl of Puffing Billy was telling her to get a move on.
“I PROMISE you I’ll give you a break for a while and we’ll only deal with your problems,” Micah told her over breakfast the next morning.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Emma sipped at her coffee.
His flight was at twelve. She could already sense that he and Kyle were getting nervy and clingy, dreading their eventual separation. It might have been cute, had it not been for the whole cheating thing. Plus they were being very public with their PDAs, and Emma thought they were risking someone recognising Micah, taking some sneaky snaps, and uploading it on social media. It wasn’t that much of a stretch of the imagination, seeing that was how Declan and Simon had originally been outed to the greater public. Plus it would be the worst way for Kyle and Micah’s boyfriends to find out they were getting dumped.
“Anyway,” Kyle reminded him. “Her main problem at the moment has been solved. She’s found her girl.”
“Yeah, but now she’s got to keep her.”
“The girl has a name,” Emma said. “And so do I. Don’t be chauvinists.”
“You just said ‘the girl,’” Micah pointed out.
Shit, she had. “But I am one.”
“So that’s fine, then?”
“Hey, buddy, I didn’t make the rules.”
“Okay, what’s her name again?”
“Jess,” Kyle and Emma said in unison.
Micah shrugged. “She’ll always be Malcolm to me.”
“Please don’t call her that.”
“You did. For months!”
“Only because I didn’t know her real name!”
Kyle slapped Micah’s knee, which was lazily spread over his own. “Come on, kids.”
Emma smiled at Micah, and he grinned back. The weirdness that had been hanging off him for months had fallen away, and he was pretty much back to his old self, goddess help them all.
“What?” He seemed a little unnerved by Emma’s affectionate attention as she didn’t look away.
“You look better now you have your secrets off your back. I’m glad you told me.”
“You still don’t approve, though.” Micah was now looking at Kyle.
“Only of the boyfriend part. I’ll approve a little bit more when you’re single and then get back together with Kyle.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” she mimicked him.
“Okay,” Kyle said solemnly.
“Glad that’s sorted,” Emma said.
SHE BARELY made it home in time for practice. Seeing Micah off had been a little harder than usual now that she knew the amount of angst and trouble he had been going through. Emma just hoped he had finally turned the corner. Surely the fact that his family were now in Perth would help him.
Which also reminded her that she hadn’t spoken to her mother in a few days, and she had better get in contact or else Mrs. Goldsworthy would be filing a missing person’s report. But that would have to wait until the coach had flogged them at practice for a good couple of hours.
But there was no rest for the wicked—never. The girls came off the grounds exhausted. Emma felt like she needed to be propped up under the showerhead in order to get clean. All she wanted to do was sink to the tiled floor and have a good cry.
When she checked her phone, there weren’t any messages. Although she was hoping to hear from Jess, Emma was still a heady mixture of disappointed and relieved. Even though it was only seven thirty when she entered her room, she was ready to call it a night and seek the relief of a twelve-hour sleep.
No sooner had her head hit the pillow when a text message came through.
Jessica Harpy: I know it’s late, but are you still up for dinner? Coffee? Some minor criminal activity?
In spite of herself, Emma grinned, finding reserves of energy she didn’t know she had.
Sure. Where and when?
THE OLD Canberra Inn was a popular place to be, seeing as it was the oldest tavern in the city, but every tavern seems a little bit dead on a Sunday night. Emma was happy with that, however, as it meant she and Jess wouldn’t have to yell over an out-of-control jukebox or a million other drinkers. Jess was sitting in one of the booths, across from a girl Emma didn’t recognise. She stopped in her tracks for a moment, unsure what to do. But Jess saw her and waved her over.
“See, Leah?” she was saying as Emma reached them. “I told you Kate Kane was real.”
Leah gave Emma the usual accusatory up and down scan that only came with a close friendship checking out the new girlfriend on the scene. “She doesn’t look very superhero like.”
“It would be stupid to come on a date with a costume.” Emma was aware she was sounding too sprightly and not like herself at all.
“Don’t you mean your uniform?” Jess asked, and her smile threatened to set the room on fire with its energy.
“Tonight’s my night off,” Emma said. “Nightwing’s covering my shift.”
“Ugh,” Leah said. “This is too
cutesy for my liking.”
“You’ve done your duty. You can go,” Jess told her. “I don’t think she’s a serial killer.”
Emma was blinded by the flash of a mobile phone. Leah inspected the most-probably horribly lit photo of her and seemed satisfied. “Just in case I need to contact the cops.”
“She’s about to appear on the cover of Sports Illustrated,” Jess laughed. “She’ll be easy to find.”
Another look up and down and a new level of interest from Leah. “Sports Illustrated?”
Jess nodded.
“The swimsuit edition?”
Emma laughed, and Jess rolled her eyes.
“I doubt I’ll be on the cover,” I said. “Maybe the inside flap where they stick the people who aren’t worthy enough to be on the front.”
“Still, it’s pretty cool,” Leah mumbled. “Don’t kill her, okay?” She slid out of the booth and walked off.
“Never make a promise you can’t keep,” Emma said, more to Jess.
Leah swung full-body. “What?”
“Good night!” Jess waved her off.
Emma scooched into the booth across the table from her. “Did I make a good impression?”
Jess thought for a moment. “Maybe not so many serial killer jokes next time?”
“But they’re my best ones!”
Jess shook her head at Emma. “Do you want a drink?”
“I’ll get this round.”
Emma stumbled back out of the booth, but as she turned to ask Jess what she wanted she was right in her face and going in for a kiss. Emma accepted it eagerly, and Jess’s lips tasted as good as she dreamt of them being. Or maybe it was the mango ChapStick she was wearing. Emma chose to believe it was Jess’s lips’ natural state of existence. The beer on her breath wasn’t as good, but Emma wasn’t complaining as their tongues met, playfully experiencing their first waltz. It threatened to turn into a tango, until she pulled away.
Emma had to take a deep breath, as she hadn’t realised she had stopped somewhere along the line.
“I just thought we should get that awkwardness of the first kiss out of the way sooner rather than later,” Jess said.
