by Bo Reid
“And what’s that?” I spit back crossing my arms over my chest. But he reaches out and roughly cups my center, pushing me into the pool table.
“Everything,” he grits out. I push him away, but Jesse grabs one of my arms and Michael grabs the other. I fight back as hard as I can, but it's no use. They turn me around and slam me face first into the pool table.
“This pussy is mine Hartley, this ass is mine, this pretty mouth?” he asks as he leans into me, grabbing my jaw, “It’s mine too.”
“Get off of me!” I yell, but when I hear the first firework of the night go off in the sky, I know it's too late. No one will hear me, no one is going to save me, and I don’t know how to save myself.
I study Kasen’s face. I hadn’t intended on telling him anything at all, but the disgusted tone he had in his voice thinking I had willingly slept with Lucas pissed me off. I don’t want him thinking that was the type of man-child I was interested in.
While Kasen may have spent the last three years in prison, I knew in my heart and soul he would never hurt Brooks or me. The same declaration could never be made for Lucas.
I watched Kasen’s face morph from poorly masked disgust to pure rage. I can feel his blood boiling under the surface of his skin; see the violence in the way his jaw clamps tightly shut, and feel it in the hand he reaches out to squeeze my own that is wrapped around his arm. There is a fire blazing in his gaze, but his anger isn’t directed at me.
I can see it in the way he turns to scan the crowd around us. I know he is looking for Lucas. And I also know I have to get him out of here. He deserves to hear my story. It’s past time I tell him everything. Maybe Sol was right after all, maybe I should’ve told him everything months ago.
Just like he had told me his story.
That might be the worst part of this whole situation, Kasen has told me everything about his life, down to the smallest detail, and every step along the way I have fought against giving him the same courtesy. I have been selfish, not wanting to lose him, but knowing I would if he knew the truth so I kept everything from him.
He deserves so much better than how I have treated him, and the truth is the least I can give him.
“Come on, let’s go for a walk,” I tell him gently, not asking before taking his hand and leading him to the large French doors.
The doors open onto the back deck. I nod and give a small wave to a few people but keep walking down the stairs, not willing to stop for idle chit chat. The only person I want to talk to, the only person I want to be around, is Kasen.
When we hit the grass I reach down to undo my heels, but Kasen stops me. Dropping down to his knee he takes my hands, placing them on his shoulders for balance. He reaches down undoing my heels and sliding them off my feet. When he stands, he has my heels in one hand and when I reached for them, he holds them back silently telling me he would carry them. I grab his free hand lacing our fingers together.
I can feel eyes on us, the stuck up people that wouldn’t dare walk barefoot along fresh green grass. They watch us, their eyes trailing over Kasen, then over to me as I smile at him.
Without my heels, I’m nearly a foot shorter than him, but even with them he still towered over me. But he never scares me. He never makes me fear what he would do.
I don’t worry about being alone with him. I know he would never hurt me.
We walk away from the mansion hand in hand. Away from everything I have always hated about the world I was born into.
He never pushes me to speak. That’s just one of the things I adore about him, there is never pressure with him.
“Lucas and I grew up together, in this world,” I say waving my hand around to motion at the extravagant mansion behind us.
“Parents here tend to push their children towards potential partners from a young age. It’s never about what the kids want, it’s about what relationship or arrangement could be mutually beneficial to both families. It’s like a glorified arranged marriage but without them legally being able to enforce it. Most kids we grew up with never had any issues with the pairings. Most of them remain married for their whole lives, and sleep with who they actually want to be with on the side. They’re too concerned about losing their trust funds to disobey their parents for love.”
“But our father never cared much for that. He always wanted Sol and I to be happy, no matter who we were with. He would like you,” I say and look over at Kasen, his face is stoic but I see the doubt in his eyes.
“He would. I’m sad you were never able to meet him. You’re a good man Kasen. I knew it from the moment we met, I knew you were good. Just like from the moment I met Lucas I knew he wasn’t. Even as a child I never felt comfortable around Lucas, basically he gave me bad vibes.” I sigh, turning to direct our path down to the river I know runs at the edge of this property.
“As we got older, into our teens, Lucas became relentless in his pursuit of me. No matter how many times I showed or expressed disinterest in him or outright told him no, it’s like it only made him work harder. But not to impress me, or prove he really wanted me. I was more like the shiny toy at the store his parents wouldn’t buy for him. Not being able to have me only made him want me more. On principle. He threatened every guy we went to school with, telling them I belonged to him,” I say disgusted.
I’m not an object to be owned, especially not by him.
“A little over a year ago, I attended the Fourth of July BBQ celebration at the country club. By the way, I fucking hate the country club. Always have, but we have gone to the BBQ every year for as long as I can remember. And it’s one thing our father enjoyed, so Sol and I make it a point to always attend, as a way to honor him. It started off like every other year. Before the fireworks started, I left the seating area to go to the bathroom. Only I never made it back for the fireworks.”
We make it to the edge of the water and I go to sit on the bank, not caring about my dress. Kasen sits, and motions for me to take a seat in his lap instead of the ground. I do.
