Very general … better, much better.
What was the next question? Tara looked back down at the paper.
Which contestant is your personal favorite? “Well, I’m trying to remain neutral, but, if I’m honest I’d have to say I like Vinny. He’s funny in a … a quirky sort of way. ”
Scratching oneself in unseemly places in public is quirky? Or was it the way he drinks from a straw in his nose? She was lying again…
No, really, Tara thought—he’d be perfect for Kelsey. He could help her scratch her rash.
“Oh, and I think Kelsey likes him too.” Tara winked at the camera. “I saw her at the bar with him and they were laughing over something.”
Okay, so Kelsey wasn’t really laughing with Vinny, Tara recalled. Kelsey had her mouth open because she couldn’t believe he could drink from a straw in his nose. It was shock, not laughter.
Same damn difference.
Impressions Session officially over.
Besides she had a competition to judge. Save The Damsel In Distress, if she remembered correctly from her schedule. That certainly had to involve something physically required by the contestants from the sounds of it .Hopefully, Kelsey’s rash would survive it. Hopefully, August would do what he said he intended to do and lose.
Chapter Nineteen
My Hero
August was tired. After a night with Tara, all he wanted to do was go back to the hut and climb in bed with her. So did his nether friend.
He definitely didn’t want to play, “Save the Damsel in Distress”, but it seemed Kelsey’s rash was on a quicker mend than the crew had anticipated.
What a sport, that Kelsey.
Again, with the luck of a blue-haired lady loose in Atlantic City with a cupful of quarters, August’s name was chosen at random to compete for another date with Kelsey. Five of the eight remaining contestants had to complete a series of obstacles and save Kelsey from the castle.
The contestant with the best time after crossing the moat of mud wins.
Yippee Skippee.
As of now, the time to beat would be Aaron’s, who’d hauled Kelsey over the finish line with apparent ease.
The jury members sat in a row on the lush green lawn at the end of the obstacle course overlooking the ocean. August’s eyes scanned the course. It seemed simple enough. Jump a hurdle or ten, swing across some vile smelly stuff, climb a wall, swim the length of a pool, get Kelsey from the fake Styrofoam rock and drag her ass through the moat to the finish line.
If he took his time, he could easily let someone else win. Then he’d be free to spend the evening with Tara, who was sitting, pretty as a picture, at the end of this stupid He-man event.
“Hey, August,” Aaron called to him as he jogged over to where August was standing.
“Hey Aaron, nice time you made there.” August slapped him on the back.
Aaron smiled, looking as refreshed as if he’d just stepped out of the shower and certainly not like he’d just lugged Kelsey’s butt over the finish line. “Well, yeah. I ran track all through high school. I’m not normally one to brag, but I’d dare anyone to beat my time,” Aaron said smugly.
Oh, really … a dare, you say? Was that cocky August heard in Aaron’s tone? August cracked his knuckles. “Well, I didn’t run track in high school, but I was a late bloomer.”
Aaron smiled with an odd look on his face. “Cool, dude. Good luck.”
Are you saying I need luck, dude? August sucked his gut in and slapped his belly as his competitive streak flared. He could run faster than a stupid kid who came to a reality show to find a bride to “hang ten” with him.
Watch this, Bruce Jenner…
August lunged, stretching his legs and absently thought about the jury. He hoped Tara was watching. August resigned himself to the coming rant his guilt was going to plague him with.
Okay, it was time to give it up, it was supposed to be Kelsey he hoped was watching, not Tara. August knew that, but his conscience wouldn’t quit reminding him of it—it was fast approaching a rather sore point. He’d already decided he was going to forfeit this round of competition no matter what, because he didn’t want to go out with Kelsey and so he could go on boinking the fabulous Tara.
And the hell with this damn show.
Well, thank God he’d gotten that straightened out.
August rolled his shoulders and took his place at the starting line. The time to beat was “beach boy’s.” Aaron was quick and spry. If he paced himself, he could come in a couple of seconds off and walk away the real victor.
