by Davis, Alexa
“Good.” I coughed accidentally, making myself sound very awkward. “Good thanks, how are you?”
As I felt Mom’s eyes upon me, I knew I was weird. I was going to have to damn well stop any minute now. I tried to busy myself by grabbing my belongings as if I was in a hurry to go, but the blush tinged my cheeks regardless.
This is hopeless. I’m going to have to speak to her alone.
“Why don’t you go and watch TV, Mom?” I asked her quietly. “I think I need to talk to Elle about this alone, just to try and work out how she’s feeling about all of this.”
“Okay.” Mom still didn’t look convinced. I knew she would be asking me hundreds of questions later on, but she did as I asked. “Sure, I’ll go in the living room.”
Elle peered around the corner, just to see my mother leaving. She nodded acceptingly to herself, knowing as well as I did that this was something that needed to be talked about. My muscles softened as I stared at her, she looked anxiously at me as if I was going to fire her or something.
What sort of man does she think I am?
“Hi, Elle, how are you? Are you okay?” I moved out from behind the breakfast bar to get closer to her. I wanted to be close so we could have this conversation discretely – I wouldn’t have put it past my mom to listen in. Unfortunately the nearer I got to her, the more her overwhelming, beautiful smell overwhelmed me. “Sorry things are weird... I don’t want it to be like this.”
“No, me neither.” Her expression relaxed. Once she knew that I wasn’t about to make things difficult for her, she calmed right down. “I just want to go back to normal.”
“Erm, yes.” Normal... Did that mean normal like last night? Normal, friendship wise, or normal employer/employee? Without more of an explanation, I didn’t know what to take that as. “Normal, of course.” I paused for a second to see if she was going to go further into that, but it seemed not. “Okay, well I just wanted to let you know that I have heard from Ryan...”
“The lawyer?” Her eyes bulged; this was just what she needed. I could understand that doing nothing was really hard. Especially when it came to something so important. “Really?”
“Yes, he’s been working on your case.”
“Already?”
“Yes,” I smiled. “Already. He wants to talk to you about what he’s going to do.”
“Has he said anything to you?” I shook my head. “Oh right, okay. That’s... I mean, wow, it’s great. But still, that’s scary. Things are really happening.”
“I know.” I reached out to rub her arm reassuringly. It was the sort of thing I would do without thinking about it usually, but now I wasn’t sure if it would be misconstrued. I dropped my hand quite rapidly as if I’d been burned. “But trust me, Ryan will get it sorted.”
“Yeah, okay, great.”
There was nothing for me to stay for anymore, I didn’t have anything to stay, but for some reason, I couldn’t get my legs moving. Elle was a magnet, drawing me in. She almost clung to me and wouldn’t let me go. There was a charge building between us, something brewing. If I weren't careful, I’d end up leaning in and kissing her...
“Everything okay in here?” Mom interrupted before I took that crazy step. I wasn’t surprised – there was no way she could resist. She wanted to see if her crazy little cupid plan had worked.
I couldn’t give her the satisfaction of letting her know that it had.
“Did Alex tell you about Ryan?” I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes as Elle spoke. As far as Mom was concerned, that was all I was talking to her about. “That’s good news, isn’t it?”
Elle moved away from me, leaving my body cold and alone. I wished that I could reach out and slip my fingers through hers to drag her back to me. I wanted to tell Mom to get lost so I could kiss Elle...
What is wrong with me? I cursed myself. W hat am I doing here?
“I better get going,” I blurted out. “I have to get to work.”
No one paid any attention to me. Mom and Elle were deep in conversation about Ryan and Delaney, so I could escape without too much attention coming my way. With my brain in turmoil, I needed some time to just be by myself.
I knew that I already liked Elle a lot, which had been building for ages, but now it was getting to a point where I thought it was much more than me. One night together and my heart was in her hands. She didn’t know it, but I could feel myself dangerously falling deeper and deeper...
