by Eric Vall
“Yet to be determined,” the princess mumbled back as she blinked in rapid succession. “I do have one question though.”
“Shoot,” I replied as my stickman began to clamber up my wrist.
Cayla lifted her head, looked me dead in the eye, and asked, “In your previous lives, did you sleep with that goddess?”
Heat flooded my cheeks, and I scrubbed sheepishly at the beard on my cheek. “Well… yes? Apparently, we had some grand love affair. B-but don’t worry! She’s, uh… she’s on the same page the three of us are on. What I mean is that she’s not the jealous type.”
“Oh good,” Cayla said as she closed her eyes and flopped back to lie on the bed beside Aurora. “I do not think I can fight a goddess and win.”
Aurora snorted next to her and opened her mouth to add something, but before she could say a word, there was a loud knock at the door.
“Yes?” I called out as I grabbed my pistol.
“Mornin’,” Serlo called as he pushed the door open. “I was wonderin’--“
“We are naked!” I shouted since it was the truth, but I also didn’t want him to come in and see my stickman walking around.
“Oops, sorry!” Serlo quickly grunted, and then he swung the door closed again. “Just wonderin’ if you folks were wantin’ some breakfast. No rush or nothin’ though.”
“We’ll be down in a moment,” I called through the door. “Thanks.”
“Welcome,” the bartender coughed, and then we listened to his heavy footsteps clop back down the stairs.
I turned and looked back at Aurora and Cayla. The three of us stared at each other for a long and silent moment, and then we burst out laughing in unison.
“This has certainly been a day,” Cayla gasped between bouts of laughter, “and we have not even made it out of bed yet.”
“I try to keep things as exciting as possible,” I replied with a roguish grin, “but before I rend your reality even further, why don’t we go down and see if Serlo has some eggs? I don’t mean to brag, but I make a mean omelet.”
I paused for dramatic effect and waggled my eyebrows. “You might even call it divine.”
Aurora groaned at the bad pun and tossed a pillow at my head.
Chapter 4
By noon, we were fed, packed, and ready to depart from the town of Keld.
“Ya sure ya don’t wanna stay one more night?” Serlo asked as he walked us out of The Prairie Inn. “Ya did a lot of work yesterday. Don’t yer body need more rest?”
“I’ll be fine,” I assured the bartender with a grin. “I bounce back pretty quickly. In fact, I barely even feel sore today.”
To prove my point, I jogged in place and shadowboxed for a moment. I wasn’t lying. My body did feel great this morning. I didn’t know if it was Nemris’ doing or just getting a good night’s sleep after an honest day’s work protecting the people of Cedis. Either way, I felt like I could run to Eyton at this point.
“Alright, alright,” Serlo chuckled as he dodged my playful jabs. “I ain’t fixin’ to fight ya. Don’t want ya keelin’ over on down the road.”
“We’ll be sure to keep him upright,” Aurora replied as she tossed her blue hair over her shoulder. “Do not worry. We are well versed in saving Mason from himself.”
Cayla giggled on the other side of the half-elf, but then she quickly dropped her head again when she realized how many people had gathered around Bobbie 2.0 twenty feet in front of us.
Serlo squinted sidelong at the princess for a moment as if he was still trying to place her. We couldn’t have that, so I chuckled loudly and turned to Aurora to draw the bartender’s attention.
“What would I do without you?” I said as I slung my arm over the Ignis Mage’s shoulder.
“You would fall on your ass a lot,” Aurora replied, and a smirk tugged at her mouth.
“And I wouldn’t even have anyone to kiss it better,” I shot back with a wide grin. “That sounds like a terrible way to live.”
The half-elf rolled her eyes, but then she pressed herself against my side and wrapped her arm around my back. “I guess that means we are stuck with each other.”
“Guess so,” I said, and then I bent down and pressed a kiss to the top of her blue head. “I think I’m okay with that though.”
Aurora squeezed my hip but didn’t respond as we drew up to the crowd that surrounded our bike.
“Outta the way, ya rubbernecks,” Serlo groused as he waved his arms at his fellow townsfolk. “These folk got some important business to attend to.”
The people grumbled, but they parted before us like the Red Sea, and my beautiful Bobbie came into view.
“Good morning, girl,” I cooed as I ran my hand over her warm handlebars. “Did you have a good night?”
“Ignore him,” I heard Aurora tell Serlo over my shoulder. “He loves that contraption more than can be understood.”
“With good reason,” I said as I patted Bobbie’s seat and turned around to face them. “She has been nothing but loyal and faithful so far.”
“What is it?” Serlo asked as his gnarled brows furrowed, “or she or whatever ya call it.”
It took me a moment to remember that Serlo had been inside his bar and that he hadn’t seen us himself when we drove into town.
“This is Bobbie,” I replied with a broad grin. “She is our trusty mechanical steed.”
