“You don’t like aruna?” Inari sounded bemused.
“Pain and humiliation? What’s to like?” As soon as I’d said that I wondered if aruna was why he’d followed me up there. After all the food and the booze his group had offered us it would probably be rude to refuse him, if that’s what he wanted.
“But,” I added hurriedly, “that doesn’t mean I won’t. I mean… I will, if that’s what you want…”
“No … but thank you,” he said, his voice solemn. “It’s been a long day and I’m too exhausted to be any use to a partner.”
I couldn’t see his face clearly in the dark, but it sounded like he was smiling.
There followed a few minutes of silence that felt very awkward to me. I was racking my brain to try and figure out what to say when he broke the silence. “That’s human territory across the river isn’t it? So what are they guarding? It looks like quite the operation. Something rather valuable it would seem? Weapons perhaps?”
“Something even more valuable.” I sighed. “Their loved ones. It’s a family compound.”
“Ah…. A truth that some humans never understood, until it was too late. So tell me Nolan, how far did you get when you tried to read the whole library?”
I found myself back in my grandmother’s library, running through the stacks, desperately trying to find her before the tanks and soldiers did. Along the way, I was trying to grab and rescue as many valuable books as I could. I was panic-stricken because I kept dropping so many of them, but there wasn’t time to stop. I burst through a door and into an old storage room. I was overjoyed to find the fountain that had stood derelict in front of the old library for as long as I’d been accompanying my grandmother, was there in the storage room fixed and functioning; but as I barricaded the door to stop the tanks, the fountain changed into an old dishevelled silver Christmas tree that disintegrated when I touched it.
Nolan!
My eyes flickered half-open and the dream faded. I saw nothing but blackness There was no sound; the warehouse was still.
Inari and I had talked about reading and books for quite awhile. We’d gone back inside together but we’d parted ways; he’d headed back to the fire-lit circle and I to my sleep spot along the wall farthest from the main area. I began to drift back to sleep.
Nolan!
I was suddenly wide awake. I’d heard my name but not with my ears. I’d heard it in my head.
Nolan!
I sat bolt upright. There was no mistaking it that time; someone had said my name in my head – but the whole warehouse remained still and silent. I sat there tense, alert; peering into the darkness. A pale blue light appeared around a corner of boxes and seemed to float towards me. My heart was pounding as Inari crouched down in front of me.
Nolan, we have to be leaving now. Come with us.
I was frozen. This had to be still part of a dream; his lips weren’t moving, yet I could hear his voice in my head. As my eyes were drawn to the light in his hand, my blood ran cold. This didn’t make sense to me; I could see no source for the light. There was just an orb of light floating just above the palm of his hand.
Nolan? I looked up at him. Even in that light the confusion and fear I was feeling must have showed on my face.
Don’t be afraid, Nolan! The last thing I want to do is hurt you. This kind of communication is called mind touch and the light is a pretty simple trick. You’re Wraeththu – and you will learn to do this too. We’ll teach you how. There is so much more to being a har than what your life is here. We’ve been travelling into the cities trying to find hara like you. You believe there is a better way, don’t you? So do we. We believe that we Wraeththu can be more than just ‘bigger and badder’ humans and we’re working to make that a reality. We’re building our future. Come with us, Nolan. Please.
I opened my mouth to say something but he put his fingers lightly on my lips.
Shhhh. Quietly! We don’t want to wake anyhar. We want to be miles from here before Dawson and the others wake up. Do you have any belongings to collect?
I shook my head slowly.
He moved his fingers from my lips and I felt a feather-light caress of my cheek.
Let’s go.
It had only taken me a second to decide to leave the warehouse with Inari and the others. I did not want to miss this opportunity for escape by over-thinking and over-analysing; opportunities only knock once, they say, and sometimes not even that often. I’d made the choice purely on gut-instinct. Leaving with them just felt like the right thing to do; time would tell if I’d jumped out of the frying pan only to land in the fire.
