After Indraprastha, Hastinapura and Dwaraka the most important places in my life were the Panchala kingdom as my father-in-law’s place and Viratanagar as Abhimanyu’s father-in-law’s place. Dhrishtadyumna who was born out of the Yajna fire had a great influence over Kampilyanagar of the Panchalas. He was valiant, had a complexion like hot gold, and spoke passionately. The Panchalas were abundant in number. As their Maharaja Drupada – my father-in-law – belonged to the same generation of grandsire and Maharaja Dhritarashtra, he was now aged and weary. The enormous kingdom of Panchala was under the rule of Dhrishtadyumna. He had divided the kingdom in two parts, Northern Panchala and Southern Panchala, for the sake of administrative convenience. Dhrishtadyumna always had the last word in the Panchala kingdom. This brother-in-law of mine regarded me very highly, not only because I was his sister’s husband but also because in his eyes I was a master archer.
I had never dreamt that I would have to stay in Viratanagar of the Matsyas for an entire year. But I had realized and agreed with what Srikrishna always said – one can never tell who will enter one’s life and where one will have to go. His entire life was the mirror of this truth. He was born in the prison of his mama, Kansa. Immediately after birth he went to Gokul and lived there. Then he came to Mathura and then to Dwaraka. After that he travelled through the entire Aaryavarta which was befitting a valiant universal ruler. Even he wouldn’t be able to list all the places he had visited. In the same way, I also had to travel to many places during the twelve years of living in the forest.
The five of us along with Draupadi had to spend the first few days of our stay in the forest in the Kamyakavana. It was in this Kamyakavana that we met Srikrishna for the first time during our forest stay. We had directly come to the Kamyaka vana from Hastinapura without meeting him after the gambling incident, and without going to Indraprastha, as per the conditions of the game. None of us mentioned anything about gambling to Krishna in this first visit. But Draupadi said it all. As usual he heard it silently. He guided us with minute details of how to spend the twelve years of living in a forest and one year of living incognito with unity and self-control. He stayed in our hut in the Kamyakavana for two days and returned to Dwaraka. We also moved to the Dvaitavana from the Kamyakavana. After six months in the forest, one day, Maharishi Vyasa unexpectedly came to the Kamyakavana to visit us. The aashramas of other sages were also located in this forest. Our daily hunting was probably creating some trouble for them. Especially Bhimsena would create a racket, shouting very loudly during hunting. It was creating a hindrance in the daily religious rituals of the people of the aashramas. They put forth their complaint to the Maharishi. As per his suggestion and instruction we moved from the Dvaitavana to the Kamyakavana again.
It was in this forest that an unforgettable truth of my life came to be. In the council of us brothers along with Draupadi it was decided that I should go to the Himalayas. As Srikrishna had told us, henceforth we were not going to be able to sustain ourselves unless we obtained a powerful Astra. In his opinion only I was suitable for that purpose. Therefore, I had to leave the company of all my brothers and Draupadi to obtain the Pashupatastra. For that I had consciously prepared my mind. I paid obeisance to Yudhishthira and Bhima before leaving as they were elder to me. I held Nakula and Sahadeva in a deep embrace. I stood in front of Draupadi to bid farewell to her. It felt as if the entire hut was full of emotions like never before. But she was very strong. She said, “Oh master archer, don’t come back without obtaining the Astra. Whenever you miss me, remember only Srikrishna. He will never desert you under any circumstances.” I gave her the response that she expected, “It is because of him that I exist. Don’t worry about me Shyamale, goodbye.”
From that moment, my forest life was on the go like a wheel. After bidding farewell to all I started travelling towards the North on a pilgrimage. Alone!
I reached Mount Gandhamadana in the Himalayas. It was filled with such appealing and fresh natural beauty! As Kuntimata had told us, we were born on the Shatashringa summit here. I was the only one who got the first opportunity to see this birthplace again today. First, I went to the Shatashringa summit and found our birthplace by identifying the landmarks told to us by Kuntimata many a times in our childhood.