***
“Ryan, will you just tell me what’s going on?” We’d been eating lunch for almost twenty minutes, and he hadn’t said anything. “What have you found out about the case?”
“Come on, man.” He shrugged his shoulders and turned away from me. “You know I can’t say anything about it.”
“But I’m paying you.”
“You aren’t really, though.”
I rolled my eyes and huffed. “I’m taking you to Mexico to say thanks. Doesn’t that give me some right to know?”
I wasn’t trying to be nosy. Although I did want to know exactly what was going on in Elle’s life, I was more concerned that she or Delaney was in danger. I wanted to protect her in any way possible. Even if her feelings for me weren’t anywhere near as strong as my feelings for her, I just wanted her to be safe.
“If Elle wants to tell you after tomorrow, that is up to her, but I cannot divulge anything.”
He had found something – and judging by his cagey nature, he had found something big. I felt jealous. I didn’t like there is a part of Elle’s life that I didn’t know anything about. Especially when my best friend knew. I almost wanted to tell him about what happened last night, just to show him that I was important to Elle, but I stopped myself at the last moment. I didn’t really know if I was important or not; maybe Elle just slept with me as a reaction to what was going on with her ex-husband.
I didn’t really think she was like that, she seemed to be very careful with herself, but I still couldn’t share it with Ryan. Not until I was sure.
“Why are you so interested anyway?” He eyed me curiously as if he could see into my mind. “Something going on with you two?”
“What are we, together?” I asked evasively. “Don’t be crazy. I just care about her like I would any of my staff members.”
“Yeah, sure, I can imagine you being so considerate of every Tom, Dick, and Harry that works for you.”
I didn’t dignify that with an answer. Instead, I tried to change to subject. “What’s going on with you? Tell me what’s happening in your life.”
“Hmm, well, I went on a date last night...”
As Ryan talked to me about his date from a lady he met on a dating app, I zoned out and thought about Elle. I didn’t want her to distract me from my work, but how was I supposed to think about anything else? I just couldn’t work out what it was with her, why I couldn’t work out how she felt. Did she like me? Was the chemistry real?
Maybe she was just trying to play it cool until she worked out how I felt. I thought I was quite open with my feelings, but the fact that she was my employee made me hold back. Maybe it was impossible to tell. Maybe it was me who was to blame.
Somehow, I needed to let her know that I really liked her. I didn’t want to miss out on a chance for something that could be real, just because I was afraid. I wasn’t sure that I was brave enough just to come right out and say it, but there had to be another way I could say it... Right?
Chapter Twenty-Four
Elle
Friday
I flickered my eyes open as the light streamed through the window, alerting me to morning. I didn’t want to wake up because I was bang smack in the middle of the most incredible dream ever. I was back in bed with Alex, and we had hours and hours to explore one another’s bodies...
But as soon as I woke up properly I bolted upright, forgetting all about his dream hands all over me. Reality hit, and it hit hard.
Oh, my God, I have to meet Ryan today!
I wasn’t sure how I
felt about that. I loved taking action against Mark, but going to see this lawyer meant that things were going to get really real. This could end up in court; this could be all taken from me, I could have no power. I didn’t want that. I’d just clawed some control back in my life; I couldn’t give it back to Mark. I couldn’t let him have just what he wanted.
I just hoped that Ryan was as good as Alex told me he was...
Urgh, Alex. I didn’t know what to think about that subject. It was so weird. We both promised each other that it wouldn’t be, but there was no stopping it. How could it not be? One minute I worked for him, then we were friends (sort of), then we were sleeping together. Maybe I should have remained afterward and demanded that we define what was going on between us, but I couldn’t stand to then. I wanted him to think that I was cool.
The only problem was it didn’t matter how much distance I gave Alex and me my feelings didn’t change. I definitely liked him a whole lot. I could definitely see myself falling for him if I gave myself a chance.
