Julian and his sister exchange a quick glance, then Vivian said, “You can go.”
“Thanks, Mom!” Shelby almost skipped for joy.
“Do you know,” Julian said, turning to face the little girl, “that before your mom ate quinoa, chia seeds, and kale, and downed green tea and wheatgrass smoothies like nobody’s business, she used to stuff her face with greasy fries and chocolate shakes?”
“She did?” Surprise marked her pretty features.
“She sure did.” Julian led her from the room. “She went to McDonald’s allllll the time.” He dragged the word out with exaggerated courtesy. “And look at your mom now. She turned out just fine.” He cleared his throat loudly. “For the most part.”
“I heard you, Julian,” Vivian called after his disappearing back.
I smiled. “I take it he spoils her a lot?”
“Oh, you won’t believe how much he spoils Shells. He thinks she hung the moon,” Vivian said reproachfully, but the warmth and affection she felt for her brother lit up her face and lingered in her eyes. “But Shells doesn’t have any grandparents, not here anyway, so Julian tries to make up for that.”
I looked out the window, watching Julian, Evan, and Shelby tear up the grass as a friendly looking German Shepherd skittered and streaked around them in tight circles. “He’s really good with the kids.”
“Of course he is,” Vivian said, concealing her wicked amusement beneath a giggle. “Julian’s an overgrown kid himself, if you haven’t noticed.”
Smiling, I stared out the open window, watching them roughhouse together, the sound of their laughter carried on the wind. “Was Julian always like this?” I asked, finding myself wanting to know more about him.
There was the slightest hesitation before she responded. “No. Not always.”
I said nothing, waited.
When she spoke again, I sensed the consideration behind her words. “There was a time when I thought I’d almost lost him.” After a sharp intake of breath, she said quietly, “I’m just glad I have my brother back.”
Almost lost him? To what? And how had she almost lost him?
I didn’t know and I didn’t want to pry. After all, we had only just met.
For a moment, Vivian seemed lost in thought, her eyes distant as she stared out the window.
I followed her gaze. Julian was lying on the lawn, flat on his back, and the kids had turned him into their own personal Jungle Gym.
“He adores Shelby,” I said, bringing her back to the present.
“Oh, they’ve been inseparable since day one,” Vivian said with a warm smile. “When I had Shells, Liam—my husband, he had to work really long hours. He’d just opened a restaurant, and that took a lot out of him.” She exhaled hard. “We were both exhausted all the time. And Julian was a lifesaver. I can’t tell you how many times he got up in the middle of the night with Shells and fed her a bottle so I could get some extra sleep. She was a colicky baby, but he always managed to soothe her. He’d sing to her and gently rock her to sleep, pacing up and down the house all night. And he’d have to get up early to go to work the next morning.”
What a good brother, I thought. And someday he’d make an amazing dad and a great husband.
The thought stopped me cold like a shot upside the head.
I took a mental step back to examine my feelings.
Is that what I want from Julian?
Something that will last? Something permanent?
Is that what he wants from me?
As if she could hear my thoughts, Vivian said, “Julian hasn’t been in a serious relationship in a while.” She paused. “Not after Chelsea.”
There was a lull in our conversation and I could sense she wanted to tell me more.
And in the next breath, she did. “She was his fiancée, and a good friend of mine. He, uh… he took it really hard when she ended their engagement.”
Wait—what? Julian was engaged? And he’s been through a broken engagement?
“Why’d she break it off?” I asked, speaking the words before thinking them through.
“I don’t know.” A frown pulled at her brows. “I think they were at different places in their lives. She was still in college at the time—in USD. And he got a job out here in the bay area. He was working really hard, trying to get his career started. He wanted to make something of himself, and in a lot of ways he was doing it for her. He wanted them to have a good start when they got married… to give her the stability she craved.” She sighed. “Anyway, they were spending a lot of time apart, and she grew close to someone else. Someone she ended up falling for.”
Seconds passed before I spoke. “And Julian?”
“He took it really badly.” She swallowed hard. “He was crushed.”
Just hearing that crushed me, too. My heart ached for him, pain clamping down on me like a vise. And I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing.
Vivian was quiet for a heartbeat before she went on. “It cut him even deeper when she told him she wasn’t ready for marriage. Then six months later, she ended marrying that other guy.”
When she looked at me again, her expression was softer, more contemplative. “I’m only telling you this because I can tell he really likes you. He’s pretty serious about you.”
Though she left it at that, don’t break his heart was clearly implied, even though it wasn’t enunciated.
Chapter Twenty-Four
That night as we lay in bed, tangled between the sheets, Sadie reached out and laid a hand upon my chest. “Thanks for taking me to meet your family today. They’re pretty awesome.”
I let my fingers drift to her hair and touched the soft, silky strands of it. “What do you think of my sister?”
“Vivian’s great.” She brought her hand up to my face, tracing the shape of my jawline with a light, tentative motion. “She’s really protective of you.”
Sighing, I closed my eyes for a long moment and leaned into her touch.
My sister must have told her about my broken engagement, how much it had affected me. Though it was five years ago, sometimes the pain was as fresh as if it were yesterday.
