With the help of attendants, we properly arranged all the weapons such as Arjuna’s Gandiva bow, Bhimsena’s mace, Nakula’s sword, and Sahadeva’s pestle and other useful things that Dhrishtadada had carried in his chariot, in the cottage. Among them when I saw a comb for making my hair and Kajal for the eyes that Sautramanimata had sent I strongly remembered her.
They bade farewell to us and were ready to go back. One has to walk on the path that life lays before one. Yet my heart became heavy with the thought that Krishna was leaving. I said to him, “Next time bring Rukminivahini and Bhamavahini along with all other vahinis. Tell Subhadra that I am taking good care of her master archer. Do come to meet me with Abhimanyu once.”
My friend Krishna left the Kamyakavana along with Uddhavadeva, Daruka, and Dhrishtadada. Before leaving he had clearly stated what he was going to do, which had given me great peace of mind. Indeed, it is a best friend’s job – to cherish the familial relations formed by birth and the friendship formed by bonding of the souls. Because of his promise even our life in the forest became carefree and delightful. We had to live in the forest not for a short time, but for a good twelve years.
During this time of twelve years which tested our mettle, we lived in three different forests– Kamyakavana, Dvaitavana and Gandhamadana. For the first six months, we lived in Kamyakavana. In this forest, we survived on the fruits and roots that my husbands gathered and the animals they hunted. They took turns even for hunting. Sometimes Bhimsena alone would bring two boars and three-four deer to the cottage with the help of the tribesmen. There were also other aashramas in this forest. Due to the commotion during hunting the daily routine of the hermits from other aashramas was getting disturbed. They complained to Yudhishthira about the disturbance caused in the daily rituals.
We decided to leave Kamyakavana and came to Dvaitavana. Here one day Maharishi Vyasa came to visit us unexpectedly. He stayed for two days. For two days, my five husbands and I were occupied in serving him. None of the Pandavas went out to the forest during this time. The Maharishi gave us detailed guidance as to how we should face the arduous life in the forest. In this forest too we stayed for six months, that is, till the month of Margashirsha.
In the second phase of our stay in the forests, we returned to the Kamyakavana from the Dvaitavana. The incident that took place in the gambling hall of the Kurus was indicative of the royal vengeance of Duryodhana, Dushasana, Shakuni and Karna. They were not going to molest me physically in front of the elders. They had an intense urge to avenge the insults that they suffered at my hands knowingly or unknowingly. None of them had even an iota of carnal desire towards me. But here in the Kamyakavana one such incident happened when my chastity was threatened.
Jayadratha, the leader of Sindhu-Sauvira caused me to suffer this. He was travelling from his Sindhu kingdom to the city of Martikavati of Shalva. Kotika, the son of King Suratha of the Shibis accompanied him. Their combined army camped near our aashrama. Yes, our Pandava colony was now being recognized as an aashrama due to the presence of Dhaumya rishi.
In the aashrama while I was alone in my cottage, and Dhaumya rishi with a few of his disciples and servants was in the guru-cottage, Kotika of the Shibis came to my cottage. Those were the days of summer.
While wiping the drops of sweat on his forehead with his shawl he requested me for some water. I filled a clay pot with water and went to give it to him. He drank the water staring at my long open hair reaching my heels and my dark curvaceous figure with unblinking eyes. While handing over the clay pot to me he looked deep into my eyes and asked, “Are there any Neelkamal flowers in the cottage? I can smell their fragrance!”
“No. There are no such flowers in the cottage. That fragrance is coming from me!” I answered with an innocent smile. He also smiled and thanking me, went away.
I got busy with cooking. Usually it didn’t happen but today Nakula who was on duty to guard the cottage also went to the forest to bring something. I was all alone in the cottage. Within a few minutes some commotion of the soldiers was heard around my cottage. Following that a hefty, armed man entered the cottage saying, “Where is that Draupadi of the Pandavas – the fragrant Kaurava maid living in the forest?” His eyes were full of the fire of lust. They looked so different from Duryodhana and Dushasana’s eyes.
