by Setta Jay
She felt sickness in the pit of her gut. “Are there still females in the clans that you fathered children with?”
He paused and she knew. It made her heart actually hurt: she felt like she was bleeding out.
“Yes.”
*****
Conn growled as Dacia pulled from his arms. He felt her pulling away more than just physically, and it felt like a blow. He didn’t like it. His beast liked it even less as he snarled.
“How many?” she asked with a resigned look on her face.
“How many females bore my children?” He looked at her and couldn’t believe what he was seeing and hearing from her.
“Yes.”
“Don’t do it, Dacia,” he growled.
She frowned at him. “I want to know before I meet them.”
“Do not make this another excuse to avoid the mating. You don’t get to use something I was forced to do thousands of years ago as a mark against me. Or them. We weren’t in love. We didn’t even need to like each other to be forced to breed. One female is mated. The only other one left alive is living her own damned life. We didn’t have a relationship then or even after. We all moved on separately to get past it. We all carried the shame.” His eyes flared that she would hold that against him.
*****
“I’m not holding anything against you. I don’t know what I’m feeling. How would you like knowing a male gave me children that I mourn? That are on my skin? Tell me how you think I should react to that.”
“These children were ones I didn’t protect, Dacia. These young deserve fucking more from me than to forget or to blame them for why and how they were born. If you can’t accept that I have a shitty past filled with nightmares, then I don’t know where we go from here.” He looked disappointed and angry, and she felt like a piece of her soul was ripping. She knew he felt like she thought less of him. She’d hurt him, but she was hurting too. This was like leaping off a skyscraper. He’d gotten up and was running his hands over his beautiful angry face.
“You’re not understanding me.” She searched for a way to get beyond this, beyond the emotion strangling her.
“Then explain it to me,” he growled.
She took the biggest chance and opened her mind to him and let him feel the truth. His eyes glittered under the moonlit sky as she let all of her feelings and insecurities sit out there in the open. It was hard to breathe through the emotion clogging her throat. “It’s not the children. It’s that those females shared something so momentous and completely horrible that it defined who you are. Created a bond with you, a huge one. One I’ll never have, and how do I compete with something so big it made you a God among Immortals?” She felt tears well with the real fear that she wasn’t worthy in some way, that her bond wouldn’t be strong enough, because she didn’t compare to the strength of those other females. That it was too late to do anything but move forward into their eternity as a mate that was somehow lacking.
“Shit, Dacia,” was all he said before pulling her into his arms, into his lap in the nearest chair. “This isn’t a competition, because it couldn’t be. I love you beyond anything fated. You. The connection you think I have with those females isn’t what you imagine it is.” He opened his thoughts to her. “For centuries after the labs were destroyed, we were all mostly feral. There was a lot of shame on all sides. No one can truly understand unless they’ve lived it, so I guess we shared that, but we moved on. We don’t talk; we never had relationships outside of what was forced on us. None of us knew our children, and that guilt ate at all of us.”
She settled into his warmth and listened to his words, trying to find answers that would get her past the uncertainty.
“What I share with them is mutual horrors. What I share with you, what you give me is beauty… hope, fucking peace. It’s so much more than I ever anticipated; you’re a gift beyond words and emotion. You’re the piece of my soul that makes me whole again. You make me feel like I’m worthy of having a family I’m finally strong enough to keep.”
Tears streamed down her cheeks. He felt it all, she knew, because he was open to her. She wanted to be that for him. “I want it all, but it scares the crap out of me.” He lifted her head from his neck and kissed her tears away before taking her lips. So damned sweet. So perfect she melted and left her mind open to him as they made love under the stars. She clung to his words and the conviction behind them. Held them close and made herself trust them as she let go.
Chapter 35
Guardian Manor, Tetartos Realm
Sirena had just come back from Limni, where she was looking in on the infants. She loved spending time there, but it got to her. She worried for the children. Thirty wasn’t a long life span, but that was likely the furthest end of the spectrum for them.
In Cyril’s attempt at playing Creator, he’d enhanced how their reproductive systems would work. In a way that if they ever had children with another mortal, they’d likely have difficulties, multiple births—at the very least, twins. The bastard didn’t give any consideration for anything but his own goals, and those had been to enhance them to be powerful potential mates for himself or his damned males.
He’d also been selective regarding sex. There were few male children compared to the females, and she knew the twisted asshole had done that on purpose. He’d bred in a very specific way, and the males were meant to be studs.
“Sirena,” Conn said, walking up with Dacia under his arm. The look on his face said everything she needed to know.
“So I guess this means we have a mating ceremony to plan?” She smiled at them both. Conn’s beautiful mate had been reserved on the couple of occasions they’d spoken. She was still serious, and Sirena felt bad that she hadn’t made more of an effort to get to know her.
“Yes,” Conn said. “Are you going to check on Brianne and Vane?”
She smiled and got a little pang in her gut. He’d obviously explained what was happening to their sister and Vane, rather than keeping her in the dark with the same lies they told anyone who asked about the two.