As we picked our way through the back alleys, my new friends answered my questions readily, but their answers tended to fill me with more questions. This made me slightly uneasy and I entertained certain second thoughts, but for better or worse I had put my lot in with these strangers and the farther from Dawson’s warehouse I got the more committed to this path it seemed I was.
We travelled steadily but cautiously, and by the time the sun began to rise we were miles past the bridge that spanned the river marking the territory between Dawson’s crew and the territory next door, which was controlled by a harish band of ‘nightwalkers’.
There wasn’t much conversation as the day wore on. Everyone was on high alert, but so far I’d seen no one. We were halfway along a block of boarded-up and burnt-out shops when Zekki stopped suddenly signalling the rest of us to halt.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered.
Danger! Aydenn replied into my head. Can you feel it? Try. Let your mind feel, let it go… trust what it tells you.
I wasn’t exactly sure what he meant but I took a good hard look at the intersection we were approaching. It was as unremarkable as any other, with cracked pavement, weeds, and more boarded-up storefronts. Then I’m not sure what happened, I suddenly felt something; I felt jumpy and panicky – there was something wrong.
Zekki advanced two steps, stopped, then suddenly spun on his heel, signalling madly.
D’rik grabbed me and hustled me into one of the sheltered store entries between the now non-existent showcase windows. The rest of them crowded in after us.
Don’t move. Don’t breathe.
All of us were motionless as a heavily-armed human patrol slowly came around the corner; alert – their guns at the ready.
Maelduin was in front of us all at the edge of the store front alcove, closest to the street. He stood tall and straight, his eyes closed, his arms hanging at his sides, palms facing out to the street. His body was relaxed and he seemed focused inward completely.
The soldiers moved slowly, still holding their guns ready. We were sitting ducks. There was no way they’d miss eight hara crushed into a tiny store entranceway. I closed my eyes and waited for the bullets but nothing happened. Nothing happened for what seemed like ages.
I opened my eyes. A soldier stood not ten feet from where we were. He was scanning the area slowly. He was so close that when he turned his head and his gaze travelled over where we huddled I could see that his eyes were blue. How could he not see us? How could none of the patrol members see us?
D’rik was directly in front of me. His body suddenly became relaxed and his breathing deepened. I noticed he was staring hard at the alleyway that cut between two derelict shop buildings across the street. Suddenly his body went rigid, his breathing stopped, his eyes closed and almost simultaneously all hell seemed to break loose down that alley; it sounded like metal trashcans were being bashed around.
Several yelled orders had the patrol moving briskly into the alleyway. We waited a few breaths after the last human had entered the alley and then we ran; we ran until I thought my lungs would burst.
“I don’t understand how they didn’t see us.”
The sun was setting and we’d taken shelter in a small garage that stood behind a tiny old house that was stripped of its siding and whose roof had caved in.
Maelduin smiled “I created a kind of psychic veil…
a metaphysical barrier… between them and us. It clouded their minds enough to keep us hidden. You know ‘out of sight out of mind’? Well this is sort of an ‘out of mind, out of sight’ thing.” He chuckled at his own little joke. “We hara have so much potential – you’ll learn. We’re all still learning.”
I mulled over some of the ‘potentials’ I’d already been witness to that day.
“D’rik? Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure,” he nodded. “As long as you ask in mind touch.”
I frowned. “I can’t.”
“Try. Think it into my head.”
I tried. I thought hard about my question but D’rik just sat there patiently. I closed my eyes and tried again; still nothing.
“Nolan.” Acorn leaned forward. “You’re just beginning, so start with your eyes open and look at D’rik. Picture your words going into his head.” He reached out to place his index finger on my temple. “Visualize your words going from here to here.” He traced an arch toward D’rik’s temple. “Focus and try again.”
I took a deep breath and focused on the question, I repeated it several times to myself and then looked at D’rik and thought it at the same time as visualizing the arc Acorn had drawn with his finger.
“Try again,” Inari encouraged.
I did; this time I sort of ‘shoved’ the thought out of my mind towards D’rik.
