by Lucia Franco
My dream had come true.
I made it to the Olympics.
I'd never forget the way Coach Elena had pronounced my name in the small waiting room in her thick Romanian accent to tell me I'd made the Olympic gymnastics team as a specialist for bars and vault, and possibly floor. I practically fainted. Kova was immediately at my side joking that I was in shock and hugged me to him. I was in shock and I couldn't stop crying. My hands had been shaking and I was a huge ball of feelings. Luckily, I hadn’t been the only one like that. The others named had reacted the same. We all wanted our name to be called, but the real possibility of that was so slim. Being the oldest named to the team with a slew of health issues that were kept under wraps, the odds were not in my favor. Still, I had been optimistic and tried so hard.
My gaze met the two other girls—my new teammates. We all had the same pink rimmed eyes and puffy cheeks from happy tears. Once the final girl was called after I was, and then the two alternates, we stood in a straight line next to each other.
It wasn't real. It had to be a dream.
"Give another round of applause for your 2020 women’s gymnastics team!" the announcer said enthusiastically, and the crowd erupted.
Flashes from multiple cameras flickered in front of my face. We raised our wrapped bouquets of flowers in the air as red, white, and blue paper confetti exploded from the ceiling. The national anthem played in the distance. Streamers crisscrossed the air above us. I glanced up and smiled as the colors fell around us like snow. It was the coolest thing ever that I giggled to myself. I couldn't believe I'd made it. I was still in shock.
The men's team, who'd been selected earlier, were welcomed to the stage. We all exchanged hugs under the blowing confetti and congratulated each other. Group pictures were taken, then we were finally disbursed to find our loved ones and coaches.
I walked over to Madeline and gave her a massive bear hug. She was like a proud parent and that made me feel so good to know I made her happy. There were tears in her throat as she sang her praise. Happiness burst through me. She worked with me just as hard as Kova did. She earned this too.
One of the people from the committee came over to speak to Madeline. Just before she left, she looked up and spotted someone behind me. Brows creased between her eyes, she pointed at me, nodded her head, then quickly turned away. It was chaos on the floor and she was gone in the blink of an eye.
I turned around, and through the people crisscrossing in front of me, I realized she was talking to Kova.
Our eyes locked, and something clicked into place. I weaved through the crowd, my feet carting me to him automatically.
Without a care in the world, Kova got down on one knee and I walked straight into his arms. I cried again. His strength I'd needed to get to this point embraced me immediately. Kova gave me a real hug. His hand cupped the back of my neck and his fingers gently pressed into my skin. I drew in a breath, and softly let go, crying into his neck. I'd—we'd—been through so much for this moment, and I wanted to live in it with him for as long as I could. My heart felt full as he held me to his chest.
"Malysh, pozdravlyayu," he said over and over only for me to hear. When I'd finally caught my breath, he said, "Let us find your father." I nodded.
Releasing me, Kova looked at my face. We were eye level. He used his thumbs to wipe away my tears, then without thinking, he took my hand and guided me to where Dad and Sophia were standing. The moment I spotted my parents, I blindly handed Kova my bouquet and then ran to the tall wall that separated the athletes and coaches from the fans.
My father’s eyes were glossy, which caused my lips to tremble again. He was beaming from ear to ear like he was going to burst. Saying he was ecstatic was an understatement. I'd never seen a smile like that on his face, one that screamed how proud he was of me and that he loved me. He held his arms open, waiting. I jumped on the white folding chair against the wall with one foot to reach him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. My eyes closed. He hugged me like he never wanted to let go. His back shook as he squeezed me, and his head was in the curve of my neck. I could hear the clicking from the cameras next to us and my name being called. I felt his hot breath as he released his emotions. Dad gave me a long hug. Despite all the despair we'd both endured lately, none of that was a thought in our minds. It was all forgotten as we celebrated this uphill battle together.
Dad pulled back and that was when I realized he'd shed a few tears himself. My eyes watered. I softened even more.
