by A. T Brennan
“No, um...” Adam’s ears turned pink and I felt a little bad for what I’d said. He wasn’t used to my out and proud ways. Just because he was cool with me being gay didn’t mean I needed to throw it in his face like that.
“Sorry, my humor can get a little...crude.”
“I didn’t mean anything by what I said. A lot of hardcore fans wouldn’t know those stats. It just surprised me that you knew the stats but didn’t recognize me.”
“Well, in my defence you look a little different when you’re not in your uniform.” I grinned. “Plus you don’t quite get the same effect watching a game on TV as you do talking to the guy when he’s right in front of you.”
“I would imagine so.” He chuckled. “You like meat?”
I raised my eyebrow at him and tried not to smirk.
“I mean on your pizza.” He rolled his eyes but was smiling.
“Big fan of meat.” I didn’t add anywhere I can get it, but I’m sure he caught the implication.
“Well, I’m getting a large meat lovers with garlic bread. That cool?”
“It’s great, but you don’t have to cover me—”
“Like I said, it’s not a big deal. I’d order the same if it was just me and have the rest tomorrow.”
“Thanks, man.” I was happy we could get along, even if it was just over superficial conversation.
From what I’d seen of the student athletes around campus they acted like they owned the place. The football players were the worst, but the other teams had their moments. Everyone catered to them and acted like they were gods so they never had to answer for anything.
I didn’t know much about the rest of the baseball team, outside of their stats, but Adam wasn’t what I would have expected from a student athlete.
It looked like I’d lucked out with my new roomie, and not just because he was hot.
Chapter Two
Adam
As we waited for the pizza to arrive I subtly checked out my new roommate.
When I’d signed the lease all the landlord had told me was there was a guy already living here. I hadn’t asked for any more details and he hadn’t given any, but I was pleasantly surprised.
I can pretty much get along with anyone, so as long as he wasn’t an asshole we’d be okay, but there was something so contradictory about Logan.
He looked like a jock, I would swear he’d played some varsity sport in high school. He was tall, only an inch shorter than me, and at six-foot-one I tended to be taller than most people. Objectively I could say he was good-looking. His hair was a light, almost sandy brown and his eyes were a soft green. He was clean shaven, but his features were strong and masculine.
All of that made him handsome, but he also seemed to have an open personality, and he was friendly.
Hopefully it wasn’t all an act and we could get along. Life would be a lot easier if I didn’t have to worry about drama at home.
“You play Halo?” I asked after a pause. Sitting in silence was getting a little uncomfortable.
“Yeah. I used to play with my brother all the time. I’ve been on a Modern Warfare kick though.”
“No Russian,” I quipped and Logan laughed.
“Yeah, that part was a little fucked up. You play it?”
“I go back to it every once and awhile. I like the survival games right now.”
“Like The Last of Us?”
“Love that one. And Doom.”
“That’s not exactly a survival game.”
“No, but it’s creepy as fuck to play late at night.”
Logan laughed and shook his head. “Yeah, I imagine. I usually throw on Silent Hill when I want to freak myself out.”
“You a PS4 or Xbox One guy?”
“Had a PS4 with Matt.”
“Your ex?”
“My brother.” Logan grinned. “I left the system with him so he could teach his girlfriend how to play. She’s not much of a gamer but he’s hoping to convert her.”
“Right, you said you lived with him.” I nodded. “He go here?”
“Yup, same year.”
“Twins?”
“He’s a year older. Took a year off before college to kind of get his head together.”
“Oh. That’s cool.”
“You have any siblings?” he asked.
“Only child. You have just the one brother?”
“Two younger brothers too. Jay and Jax. They’re twins and they go here too.”
“Four boys, damn. Must have been busy.”
“It could be.” He leaned back against the couch cushion. “So, how did you end up here with less than a week to go before school?”
I leaned back and rubbed my hand over the stubble on my chin. The reason was a little fresh, but Logan seemed cool so I decided to be straight with him.
“My girlfriend and I broke up. I didn’t want to deal with the fallout so I moved out.”
“Ouch, sorry, man.”
“Yeah. It sucked.” I shook my head. “What about you? Your brother give you the boot for his girl?”
“Nah. Avery moved in with us over the summer and it was great, but they need their own space.”
“Was it awkward living with them?”
“Not at all. Avery is my best friend, but I could just tell they were being extra careful because I was around. I was starting to feel like the third wheel.”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “That sucks.”
“Really?” He smirked. “You’ve been the third wheel?”
“More times than I’d like to admit.” I grinned. “What do you study?”
“Communications. You?”
“Kinesiology.”
“What do you want to do with that?”
“I was thinking of being a physical therapist, focus on sports injuries.”
“What, no dreams of making it in the majors?” he asked teasingly.
“That would be awesome.” I grinned. “But, I know better than to plan my whole future around getting drafted. Even then I might never get called up and the minors will only hold on to you for so long.”
“Kind of a bleak outlook for an athlete.”