“Yes! I did!” D’rik grinned. “I made that commotion in the alley this afternoon. More Wraeththu conjuring – I knocked some garbage cans off a fire escape.”
“He did it?” Acorn exclaimed. “Wow, that’s awesome, Nolan!”
“Yup, Nolan asked if it was me who caused that hullabaloo in the alley.”
After almost three full days of walking we’d left the dismal ruin of the city behind. We were now following the crumbling network of highways and byways of the open countryside. The sunshine, open fields and the fresh air were uplifting. I had not seen this much nature in my entire life. The tensions of the city seemed to melt away, our group chatted and laughed as we trekked.
Inari and I had spent many hours talking about books and authors we liked, debating literature styles, and discussing the exciting possibility of books that could be written about Wraeththu, for Wraeththu, and by Wraeththu. When we’d left the city, we had started out on wide multi-lane highways that had once seen thousands of rumbling cars and trucks, but now were desolate empty spaces where the once smooth asphalt was riddled with potholes and cracks in which wild flowers and grasses had taken root.
We’d veered off the main highway to follow a variety of smaller routes, always skirting old towns “just in case”. Late in the afternoon of the third day, Aydenn suddenly turned off the narrow winding country road we had been travelling along and began walking up a gravel drive that wound between the trees.
“Wow,” I commented. “I didn’t even see this driveway until you walked up here!”
“I know.” Maelduin smirked. “Thank you.” He laughed good-naturedly at the confused look I gave him. “It’s another one of those magic veils – we leave it here at the entrance. That way, unless you know it’s there and are looking for it, you don’t see it. It cuts down on unwanted visitors and snoops!”
At the end of the long drive was a large flat-roofed, two-story building that, judging by the truck bays must have been some sort of business premises, with a warehouse on the ground floor and office space above. I could also see some smaller buildings further back. What was most surprising was that this place, hidden out in the woods, bustled with activity. There were hara loading a wagon, others digging in a ditch, and others bound for somewhere carrying tools or boxes.
My companions were greeted warmly with big smiles and waves and calls of ‘welcome back’.
Maelduin turned to me. “Welcome to your first ‘home’, Nolan. Make yourself comfortable, pitch in, make friends, and I’ll see you at dinner.” He pointed at Aydenn and D’rik. “You two are off to find out about the next convoy.” Then he pointed at Acorn and Osiris. “You two need to come with me. We’ve got to check in with our fearless leader.” Finally, Maelduin pointed at Inari. “You go get Nolan checked in and then join us.”
“You…” Maelduin pointed at Zekki.
“I,” announced Zekki, “am going to have a bath, and nap until dinner.” With a grin and wink he was off.
Inari guided me into one of the open truck bays where a harried-looking har with straw-coloured hair twisted up into a knot was sorting papers. He looked up as we approached. “Inari! You’re back! Good to see you.”
“Good to see you too, Buzz,” Inari said with a grin. “I’m signing in a new addition.”
Buzz’s eyes flickered over to where I stood and he nodded quickly. “He’s already har? OK, good. Name?”
“Nolan,” I said.
Buzz wrote that down. “OK, OK…” He grabbed a large clipboard “… Ummmm… let’s see.” He began to chew on the pencil. “You see we’re realllllly crowded – the convoy that was supposed to leave yesterday didn’t because the wagon wheel fell off… Oy! What a mess… I can find you a temporary spot… and I’ll move you into a real spot when the convoy leaves…”
“He’s bunking with me,” Inari said.
Buzz stuck the pencil into his hair-knot and looked me over with a bit more interest than he had initially. “OK, then. Since you’re probably expected to check in with the boss – I’ll take care of Nolan.”
Inari nodded. “See you at dinner,” he said to me as he headed off.
“Right, then,” Buzz said. “A bath, some new clothes, and we’ll get you settled.” Then he yelled over his shoulder: “Hiko!”
A lanky pale har with a shaved head and four gold earrings ambled out of one of the old office spaces.