He recklessly put his arms around my waist! He was forcefully abducting me – a married woman – a wife of five husbands, in broad daylight. Again, I screamed loudly gathering all my courage – ‘Oh sage, run… save me…’ Dhaumya rishi hurried out with a few male and female attendants. But Jayadratha put me in his chariot and ordered his charioteer to speed up. The chariot left, and my femininity got dragged along with it. How many more lecherous, lusty glances this body named Draupadi was going to have to bear?
Jayadratha had tightly held my wrist in his firm grasp. His charioteer was speeding the chariot as if it was being followed by a herd of tigers. Utterly helpless I was whimpering, “Help Achyuta… Madhava… Milinda…help.” Jayadratha was laughing wickedly with contempt and saying, “That low life cowherd is in Dwaraka. Let your five husbands stay here in the Kamyakavana collecting wood! Come, I will make you Maharani of the Sindhu-Sauviras. A diamond like you only befits the crown of the Sindhu leader. Your life is not for collecting wood in the forest. I have come all the way here looking for you after hearing the fame of your fragrance.” The chariot kept moving fast. It was unbearable to hear his words.
Here in our aashrama my mighty husband Bhimsena was the first one to return. As soon as he heard the news of my abduction from Dhaumya rishi he did not waste a moment. He climbed onto the stone platform on the west of the aashrama and shouted, sending a signal for Arjuna to hurry. The next moment Bhimsena mounted a sturdy horse that Sahadeva had tied and started galloping in the direction pointed by Dhaumya rishi. He was taking one precaution while going. He was stripping off the branches of the trees that were coming his way, like an elephant stripping off the branches in his way. It was a signal for Arjuna who was going to follow him soon.
As he had left immediately due to his extreme love for me, he had even forgotten to carry his mace. Halfway down the road he realized it. It was not possible to go back from there. He took out his ultimate weapon. The son of Vayu had such a loud and harsh voice that it would scare the hell out of the person who was at the receiving end. In a battle, he would scare his enemy dead simply by his loud screaming. He started roaring at the top of his lungs – “Jayadratha you rotten creature, wait. How dare you think that you would be able to pluck the fragrant lotus flower of the Pandavas while I am alive? Wait! You, sinful soul.”
Jayadratha’s chariot carrying me had to come to a halt as there was a river ahead of us. While his charioteer was looking for a boatman who could put his boat in the water, I heard the loud cries of Bhimsena which gave me courage. I relaxed. Jayadratha had also heard the roaring cries. He grabbed my wrist firmly and started dragging me towards a boat visible far away. His armed charioteer went to stop Bhima. Bhimsena was unarmed; he began throwing stones at the charioteer and kept shouting, “Jayadratha, you wretched man…Wait! I dare you to fight a wrestling bout with me if you are the true leader of the Sindhus.”
Even Arjuna who was following with his Gandiva bow could hear the screams. By this time Bhimsena had already killed the charioteer only by throwing stones at him. He had grabbed the sword from the charioteer’s hand and now he was holding it.
Now swift arrows started swishing our way. Just from their sound I recognized that my husband Arjuna – the master archer had come. Within a few moments Arjuna came into sight standing next to Bhimsena. Meanwhile I was feeling half dead due to all the dragging and screaming.
Jayadratha got nervous seeing both the sons of Kunti chasing him together. His grip on my wrist slackened. Leaving me on the spot the mighty Kshatriya, so-called leader of the Sindhus disappeared in the thick Kamyakavana. He simply ran away.
Due to the prompt actions of my husbands, Bhima and Ar
juna, my honour was protected. I had resentment in my heart against my valiant husbands because they did not utter a word of protest and sat meekly in the gambling hall while I was put through a gruesome experience. Yudhishthira was the one towards whom I had the most ire. My anger towards Bhima and Arjuna reduced considerably after this attack of Jayadratha. More than feeling happy about my honour being saved I felt much more satisfied to see that the valour of Bhima and Arjuna that had as good as vanished was reawakened and got a new edge again. But I was still not ready to forgive Yudhishthira! He was the reason that I was shared by five husbands. He was the one who shamelessly played the game of dice putting me at stake. It was because of his doing that Dushasana had dared to touch my saree in front of venerable elders.
