by Davis, Alexa
“Look, I might as well tell you the truth,” Kerri sighed deeply, holding her head in her hands for a moment. “Willy is Grant’s father. We’ve been hooking up for years, every damn time I get drunk. I can’t seem to resist him.”
What? I certainly wasn't expecting that!
“So why didn’t you just tell me that?” I asked her curiously.
“I find it embarrassing that I like him so much. It’s something that I don't want to admit.”
Personally, I couldn't see anything wrong with Willy; he seemed like a nice guy to me, one with a full-time job and a sweet smile, but clearly this was an issue for Kerri.
“Does he know?”
“He does,” she confirmed, nodding slowly. “I told him right away and he proposed.” She laughed lightly to herself at the memory, which caused my heart to ache. I’d missed so much while I was away, and now that my New York life felt like nothing more than a dream I’d once had, it all seemed like a waste.
“He was disappointed when I turned him down, but he’s still there for Grant. He pays for him and comes to see him whenever I let him... Urgh, it’s all just a mess!” she exclaimed angrily. “I don't know how I’ve managed to get myself tangled up in such a weird web.”
My advice would have been to give Willy a real shot, to push her preconceived notions to one side and just give him a try, but then again, I wasn't a parent. Maybe that would have been dangerous, risking the tightrope of an agreement that they currently had, so instead of saying anything, I simply pulled her in for a hug.
“Oh God,” she eventually sobbed out. “I need a distraction; please, tell me about your date.”
I smiled secretly to myself, glad that my horrible date could now come in handy for something. It might have been awful, but if it cheered Kerri up, then I would put myself through it again.
“Well, you remember Harry, from high school?”
“Oh no, you didn’t!” Kerri exclaimed in shock. “He’s horrible these days. What the hell were you thinking?”
Chapter Twenty-One
Matthew
Wednesday Night
My head was starting to spin like crazy, but I chugged back another beer regardless. I wanted that nauseating, dizzy feeling to consume me; I needed that. Forgetting about my wholly shitty day was the only thing that I wanted.
“Dude, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Willy asked me with concern and bewilderment in his expression. I could understand that; I had just stormed onto his boat at the end of his working day and demanded a beer. He could probably see I was wound up and incredibly angry, but he didn’t even ask. He waited until I calmed down enough to even begin speaking.
It was just unfortunate that the time had only come around when I was on the way to being quite drunk.
“Oh God,” I groaned, dropping my head into my hands. “It’s just such a fucking mess.” I didn’t want to get into it; it was the last damn thing on the planet that I wanted, but I knew I was going to have to get into it eventually, so I guessed that it might as well get it over and done with. “Terri just flipped out and went crazy. I don't quite know what happened, but she just...flipped.”
“Oh, wow,” Willy replied, clearly resisting the urge to say I told you so. “That’s nuts, man.”
“Yeah, she started off by telling Ashlee about our hook ups. I mean, I don't know exactly what she said, but it can’t have been good.” My heart sunk as I remembered Ashlee’s hurt face repeatedly. “I hadn’t told her that I’ve been pretty...busy during the years she left, and that really wasn't the way that I wanted her to find out.”
“So, how did she react?” he asked cautiously. When I didn’t answer right away, Willy handed me yet another beer that I glugged back gratefully. I just needed that second, that time out from this conversation before I said my next piece.
“She freaked the fuck out,” I told him honestly. “I think it made her see me differently, but that wasn't the worst part. Terri told her that I was Grant’s father. I mean, how fucking weird is that? I haven’t even had sex with Kerri, so why the hell would anyone think the kid is mine?”
“Well, I mean, no one knows, do they?” Willy said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. I started to notice he was very sober, which meant everything he was feeling was real, not affected by booze, at all. There was something going on with him, and I needed to know what.
“Do you know?” I suddenly gasped in surprise. Willy and Kerri had hooked up the other night; maybe she’d told him something. If I could find out the truth about what was going on with Kerri, I could tell Ashlee and put an end to this once and for all.
But Willy didn’t answer me; he simply looked down at his nails as if there was something he was hiding. What the hell could it be? I’d known Willy my whole damn life, and as far as I was aware, he’d never kept anything from me before. My foggy brain tried to pick up on something that was clearly under my nose, but I was too damn drunk to get what it was.
“You do know,” I insisted. “Who is it? I thought it was some big, massive secret. I thought no one knew.” Still, he wouldn’t look at me. “You need to tell me; I have to know. It might make things easier with me and Ashlee. She might forgive me.”
“Not everything is about you and Ashlee,” he snapped, making jump. His tone was harsh, which meant that he was clearly covering something up. “Some things just don't need to be talked about, so can we just leave it?”
Woah.
In that moment, it hit me like a punch in the face. It was so obvious I couldn't believe that it had taken me so long to figure it out. There was that crazy connection between them, the sizzling chemistry that wouldn’t quit. Plus, the fact that a few years back, probably at the time when Kerri had found out that she was having a baby, Willy had gone off the grid for a while, seemingly sinking into a depression.
Willy was Grant’s father.
