by Melissa West
“Sounds good. We’ll be eating in an hour.”
Kylie took her phone and went upstairs, started the shower, and prepared to allow the water to help her sort out her thoughts, when a text came through.
Brady: I’m not with Valerie.
Her heart sped up at the text, everything the text might mean swirling through her mind. Should she say good? Should she admit that she was relieved? Should she ask what she was doing with him then?
No, no, and more no.
Slowly, she picked up the phone, started texting, then deleted it, set it back down and paced around the bathroom. She picked it up again, texted and deleted. Then did it again. She set the phone down hard on the counter. “Ugh! I should just call him.”
Siri spoke up. “Calling Brady Cell.”
Her eyes widened. “No, no, no. No calling Brady’s cell.” Kylie went for the phone, but it slipped out of her grasp and hit the bathroom floor. She scrambled for it, only to pick it up and see that, in fact, Siri had called him.
“Hello? Ky?”
Crap, crap, crap.
“Um, hey. Sorry, Siri called you on accident.”
“Siri called me.” She could hear the humor in his voice.
“Exactly.”
“Not you. Siri.”
“That’s what I said. You know that happens all the time.”
The smile in his voice made her wish she was there with him instead of Valerie. “Of course it does. To you.”
“Hey! Not just to me. You’re telling me that’s never happened to you?”
“Not once. But I have—wait, is that the shower running in the background?”
Kylie cringed. “Yes. I was about to get in the shower when you called.”
“You mean when you called.”
“No, when Siri called.”
“Riiight.”
She smiled. God it felt good to talk to him.
“Anyway, sorry Siri bothered you. You can get back to whatever you were doing.” Please don’t let it be who you were doing.
“Ky.”
“It’s okay, really.”
“Is it? Really?” He waited, and Kylie contemplated whether to say what she felt or what she should feel. Which was what exactly? She was so confused.
“I just want you to be happy,” she said finally. “That’s all I ever wanted.”
“Right,” he said, and Kylie closed her eyes in anger at herself. Why couldn’t she just tell him that no, it wasn’t all right. None of this was all right. Because they were supposed to be together, he was supposed to be with her and only her. But she couldn’t.
“Okay, well, enjoy your Thanksgiving. I better get back,” she said.
“To your shower.”
“Exactly.”
“Quite an image you’re leaving me with there,” he said, turning playful, and Kylie released a slow breath. God, she loved him. That was the truth. She loved him, had never stopped, the feeling so intense it was difficult to even think it, but there it was and there it had always been.
“Bye, Brady,” she said with a smile. “Will I see you tomorrow?”
“You will. Are you planning to hit up Target for the toy?”
“Later today. They open at five, so I’ll be there with bells on.”
“All right then. Be safe…and warm. See you tomorrow,” he said, then the call ended and Kylie forced herself to set her phone back down.
It was time she had a heart-to-heart with herself and her fears. Brady may not be offering her anything right now, but he was taking a small step. Could she forgive their past enough to meet him halfway?
Chapter 10
Brady parked out back of Southern Dive at five a.m. on Black Friday, prepared to say a quick hello to his brother Charlie, who was manning the main shop, while he held down things at ETC.
He’d been out until one a.m. the night before, trying to find one of those robotic dolls for Ally’s kid, all to come up empty.
Target was his first stop, then Walmart, then Kohl’s and CVS, and he even went to Ace Hardware just to see, but all they did was look at him like he was insane. Which, clearly, he was.
A part of him wanted to call Kylie and ask if she’d had any luck, but then he didn’t want to tell her that he was looking, too. Admitting that hinted at him caring about things he shouldn’t care about, and threw serious doubt on the being-over-Kylie image he attempted to present to anyone who would half listen.
He hadn’t even intended to search for the toy. It was all an accident, after his sister, Kate, asked if he needed her to look for anything while she was out shopping. At first, he’d immediately said no, then it occurred to him that he did have something in mind, and the rest was six-hour-long shopping spree history.
To be honest, he wasn’t sure what he would do if he found the doll. Wrap it and do the anonymous thing? Tell Kylie that he found it, then deal with the question of why he was looking? And then he’d be forced to reveal the truth: that he wanted to see her face light up when he delivered. That for him, everything always circled back to her.
But then that was stupid, and it didn’t matter anyway―he couldn’t find the damn thing.
“Lifesaver,” Charlie said, as Brady passed over the cup of coffee he’d brought him.
“Heard you got roped into shopping with Kate. You know how she is, if you stay too long after dinner, you’ll always end up being her shopping partner. Nobody wants any part of that. Why you think Alex always drives separately?”
Brady laughed. “Yeah, well, had a little shopping of my own this year, so thought I might as well help her while I was at it.”
The truth was it had been fun, and it had been a long time since he’d spent any alone time with his sister. Of course, he used the time to feel out her thoughts on Kylie, because though Charlie was the shrink of the family, Kate was always the most direct. If she said he should walk, then he should. Whether he did it or not was another thing altogether.