After giving it considerable thought I decided that the valour of two of my five husbands had been awakened. Now the same should happen with the others. Otherwise their valour would get extinguished like sparks of fire on a boulder in the forest. A decision was taken in our forest meeting that we should have at least one Astra – a divine weapon at our disposal. For that purpose, Arjuna who had the potential to earn the Pashupatastra should go to Mount Himavana. He should perform the necessary penance and obtain the Astra from Shiva.
As per the unanimous decision Arjuna bade farewell to us and left in the direction of the North. The more I remembered Krishna whenever I was alone in the aashrama, the more I discovered the latent ‘Draupadi’ within myself. I realized fully that I won’t be able to survive being just a wife to my five husbands during this long period of living in the forest. I will have to be their mother – who would pull their ears when needed and who will love them affectionately as well.
The Kauravas had now usurped our Indraprastha kingdom. They had imposed the administrative system of Hastinapura on Indraprastha. They had dismissed all the commanders and chiefs of our fourfold army, and replaced them with arrogant leaders from Hastinapura. It was not only the Pandavas and I who suffered due to being condemned to the forest. The citizens of Indraprastha who had lived happily under our rule also suffered. We were getting all the information about it from the news that we got from Mahatma Vidura, and minister Sanjaya.
It was now six years since we came to the Kamyakavana. In the meantime, Arjuna had also returned from Mount Himavana after obtaining the Pashupatastra from Shiva who was disguised as a tribal man. During this time, from Dwaraka, occasionally Chief Minister Vipruthu, sometimes commander Satyaki or Anadhrishti, at times Krishna’s most handsome son Pradyumna visited us on Krishna’s behalf. Whenever Pradyumna came he occasionally went to the forest with Nakula to collect sacrificial sticks for Dhaumya rishi’s yajna. It was amusing to see both of them together. Nakula, in the white vestures of a forest dweller and Pradyumna, in the royal costume looked alike.
Balaramadada also came to visit us occasionally along with Revativahini and his brothers Gada and Sarana. Once he and Bhimsena came together they would stay together till the time of their departure. Notably, even here sometimes both the guru and the disciple would turn our front yard in the Kamyakavana into a mace pit and practice a mace fight till both of them got sweaty. As both of them used to snore loudly at night their grass beds would be arranged in the front yard. One thing was notable that both of them would get up very early before sunrise and be back from the stream after taking a dip. Sometimes, at dusk after the evening prayers Bhimsena would massage his guru’s feet with oil.
Every time Balaramadada came, inadvertently I compared him and Krishna in my mind. Then I realized that Balaramadada could be compared only with Bhimsena.
My five husbands had regarded Dhaumya rishi as their guru in the Kamyakavana. Living in the forest had brought them closer to Dhaumya rishi. As his disciples spread throughout Aaryavarta came to know that he had come here, they would come to the Kamyakavana in groups. Sometimes they would be even more than fifty in number. Then it would get really difficult for the sage to make arrangements for their food. Yudhishthira who observed it would say to me, “Draupadi, send your copper platter which has been charged by Srikrishna with the power of mantras to the rishi’s cottage”.
Then for quite some time that copper platter would stand in the front yard of the rishi’s cottage, shining in the rays of the sun. The food cooked in that platter would never fall short for the guests. When I saw, Yudhishthira serving food to the disciples, my anger towards him began waning gradually.
The rainy season that thrashed the Kamyakavana was over. The overflowing rivers in the forest returned to their normal flow. Fog, announcing the severe cold of winter, began covering the forest. Now it was necessary to leave the Kamyakavana as soon as possible. Bhima and Arjuna built two neat and beautiful boats with their brothers’ assistance. All five brothers were going to take turns carrying those on their shoulders. Without taking any household goods from here we were going to leave this forest only with the clothes that we were wearing. Wherever we were going we were going to build a new cottage and begin a new life there. On the chosen day, all of us met Dhaumya rishi and sought his blessings. He was also going to follow us to the new forest along with his disciples.