I wanted to ask him what had happened there, why he hadn’t ever told me, and why he didn’t seem to be there for his son, but that seemed inappropriate. There were clearly a whole bunch of reasons for all of that; I knew my friend well enough to know that wouldn’t be for nothing, and I figured he would eventually share that with me when he felt ready.
It was time for me to change the subject before I ended up saying something I would go on to regret.
“So anyway, when I confronted Terri about it, she went crazy and actually hit me.”
“She hit you?” Willy huffed out in shock. “Seriously?”
“Yep, so I had to fire her, which of course makes me feel like a shitty person.” Replaying that conversation in my mind again made me feel horrible. I knew that Terri was mostly a cool chick and that it was my fault she’d become unhinged, but there was nothing that I could do about it now. I would just have to learn my lesson and never act that way again.
I knew now that being straightforward didn’t necessarily equate to understanding. Feelings could still creep in regardless. “And then I went to Ashlee’s to speak to her about it, just to find out that she’s going on a date with someone else.”
Fuck , that still hurt; it made me feel like shit. I didn’t want her going out with anyone else, ever, but what damn choice did I have in it?
“Well, dude, I have to tell you that Ashlee is a hot chick, and guys are going to want her.” I knew Willy was trying to kick my ass into gear with that comment; he didn’t want me to miss out on the first woman I’d ever shown any interest in, but it still cut me deep. “You’re going to have to make some smart decisions here, for real.”
I decided I had to unleash my biggest secret, to make Willy understand where my head was at. He couldn't get why I was being so guarded, so I needed to make him see. Terri knew now; it wouldn’t be long until the rest of the world did. I wanted my best friend to hear it from me first.
“You know that winning lottery ticket?” I sighed out, feeling that despair floating through me once more. Every time I thought about that money, it sent me into the same tailspin. �
��Well, I have it. I’m the winner.”
“You are?” Willy grabbed hold of my arm, staring at me in shock. “Are you fucking serious? That’s like, a billion dollars, man. That could change your whole damn life.”
“I know,” I nodded vigorously, wanting him to understand that I did get that part, and that I really appreciated it. “I know that, but I’m also worried about what will happen if I claim it. I’ll have publicity, and all the people that I’ve ever hooked up with will come forward, making up shit about me. After what happened with Terri today, I’m just freaked out. I’m the town doctor, and if people hear that shit about me, they might not trust me anymore.”
“I get that,” Willy said in a calm tone. “But you’ll be able to do so much good with that money. I think people will understand that you’ve made some mistakes in your past, but you’re trying to be better.”
I nodded morosely, hearing what he was saying, but not really allowing it to sink in.
“Is this really about the world, or is it just about what Ashlee will think about you?” This was far too close to home, so I sent him a half shrug, not wanting to admit that aloud. “Dude, she knows more now. It’s out there anyway; why allow that to hold you back?”
“Look, I want the money, I do. I want to be able to use it to pay off my debts, and to help Ashlee and Peggy, I want to do all of that... But I’m afraid. I’m scared I’ll unleash all kinds of shit that I’m really not ready for.”
A sickness filled my stomach as I tried to picture that unknown in my future once more. I couldn't seem to just focus on the positives, however hard I tried. I couldn't just see the ability to help other people, without freaking the fuck out about other people.
“Urgh, just give me another beer,” I sighed at Willy. “I just need to forget about all of this bullshit.”
“I honestly think you’ve had enough,” he told me in that deliberately calm tone of voice. “I don't want you to be sick, and you’re already looking a little green.” I nodded along with his suggestion, realizing that he was probably right – especially as I had to go to work tomorrow, however much I didn’t want to.
“And as for your other problem,” he continued, “of course you should do exactly what you want, but it’s important to remember that sometimes in life you do things to sacrifice yourself for the ones you love, even if it makes you look like a bad person.”
He was right, of course he was. I needed to come forward to get the money, however terrifying it was. I would just have to suffer a few weeks of bullshit to be able to help other people that really needed it.
It was going to suck to walk around with a target on my back, but I would have to do it regardless. Hopefully, it wouldn’t damage my practice too much in the process because I couldn't give that up, however rich I became. That was my way of helping people, and I couldn't sacrifice that for anything.
“You’re right,” I whispered, fear gripping tightly to my stomach. “I know you are; it’ll just be really hard.”
“I’ll be there for you, buddy,” Willy replied, patting me on my shoulder. “Well...maybe for a million.”
I knew he was joking, and I did laugh at that, but that was another side effect I wasn't ready to deal with: the sudden begging for money, the people crawling out the woodwork, the constant going on at me.
Urgh, why couldn't I just do this in private? Why did I have to have the damn photo shoot and interview? Why couldn't I just have the money and no one ever know?
I guess the good things in life never came easily, and this was just going to be another one of those things.
“Of course,” I grinned at Willy. “Anything for you, buddy.”
In that moment, I decided I would do something for my friend. I was going to buy him a new fishing boat, one that he would own outright. He loved fishing – it was something that he’d wanted to do for forever, and I wanted to help him along with that dream.
Maybe I would even give something to Grant, too. Sure, he wasn't my kid, but he did belong to my best friend, and if that made things easier for him, then I would happily do it. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more he and Kerri seemed made for one another. I wasn't sure what was keeping them apart, but I hoped that they would be able to figure it out eventually.