He wraps his arms around me and gently rests his head on my shoulder, pulling me back slightly so I’m pushed up against his broad chest. We’ve never sat like this and I like it. I want to be this close to him always, feeling warm in his embrace and protected. Like as long as I’m in his arms he would never let anything bad happen to me. Or to Brooks. We’d always be safe with him.
“Before I could make my way back to the patio area I was grabbed and pulled into one of the small conference rooms. Lucas was there, and two of his friends. He told me that I was a bitch for denying him what was his for so long and that I no longer had a choice.” Kasen’s grip tightened around me slightly.
I swallow the lump in my throat.
“His friends each held one of my arms, they pushed me down face first onto the table. Lucas came behind me. I tried to kick him, then cross my feet to prevent him from getting my pants down, but in the end, it didn’t work.” I sigh and shrug my shoulders, feeling the defeat all over again.
“His friends helped him rip my pants and underwear down, and he raped me. In the conference room, of the country club. While his friends held me down and laughed. High fiving each other that Lucas finally claimed me. While hundreds of people I’ve known most of my life enjoyed fireworks just a few yards away. Most of those people are here tonight.” I sigh and lean back into his embrace.
“After they left me there, I put myself back together and left to find Sol. I told him I was ready to go home, that I had a headache. So, he took me home. I immediately got into my car and drove to the hospital a town over and had them do a rape kit. I didn’t report anything, but I wanted the evidence documented. I recorded my own statement and saved it.”
“Why didn’t you call the police?” he asked, there isn’t judgment over my choice, he just wants to know.
“I’m not sure how it is where you’re from but here? Rich white boys are kings, and girls that cry rape are whores who were asking for it. It’s basically the forties still. White
male privilege is a thing, and it’s alive and well here.” I shrug, “I wasn’t sure I wanted to go through the Hell of what a rape trial would entail.”
I feel Kasen’s arms tighten around me, pulling me closer to him. Either trying to comfort me or himself.
“When I found out a few weeks later that I was pregnant, I decided I wanted the baby. I hadn’t taken the plan B they gave me in the hospital. I knew that even if I carried the child of a rapist, I would still want the baby, that the baby was innocent. And that if I did have a baby that would be my silver lining, not the storm cloud. So, I waited a few more weeks, long enough that an abortion would no longer be an option. I went to Lucas, but not just him, I arranged a sit down with his parents. I brought a copy of my rape kit, my recorded statement, and the pregnancy test results. Including the DNA testing that showed the same person that raped me was the father of the child.”
“I gave them two options, option one; Lucas signs over all parental rights to me as soon as the child was born, and he would never have any contact with the baby. Or two; I turn over all evidence to the police and drag them through a very long, very messy, very public trial. At that point, I didn’t care what people would say. I didn’t care whose side they would take. I’d do anything to protect my baby from that monster. Thankfully none of them wanted to deal with a baby or a trial. We agreed and I went about my life.”
“What do you tell people about Brooks? Does Sol know the truth now?” he asks.
“Sol knows everything. I told him about the rape before I knew I was pregnant. I couldn’t keep it from him. People talked a lot during my pregnancy. I had no boyfriend at the time, so they speculated. I’ve never named Lucas as his father, he’s not even on the birth certificate, I just left it blank. When I got sick of the rumor mill going on, I spread the rumor that I got pregnant on my summer trip. It seemed easier than dealing with the truth, and once people were all sharing the same story, I became old news quicker.” I shrug.
“Sol still wants to pound in Lucas’ face, but I told him if he started anything it would just ramp up the rumors. So, he controls his temper for me. And I will ask that you do the same,” I say.
“I’m not sure if I can do that Hart, that fucker,” he growls, “he deserves to be in prison. He needs to have someone make him into their bitch. But instead, he walks around here free as a fucking bird, and gets to torment you whenever he sees you? It’s not okay, Hart, not at all!”
I turn in his lap so we’re face to face and wrap my arms around his neck as his hands settle on my hips and look into his eyes. I hold his fierce gaze for a minute.
“Kasen, you would never hurt me, right?” I whisper, and he jerks back like my words were a literal slap to his face. His gaze burns me from the inside out.
“Fuck no, never.”
“And you would never hurt Brooks, right?” He narrows his eyes at me.
“I would give my life to protect his, I’d never hurt him,” he says squeezing my hips slightly to emphasize his point.
“Going after Lucas now would hurt us both, so I’m asking you to please just let it go. In the end, he would win, and I would lose you. And that would hurt me more than he ever has or ever can. He’s already done his worst and tried to break me. He failed then. I’m not broken but losing you would break me,” I whisper and rest my forehead against his. His eyes flutter shut and he takes a deep breath, slowly exhaling.
“Okay, for you there’s nothing I wouldn’t do”
I smile, “I know.”
He reaches up and gently tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, keeping his palm pressed softly against my cheek. I lean into his hand, needing to feel him close to me. I want him, I want him to be mine. But he’s too good for me, he deserves more than me. But still I can’t help myself, not here, not tonight.
By this river, sitting in his lap while he holds me close to him comforting me… not after sharing so much with me, of me.
“Kasen?” I whisper his name, and he holds my gaze.