For two days. I stayed in the hut where we were born. According to Krishna, a pilgrim should not live in one place for more than two days. I experienced so much in those two days! My childhood, which I vaguely remembered, revolved around me rapidly during this time. Many aged native women expressed their love in their native way by waving their fingers around my face and then cracking their knuckles on the sides of their temples to ward off the evil, saying ‘Kuntimaiyya – Arjuna – Bhimbhaiyya…’ During those two days, I ate the delicious wild fruits and drank the milk of cows and sheep that they lovingly offered to me. With their leader, I went and saw the boulder that had broken in two when Bhimsena had jumped on it from above. After two days, I bade farewell to those pure of heart, affectionate natives and arrived on the plateau on Mount Gandhamadana. I had carried my Gandiva bow with me along with the two inexhaustible quivers. I also had other weapons like the sword which could be easily handled. On this airy plateau of Gandhamadana I built a neat hut.
My daily routine in Hastinapura in Guru Drona’s school of weaponry training was different. It was also different while living in Indraprastha as Arjuna, the son of Pandu. Now here on Mount Gandhamadana it changed completely while living alone. Here I lived alone not for a few days but for five years.
Krishna who had the experience of crossing the Dandakaranya many times had given me training for safe forest life. There were two major things in that. The first was to protect myself from ferocious wild animals like tigers, wolves, and hyenas. For that I had dug quite a deep and wide trench around the hut. For fuel, I had collected dry wooden logs in a room that would last me for a year. Every night I ignited a fire in that trench with those logs making the hut secure for the night. The second thing was to collect food grains and dried fruits for the rainy season. I had also hung two-three big earthen pots in slings to store honey.
During the rainy season and autumn, the hut would stay warm due to the fire burning in the trench. By the time the first summer arrived I had built a sturdy, tall wooden fence around the trench. Then there was no need to ignite a fire during summer.
I had come here to obtain the Pashupatastra. But it was with Lord Shiva! It was very difficult to please him and make him manifest himself. Obtaining the Astra from him was indeed an extremely difficult task.
Every morning I used to get up on the Brahma Muhurta, bathe in the river and return. I would take a light fruit snack and then sit for meditation and recitation. Without fail first I would remember dear friend Krishna. His face with the peacock-feathered golden crown on his head would appear in front of my closed but alert eyes. Blue complexioned Krishna wearing a yellow silk dhoti, with the fresh Vaijayanti garland and pearl necklaces with the Kaustubh jewel resting on his chest, and holding the mace and chakra in his knee-long arms would manifest in front of my closed eyes.
I would get entranced, and begin singing the hymn of Sri in my mind. In the meditation, I would put my head on his feet. My soul, my consciousness would completely surrender to him and earnestly implore – ‘Oh Lord Vaasudeva, save me!’
Whenever I would start such a prayer full of emotion by losing myself and becoming one with him, I would hear the clear words coming from his divine lips. Unknowingly, I would imitate him.
I would automatically start singing Shiva’s hymn. Now Srikrishna, who was earlier wearing the peacock-feathered crown, would appear in the form of Shivashankara, in front of my closed eyes. He looked like Shiva sitting in the meditative pose on the Kailasa summit of Mount Himavana, bearing Ganga and the crescent-shaped moon in his matted hair, wearing necklaces of serpents around his blue throat, and holding the Damaru in his hand. I would plead to him from the bottom of my heart, ‘Oh Lord Shivashankara, save me!’
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p; This life on Mount Gandhamadana during which I did penance, lasted for four years. Autumn was now over on Mount Gandhamadana and summer had begun.