And I didn’t want to talk about it. Not tonight. Not for a while.
I liked Sadie. I liked what we had, and I didn’t want to think of the past nor did I want to contemplate our future. The present was all that mattered.
And the present was her—Sadie—wrapped in my arms.
Just as I was drifting off to sleep, Sadie spoke again, so softly I could not be certain it was not a dream. “I would never to do that to you.” Her voice cut through the darkness. “I would never hurt you.”
Turning on my side, I tucked her into my body and spooned her close, letting the warmth and tenderness in her voice wrap itself around my heart and lull me into a deep and restful sleep.
The next morning, Sadie stopped by my desk en route to her office. “Hey,” she said with a faint smile.
It was early, and there was no one else at the office, but still, I was careful. One could never be too careful in this office. “Hey,” I said politely, keeping up the façade.
“We need to discuss the Davis account.”
Just seeing her made me forget about the world around me. “Now?” I asked. The Davis account was our code for an afternoon fuck. But technically, it didn’t have to take place in the afternoon. I could fuck her morning, noon, and night, and all the hours in between.
A bright flush stained her cheeks. “No. We’ll discuss it at lunch.”
“Of course,” I said, catching that glimmer of mischief in her eyes.
As she turned to leave, I watched her walk away, feeling like the luckiest man on earth. Lunch could not come soon enough.
It was some time before I realized Tim was standing in front of me, arms folded across his chest. After a long silence, he said quietly, “You’re fucking her, aren’t you?”
The effort it took to keep my face blank was considerable. “I don’t know what you’re talking
about.”
His mouth twisted into a sour smile. “You’re a piss poor liar.”
My jaw flexed as I forced my gaze back to my computer screen.
I didn’t want Tim knowing anything about us.
It wasn’t his business. It wasn’t anybody’s business.
But Tim wouldn’t drop the subject. “People in the office are talking. About you and the sadist.” After a pause, he added, “They know.” Another pause. “And I know.”
The worst part was Tim seemed so damned smug about it.
I took a calculated breath and kept my eyes fixed on my computer screen.
I didn’t know how word had gotten out at the office that I was seeing Sadie.
I thought I had been discreet. I thought we had been discreet. But maybe what I felt for Sadie was written all over my face in bright neon lights. Even now.
“How’d it feel?” Tim smirked. “To tap that ass? Is she a frigid fuck? Or is she a player in the boardroom and a freak in the bedroom?”
I clenched my teeth until my jaw hurt, an icy rage sweeping through me. “Enough!”
“Hey. Calm down, man.” He backed up a step. “Slow your roll. People are talking, just saying.”
As Tim took his leave, I released a ragged sigh. And I couldn’t shake off the sinking feeling that I’d just stepped right into his snare.
When lunch came around, I went to Sadie’s office to retrieve her. We kept a respectable distance until we were both in my car.
“Where to?” I slipped my hand between her legs and up her skirt, needing to touch her, to feel her.
“Mmm.” She tipped her head back into the headrest and closed her eyes. “I’m horny.” A low moan eased from her throat as I slid a finger inside her slick heat. “But I’m hungry as hell. Let’s go eat first.”
“All right.” I switched on the ignition. “Where would you like to go?”
“The food court.”
“The food court?” I tried but failed to keep the surprise from my voice. “You mean like Hot Dog on a Stick or Sbarro?”
“What’s wrong with that?” Her tone was slightly defensive. “I’m sorry but I’ll never love a fancy restaurant the way I love a food court in the mall.”
“You’re a cheap date, Miss Frost.” I put the car into reverse and backed out of the parking spot. “But if the food court is where you want to go, that’s where we’ll go.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I sat enjoying my corndog, served straight out of the fryer and cooked to golden perfection. “See?” I enthused as I took in our surroundings. “How can you not love this place? There is something here for everyone! Pizza, Panda Express, burgers, steak subs, sushi, giant pretzels, Chick-fil-A, bourbon chicken, Jamba Juice—everything! You won’t ever get tired of eating here. And look, Julian! There’s even an Orange Julius to go with your meal.”
Julian laughed. A ha-ha-ha just kill me now laugh. “Sorry, Sadie.” He dug into his Kung Pao Chicken. “But you’re not convincing me that a food court is better than a restaurant. I need to take you to my buddy Liam’s bistro one of these days.”
“Do they serve hot dogs on a stick? Do they serve freshly squeezed lemonade? More importantly, will I get to watch them squeeze the lemons by jumping up and down on an old fashioned lemon press?”
“Well… no.”
“Case closed.”
Leaning back in his chair, he reached for his Coke and took a huge gulp. “I guess if you’re going out to eat with a bunch of people, a food court is sort of a compromise. Everyone gets to eat what they want.”
“Exactly.” I chewed on my food and swallowed before continuing. “As I was saying, I don’t understand how you can’t love this place. Unless, of course, you’re some kind of communist.”
He almost choked on his Coke. “Right. Next time we have an office lunch we should all gather here. Sally from Accounting can enjoy her boring salad, while I can decide between crappy Chinese food, crappy Japanese stir fry, or Hot Dog on a Stick,” he said wryly. “Oh, or Sbarro.”
