by E. E. Cooper
Zach was glaring at me, wanting me to deny the whole thing, but I couldn’t. It was as if my lips were stapled shut. He ripped his hand out of mind and he pulled back from the table so quickly that his chair made a loud screeching noise on the floor. Before he bolted he looked at me and the pain in his eyes tore through me.
Brit giggled. “Oopsy. I thought he knew about you two.”
Jason was staring at me in shock. “You and Beth were hooking up?”
“Like all the time,” Brit said with a leer.
I sat on the edge of my chair trying to figure out if I should go after Zach or not. I wanted to smack the expression off of Brit’s face. She was making what Beth and I had had together sound dirty.
“Do you want me to talk to him?” Brit asked, her face turning serious. “I’ll feel terrible if he’s really upset. I swear I thought he knew or I wouldn’t have said anything.” She patted her forehead with a napkin. “It’s all the rum. It’s totally messed with my head.” Her eyes slid over to me, calculating.
“Don’t talk to him,” I said, getting up. “It needs to be me.” I thought about telling her that she’d done enough, but there was no need to say it aloud. She smiled up at me and I knew as clearly as if she whispered the words in my ear, each one trickling in like poison, that this was no casual slipup; this was a message, a threat.
I walked around the edge of the room trying to see if I could spot Zach, but he seemed to have disappeared. Even if I found him there wasn’t anything I was going to say or do to make it better. We weren’t dating now, but he’d believed I’d been faithful when were together. He’d never trust me again. Brit’s little slip of the tongue had cost me the one person I could count on.
Couples swirled past. Some faces I recognized, Tyler and his boyfriend Tomas. Amy and Stephen. Melissa and Grant. People from my classes and the halls were almost unrecognizable in fancy dresses and tuxedos. A group of Sara’s friends from band clustered near the stage. They turned away when they saw me.
There was a flash of dark hair as someone near the back twirled. Her dress, turquoise silk, had a full skirt that spun out. Her legs were long and lean, and you could see the line of muscles from her thighs, down her calves and then her small bare feet. My breath locked in my chest.
Beth.
I lurched toward the corner. The girl turned and instantly I realized it wasn’t Beth. As much as I wanted to believe in ghosts and spirits visiting from the great beyond, I knew it wasn’t really possible. Beth hadn’t appeared from beyond the veil, and if she could somehow transcend death, she wouldn’t waste her time coming to prom. I slid past people and stumbled out into the foyer.
I leaned with my head pressed against the window. The glass was cool against my hot skin. I felt clammy; my dress was a thick silk fabric, better suited to cooler weather. It was stuck to my skin with sweat.
A group of girls burst out of the bathroom, a cloud of perfume and laughter spilling out in front of them. I pressed against the wall and wished I were invisible. I stumbled and my ankle twisted to the side.
“Drunk, much?” I heard one girl whisper to the others, and they giggled again as they slipped back into the gym.
I heard the door open. “I thought I saw you go out here,” a voice said.
I flipped my hair back, my fingers snagging in the tangles of sticky hairspray, and there stood Officer Siegel in a simple black dress.
“You look nice,” I said.
Officer Siegel chuckled. “Try not to sound so surprised.”
“I came out here because I needed a minute away from all the noise and heat,” I explained.
She looked me up and down. “You’ve been drinking.”
“No, I haven’t,” I said quickly. That was about the only thing that would make this night worse: having her call my parents and bust me.
Her left eyebrow cocked in disbelief. “Okay, sure.” Office Siegel took me by the elbow and led me into the bathroom. I winced when I saw myself in the mirror. My hair looked matted and my eye makeup was smudged. The corsage Zach had given me drooped, pulling the fabric out of shape.
I repinned the flowers on my dress, looping them through my bra strap so they would stop flopping forward. I grabbed one of the rough brown paper towels, wet it, and then wiped the black smudges out from under my eyes. I ran water over my hands and then flipped my hair over my face, trying to scrunch some shape back into it.