It was the thirteenth day of the dark fortnight in the month of Magha. As usual, with the Gandiva bow on my shoulders I left for hunting, balancing the two inexhaustible quivers of arrows on my back. For a long time, I didn’t see any deer. In search of deer I entered the thick forests of Mount Gandhamadana. There was a grassy meadow here. Many deer were grazing. Without letting them get even a wind of my presence I aimed at a tall male deer with wide antlers and shot an arrow at him. It was not going to miss its target. The deer leaped, ran desperately for a few feet and collapsed. Meanwhile all other deer had disappeared from the meadow. I felt proud of my aim and moved forward. I went near the deer. When I was about to touch it, I heard intimidating words from behind a thick bush, “I have shot that deer. That arrow stuck in his chest is mine. It is my kill. Do not touch it!” I glanced in the direction of the intimidating voice. I was not at all used to hearing something like this. He was a Kirata – a tribal man. Probably a leader. He was tall, muscular, bearded, had covered his matted hair by tucking wild bird feathers in it and had fully covered his chest with a tiger skin. I was such a courageous person, but even I was taken aback by his appearance at first. Of course, I still had complete faith in my perfect aim. I said, “The arrow that has pierced the chest of the deer, is mine. The kill is mine.”
We had an argument about whether it was mine or his. Then he challenged me, saying, “I am the Kirata king. I have complete authority over this Mount Gandhamadana – and also the Himalayas! You, a worthless human being who carries a trivial bow on his shoulders – get ready to fight with me.”
I was agitated on hearing his challenge. I said, “I am Kunti’s son, master archer Arjuna of Indraprastha. I am Dhananjaya, the best Sakha of Srikrishna. I may tolerate my own insult but not that of my Gandiva bow. Kirataa, get ready, I have accepted your challenge.”
We brandished our bows. A fierce battle began in the forest. For a long time, we vehemently showered each other with various arrows. But our battle remained inconclusive. His expertise of archery was unique among all the archers I had met so far. I did not fail to remember Srikrishna while counter-attacking each of his arrows. Hours passed by. The evening was approaching. We were surrounded by heaps of arrows. Wild flies began hovering over the kill that lay in the middle. Suddenly the arrows coming from the opposite side stopped. The Kirata had hung his bow on his shoulder and was approaching me. I also stopped. He stood right in front of me. He was much taller than me, darkish and radiant. He reminded me of Srikrishna. In a voice melodious like a Damaru he said, “Oh Krishna-devotee, Kunti’s son Partha, you have recognized yourself. You have also recognized your best Sakha Krishna. How come you didn’t recognize me?”
Stunned, I kept looking at him. His words fell on my ears as if echoing from the valleys of Shatashringa, “I am the Lord of Kailasa - Shan…Ka…Ra!”
The lord of Kailasa – Shivashankara – whose name itself has tremendous power was actually standing in front of me! Promptly, I prostrated at his feet. I couldn’t speak a word. My whole body was covered with goose bumps.
Shiva picked me up just as gently as Srikrishna would. Just like Krishna, Shiva held me in a deep embrace close to his big heart. There are no words to describe that touch of Lord Shiva. It was simply unforgettable. After some time, he held me in front of him by my arms, looked deep into my eyes and said, “I am pleased by your expertise in archery with the Gandiva bow. I am going to bestow on you the Pashupatastra along with its mantras, for which you came here with such determination. Remember that you have to fulfil a mission that will benefit the entire human race. You are born as ‘Narashreshtha’, the best of men, and you have Srikrishna – Narayana himself by your side. Wherever he will be, there will be Dharma, and wherever there is Dharma, there will be victory. You will be victorious. You have my blessings. Listen to the divine mantras of Pashupatastra –”
Shiva closed his eyes. The flow of mantras in his voice started cascading like a torrent of Ganga gushing down the Himalayas. My eyes also closed. I automatically began repeating the mantras. In the end, radiant Shiva vaguely said… ‘Tathastu’– May your wish be fulfilled!
I opened my eyes. The Kirata king had disappeared.
That night I slept peacefully like never before. From the very next day I could feel a tremendous change within me. I was free from the thoughts of being separated from my family and the thoughts that ‘I am alone, I am away from my beloved wife Draupadi and my brothers, and my best friend Srikrishna is far away in the Dwaraka kingdom’. I began seeing Shiva everywhere on Mount Gandhamadana.