"Adrianna, I can't believe it!" He laughed somewhere between being happy and filled with so much emotion that he clearly wasn't used to. "I was on the edge of my seat waiting. Congratulations, sweetie! I can't believe it!"
I grinned. Dad was in shock.
"Thanks, Dad."
"How do you feel?"
I shrugged, the massive smile still decorating my face. "I think I'm in shock. I don't really know what to feel yet."
"I'm so proud of you. This is by far the best day of my life. Well, the best day since you and your brother were born."
Giggling, I glanced to my right and caught sight of Sophia. She wore a bittersweet expression that made my heart hurt a little. I stepped onto the next chair and reached for her. She embraced me immediately and I felt the same thing with her as I did when I hugged my dad. Her back was vibrating with feelings.
"Congratulations, Adrianna," she said ever so softly. "I'm sorry for crying," she said, and I laughed lightly.
"It's okay. Thank you," I said in return, smiling sweetly.
I used the back of my hand to wipe under my eyes. I was sure my mascara was leaking everywhere but I didn't really care. Sophia straightened her back while Dad stepped closer to her side. He wrapped an arm around her petite shoulders, pulling her to him. She went willingly. I watched with a gentle smile as they looked at each other like honored parents. Their eyes glistened and my heart felt the longing between them. Sophia closed her eyes as Dad leaned in to kiss her temple. It was so sweet that I stared at them, unable to look away.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Madeline walk over to us and speak to Kova. Behind her, the confetti still floated like something out of a fairy tale. Kova stepped back and gave Madeline a deep nod, then turned to me. She strode away with a clipboard secured to her side.
"We have to go. You are required to take team photos and do an interview with the news station."
I glanced at Dad and Sophia. "I have to go—"
"Go," he said with a nod of his chin. "We'll see you guys for dinner tonight."
I was momentarily caught off guard. Dad answered my questioning gaze.
His eyes glistened with love despite everything. "Dinner with you and your coaches. Both of them."
My nostrils flared as I fought to keep the tears at bay. Flattening my lips, my jaw trembled as my vision blurred. I was overcome with heartfelt gratitude. He didn't have to do that. Dad was extending an olive branch and I respected the hell out of him for that. My heart was pounding so hard. I was relieved this wasn't as tense as I thought it might be. I gave Dad one last goodbye hug, then I climbed down from the chair and turned around and met Kova's emotive gaze.
"Adrianna will be back later," Kova said to Dad.
My eyes widened. That caught me by surprise. I hadn't seen them exchange more than two words since we flew here.
"She has obligations for the team that must be met before she leaves tomorrow," Kova added.
Dad's expression gave nothing away. I knew it wasn't easy for him to speak to Kova, let alone look at him, but he was, and he was doing it for me.
Agreeing, Dad smiled and applauded me one last time.
"Let us go."
Kova opened his palm up to me and I took it without another thought. We walked through the flurry of confetti together toward the double doors with smiles etched on our faces.
There was no turmoil, no heartache, no secrets.
It was just us, together, living my dream.
Twenty-Two
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The interview ended up being a lot of fun.
We giggled and smiled the entire time. Our coaches watched nearby but they spoke amongst themselves. I was sure none of us even made sense half the time when we responded to the questions, but the reporters went along with it anyway. There was a blanket of euphoria in the air. Nothing could ruin the biggest moment in the world for me.
Once we were finished, we were ushered into a room for hair and makeup and given new matching leotards. A photographer came in and we were staged and prepped, taking what had to be hundreds of team pictures to use for promo. We tried acting serious and tough, but we were really laughing and giggling the whole time.
There were butterflies in my stomach. My heart was filled with so much joy that I couldn't stop smiling. Happiness was an understatement and I was sure anyone could see that within a five-mile radius. I wasn't the only one who felt this way either. Each of us wore matching expressions and had shaky fingers. We shined and glowed and laughed like we'd been best friends since we were toddlers.