“Hiko, this is Nolan. He’s just arrived. Can you take him and get him set up?”
“Sure!”
The bath was divinely warm and soapy; I felt reborn. Hiko seemed determined to ‘transform’ me; he’d found me some fabulous clothes, new boots, and a flashy jacket, and he’d produced a citrusy liquid he’d applied to my hair which allowed him to brush out the tangles almost painlessly.
When triumphantly he stood me in front of a mirror, I didn’t recognize myself. The last time I’d had a proper bath and clean clothes I’d been an adolescent in my grandmother’s tiny apartment; a scrawny, pale, shy boy with short cropped hair – an awkward ugly duckling. Now a slender exotic creature with large brown eyes and brown wavy hair that hung down the middle of his back stared back at me. I ran my fingers through my hair. I was a swan. I smiled at my reflection and was instantly struck by the resemblance between my reflection and an old dog-eared photograph of my grandmother I’d once found in one of her old books. My grandmother lived on in me.
Just how complete a transformation Hiko had achieved was evident when we reported back to Buzz. The har glanced up in my direction in a quick distracted acknowledgment of my presence, and then did a startled double-take, knocking over a pile of carefully stacked papers. An eyebrow rose as he looked me over thoroughly. “Well… wow! That’s quite the cleanup,” he said.
Hiko laughed. “OK. Apparently you approve. I’m going to show Nolan the compound. See you at dinner.”
There were storage areas, horses, and wagons. There was a blacksmith and an expansive cultivation area that grew vegetables. There were chickens and goats. There was a recycling and repurposing area and more. I was impressed – thoroughly.
“We try to be as self-sufficient as possible,” Hiko said proudly.
As we walked back towards the main buildings, I caught site of two smaller buildings set well apart from the others.
“What’s in there?” I asked.
“The smaller cottage is where we house any humans that come through,” Hiko replied. “The refugees, we help on through. Those wanting to be incepted are coached and prepared for the process. That’s where I spent about a week when I first got here. The other bigger building is where
they hold the inception ritual and then care for newbies until the change is done. After that, they’re brought to the main buildings and there is a welcoming ceremony before they get to go off for the fun bit…” He grinned at me and winked. “Inari was my first.” He seemed to catch himself and shot me a rather self-conscious look, then cleared his throat. “That doesn’t bother you, does it?” he continued rapidly. “‘Cuz sometimes we still think of sex and aruna as the same and having the same rules, right? But they don’t, right? I just don’t want you to feel weird ‘cuz … shit! … I shouldn’t have said anything,” he finished somewhat sheepishly.
“Oh… no…,” I said hurriedly. “Inari and I have never… you know – done it. I … don’t…” I felt my cheeks flush.
“You don’t?” Hiko looked at me as if I had two heads. “Why?”
“Inception wasn’t my choice, and I spent most of my ‘change’ alone, in a dumpster. The next bit was pretty awful too, so….” My voice trailed off and I shrugged.
“Oh, wow… I’m sorry,” he said awkwardly.
We walked a bit in silence.
“Nolan?” There was a long pause. “I know you’re bunking with Inari… and I just want to say…” Hiko was struggling with the right wording. “You know…. If the opportunity comes up… you know … for you and Inari to … you know…” He fixed me with an intense look. “Trust him, okay?”
We stared at each other for a moment, and then a sly smile crept across his face. “Trust me,” he said. “You will not regret it.”
A loud cacophony of banging pots and pans and hollering announced dinner; Hiko and I headed back at a jog to join the mess hall line.
I found the table with my travel companions and endured (and thoroughly enjoyed) the compliments and teasing about my make-over. I blushed and beamed and noted with a startling degree of satisfaction that Inari kept stealing sidelong glances in my direction despite being in deep discussion with a beautiful blond har who wore a red leather jacket.
Three days of travel on foot with not much sleep, the newness of the place, my relief at having what felt like a real home, combined with a full belly was catching up with me; I was struggling to keep my eyes open.
Paragenesis: Stories of the Dawn of Wraeththu Page 7