Very soon I experienced Shiva’s blessings in that forest. My four brothers along with Draupadi came on Mount Gandhamadana to meet me. Meeting them after five years gave me inexpressible joy. My dear brother Bhimsena embraced me so tightly that I felt as if he was going to crush my body. Their faces blossomed like a sunflower when they heard the news of my obtaining the Pashupatastra. Almost for an entire week we kept chatting with each other continuously. The topic of our talks was only Srikrishna.
The hut that I had built earlier for myself was now brought down. The trench around the hut was filled up, and the protective fence around it was also removed. We selected the distant summit Kubera for our next stay. There, on a sizeable circular area, we built a small colony of huts having separate chambers for each one of us like in the royal palace of Indraprastha. Next to our colony, a colony of ashramas for Dhaumya rishi and his disciples was also built. It had been six years since we had left to live in the forest. It was unanimously decided to stay together on the Kubera summit of Mount Gandhamadana for at least the next three-four years. Draupadi and my four brothers had stayed in the Kamyakavana for the last five years. This Kamyakavana was close to Hastinapura. Mount Gandhamadana, on which we were going to live now, was quite far away from Hastinapura. Therefore, Duryodhana and Shakuni who were responsible for pushing us into this situation, were not going to know about our further movements. All this planning was obviously Srikrishna’s.
We stayed on the Kubera summit of Mount Gandhamadana for four years. Now it was ten years since we had left Hastinapura. At the beginning of the eleventh year we had a meeting. It was unanimously decided to leave Mount Gandhamadana. We were leaving this mountain for the second time. First time we had left it with Kuntimata in the tender age of childhood. This time we were leaving with the contentment of having fulfilled a duty. Kuntimata was living alone at Vidurakaka’s house in Hastinapura. All of us were desperately longing to see her. We knelt down and touching our heads to the ground we prayed to the mountain-god. We didn’t know when we were going to see these mountains of the Himalayas again.
During our return journey, we were going to take a halt at Badri-Kedara. We arrived at this holy place on the Ganga and stayed in the veranda of a charitable rest house of a Shiva temple. Here Nakula-Sahadeva got busy building a stone stove. Bhimsena went to collect firewood. Draupadi began preparations for cooking. Elder brother Yudhishthira began supervising all of them and giving necessary instructions, sitting on a mat and resting his back to a stone wall. I went to the banks of the Ganga with an earthen pot to fetch water. I filled the pot with water and put it aside on a stone step. I entered the clean, crystal waters of the Ganga. I finished my bath and came out. Holding the earthen pot on my shoulders I began climbing the steps of the ghat. I was lost in thoughts such as where and how to spend the next year of living incognito. Just when a few steps of the ghat remained I heard a voice calling me, ‘Dhananjaya, you?’ That voice was as sweet as coming from a pot of honey. I knew that voice quite well. A radiant-looking man was standing on the step in front of me. He was wearing simple white clothes. His thick, curly, open hair rested on his shoulders. His face and voice seemed very familiar and close to me. I looked at the man closely.
He was our Uddhavadeva!
Exclaiming, “Uddhavadeva,
you?” I put the earthen pot down and touched his feet. He pulled me up and held me in a deep embrace. I promptly questioned him, “How come you are here? And that too dressed likethis?” He smiled and said, “Are you surprised Arjuna? I will tell you. Where are your brothers? Where is Draupadi? How are you all?”
I was overwhelmed by every word, with the realization that I had met someone so dear after so many years.
“Deva, please come with me. They are all staying at the charitable rest house of the Shiva temple.” I picked up the earthen pot again and began walking. He followed me. We came to the charitable rest house. As I had assumed, no one recognized him at first. Then within a few moments Draupadi got up from near the stove. Narrowing her eyes, she stared at Uddhavadeva and almost screamed, “Oh, this is our Uddhavadeva! How come he is here?” She came forward. She paid obeisance to him by touching his feet three times. The next moment she asked, “How is Krishna? Where is he? When is he coming to meet us?” As she asked the questions one after the other, my brothers also realized who had come. They also paid obeisance by touching Deva’s feet. Yudhishthira held his hand with utter respect and seated him on his own mat. He also asked, “How come you are here, Deva?”
Srikrishna- the Lord of the Universe Page 73