Officer Siegel faced the mirror. She put on a fresh coat of lipstick. “Are you having fun?”
“It’s okay,” I said.
She wiped a tiny spot of lipstick off where it smudged below her lip. “I’m not interested in busting you. You’ve been through the wringer this year, but, kiddo, take this in the nicest way, you don’t look good, and in my experience drinking rarely makes anything better.”
I pretended a sudden interest in finding my lip balm buried in the bottom of my tiny clutch bag. I made a noncommittal noise.
Officer Siegel touched my shoulder. “I want to help.”
Her offer of kindness was like someone tearing off a scab over a wound, allowing the infection to spill out “It’s Britney. She’s . . .” I stumbled as I reached for her. “She’s evil,” I managed to get out. “She did it all. She’s responsible for everything.”
“Look, I agree there’s something off with her story—”
I flashed to when I had talked to Siegel outside of Brit’s hospital room. It was possible she would be my ally in this. “It’s more than her so-called lost memory. I think she was responsible for Beth.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “You think she pushed Beth into the water?”
“No, I don’t think it happened at the Point. That’s just her story, I’m almost sure of it. It’s complicated.” It was as if I were standing outside myself. A part of me knew I was doing this all wrong and was screaming for me to shut up. Officer Siegel was suspicious of Britney, but I needed to present my case carefully, logically. Instead I was slurring and talking about evil. As the words petered out, I looked at her face and knew I’d made a huge mistake.
Officer Siegel grabbed some more paper towels, wet them down, and passed them over to me. “Wash your face,” she said.
“You don’t believe me,” I said.
“This is a serious accusation,” she said, but she paused, considering it. “They teach us in the academy that the truth is usually the simplest answer. What you’re talking about is complicated.”
“But Brit is complicated,” I said.
“If you don’t like Britney, why did you come here with her?” Officer Siegel crossed her arms over her chest.
“You know what they say: keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” I said bitterly.
“You need to be careful,” she said.
A flicker of excitement lit up my chest. “You think she did something?” I said.
“What I think isn’t the issue. Do I think something is off about her story? Sure. Do I think she’s capable of what you’re talking about? Unlikely.”
She was about to say something when the door swooshed again. Britney stood there. My mouth shut with a click. Officer Siegel went back to freshening up her makeup as if nothing had happened. Brit paused for a second and then joined us at the sinks. She ran the cold water and pressed a wet paper towel to the back of her neck. She was still wearing her crown. It looked like it had always been there.
“You guys having a girl chat?” Britney giggled, but her laugh sounded forced.
“I got a bit dizzy,” I said. “I needed some air.”
“Looks like you’re doing better now,” Officer Siegel said. “Are you okay?” She didn’t look at Britney, but kept eye contact with me.
I nodded enthusiastically and then made myself slow down. The movement brought back another wave of nausea. “I’m fine. Just overheated,” I said.
Britney plopped a soaked paper towel on my forehead. The water dripped on my dress. It would probably leave a spot. “Not everyone gets a queen a
s her own personal nurse,” she teased.
“If you’re not feeling well, I can call your parents. I’m sure they’d pick you up,” Officer Siegel offered.
“No thanks, I’m fine now.”
She held my gaze for a beat and then snapped her clutch shut. “All right. I’d better get back out there.”
“I sure appreciate you offering to give your evening to volunteer as a chaperone,” Brit said. Her words were polite, but there was something about the way she said them that seemed to drip superiority. Condescension came naturally to Brit. “We really benefit from having mentors like you.”
Officer Siegel smiled, but her eyes were flat. “No problem. Happy to help.”
After Officer Siegel left, Britney held up her finger to her lips, motioning for me to be silent. She quickly crossed the room and flung the door open. I could tell she expected to see Officer Siegel with her ear pressed against it, but the foyer was empty.
My heart was fluttering in my chest like a trapped bird. Had she heard me talking to Siegel? My skin was tingling like every nerve in my system was on high alert, ready to shove Brit aside and run for safety.