“Mommy!” Delaney’s voice burst into my bedroom, dragging me away from everything Alex. “I’m awake. I’m hungry.”
I chuckled and grabbed my robe to wrap around my body. “Okay, I’m just coming. Why don’t you go and get dressed? Mommy has a meeting today, and you have to come with me.”
When I’d mentioned to Terran that I had the day off, she suggested that she might go out with Chris. Since she’d already done so much for me, I couldn’t disagree. Alex was driving me to Ryan’s office since I had no idea where it was. He promised to stay, so if Delaney really couldn’t be in the room with me, then maybe she could stay with him. It was just a shame that the school was closed today for teacher training. I didn’t really want to have my daughter anywhere near the lawyer’s office, I didn’t want to make her suspicious, but I didn’t have any other choice.
“What shall I wear, Mommy? One of my dresses?”
“You wear whatever you want, darling.” I walked through into the kitchen and grabbed the cereal to pour it into two bowls. “Just make sure you’re comfortable.”
What is going to happen today? I thought idly as I made drinks to go with the food. What is this lawyer going to say to me?
When I got divorced, it was a bit of a haze. I didn’t want anything from Mark, so there wasn’t much to debate. All I wanted to do was get the hell away from him. I couldn’t remember having much contact with legal people at all. That made this a lot scarier.
“How is this?” Delaney asked as she twirled and allowed her purple dress to splay out. “Do I look nice?”
“Lovely, darling.” I smiled warmly, fighting the tears back. “You look beautiful.”
I will not lose her. The lawyer needs to know that. I will do whatever the hell it takes to keep my baby girl.
“Eat your breakfast then so that we can get going. My boss will be here soon to pick us up.”
“Is that Alex? I like Alex!” Delaney asked while crunching her food. “He’s nice.”
“I like him, too,” I replied without expressly saying just how much. “He’s been very kind to us.”
My heart fluttered – even saying the words I like him was too damn much. I wanted to stand on the rooftop and scream it out, so the whole world knew, but I couldn’t. I needed to keep it inside. Whatever Alex and I became, I needed to keep my head screwed on. I couldn’t ever allow myself to lose control in a relationship again.
“Okay. I’m going to get dressed,” I told Delaney after only a few bites of my food. I couldn’t muster up an appetite however hard I tried. “I’ll be back in a moment.”
***
I hope no one can tell how cheap this pantsuit is ; I thought in a panic as I caught a glimpse of myself in Alex’s car window. I know they will. Lawyers all have money, but this is all I can afford.
I didn’t have long to plan what I was going to wear, and this was pretty much all I had. I didn’t find myself in many situations where I needed to look sharp, so I hoped that this was okay.
“Woah, this building is huge,” I exclaimed quietly to Alex. “This is where Ryan works?”
“I told you.” He gave me a wink. “He wouldn’t work in a place like this if he wasn’t deadly serious.”
All of a sudden, I became even more convinced that bringing Delaney wasn’t the best idea I’d ever had. “Do you think it’ll be okay if my daughter is with me? She has her books; she can be very quiet...”
“Oh, it’s okay. I’ll take her into an empty boardroom with a TV in it. Ryan won’t mind. There won’t be too many meetings on a Friday. I know they prefer them early on in the week. We’ll work it out, won’t we, Delaney?”
“Yeah, we will. Don’t worry, Mommy.”
I nodded and sucked in a deep breath of air. I needed to calm down my gasping; I wanted to slow my racing pulse... I hoped that Ryan could see me as the person I really was. I didn’t think going into his office acting like a nervous wreck would be the best way for me to show him I was a good parent. He saw stressed people all the time – I didn’t want to be just another one of them.
“Okay,” I whispered. “Let’s go in.”
To say that this law firm was major was an understatement. It was the fanciest building I’d ever been in, with brilliant whites, sleek golds, and marble flooring. These lawyers cost more money for one consultation than I would ever see in my entire life. And Alex had paid for it for me. It was too much.