He’d protected her from having to hide their secrets from her sisters, had given Dacia a choice when many of her brother Guardians wouldn’t have been so patient. Conn was different.
“I have to go grab some things from the infirmary, and then I’m heading down there.”
Conn nodded. “We’re going down there now.”
“I’ll meet you there, and we can talk about the ceremony too.”
*****
Conn and Dacia were just walking into Vane and Brianne’s room when he noticed her rubbing her head. “Are you okay?” Conn asked her, concerned.
“Headache.” That didn’t make sense unless she’d injured herself when sparring with the other females.
Two steps into the room he heard Drake’s mental call.
Conn, Jax and Bastian to Limni, hell beasts! Drake’s angry voice bellowed through the Guardian link. Conn cursed as Dacia’s gaze shot to his. She’d heard the order, and more were coming through the link. They’d had weeks of peace and now another attack? He didn’t fucking like it.
Conn winked at Dacia. “Don’t worry. It doesn’t usually take that long.” At least he hoped it wouldn’t. He ushered her out of Brianne and Vane’s room and up to the courtyard.
“Tell me you’re okay when you can,” she said, frowning, and he heard the worry in her voice.
“I will.” He lifted her into his arms and kissed her senseless before giving her a hot look. “I’ll need that sweet ass of yours when I get back.”
She was breathing hard when he left her in the courtyard of the manor, knowing her sisters would find her, and feeling pretty pleased he’d left her hot for him.
He teleported to the house, stripped off the flannel, and strapped a blade to his back. Beheading was the only way to finish a hell beast.
Blade in hand and the spare on his back, he ported in next to his brothers on the grassy rise. Immortal warriors were spread out down from the city. Th
ere were hundreds of beasts moving toward them. He slammed a few down with his ability and teleported in and out of the others, cutting the snake tail off an ophiotaurus while avoiding getting gored by its bull-like head. His brothers were doing much the same, different fighting styles but similar results.
Another slice left another hound in the growing piles of corpses. He slammed more down with his power and teleported in to cleave their heads. Again and again he and his brothers cut more down as they worked their way on down the rise, avoiding fire spewing from the beasts’ mouths and venomous teeth.
He teleported out of the way of one before slicing another’s head.
Well, I guess this means our vacation is up, Jax said through the link.
Looks that way, he mused back. He hoped to hell it wasn’t the start of a run like the last one. They’d fended off attacks for weeks nonstop and barely gotten any patrols done. The Tria had pulled out all the stops, sending a mass of demons to possess humans in Earth and hell beasts to Tetartos and Heaven. It had been a huge pain in the ass.
He cut down another ophiotaurus and saw a couple of tsouximo down the rise. Damn. The bastards weren’t as bad as the serpents, but still those damned cow-sized scorpions were some of the fastest and deadliest of the hell creatures. He settled in for a long fight. They just kept coming. He shook his head and went in for more.
*****
A sick feeling had settled in Dacia’s stomach ever since watching Conn teleport to battle the hell beasts. It was the first time she’d actually seen him go off to a fight. Her head was killing her, and she was worried, anxious and hoped to hell it was over soon.
“Sucks being left behind,” Rain said when she ported in next to her.
Dacia felt a little better knowing she wasn’t the only one left behind.
“This is why I want to learn to fight. I hate it. I know they’ll be fine, but still…” Rain said.
Dacia nodded.
Alyssa ported in a second later and sat down next to them. “I hate hell beasts. I truly hate them,” she said with a worried frown.
They were all partners in this. Sam came up with a bounding Havoc, Alex and Uri’s pet hellhound. “You got babysitting duty?” Rain asked as Havoc pushed his big black face into her hands. He wore a bright harness that labeled him as a pet and not to be killed by a frightened staff member. Dacia had never seen a hellhound before and even though she’d met the animal once before, she wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to his red eyes or dark shiny fur. He looked like a huge Doberman to her, and it seemed odd that he wasn’t affected by her wolf or vice versa. Dogs had never been overly excited to be near her, but she guessed hellhounds weren’t really dogs.
Alyssa frowned into her juice. “I’m never going to get used to him being in danger; it’s just not going to happen.” It sounded like she was talking more to herself than to them.
Dacia felt the same way. But worse, she had a sick, nervous feeling in the pit of her gut, and she worried it was her intuition and not just fear for Conn’s safety because of what he was facing. She bit her cheek, unsure what to do. She didn’t want to distract him at the wrong moment, so she just waited and ticked off the seconds and minutes, hoping she wasn’t making a mistake.
She relaxed a little when her brothers and sisters came walking up. “You’re early. Where’s Conn?” Hagen asked, frowning.
Out of nowhere Dacia’s eyes went blurry, and she felt the world sliding away. She heard her sisters cry out. She’d never felt anything like it. Wait, she’d felt something like the thick slide of despair, once. When her parents were dying. She’d been a child, but the disorientation was the same, though then she’d felt heat with it.
She heard Hagen shouting Jerric’s name through the link, but no answer, just the sick deafening silence accompanying the feeling of death sliding in.