But Kate hadn’t told him to walk. Or at least, she hadn’t told him to walk away. She told him to take it slow, and then, if he was sure, one-hundred-percent sure, that Kylie was the one, to lay it all on the line and hope for the best.
“You tired or distracted?” Charlie said.
“Little of both.”
“Kylie?”
Brady hesitated. He’d never been one to hold back his thoughts on anything, but at the same time, he didn’t want to hear all the reasons he was sure to get screwed. Kylie had trust issues and security issues and probably other issues that all meant she would never truly open up and might always feel the need to pull away.
But there had been a time when she believed him when he said he loved her more than life itself, that she would always come first, and that he would never leave her.
And then he did.
Though he hadn’t ended their relationship, looking back on it, he could see why his decision to go to college halfway across the country could read as abandonment. For him, it was just another adventure, another opportunity for them to go somewhere together. He assumed she would want to go, too. But he’d been foolish and selfish and every other word to describe a seventeen-year-old who thought of himself above everyone else. Worse, he thought they’d do the long distance thing, but he never considered that she would shut down, that she would walk away and never look back.
“You don’t have to talk about her if you don’t want to,” Charlie said finally. “But I’m here if you need anything, and if I can say one thing?”
Brady glanced over at his brother. “Of course.”
“I know firsthand how badly it sucks to love someone and feel like you can’t be with her. If you love her, if you want her…then do whatever you got to do. Trust yourself to know what’s best for you and what you can take. And then trust yourself enough to know when to walk away if that�
��s the right thing to do.”
Nodding slowly now, Brady looked at the ground.
“Right.”
“I’m not trying to go the negative route, ’cause I think this could work for you two this time. You’re both back in town, you’re both more settled. It’s a good time to see what could happen. I just don’t want you to go dark like you did last time.”
Brady nodded again, unable to say anything. He hadn’t realized at the time how much he’d withdrawn from the family after Kylie left. He thought he had covered up his feelings. Apparently, he was delusional.
“Just looking out for you, little brother. You know you’re my favorite.”
This time Brady smiled, because he did know this, but Charlie rarely said it. “Likewise, man. I appreciate it, truly. But I’m okay. I’ve got this under control.”
He hoped.
“All right, gotta head over there and get things started up. Give me a yell if you need extra hands on this side.”
Charlie waved him on. “I’ve got this. See ya later.”
They said good-bye, and Brady made his way to Merrily Christmas. The small sign for Southern Dive & ETC stood just outside the door, but today, the wooden santa is here! sign had been propped up against it, hiding the company name from view. A few weeks ago, this would have started a fight, but today, instead of arguing, Brady found himself adjusting the Santa sign for better view by people passing by.
He smiled a little at the tiny reindeer cut into the wood and how angry Mike must have been to be asked to do it. His gaze drifted up to look inside the windows, and that was when he zeroed in on Kylie, pacing in front of Ally, her hands tossing in the air and then covering her face before repeating the sequence all over again.
“What, did Santa not show?” he asked from the door. She turned to look at him, her eyes wide in panic. “Shit. Your Santa didn’t show.”
Her hands flew into the air again. “He didn’t show! What kind of Santa doesn’t show? I booked him ages ago and I called and there’s no one else. Every other Santa with the service is booked and I’ve been advertising this thing in the paper for weeks and I had Mike make that sign and Annie-Jean has been giving out flyers at the bakery and everyone knows. And oh my God, the kids. The kids are going to come here expecting to see Santa and give their lists and be happy, but instead, they’re going to be told there is no Santa today. Which, you know, will just make them wonder if there really is no Santa at all, because Santa would surely show, but he’s not here, so that must mean—”
Brady was to her in three long steps. He placed his hands on her small shoulders and bent down so they were eye to eye. “Breathe. This isn’t death. We’ll figure something out.”
“It kind of is, though. Santa’s death. At least in our store.”
“Girl, you did not just say Santa’s death,” Ally said coming around. “And anyway, I’ve got an idea.”
Kylie glanced over at her as though all the hope in the world rested on her idea. Ally took a step back, and Brady fought the urge to laugh. It was a lot of pressure to see that hope in Kylie’s eyes and know you were the sole one to help keep it there. “Well, go on.”
“All right, but you’re scaring me a bit. Maybe breathe, like Mr. Hottie here said.”
Brady grinned. “I could get used to that name.”
Waving a hand at him to hush, Ally continued. “I have a Santa costume at home. My husband dressed up one year at his office, and we forgot to return the thing. Anyway, I can go get it.”
“But then what? Who can play Santa?”
Ally’s grinned turned to Brady and it was his turn to take a step back. “No way. No freaking way will you get me into a Santa getup.”
“But you have to. We don’t have anyone else. It’s Black Friday. People are going to be here any second, and the Santa visit starts in an hour. I’ll cover your side of the shop while Franny covers ours and Kylie manages your crowd. We can do this if you help. You don’t want to be responsible for kids crying on Christmas, now do you?”
He deadpanned. “It’s not Christmas.”
“Same difference.”
Brady ran his hands over his face and forced himself to look over at Kylie, but he already knew what he would find there. She was watching him, chewing her thumbnail, the word please written across her face. “I can’t believe I’m going to do this.”