“What can I say, I’m a realist.” I shrugged and looked away for a second. He had no idea just how pessimistic I could be about my future, especially now.
“So, I kind of promised my brothers they could all come over on Saturday, is that cool?”
“Sure, you want me to find another place to be?”
“Oh, I kind of figured you’d have plans.” His face showed just how surprised he was at my question. “But you’re welcome to stick around if you want. Mi casa es tu casa.”
I couldn’t help chuckling. “I might be around.”
“You can have your friends over anytime, I can always find another place to be.”
“Why would you assume you have to leave?”
“I’m guessing your buddies mostly include the baseball team, right?”
“Yeah.”
“A bunch of jocks and the resident gay? I’m thinking that might not be such a good combo.”
“Why would you say that?” I tried not to get angry at the implication that being an athlete automatically made my friends and I homophobic asshats.
“Just my experience.” He shrugged.
“If any of my friends have an issue with you being gay then they can deal with me. I don’t stand for that shit.”
“Really?”
“You look shocked someone would stand up for you.”
“With all the crap going on in the world right now, it’s just unusual for me to hear.”
“I guess I can understand that. That might be true for other people, but I’ve never been that way. Be yourself and fuck everyone who doesn’t like it.”
Logan grinned and then pursed his lips, like he was fighting back a laugh.
“What? I’m trying to be a good guy here and you’re laughing at me.”
“It’s just funny to think of anyone not liking you. A superstar b
all player with a handsome face and a hot ass. So much to hate.”
I flushed at the mention of being hot. Normally compliments rolled off me, from girls or guys, but for some reason his made me feel a little heated.
“You’d be surprised how many people hate me.” I cleared my throat and tried to shift my thoughts.
Thankfully there was a knock at the door as the pizza arrived.
As I answered the door I couldn’t help wondering if Logan was checking out my ass. It was a crazy and asinine thing to wonder about, but he’d said he liked it.
I didn’t know what had shifted my thoughts this way, but I had to get the fuck over it. I had other things to worry about other than whether or not my new roommate thought I was hot.
* * * * *
As I sat in my room going over my class schedule I was still feeling a little out of sorts. Logan had been nothing but nice while we’d eaten, thanking me several times and offering to clean up. If he’d been ogling me at all he wasn’t making it obvious, but my mind kept wandering.
I had a lot of shit on my plate right now, a lot of things I had to focus on. I needed to get my mind out of the gutter and on my goals.
I had four months to get my grades up. If I didn’t manage at least a B average this semester then I was fucked. I could kiss baseball and my entire future goodbye, all because I’d been an idiot.
Freshman year had been a breeze. My classes had been easy and I’d been a reliever so there wasn’t nearly as much pressure on me as an athlete. I’d gone to class, pitched a few innings a game and then partied like my life depended on it with the rest of the team. I’d maintained a 3.2 average, which was just above the minimum 2.9 to remain on the team, and I’d felt like I was at the top of the world.
Sophomore year had only been slightly different. Instead of being a reliever, coach had made me the closer so I’d still only pitched a couple of innings per game. I’d still gone to class and partied more than necessary. My grades had dropped to a 3.0 and coach had told me to pick up my socks.
You’d think I’d have listened to him, but last year had been rough. I’d moved into the starter spot so I worked my ass off at every game. I was hitting the gym six days a week, going to practice and then the games. My entire life from November until June was baseball, and I’d even gone to conditioning camp all summer to make sure I was in shape for this year because it was my banner year. I was a senior and this was the year the scouts would be looking at me.
I’d pulled awesome numbers last year and we’d made it to the D1 championships only to be knocked out in the eleventh inning of the finals.
I should be on top of the world, but shit was falling down around me.
I’d finished last year with a 2.8 average. As of right now I was ineligible for playing when we started in February. Coach was going to let me practice with the team but I had to pull my grades up to at least a 3.2 to even be allowed back on the team, and if I didn’t buckle down and prove to the coaches I was serious, then I’d spend my senior year as a backup pitcher hoping to get a few innings when all the other guys were played out.
That meant I had to cut out partying and focus on school. I had to hustle my ass and make sure I was in the best shape of my life. I had to get serious.
My teammates understood, they knew what it was like to have their dreams and future dangled in front of them and then potentially snatched away, but Hannah hadn’t.
We’d gotten together just before the season last year. We’d had a blast when I wasn’t training and had planned on living together this year. She’d found a place while I was at camp and I’d sent her my share of the money for everything so she could set us up while I was gone. My shit had been moved in and I’d had a home to come back to.
When I’d told her I’d have to get serious this year she’d been incredibly supportive, until she’d found out I might not get my starting spot back.
She hadn’t made a big deal out of it and I’d come home from camp and moved into the apartment I’d paid for but never seen. As I’d been unpacking my bag two days later I’d found men’s clothes in my drawers that weren’t mine.