Preston Weichert blew the whistle and August was off and running.
August easily cleared the first ten hurdles, without breaking a sweat. All of the jury members were whistling and yelling his name but Tara. Well, what the hell was that about? She sure thought Vinny was all that and a bag of chips when he’d swung over that pile of gunk. August pumped his legs harder, straining his muscles to out-perform Vinny.
He grabbed the rope, nearly losing his grip and swung in a wide sweep over the slime. When his feet touched the ground, he slipped in some of it, but regained his footing and charged toward the wall.
Up and over.
Easy cheesy, Japanesie.
Diving gracefully into the pool in a smooth arc of flesh and a fearsome desire to strut his stuff, he pounded the water. Clearing the pool and popping out the other side with a quick jump.
The roar of the jury fed the flames of victory for August. He could taste it on his tongue, hear it in his head. He forgot all about losing as he charged toward Kelsey, perched high atop a fake rock, squishing all the way.
August ran over the rough terrain in his soggy sneakers as though it were nothing more than a walk in the park.
When he reached Kelsey, she smiled broadly. “I knew you could do it!”
August ignored her and the red crap all over her face. Grabbing her around her waist, he threw her over his shoulder and began to make his way back down the slope of rock.
He grunted as she slapped against his back. Jesus H. she was heavy. Sweat began to drip from his brow as the hot sun made pretty, brightly flecked rays of light appear before his eyes. He gripped her tighter, just below the knees, running for all he was worth. Kelsey yelped as she bounced violently, but he could barely hear her for the roar of competitive muses screaming in his ear.
August, August, August!
Diving into the mud moat, he almost forgot Kelsey was on his back, but for the pounding, she was doing with her hands against his ass and the sag in his now aching shoulder. He schlepped his way through the thick mud, half-dragging, half pulling her big butt, digging his fingers into her flesh to keep from losing his grip on her before he made it to the finish line.
Just a fe w more feet and he would greet victory with a rebel yell. Every muscle in his body screamed its protest as he tripped and stumbled through the last leg of the race.
He victoriously threw Kelsey over his shoulder with a howl of agony and dropped her just over the chalk line finish. The jury went wild, clapping and chanting his name. Everyone but Tara, who he could just make out through the clumps of mud in his eyes. She clapped politely and sat back down in her chair, tight lipped.
Kelsey lay on the ground, mud spattered and red faced. Her blonde hair streaked
with dirt, lying limply around her face. “Four-point-two!” someone yelled from the crowd. Huh? Four-point-two? Yep, that was his time, now who was the real Bruce Jenner? He’d
beaten Aaron by two tenths of a second.
August hobbled over to the grassy area by the jury and sank to the ground, letting his head hang between his legs and remembered what he’d won as a result of his amazing physical display.
Please, not another date.
Well, he was a real Superman, now wasn’t he? So much like Superman, he’d won the contest for the date with Kelsey. Crap. He should have thought of that before he went screaming through this contest like George of the Jungle.
August gro
aned long and loud. It was the geek in him, always trying to prove he was
superior. It made him competitive and ornery and determined to win at all costs. Oh, he won all right. Aaron was smacking him on the back to confirm it. It must have been the confusion on his face that prompted Aaron to ask, “Know what
the prize is tonight, champ? A dinner date with the lovely Kelsey, poolside.” August gasped for breath, “Tonight?” “Yep.”
Hell.
* * *
August straightened his tie as he crossed the path leading toward the pool. Soft, twinkling lights glowed in the trees and lanterns were scattered on the tables surrounding the pool.
He guessed the table with the red tablecloth and candles was the place to be. What a production for a little pineapple and booze. A bottle of champagne sat in an ice bucket with two fluted glasses nearby. He hated champagne.
The camera crew sat around drinking coffee, awaiting Kelsey’s arrival.