“You’ll do it?” She grabbed his hands and started jumping up and down, and any debate about it was over. Damn, why couldn’t he tell this woman no?
“You are going to owe me big for this. Like a year’s worth of owing. I’m starting my list today.”
She nodded along. “Absolutely. Whatever you want, I’ll do it. Name it and it’s yours. Just please help me here. Please.”
* * * *
Kylie stared at the man who captured her heart that night in an art studio, when her parents both forgot her birthday and she was feeling like a ghost of a person. He smiled to cheer her up and then insisted they go out, and little did he know, he saved her that day. She laughed for the first time in a long time, and suddenly her aching heart had a new reason to ache―this time for a boy.
A jock, of all types of boys.
A boy so far out of her league she was surprised he was even talking to her.
And yet, he seemed just as taken by her.
It took no time for her to say she loved him. She said it first, because she couldn’t for the life of her keep it inside any more. It took him longer, and for a beat, she worried that he was pulling back, when he bought her a small heart necklace, gave it to her, and said the words she had longed to hear.
“What do you say, Brady? Save me one more time, for old time’s sake?”
A slow smile curved his lips and his eyes cut over to Ally. “Fine, go get it, but y’all can forget me saying ‘ho, ho, ho.’”
The women laughed and Ally went in to hug him while Kylie watched, her eyes connected with his as she mouthed thank you.
“Just add it to the list.”
She scoffed. “List?”
Ally ran out the door to go to her house and grab the Santa costume, and Brady made his way over to his side of the shop, Kylie following behind. She knew even before he turned that he was grinning in that almost laughing way.
“What list?”
He crossed his arms and leaned his hip against his counter. “You know, the list of all the times I’ve bailed you out and all the ways I feel you should make it up to me.”
“Wait a second. You’ve decided how I should say thanks? What kind of nonsense is that? I’ll make this up to you.”
“Oh, yeah? How?” He started for her, each step making it harder and harder for her to breathe.
Kylie tucked her hair behind her ears and prayed it wasn’t obvious that her heart was beating out of control. “What do you want?”
He stopped inches from her and peered down. “I have a few things in mind.”
“Like.”
“Like…” Brady dropped his head toward hers, his eyes darting up to check for permission, when Franny came bustling in from the back.
“I swear to God people are insane. I tried to do a little shopping this morning, trying to pick up a gift for Ally’s daughter Rena, and was ran over by a shopping cart. You should have seen these―” Franny stopped short, like she was just seeing them for the first time. A bright smile split her face. “I’m sorry. Didn’t realize I was interrupting something.”
Kylie took a deliberate step back, her focus on anything but Brady, and she wanted to scream at herself. Even though she’d only made that one move, she was running again. She could feel it. “You weren’t interrupting anything.”
“Right. You weren’t,” Brady said, his tone clear. He was disappointed in her, but his disappointment was nothing compared to her own. Why couldn’t she take a leap of faith? Why couldn
’t she just for once be a normal person without all these fears clouding her judgment? This wasn’t seventeen-year-old Brady with life aspirations so much larger than her own. He lived here now, like her. He bought a house. He wasn’t leaving.
So why couldn’t she trust him to stay?
“I’m just going to go get the coffee and hot chocolate stand set up,” she said, making a beeline for the back and bumping into a display of wooden angels on the way. The display swayed and Kylie steadied it. “That was almost a disaster,” she said with an awkward laugh, while Brady and Franny continued to stare at her with blank expressions. “Right, so the coffee. I’m just going to…” She motioned to the back and slipped through the door before she messed up anything else.
She stopped in front of the Keurig and hung her head. “Fantastic. Seriously. You are a rock star.”
“Um, are you talking to the coffee maker, or to me? Because yes I am.”
Kylie turned around to find Ally closing the back door, Santa suit in hand, and immediately her spirits lifted. “You. One hundred percent you! I owe you huge for this.”
“Girl, whatever. We’re a little team here at Merrily. Everyone has to help. I’m glad this time it was me to be able to fill the job.”
“And now I have to hug you.” Kylie walked over and draped an arm around the woman, squeezed, then released and focused back on the coffee. She removed the water reservoir from the coffee maker, walked over to the sink, and filled it up with water, then she replaced it and bent down to search for k-cups in the box she kept below the coffee maker on the shelf. “Do you mind giving it to Brady?”
Without having to look her way, Kylie knew what she would find on Ally’s face―a question mark. A giant question mark, and at this point, she had one in her own mind, too. Despite everything, she found herself pulling back, that age-old fear that someone else was going to not show, disappoint her―leave―was there, ready to dampen her spirit.
“No.”
At that, Kylie glanced up. “Sorry?”
“I’m sorry, but I said no. You need to give it to him. He’s your friend.”
Sighing, Kylie pulled out a dozen k-cups, eight caffeinated and four decaffeinated. Then she opened the box beside it labeled tea, pulled out four, and did the same with the box beside that, labeled hot chocolate. Finally, she stood up and turned to face Ally, who was quickly becoming her only friend in the town. “He’s not my friend.”