“What did she want?” Brit asked.
“Um, nothing,” I mumbled.
Brit raised one eyebrow in disbelief. “I heard you guys arguing.”
My mind spun, trying to come up with a story, and then it clicked into place. “She accused me of drinking,” I said.
Brit turned around as if she thought Siegel might be sneaking up on her. “Did you say where you got it? Do you know what they would do if they caught me with booze? I could lose my crown.”
“I know,” I said peevishly. Did she think I was stupid? “I told her she was wrong, that I didn’t have anything.”
“Stand by the door,” Britney told me. Once I had it blocked, she pulled out her flask. She spun the top, took one more sip, and then poured the rest down the drain. “I knew we shouldn’t have brought anything into the dance. We should have left it in the limo. Do you still have any?”
I nodded. “She didn’t search my bag.”
“Thank god. Stupid cow.” Brit held out her hand and I passed her my flask. She dumped it and filled it with water from the tap to make sure there wasn’t a drop left. Her crown tilted and she pushed it back. “Jesus, could they have made this thing any larger?”
She was trying to sound annoyed, but she loved it.
“Congrats again, by the way,” I said, motioning to the giant tiara.
“My mom is going to lose it when she sees the picture. Did you know she was prom queen when she was in high school?”
I shook my head, but I wasn’t surprised. Brit likely came from a long line of prom queens dating back to some distant period during the Renaissance when they actually were royalty.
“I think the news about Beth’s scholarship will make some of the national papers,” Brit said. She kept talking about how she would have told me about the announcement, but had wanted it to be a surprise. I knew the truth, she made the announcement now because it gave her a chance to grab the media attention yet again, this time while dressed to the nines.
“Earth to Kalah.”
I snapped back to the bathroom. Brit was waiting for a response. “Sorry,” I mumbled.
“It’s a good thing I cut you off from the rum; you’re out of it,” Brit said. “I was saying that we should get the limo driver to take us down to the beach.”
The idea that there were still hours and hours to go made me exhausted. All this time spent with Brit was building up, burying me under layers of brittle glass. Every second I spent with her smiling in her face, pretending to buy her lies, and holding myself back from launching at her face, nails pointed at her eyes, was pushing me toward the breaking point.
“Kah-bear!” Brit snapped her fingers millimeters from my face. “Seriously, focus. Are you about ready to go?”
“I don’t feel too great. Maybe I should just go home.” I’d been stupid to think my lame plan was going to accomplish anything other than ticking her off.
“Don’t be absurd. No one goes home this early on prom night.”
“I don’t know—” I hedged.
“I do know. I refuse to let you ruin prom. If you go home, I might as well call your parents and announce you had too much to drink,” Brit smiled.
Was she joking or threatening me? I paused, but she didn’t say anything else. “Okay, let’s go,” I said.
Brit looked down at my feet. “Gross.” The back of my ankle was bleeding where a blister had burst and then chafed the flesh raw. The fact I’d told her hours ago that I wanted to take my shoes off seemed to not even register. She pulled a strip of Band-Aids out of her bag and passed them over to me. “Lucky for you, you’re with me.”
CHAPTER NINE
I was lying in Brit’s trundle bed, exhausted but fighting to stay awake. Sunlight was peeking around the edges of Britney’s thick curtains. After prom we’d gone to the beach until the just before dawn. Jason and his teammates had made a giant bonfire and brought stuff to make s’mores, along with more booze.
Zach hadn’t come with us. He must have left right after Brit told him the news. I tried sending him a text, but he didn’t respond. I wanted to go over to his house and explain, but there was no excuse. I shook off the fact that Zach was now pulled into my scandal. There wasn’t time for me to be distracted by him. All I had wanted to do was pass out, but I had to wait for Brit to fall asleep.
“So what do you think was the best part?” Brit asked, her voice floating down to me in the dim light.