This was, without a doubt, the best day of my life. I never wanted it to end.
Now I was back in my hotel room repacking my belongings to drop them off in Dad's suite before dinner. I still couldn't get over the fact that my dad was going to have dinner with both of my coaches. He was doing it for me, but I was curious to see how he'd be able to sit there without wanting to strangle Kova.
My cell phone rang, and I smiled to myself and quickly zipped up my bag. I walked to the dresser where my phone was charging. I assumed it was Avery, but when I picked up my phone, I saw a name I hadn't seen in a really long time.
My heart froze. The smile vanished from my face. I was stuck, staring at the screen, wondering if I was imagining things.
Mom’s cell
Joy?
Why was she calling me? Creases formed between my eyes and my pulse accelerated as I stared at the name on the screen. I hadn't spoken to Joy since that awful Easter day, and before then, it had been so far and few in between that I couldn’t recall when she'd reached out. My first thought was that something had happened to Xavier.
Hesitantly, I accepted the call and brought the phone to my ear.
"H… Hello?"
"Ana."
I cringed. My eyes closed. I hadn't heard that nickname in ages. I'd always hated the way it felt on my skin when she said it, and hearing it again brought a flood of emotion back to me.
"Hi," I said softly. "How are you? Is everything okay?"
"I'm well, thank you for asking. Are you available right now?"
I frowned. "Well, I'm actually at a gymnastics competition right now so—"
"I'm aware." She was curt, then she cleared her throat. "I'm here too and thought I would see if you have a free moment before I have to leave for the airport."
My stomach sank and my frown deepened. "What? You're here?"
Paranoia instantly enveloped me. I was literally across the country and Joy flew to the Trials when I hadn't seen her or spoken to her in months?
That was uncharacteristic of her.
My first thought was that she had a motive. While Joy had been the doting mother attending practices and meets, it'd been a façade and a deal she'd secretly made with my dad. She’d considered me a chore, and once I’d discovered the truth, she stopped caring altogether, which was why I found it so nerve-wracking she was here at all.
"I can stop by your room," she suggested.
I nodded as if she could see me, I was still stunned. "Ah, okay. Do you know which hotel I'm at?" Joy said she did, and that she was actually in the same hotel.
"I'll be there shortly," she said after I gave her my room number, then she hung up.
I stood motionless, staring at my cell phone wondering what twilight zone I was living in that warranted a call and an appearance from Joy thousands of miles away like this. She had never come to see me when I lived in Cape Coral, so this visit was an extremely peculiar one.
Quickly, I shot a text to Avery telling her Joy was stopping by and I'd fill her in when I got back home. At least she'd know about me if anything happened. Not that I expected anything would go awry, but seeing Joy put me on edge and caused a severe bout of anxiety to rush through my veins.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on my door. I gave myself a little power talk and then expelled a breath before walking across the room. I reached for the knob, and my spine stiffened as I opened the heavy hotel room door. Joy stood on the other side dressed in a white sleeveless body-fitting dress with matching high heels. She wore a rich navy-blue knee-length coat.
Hard eyes stared back at me. "Hello, Ana."
"Hi," was all I said. "Come in."
Joy stepped inside with her clutch gripped between her fingers. She slowly glanced around the room, her eyes taking in every square inch. I licked my drip lips and shut the door. When I turned around, Joy was sitting in a chair at the little table near the window. I walked over and took the seat opposite, regarding her with confusion as I faced her. Her blond hair was flawlessly styled, but her face seemed different…tighter. Like she'd gotten more Botox in her forehead and cheeks.
"I'm surprised to see you," I said.
She placed her purse on the round table and expressed an exaggerated sigh. "Contrary to what you or your father might think, I do care about you."
My brows shot up. I could easily refute that statement with plenty of examples, but I chose not to. There was a reason she made an appearance, and I needed to know why.
"How long have you been here?"
"I flew in two days ago."
"Two days ago? Why didn't you call sooner?"