We reached the Dvaitavana after crossing many rivers. Here also Bhima and Arjuna raised a spacious cottage to our liking. It was even bigger in size than the previous one. My five husbands built a circular, sturdy, protective wooden fence around it, and also raised a small colony of big and small huts nearby for the rishi and his disciples. Dhaumya rishi was going to bring our cows and cattle with him later. Within a couple of months our Pandava colony in the Dvaitavana was inhabited and running smoothly. Then Yudhishthira invited Dhaumya rishi through Nakula. First, the sage’s disciples arrived in groups along with the cattle. Dhaumya rishi arrived with the last group.
Now our Pandava colony in the Dvaitavana was well established. Early in the morning mantra chanting blended with the clouds of smoke rising from the huts and the rishi’s tall cottage in the centre. In front of Dhaumya rishi’s cottage a spacious yajna pit started blazing day and night. The comforting, pure hymn of the Almighty sung by his disciples began echoing in the ambience –
This entire universe is an abode of the Almighty. Hearing such words at the beginning of the prayer I would inadvertently remember Krishna. It did not feel as if he was somewhere far away near the western ocean. It felt like he was always here in the Dvaitavana with our Pandava family. I would have an uncontrollable urge to test all my husbands and check if they also felt the same about Krishna. If I would have asked them all at the same time, they would have just reiterated what the first one answered. Their true feelings wouldn’t have been revealed. Then my test would not be successful.
Therefore, in the Dvaitavana I tested each one of them separately, one by one. On the very first day when the sage began the hymn, as soon as I heard the commencing words I asked Arjuna, “Dhananjaya, what do you feel when you hear this hymn?”
He answered precisely, “I sing this hymn in my heart day and night. I feel that the almighty in this hymn also resides in my heart!” I would feel ecstatic hearing his reply.
Still, to get confirmation of his love for Krishna I would probe him further, “Would you feel like singing this hymn if Krishna stands here, in front of you?”
Just as he was a master archer with perfect aim, he was also a brilliant friend of Krishna. He would immediately understand my intention in asking the question. He would say, “If he were in front of me why would I even need to sing a hymn? Does one ever hear one’s own praise? Krishney, has Arjuna ever remained Arjuna in his presence?” His perfect and precise answer would leave me speechless.
After a few days, I asked the same question to my eldest husband Yudhishthira, “Do you remember Krishna while hearing this hymn?”
He answered according to his temperament and befitting his seniority, “Draupadi, what did Arjuna answer to this probing question of yours? Consider that as my answer too!” His reply would indicate his lost kingship, his seniority and his love for Krishna too.
He would have unmistakably surmised that I had asked this question to Arjuna before him, which would clearly indicate his seniority and kingship. He would agree completely with Arjuna’s answer even without knowing it, which would express his love for Krishna and Arjuna too.
I asked the same question to Bhimsena after a few days. He replied, “Everybody considers me as Hunger and Power incarnate. It is true that the world cannot run without these two. For me Krishna is Hunger and Power!” Even his reply would be apt and correct.
I asked this question to Nakula. He said, “Krishna resides everywhere. Anything that is beautiful is proof of his being there.” His answer would be suitable to his temperament.
In the end, I asked this question to Sahadeva, “Oh Sahadeva, tell me what exactly do you feel listening to this hymn?” The answer he gave was in keeping with his nature.
Sahadeva replied, “Shyamale, I see Krishna who resides everywhere in the world, in the form of a horse. He is cautious, fast and has control over sleep like a horse!” I felt satisfied after hearing his answer too. His answer also suited his character.
Each Pandava’s reply showed his own perception of Krishna. No doubt they all loved Krishna from the bottom of their heart.
The answer that Sahadeva gave made me go deeper in my own soul. Now wasn’t it the most important question as to how my love for Krishna is? I asked myself, “What do you find Krishna like?” The reply came, “A lot like Arjuna. No – no – like Yudhishthira. No – like Bhima? No – then who else? Like Nakula or Sahadeva? No – No–.” I couldn’t find any answer to the question that I had asked myself. I became restless and agitated. Deep down in my heart I thought, ‘Instead of having to find out what I feel about him by using my intellect, how about getting to see it with my own eyes? Right now, here in this Dvaitavana!!’
Even as I was looking restlessly at Sahadeva’s after hearing his reply he rushed out of the cottage towards the entrance outside saying ‘Oh the Ashwapurusha – the Horse-man’.
Srikrishna- the Lord of the Universe Page 61