The last thing I wanted to do was have a blow-by-blow replay of the evening. It had been bad enough living through it the first time. “I don’t know,” I mumbled.
“I was shocked when they called my name for queen,” Brit said.
“Really?” Did she expect me to believe that? She must have known the crown was hers. Who else was going to beat out the girl who’d returned from the dead?
“I guess it wasn’t really a shock,” Brit admitted. “I was pretty sure I’d win, but I thought it would be this amazing thing, but at the end of the day the crown is still just some cheap beauty-contest tiara. I guess I imagined it better—I don’t know, more,” she added. “It was exciting for a minute or two, but then it was almost a letdown.” Her voice was flat.
“I think the older I get, the harder it gets to impress me,” I said.
Brit leaned over the side of the bed, her smooth blond hair hanging on either side of her face, and looked down on me. “Exactly! Like there was all this stuff that I was always sure would be amazing, and it’s good, but it’s not really anything special.”
“I guess that’s life,” I said.
“I don’t accept that. I think life should be amazing. You only get to do it once, right?” Brit’s voice swelled with intensity. “It seems like you should spend the time you have doing what makes you happy. I’m going to have a life that matters. . . .”
Brit was still talking about her theory on the purpose of life, but I stopped listening closely and instead I slid my foot out from under the covers and put it on the floor, trying to stop the bed spins that came on every time I closed my eyes. I was never going to drink rum again.
“The thing is I feel like I’m supposed to do something amazing. Why would I have the desire to be great if my destiny was to be just another nobody?”
The sound of Britney’s voice was oddly soothing. If she was sure her destiny was to be great, then what was mine? I’d been sure it was to find justice for Beth, but every time I tried it my life seemed to slide further down. Maybe the universe was trying to tell me something. Could I do that? Could I just let go of what happened? Chalk it up to a horrible thing, but something that was in the past? I knew what I was planning to do was risky and there was no guarantee that it would even work.
I was pretty sure Brit knew I had some suspicions about her story but was also sure I couldn’t prove anything. It wasn’t just that she didn’
t want the truth dragged up; she wanted me as her friend. As long as I never stabbed her in the back or questioned her story, she would be there for me. Brit was loyal like that, until you crossed her.
I turned my pillow over to find a cool side and made a noncommittal noise to Brit, who was still talking about her life. I wished she would just shut up.
“Are you asleep?” Brit whispered.
I jolted. I must have started to drift off. “No,” I said. I pinched a thin sliver of skin on my thigh between my nails and focused on the pain to wake myself up.
“I’m sorry about Zach,” Brit said softly. “I hope he didn’t ruin prom for you.”
I noted that she didn’t apologize for being the one who’d told Zach. I suspected she felt that was something she had to do to teach me a lesson, but at the same time she felt bad that it happened. Sort of like a parent who regrets having to spank a kid. “It’ll be okay,” I said, although I wasn’t sure that was true. Zach would forgive a lot, but this betrayal may have been too much.
“Zach was never good enough for you. I tried to tell you that.”
“You’d think I’d know to listen.”
Brit laughed softly. “Did you see Sara’s friends storm off after Jason and I were crowned?” Brit snorted. “They shouldn’t allow sophomores at prom. They’re like children.”
“I didn’t see Sara at all,” I said.
“She didn’t have the guts to show her face. Most likely she was sitting at home crying into a giant bowl of ice cream.”
“She’ll probably gain ten pounds before the summer starts,” I added. I felt bad mocking Sara, but I knew it was expected of me.
“I need you to help me with something,” Brit said. She swung her head over the side of the bed again. Her eyes were bright even in the dim light.
“Sure, whatever,” I said.
“I’m going to get Sara. Make her pay for what she did.”
The muscles across my shoulders and up into my neck tensed. “You’ve got Jason back; what else do you need?”
Brit’s nostrils flared. “She screwed with me. That was a huge mistake. I mean, the fucking arrogance of her.”