She lifted her shoulders in a nonchalant shrug like she couldn’t be bothered. "We haven't seen each other in a while. I remembered the rules about parents not visiting before a meet, and I knew how important this competition was for you." She paused. "Congratulations on making the team. I have to say, I'm surprised. You've come a long way, and seeing you perform was…an experience." She grew quiet as she observed me. Her eyes were a little misty. "You really did it," she said, a small smile tried to tug on her over plumped lips. "You made it to the Olympics. I thought it was just a dream that all little girls have, but you made it happen. They say when you're stubborn enough anything is possible."
My eyes widened, brows angling toward each other. Stubborn enough to put my health on the line for it.
"You were there? You watched? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I've been to all your big meets over the year. I just didn't tell you."
My lips parted. "But why? Why wouldn't you? You're my mom."
Her eyes flared with a mixture of sadness and regret. "You shouldn't call me that. I'm not your mother. I did try, though. It may not seem like it, but I did."
She looked away. Her guilt hit me square in the chest. I wouldn't say she didn't try, because she had, it was just toward the end that her heart had hardened and her dislike for me became transparent. To Joy, I was the reason she and Dad split up.
"I'm not equipped to be a mother." Her voice splintered with emotion as she looked back at me. "I never wanted kids, let alone wanted raise another woman's child, one who was the product of an affair my husband had, no less. But I tried for Frank because I loved him. I even gave him a son before you came along. I would've given him anything if only he could’ve stayed faithful to me."
I pulled back, my chest was tight with hostility. I couldn't disguise the hurt etched on my face. Callous words from a callous woman. She never wanted to be a mother. Who said that to the child they raised? She was the only mother I'd ever known, yet she'd completely discarded me in the blink of an eye.
Taking a deep breath, I shook my head. I couldn't stop the words from flying from my mouth. "Other than to remind me how unwanted I am, why are you here? I know what you did. Dad told me everything. Is that why you've been to the meets and didn't tell me?"
Joy stilled. "Well, if you weren't sleeping with your coach, then
I never would've had to do anything."
"You told him out of selfishness and not out of concern for me. You did it to get back at him and nothing else."
She looked me dead in the eyes. "I did. There's no reason for me to lie, but I did. Little did I know what my PI would find once I hired him. I was appalled, disgusted by what he found out about you and Konstantin."
"But why? Why did you go to the length that you did?"
"Regardless, Frank needed to know what was happening. Konstantin was his friend."
"That's not why. You used me as blackmail to get what you wanted."
Joy was quiet. She stared out the window again and it bothered me that I felt bad for her. No, I didn't feel bad. I pitied her. She could wear all the makeup she wanted, but it wasn't going to hide the melancholy that flickered too often in her gaze. The fine lines around her eyes and mouth were taut with anguish. She went with her claws out taunting Dad with evidence to get what she wanted out of him for feeling so deceived. Only she hadn’t thought it through, and her plan bombed on her.
"I guess that saying rings true," she said more to herself. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," she said with a fleeting smirk. "I'm sorry I couldn't love you the way a child needed to be loved. It wasn't fair of me to try when I knew all along I never wanted to be a mother in the first place. I sometimes wonder if that's why Xavier behaves in the manner he does…" Her quiet voice trailed off. "You're finally getting what you wanted, though. Frank and I are officially divorced."
My head tilted to the side. I frowned, offended she could ever think that was what I wanted.
"That's not what I wanted. I never wanted that. All I ever wanted was for you to want me the way a mother is supposed to want her child. To be happy for me and not pick on me for every little thing I did. To support me and not body shame me. I tried so hard, but nothing was ever good enough for you no matter what I did. Do you have any idea what that did to me?"
Chest rising and falling, my emotions were getting the best of me and I didn't want to give her that. She didn't deserve my tears anymore. She didn't deserve to see me in pain ever again. I think she'd enjoy that even though her guilty body language and remorse was plain as day.