“Gosh.” I bit back a laugh. “Who knew you were such an elitist food snob.”
“I’m not.” He put on a prissy accent. “I’m what you would call an artisanal culinarian.”
“Artisanal?” I held back a groan. “That’s just synonymous for overpriced.”
He carried on talking as if I hadn’t said a thing. “I’m a gourmand, an epicure, a gastronomist, a connoisseur of sorts. And I do happen to have occasional forays into the deep, dark underworld of junk food.” He winked. “Just not at the food court.”
I shook my head. “You’re so full of it.”
“Hey.” He gave a careless shrug. “How’d you think I got to be Creative Director?” After a thoughtful pause, he said, “Speaking of which, are you gonna apply for the Account Director position?”
“Why?” I said with some surprise.
“I think you should.”
“What’s the point? I’d be going up against Tim, and you know he’s got the upper hand.”
“What do you mean?”
“For one, he’s a man. Not to mention,” I added, making air quotes with my fingers. “He’s in The Boy’s Club.”
There was this prevailing culture at the firm where the men went golfing on weekends, they rode their Harleys together, and once a year they even planned a fishing trip to Canada. The women weren’t invited in that clique.
“So?” he countered. “Tim has zero aptitude for the business. All that schmoozing, golfing, and pleasing only gets him so far.”
“Julian, haven’t you noticed there’s a gender bias, an outright misogyny that exists in our office?” The reality was, the women at the office were still viewed and judged differently than the men.
“I have,” he said. “But you deserve the job more than Tim. His confidence outweighs his competence and the fucked up thing is that might actually help him get the job.”
“What?” I frowned. “Are you saying I’m not confident enough?”
“No. I’m just saying you should stop selling yourself short.”
“You’re a guy, Julian. You don’t understand what it feels like to be constantly undervalued, overlooked, and undermined. It’s not easy to shatter that glass ceiling.”
“Glass ceiling or glass cage?”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe you’re holding yourself back. What are you really afraid of, Sadie?”
In truth, I did aspire to do more, to be more, and to lead more. Yet a part of me had misgivings about my own ability to succeed and handle the demands of the new job without sacrificing my other aspiration—that of being a good mom.
Julian studied me as if he could read my mind. “Evan will be all right. Trust me. Your mom is doing better, she’s on the right track, and she wants to help. Let her help. You have me in your life now, and I’m not going anywhere, Sadie. Let me help.”
I expelled a weary sigh. “I don’t know…”
Too often I’d set my sights too low, aiming only for what I thought I’d have a solid chance of achieving, rather than what truly excited me. For years now, I’d been the quiet achiever, working my tail off as Senior Account Executive, and that never got me further ahead in the company.
This new job, this new opportunity—it excited me.
Julian reached across the table and took my hand in his own. “You are capable of more than you think.”
“I know I am capable of more. But because I’m a woman, I have to double it. I have to actually think bigger to be bigger.”
“Now you’re talking. And…” A slow grin began to spread across his face. “If you get this position, Tim will have to report to you.”
“Hell, yeah,” I said gleefully. “That alone is enough to make me want to go for it.”
“Then do it.” His words sounded like a dare.
I bit my lip, considering.
As my hesitation stretched, he said, “You’ve got this in the bag, you know that, right.”
&
nbsp; I pulled in a steadying breath. “It’s not that I don’t want to. I know I have what it takes but I’m not politically savvy like Tim. I don’t know how to work the system. I don’t engage in self-promotion. And it bugs me when others do that. You know, just because Tim thinks he’s got the biggest zucchini in the room, it doesn’t mean he has to take it out and flop it on the dinner table. Well,” I amended, “in our case, the conference table.”
“Then maybe you should start.” His eyes gleamed with laughter. “Start showing them that you have the bigger zucchini.”
His expression was so adorably earnest that I had to laugh. “It would feel too much like bragging.”
“It’s not bragging if you can back it up.” His voice went serious. “And you’ve consistently backed it up, Sadie. Across the board, you bring in more clients and more revenue than any other account exec. Period. You’re phenomenal at what you do.”
I was absurdly warmed by his words. No one had ever said that about me before and a part of me welcomed that small gesture of recognition. I smiled at him in gratitude.
But Julian wasn’t quite finished yet. “But they’re not gonna fully value your skills, your expertise, your time, and potential unless you do. Advocate for yourself, take credit for your successes, and let them know what you’re made of. Show them your mettle. Show them your zucchini.”
“Um.” My lips quirked and I suppressed a grin. “Can we please stop talking about zucchinis?”
“You’re the one who started it,” he stated matter-of-factly. “Now, are you gonna go for it or not?”
I didn’t answer him right away. But I gave his question some thought as I sipped on my lemonade. If I was being honest with myself, I didn’t want to tell him that I wasn’t going to, or that I couldn’t.
Because every time I’d ever said the words I can’t… well, I kind of can.
“If I am,” I said at last. “I’ll need a new dress for the interview.”
“What are we waiting for? We’re in a mall.” He checked his watch. “And we’ve got time to spare. Let’s go shopping.”
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