All I wanted was for everyone around me to be happy, even at the sacrifice of my own sanity. I would do it , I decided determinedly. I would do it and it would be okay in the end. It had to be.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ashlee
Thursday
Knock, knock.
Knock, knock.
I staggered across the hallway, still feeling pretty much half asleep, wondering who the hell would be knocking on the door so early in the morning. I hadn’t had much sleep, what with my mind still reeling over the emotional rollercoaster that I’d gone through the day before, so I really wasn't in the right frame of mind to be speaking to anyone.
Especially not Matthew. I really hoped that it wasn't him coming around to speak to me.
I still couldn’t figure out his motivation for keeping the truth from me; it didn’t make any damn sense. Why didn’t he fight against the rumors? Why didn’t he defend himself? I guessed I would have to talk to him at some point, to find out for myself.
“Erm, hi?” I swung the door open to find a stranger standing there, someone with building equipment in his hands. “Can I...help you?”
“My name is Wes. I’m the roofing contractor. I’ve come to fix the issues that you’ve been having with your roof.” He smiled at me, as if it should have been obvious what he was doing, which sent confusion flooding right through me. Was this something that I should have been aware of?
“I... I don't think you have the right house,” I told him sadly, wishing he was there for us. The roof was becoming a big problem, and I knew that as soon as winter brought along the bad weather with it, it wouldn’t last very long at all. I didn’t want my mom to have to survive an icy winter, not when she was already struggling so badly. “We didn’t call a contractor.”
“This is 124 First Avenue, right?” he stunned me by asking, showing me the order form that did, in fact, confirm that he was supposed to be there. For a split second, I wondered if this was something Mom had done behind my back, but I instantly shook that thought from my mind. There was no way she would have the money to pay for something as extensive as this.
“I’m sorry,” I shook my head regretfully at him. “This isn’t something that we can afford.”
“Oh, you don't need to worry about that,” he grinned smugly. “The job has already been paid for.”
“By...by whom?” I was stunned by this, completely blown away. Who the hell would randomly pay for such an expensive thing? And why? What could someone be getting from it?
“An anonymous client – that’s all I’m permitted to say, I’m afraid.” He shrugged his shoulders at me, being totally blasé about what he was saying. “So, can I come in? I might as well do the job now that it’s been paid for?”
“Yeah, I guess so.” I stepped to one side, watching him in total confusion. This was all a little too much to handle. “Thank you.”
I wandered into the kitchen where I knew Mom was sitting sipping a cup of hot water and lemon. She was doing slightly better today; she wasn't hanging her head over the toilet all day, at any rate, which I’d decided to take as a good sign. I saw it as a glimmer of hope, a sign that she was going to beat this, despite the evidence that she might not.
“Mom, did you order a contractor?” I asked her, sliding in the seat next to her. “Some guy has just turned up saying that the job was already paid for, and he’s getting to work already. I didn’t know what to say.” A thought suddenly hit me. “Shit, you don't think that he’s a con-artist, do you?”
Mom glanced up from her tablet, where it looked like she was reading the newspaper, sending me a serene smile. She shook her head, indicating that no, she didn’t order the contractor, but that everything would be okay.
I wanted to ask her more, to find out what she seemed to know, but she immediately returned to reading, blocking me out.
“Right, okay,” I stood back up, before grabbing myself a drink. “I better get ready for work.” God, work... How the hell was I going to deal with work right about now? I was going to have to apologize for my behavior, and it was going to be very embarrassing. I was also going to have to face Terri again, which I wasn’t looking forward to. “I’ll have my phone on me all day, so if you don't feel well or...or you need help with the roof contractor, just give me a call, all right?”
“Sure, see you later, sweetie.”
I wandered up the stairs, hearing the contractor already setting about his business, and I tried desperately to work out who the hell had that kind of money to afford something like that for someone else. I didn’t know anyone who was rich enough to do that for themselves, never mind us. And why wouldn’t they just leave their name? What was with all the secrecy?
Those thoughts plagued me all the way to work, so much so that I headed to the local newsstand along the way. I just couldn't help but wonder if the clue was in the local newspaper, since that was what Mom was reading when I went into the kitchen to talk to her. It was a long shot, but since I didn’t have anything else to go off of, it seemed like a good choice.
I didn’t even glance at the front page as I picked it up, I simply grabbed it and paid the cashier behind the desk. He shot me a large grin as I handed over the money, and opened his mouth as if he was about to say something, but I quickly averted my eyes, making it obvious that I wasn't in the mood to talk. I didn’t like being such a bitch; I just wasn't in a talkative frame of mind.
It wasn't until I stepped outside that I looked at the newspaper, and as soon as I saw the words plastered across it, my heart stopped dead in my chest. My blood ran cold, and my face heated up as a strange sense of shock started to gnaw away at me.
“What the fuck?” I muttered. “Local Doctor Wins Lottery?!” Of course, I’d heard about the lottery win, and I’d noticed the rumors that it was someone in Florence who’d won it, but since no one immediately came forward, it seemed like it was all just a myth to me.