Conn! she cried out. She couldn’t help the anguished need to have him with her.
Dacia, talk to me!
Go, she heard Drake growl as if he were giving permission when Conn was already next to her.
“What the fuck is happening?”
“He’s dying,” was all she could say. She felt like a piece of her was being cut from her body. Her vision was blurring, and Alyssa and the other females were up. Her sisters had fallen to the ground, huddled together with Havoc next to them. Her limbs were weak, and she knew she’d have fallen if she’d been standing. She gripped Conn’s arm. He dropped the bloody sword he’d been holding to the ground when he knelt next to her. His gaze went to her siblings. He unlatched the other blade strapped to his back, and it fell to the grass too. She felt numbness settle in. Gunn was hunched over with a violent look on his face, and Hagen stared off, still calling for their brother through the link, demanding her youngest brother answer him.
“Who?” Conn asked her.
“My brother Jerric.”
“Could you follow the link if you were in Earth?”
She shook her head. “Hagen could.”
She saw him turn to her eldest brother.
“Do we have time?” she heard him ask Hagen.
“Not much,” her brother responded.
“Fuck!”
Drake, I’m taking Havoc and Hagen, she heard Conn say through the Guardian link.
You better have a good fucking reason. The dragon snarled back, but Conn was already talking to Hagen.
“Where was he?”
She heard her brother tell Conn to go to her sisters’ house.
Conn kissed her forehead as he made demands of her brother.
“Hold on to Havoc now, around the neck and close to the body.” The hellhound settled and allowed her brother’s awkward grip, and then they were gone.
“It’ll be okay, Dacia. Havoc can get Hagen to Earth Realm, and Conn and Hagen will bring your brother back. They’ll get him,” Rain whispered, trying to reassure her.
Everything coming through the link made it impossible to understand more than the basics. Conn and Hagen could get to Jerric. She slid down to the ground with her sisters, Gunn next to them, as Alyssa, Rain and Sam spoke and went in different directions before coming back with blankets.
Chapter 36
Isa’s home, Earth Realm
“He’s not far.” Hagen hadn’t said shit about the teleport or how they’d managed to get through the Realm’s confinement spell. The male was riding on adrenaline, shaking off the nausea from the teleport faster than any newbie normally would have. Hagen’s muscles were tense as he used his power to unlock the doors and start the ignition of the SUV parked in front of the house.
“Havoc, home,” Conn told the beast a command he was familiar with. The animal ported back to Tetartos. Conn would be able to get Hagen and his brother back, but he couldn’t have gotten Hagen out without the hound. Conn hopped into the passenger side. They were fortunate it was dark because the wolf took the car through at least three turns on two wheels and blew through the stop signs on the rural roads.
“Did he say anything?” Conn asked the other male as he braced from being slammed into the side of the vehicle again.
“No,” Hagen bit out as he white-knuckled the steering wheel.
Conn hoped to hell they made it and didn’t have to deal with cops in the process. It was dark enough out it could be well after midnight here instead of the broad daylight they’d come from. That was good news because Conn was on his own with the wolf. His brothers were all busy with the battle in Tetartos. Conn ran a hand down his face. Drake was going to kick his ass hard for outing Havoc’s ability to Dacia’s whole damned family, but if they didn’t get the brother back alive, he was fucked all the way around.
Bastian, Jax, are you guys good? He took a deep breath as he checked on his brothers. He’d left them on a damned battlefield, and his gut twisted because you didn’t fucking do that shit. He’d barely finished cutting down a hound when Dacia cried his name. The anguish that had poured through the link slayed him, nothing mattered but getting to her.
> Yeah, man. We got this. Getting close to cleanup. She okay? Jax asked.
All I know is a brother in Earth Realm is dying. I have Hagen, and he’s tracking him, but it’s a close thing. No words from the brother, but they feel it. He clenched his teeth, his wolf near the surface at the thought of his mate’s suffering.
Don’t worry about shit here. We’ll be wrapping it up soon, Jax said.
Thanks.
Conn checked Dacia. Are you with me, princess?
What’s happening?
We’re not there yet. I’ll let you know when we have him. Not if. He wouldn’t say that. He just hoped to hell they were getting fucking closer. Hagen took another sharp turn, sending the car sliding, and Conn held the piece-of-shit handle at the side. He’d never been a fucking fan of cars. Bikes, yes, metal vehicle surrounding him, no. It would have been a hell of a lot more convenient if Hagen was able to teleport.
They were driving past an industrial section toward what looked like an old private airport. A trio of black SUVs spun out of a road ahead and to their right, now heading in the same direction as they were. Hagen growled as he turned the car down the road the vehicles had come from. Conn saw flames licking at a hangar and was out of the car and ripping down the metal door a second later.
He smelled accelerant and blood, a lot of fucking blood, and the power of something that should never have been there. He snarled in disbelief. No sprinklers, disabled. He used his power to break the fucking pipes to bring water raining down from above. Drake, everyone needs to get here fucking now! He smelled Apollo, and that meant somehow the God had been taken from his hiding place. He sent the mental image through the link.