As the elevator took us up to Ryan’s floor, I glanced at Alex out the corner of my eye just to catch him staring at me. My face inadvertently burst into the brightest smile I could manage at such a stressful time. He made me feel safe in a way that I didn’t know was possible. I couldn’t stop myself from liking him...however hard I tried.
I parted my lips, wanting to comment that I felt bad for him doing all of this for me, but the words somehow didn’t come out of my mouth. I couldn’t quite seem to find them. I did feel bad, it was all too much, but it was the best chance I had at keeping my daughter with me where she belonged.
“You will be fine,” he commented, giving me a last-minute boost of confidence just as the elevator doors opened. “Ryan will take good care of you. You are in very good hands. I will take care of Delaney and see you afterward.”
The stress ball in my stomach didn’t vanish, but I smiled and nodded. Maybe afterward, once I knew more about what this guy was like and what he could do for me, I could speak.
***
I stepped out of Ryan’s office, standing much taller now that the weight had lifted off my shoulders. Alex’s friend had an amazing way with words, but there was a real substance behind it, too. He had done a lot of research behind the scenes before he even met me, he had Mark’s number nailed. Alex was right: I was truly in good hands with Ryan.
You have no idea what’s coming your way, Mark, I thought with a smug smile playing on my lips. This time, I’m playing you at your own game – and you aren’t going to like it.
Right now, Ryan didn’t have too much to go on. He knew what Mark was like, but he didn’t have anything that would suffice as evidence in court, but I held faith. It helped that Mark hadn’t seen Delaney ever since we broke up, but he could spin that to blame me. Still, if there were a way to make this work, Ryan would find it.
“Mr. Trainor is in conference room B, he said to tell you when you came out,” a beautiful receptionist commented to me.
She was stunning, with perfect blonde hair, a heart-shaped face, and lovely red lips. She looked like a mannequin; she was so stunning. It didn’t matter how hard I tried, how long I spent getting ready, I could never look so good. Jealousy twisted in my gut that Alex had even spoken to her.
“Right,” I gulped. “Thank you.”
The skip returned to my step as I walked down the hallway to find the right conference room. Being jealous wasn’t as important as what had just happened. Ryan had told me that Delaney would remain in my care, no matter what. That was truly all I cared about.
> Soon, I found Alex and Delaney playing a board game across the table. I giggled to myself thinking that the table only ever got to see boring stuff – endless complex paperwork, long, involved meetings, that sort of thing.
“Hey, guys,” I said maybe a bit too loudly. “I’m done now when you’re ready to go.”
Alex’s eyes snapped towards me; his eyes widened as he tried to suss my mood. “How did it go in there? What did Ryan say?”
“It’s all good,” I grinned. “In motion and all that.”
As he rose from his chair, emotion overwhelmed me. I walked over to him and pulled him towards me. “Thank you for everything you’ve done,” I whispered quietly to him. “I really appreciate it.”
I leaned in, trying to kiss him gratefully on the cheek, but his head twisted meaning my lips connected with the corner of his mouth instead. A shocking bolt of lightening raced right down to my core at the unexpected connection.
Damn it; I really do like him.
As we shared a moment of eye contact, I felt like I could see something similar going on in his eyes. I wanted to ask him exactly what he felt, but it wasn’t the right time or place to have that conversation.
“Shall we go out to lunch, girls?” Alex asked Delaney and me with a grin. “We have a lot to celebrate, don’t we?”
“Don’t you have work?” I didn’t want to pull him away from his day more than I already had. But he shook his head and grinned.
“No, I don’t have to do anything. I’m the boss, remember? I want to take you out. What do you say, Delaney?”
“Yes, please.”
She gave me such a pleading stare that I had to agree. It wasn’t exactly like I didn’t want to go – anytime with Alex was a bonus in my mind. Especially today. After all, we did have lots to celebrate.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Alexander
Saturday