“Hey, guys. How’s it going? ”
“Nice job today, August. That was the best time I’ve seen yet,” Gary, the soundman commented. He couldn’t help a smug smile. “Thanks.” And look what he’d ended up with for all of his efforts. You Olympiad, you. Chairs shuffled as Kelsey fluttered to the table in a black dress and heels. And the camera crew readied themselves. George barked orders in an unusually short tone to the rest of the crew set to tape the date.
Hookay, let’s get the show on the road so I can get the hell out of here was all August was thinking. A piece of pineapple, some booze to wash it down with, and he was gone.
“August, don’t you look handsome?” Kelsey said as she made her way directly for
him. August accepted her embrace, giving her a quick peck somewhere around her ear. “Do you like my dress?” Her breasts pressed against his chest. August pushed her back at arms length, hoping to avoid too much contact with her.
“It’s very nice.” Could you catch whatever that gunk was on her face? August felt the
cold chill of a shudder zip up his spine over the very prospect of it.
Kelsey smiled sweetly. “Thank you. ” She wasn’t letting go.
“Why don’t we sit down? ” August untangled himself and pulled out a chair for her.
“Oooh, champagne. I love champagne, don’t you? ”
A beer would be far more satisfying. “I’m not much of a drinker.”
“Pour some and we’ll have a toast.”
August dutifully sloshed some of the champagne in the glasses and handed Kelsey one.
She raised hers and did the sultry, seductive thing with her eyes. “To us and tonight.”
Yeah, yeah. Whatever. “To tonight,” he agreed. There will be no us. The sound system designed especially for the pool was playing something slow and romantic.
“Oh, music! C’mon August, let’s dance.” Kelsey held out her hand to him.
“Um, I’m not much of a dancer.” He whispered low, hoping the cameras wouldn’t catch it.
“I’ll show you how. C’mon, ” she coaxed.
August took her hand reluc tantly and she clung to it, pulling him flush to her. “There, see it’s easy. ” Her hips fashioned themselves to his and she draped her arms around his neck. “Oh, August,” she whispered in his ear, “Is that a pencil in your pocket, or are you happy to see me ?”
August’s hand went immediately to his pocket. Nope, not a pencil… A pen. “It’s a pen, ” he answered honestly.
Kelsey let her head fall back on her shoulders. “I think you’re just teasing me,” she giggled at him. Her laughter tinkled in the air, grating on his nerves. “You were really great out there today, August. You fought hard for me.”
Not on purpose. “I’ve always liked a good competition. ”
“Especially when the prize is me?”
“Yeah…”
Kelsey pulled his face down to hers. “So, I guess you’re ready to kiss me then? ”
Christ, were we back to the kissing thing again? She was like a dog with a bone. August sneezed in her face—her perfume was killing him. It clung to his nostrils and invaded his sinuses like Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn. She didn’t smell nearly as good as Tara. “Sorry, did I spray you? ” He wiped his nose with the palm of his hand. “I think we should still wait on the kiss. This is only our second date…”
Kelsey huffed at him, “How many dates to we have to have before you kiss me, August?”
There aren’t enough in this lifetime. Especially not with that crap on her face. “Why is it so important to kiss me, anyway? ” August wondered aloud.
Kelsey was clinging to him as she swayed with the music, ignoring his question. Her eyes had that dreamy look about them that made August cringe.
“Hold me tighter,” she encouraged, wrapping his arms around her waist.
As she tightened her hold on him, he looked more closely at her face. Man that looked like shit, all red and scaly. “So did you find out what caused … that?”
“What?”
“That crap on your face.”
Kelsey frowned. “A rash, I ate something I was allergic to, or at least that’s what the doctor said. Forget the rash and dance with me.”
It was kind of hard to focus on much else, those big angry welts looked like they might pop at any second and ooze something really gross. He shivered in distaste. Kelsey must have thought this meant he was all turned on, because the next thing he knew her tongue was in his mouth and she was dragging him around the pool.
Okay, date stops here. August tweaked her waist and she yelped, losing her footing.
It happened in slow motion, all at once and without warning.