“Yes, My Hart?” he asks, and I feel the fire licking against my skin, melting away the ice Lucas caused.
My Hart.
My Heart.
Oh, how I want nothing more than to be truly his. To be one hundred percent his. His Hart, only his for the rest of time.
“Can I kiss you?”
I ask because I never want to take his choices away from him like mine were once ripped away from me. His hands tighten on my hips, and his gaze burns with a different fire than that in the Gala’s main hall.
“Yes,” he whispers.
I lean forward softly brushing my lips against his, not quite a kiss. I wait for a heartbeat, giving him a chance to change his mind. When he doesn’t, I press my mouth to his and feel a wildfire spread across my skin.
He kisses me back and for a moment we just sit there, me in his lap, lips pressed together with the sound of the slow-moving river at my back. I slowly move my mouth against his, and when I swipe my tongue against his lips silently asking for permission, he opens his mouth and I sweep my tongue inside. He picks me up slightly, and I move so I’m straddling his thighs.
I run my nails across his scalp, softly tugging the ends of his hair. He groans into our kiss, digging his fingers into my hips.
When we break apart, I rest my forehead against his, and sigh contently. We’re both panting softly, and I can feel how much he wants me, his erection is straining against his dress slacks, pushing into my thigh
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” I say, looking into his eyes.
He pulls back from me slightly, reaching up to brush my hair back again, running his other hand gently up my bare spine.
“Why did you want to kiss me?” he swallows, trying to find more words. “Was it because of what you shared? Cause you’re vulnerable right now or was it…”
“Because I actually want you?” I ask finishing his thought.
He nods and looks down at where I sit in his lap. He’s worried about my answer. I bring my hands around to cradle his face, gently asking him to look at me. When he does, I see fear and doubt in his eyes, and it breaks me.
“I want you. I want you in my life, as my friend.” Hurt flashes across his face, but I’m not done, “I want a life with you in it always and I want you in my bed so much more. I’ve wanted that for a while, but you’re too good for me. I don’t deserve someone whose soul is as pure as yours.”
He looks at me with a fierce determination.
“It’s me who doesn’t deserve you, I’m not worthy of a heart like yours,” he says, and I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him close to me.
“You want me?” I ask.
“Since the first day I met you I wanted you, and I wanted Brooks,” he confesses quietly.
“Take me home Kasen.”
Chapter 25: Coral Rose
Kasen
“Take me home Kasen,” she whispers against my lips, and I strain to find my self-control.
Sliding my hands down from her hips I rest my palms on her exposed thighs, running my thumbs in gentle circles. How is it even possible that this amazing woman could want someone like me?
“I would love to take you home, but you know what I want more?” I ask.
She tips her head to the side waiting for my answer.
“To take you back up there and show you off. If I can’t beat Lucas half to death, can we at least torment him a little bit? Show him he doesn’t matter to you, that he doesn’t affect you. That he doesn’t affect us, or what we do. That he doesn’t get to dictate our actions.” A slow smile spreads across her face.
“That sounds wonderful. Plus, they do serve pretty good food at these things,” she says laughing.
I reach up and grab her hips gently, standing with her still pressed against me. She slowly slides down me until her bare feet touch the ground. I look down at her and take her in, she looks like a movie star.
“How much did that dress cost?” I ask before I can sto
p myself. She looks down and smiles.
“Sixty dollars, it was on sale. Not a name brand designer but I never cared to pay for a label. And my shoes were thirty dollars from Amazon,” she winks.
I’m pretty sure I feel my eyes bug out of my head and she laughs at me. She’s amazing. Here, surrounded by people wearing outfits that cost thousands of dollars, and she looks like a goddess in an outfit that cost less than a hundred bucks. The suit Sol made me get cost more after the alterations they had to do to fit my shoulders.
“I have nothing to prove to these people, my bank accounts are bigger than most of theirs, and they know it. The cost of my outfit has no standing against my net worth.” She shrugs, “And that’s really all they care about anyways.”
I reach down for her hand, and she laces our fingers together. Bending down I retrieve her shoes then hold my other hand out to hers. She places her small hand in mine, and I raise it to place a small kiss on her knuckles.
“Come on let's go show you off,” I say and bend down to place a quick kiss on her lips.
“Is that okay?” I ask, “Is it okay if I kiss you?” Not knowing if she actually wants me to kiss her, not here anyways.
She stops walking and tugs on my hand, so I stop and face her. Not because she’s actually strong enough to move me, but because I will always listen to what she wants and no matter how small the gesture, I never want her to question that.
“Are you asking me what I think you are?” she glares at me and puts her free hand on her hip.
“I just, I just don’t want to mess this up. Or do something you don’t want,” I say.
“You mean you don’t know if I want you to kiss me, hold my hand, or generally touch me affectionately in front of the judgmental assholes back up there.” She nods her head towards the house.
“I don’t want to embarrass you. Even just being here with me, Hart I very clearly do not belong here. I’m a convict, and it’s obvious,” I sigh, and she takes a step towards me, and wraps her small arms around me, pushing her body close to mine. I instinctively wrap my arms around her.