Hannah had tried to play it off that I must have picked them up at the laundromat, but I’d known better. She’d finally admitted she’d been cheating on me with a football player, a starting cornerback.
I’d packed up my shit, loaded up my truck and left everything I’d paid for other than my TV, PS4 and games at the apartment. There was no fucking way in hell I was leaving those for some douchenozzle to enjoy.
I’d stayed with my buddy Kevin for about a week as I looked for somewhere to live and had found this place.
That was the sum of my last ten days, and now I had one semester to pull my grades up or I was done with baseball forever.
Chapter Three
Logan
Logan: coffee date later?
Avery: working today. Want to have a drink after my shift?
Logan: have I told you that you’re my favorite person lately?
Avery: lol not lately
Logan: well you are. Time?
Avery: off at 8
Logan: see you then. Tell matt I’ll walk you home
Avery: okie dokie
Logan: you’re too cute
Avery: that’s what I go for. Cute :(
Logan: cute is good
Avery: cute is for baby animals and toddlers
Logan: fine. You’re too awesomely amazing
Avery: better lol. See you at 8
Logan: <3
Avery: <3 xox
I tossed my phone aside and glanced at my computer.
I was feeling restless. I was meeting Jay at the gym in an hour and was at a complete loss of what to do. I didn’t feel like watching Netflix and couldn’t game. I was bored, and when I was bored I usually watched porn.
Adam was home, or at least I assumed he was. There was a part of me that felt weird watching porn in the middle of the day with my straight and new roommate home. Even with earbuds and my door locked it seemed strange, and that alone was strange.
I’d never had a problem jerking off before, no matter who was home. I could be stealthily quiet when I wanted to and had watched plenty of porn while my entire family was up and wandering around the house. I’d been doing it since I discovered what my dick was for and how to stream videos online, but right now it felt weird.
Instead I lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling.
Adam was...different. He seemed like a cool guy, especially when he’d told me he’d deal with any of his friends if they had issues with me. He was a lot different than what I’d assumed all student athletes were like, and I felt a bit bad for judging him.
If there was one thing I was used to it was being judged. When people found out I was gay they expected certain things from me, and for the most part I played it up. I’d had a few bad experiences, one really terrible one, but for the most part I’d been lucky. People accepted what I was, but that never stopped them from judging me based on the fact that I liked dick.
It was a shitty feeling, and I’d done it to Adam.
I’d talked about this very thing with all of my brothers. We were all judged for different reasons and none of us liked it. I guess that’s what made us all try so hard to accept everyone as they were.
Before my parents had adopted Matt he’d been sullen, angry, and determined to show the world his worst side in order to protect himself. I’d seen what a good guy he could be and worked my ass off gaining his trust so he’d let down his guard and open up. People had looked at him like he was a delinquent because he’d bounced around foster families and group homes for a few years before coming to live with us, and his attitude had made people treat him like he was damaged when he was the most sensitive guy I knew.
Jax and Jay had been younger when they’d come to live with us, but they had struggles I would never understand. They were Hispanic and had dealt with a lot of racism over the years. Add the fact they were also ado
pted and people made snap judgements about them. Jax was a typical guy who cared a little too much about the clothes he wore and his outward appearance, and then there was Jay. At sixteen Jay had gotten his first tattoo and now he had two half sleeves, side pieces and was in the process of getting a back piece. He also had his lip and nipples pierced. People looked at him and tended to think he was an asshole, but he was the sweetest and gentlest guy I knew.
To finish the lot there was me, the gay one.
Thankfully my family had been incredible when I’d come out to them at sixteen. I’d told Matt first, and he’d just hugged me and said it didn’t matter who I was attracted to I was still the same guy he called a brother. I’d told the twins next and Jax had shrugged and made a joke about there being less competition for the ladies, and Jay had asked if there was a guy I was crushing on.
When I’d told my parents they’d said they loved me no matter what, and Dad had even threatened to have a ‘stern talk’ with any guy who hurt me.
I was one of the lucky ones. I knew that, but I still felt alone.
I didn’t actually have any other gay friends. I’d met plenty gay guys since coming to school, had fucked a lot of them, but there was no one I clicked with. I did pretty well in the pick-up department, but not so much in the friend one.
Avery was my best friend, that was one stereotype I fell into, and then it was Matt and the twins. I had other friends, more than I really needed, but they were acquaintances. There were a lot of people I could go out and party with, but no one I could call if I needed help.
After three years of playing a part I was tired. But I didn’t want to think about that now. Right now I just wanted to relax before I went to the gym and punished the fuck out of my body.
* * * * *
“Heading out?” Adam asked when I emerged from my room with my gym bag. He was sitting on the couch playing on his phone.
“Hitting the gym with Jay.”
“A buddy?”
“One of my brothers.”
As I looked at him I could tell Adam wanted to say something more.
“Do you want to come with us?” I offered.
“You don’t mind?”
“Not at all. We’re doing a cardio day, though. I don’t know what your routine is like or anything.”