Kelsey stumbled, her feet flying out from under her as the heel on her shoe broke. Rather than clinging to his neck, she let go with a scream, startling him, making him let go of her as she fell backwards into the pool with a mighty impressive splash. If they’d been doing cannon balls or something, she’d have scored a ten.
August stood stunned by the edge of the water, while Kelsey sputtered her way to the surface. Her hair was plastered to her head and her dress floated in a big black pool around her. One lone shoe floated past her.
One of the crewmembers yelled, “Stop … stahhhhppp…” he gasped for breath, “roll—iiing.” The “ing” in roll came out with a long squeak as he choked with hilarity. The camera man had to lay his camera down because he was having a screaming fit of laughter. His high-pitched giggle broke August’s composure. He started to laugh too, then he howled while he reached blindly for a chair to hold him up. He had to stop laughing because his stomach hurt.
“Dammit, could someone help me here?” Kelsey screeched from the pool, pounding her fists on the water’s surface.
August held out his hand and yanked her out with a tug as the makeup people came running with a bathrobe and towels.
He jammed his hands in his pocket and rocked back on his heels, staying in the background while everyone fussed over the sopping wet Kelsey.
Now was the time to make haste. He walked over to Kelsey’s chair where she sat shivering. That was just a little dramatic it was freakin’ ninety degrees. “I’m sorry, Kelsey. I hope you feel better soon. You’d better go back to your room and rest up and have them take care of that … that stuff on your face. G’night.”
He moved like lightning, away from the pool and back to his hut. It was only eight-thirty, so Tara would still be up. His heart did that stupid girlie thing in his chest over seeing her.
Gordon wasn’t in the room when he got there, thankfully. August ripped off his suit jacket and pulled off his tie. The night was young … and meant for schtupping. He grinned.
Chapter Twenty
It’s a bird, it’s a plane!
“Well, well, look who it is.” Tara swung open the door to her room, “It’s Mr. Triathlon. What brings you to this neck of the woods, Super Boy? Don’t you have a poor, helpless female to rescue?”
August pushed his way past her, sli
ding the door shut firmly behind him. “I’m sorry, all right? I didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did. And it’s not a triathlon. I did like four or five events that would make it something quite different. I think it’s decathlon.”
Tara knew she sounded petty, but after August’s performance this afternoon, she was hard pressed to believe he didn’t want to win this game and Kelsey. “Really? Gee, it sure looked like you were pretty determined to win, judging by the way you hauled Kelsey over the finish line.”
August snickered, “Believe me, it wasn’t easy getting her there either. My shoulder is killing me.” He rubbed it vigorously for effect. “You could make it feel better, you know…”
Hah! As if that was going to happen. More likely she’d offer to dislocate it. “Why don’t you see if Kelsey is available for massage therapy? ”
“You’re jealous…” He seemed rather pleased by this turn of events.
“I am not.”
“Yep, you are. If you weren’t jealous you wouldn’t be angry over me winning the date with Kelsey. You would know I can be trusted.”
Tara threw her hands up in the air. “Well, gee Auggie, maybe I wouldn’t question your trustworthiness if you didn’t seem hell-bent on winning every competition like some damn winning machine.”
August frowned, “Hey, I didn’t pick the winning key. It just happened.”
“Oh please. Like making a time even Flo Jo couldn’t beat—without carrying Kelsey on her back—doesn’t look like you’re hoping to lose! Give me a break.”
He smiled at her, all sexy and sweet. “I don’t have nails nearly as nice as Flo did…”
“Quit making jokes, if you want Kelsey, say the word and then go away. ”
Turning on her heel, Tara plopped down in the chair and crossed her legs.
August kneeled in front of her and put his hands on her knees. His eyes were doing the puppy dog thing to the best of his limited acting abilities. “But, I don’t want Kelsey to massage me or anything else. I’d much rather have you do it. Besides, she’s kind of ‘all wet’ right now. ”
Whose Bride Is She Anyway Page 18