“That ain’t no horse,” the bartender scoffed as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“No, but it is our mode of transportation,” I responded. “You’ll see once we start her up.”
“Uh-huh,” Serlo said, unconvinced, but then his eyes drifted to Cayla as she started to stow our provisions in the saddlebags. He narrowed his eyes again, and I was worried that he was close to recognizing the princess, but then he turned back to me and clicked his tongue.
“So whatcha want us to do with the prisoners?” he asked as he jerked his head toward a building down the road.
The bartender had told us that it used to be the blacksmith’s shop before he met his untimely demise at the hands of the bandits. Now, they were using it as a makeshift jail for the two I had caught yesterday.
“I’ll leave their fate up to you,” I told Serlo with a shrug. “They’re of no use to me, and I think justice should be dealt by the afflicted, don’t you?”
After I had finished my dinner last night, I had interrogated the two men for nearly an hour, even though I was practically dead on my feet by that point. The bandits were by no means smart since it obviously didn’t take a big IQ to rob and murder, but they were in fact loyal. No matter what I said or threatened, they kept their mouths sealed about their Boss. Even when I got a little rough with them, they just spat blood onto the wooden floor and glared up at me, but they disclosed no secrets. Not where the Boss was, not what he was planning, nothing. I had considered starting in on their fingers and toes, but outright torture, especially of unarmed and subdued men, didn’t sit right with me.
By the dark grin that spread across Serlo’s face, I didn’t think he shared my same principles, but who was I to judge? If my town was overrun and my friends killed, I’d want my pound of flesh, too.
“I think we can manage handlin’ those two,” the bartender grunted, and then he hacked loudly and spat to the side.
“I know you can,” I replied as I reached out and clapped him on the shoulder. “Hopefully, those will be the last bandits you have to deal with.”
“We’ll see,” Serlo grumbled, “I wouldn’t put it past Camus Dred to take a detour through hell round our new wall and pop up in the center of town, spoutin’ fire and brimstone.”
“Sounds like a nice guy,” I muttered, but then I squeezed Serlo’s shoulder and grinned. “I’ll tell him you said hello right before I blow his brains out, how about that?”
The bartender threw back his head and barked a laugh. “I think that sounds like a mighty fine plan.”
“Mason,” Aurora said as she stepped up beside me an
d brushed my arm. “Everything is packed. We’re ready to go.”
“I’ll be there in just a moment,” I replied.
The half-elf nodded, and then she looked to Serlo. “Thank you for your hospitality, Mr. Hammund.”
“Don’t know what kind of fancy etiquette ya got in Illaria, but here in Keld, Serlo will do just fine,” the bartender responded as he held out his arm to Aurora. “And there ain’t nothin’ to thank me for. Y’all are the ones who swooped in here and saved us. We’re indebted to ya.”
“We are simply doing our job,” the Ignis Mage replied, but a soft smile stretched across her face. “Though it is nice to be appreciated, Serlo.”
“Well, we’ll be appreciatin’ ya every time we take a sip of water,” the bartender said as he gestured to the now working pump. A woman with a babe strapped across her chest was currently filling up a bucket, and when the clear water gushed from the spout, abject relief overtook her face.
“Then consider your debt cleared,” Aurora responded as she dropped Serlo’s hand. Then she looked back at me and added, “We should really get going, Mason.”
“I know, just give me one more second,” I cajoled with a smile.
The half-elf quirked an eyebrow at me, but then she turned and joined Cayla next to Bobbie 2.0.
“I guess this is it,” I said to Serlo as I held my own hand out to him. “Thank you again for the food and ale. From what I’m told, we still have a ways to go to reach Eyton.”
“Aye, you do,” the bartender replied as he shook my hand. “Keep yer eyes peeled and yer wits about ya. Those bandits like to set booby-traps along the road.”
“Duly noted,” I said with a nod as I let go of his hand. “Take care of yourself, and I would shore up those gates when you get the chance. I’d also consider posting sentries above them during the night. The wall itself might be difficult to climb, but the wooden gates will have a lot of footholds.”
“Don’t ya worry,” the bartender chuckled, “we already got plans in motion for all of that. We’ll be fine.”
“Glad to hear,” I said, but before I could add anything more, Serlo cut me off.
“Ya watch out for those lovely ladies, too, ya hear?” the bartender said as he met my gaze head on. He had a strange intensity to his eyes.
“Oh, I will,” I replied with a grin, “but Aurora can take care of herself.”
“I’m sure,” Serlo grunted, “but I was more referrin’ to the other one. She has a very pretty face, and I don’t reckon King Davit wants to see it get bruised.”
I blinked in shock, and my heart skipped a beat. “W-what? I don’t know what you’re talk--“
“I ain’t blind, son,” Serlo said as he raised an eyebrow, “and I ain’t stupid. She might’ve cut her hair and put on an outfit a princess usually wouldn’t be caught dead in, but she still carries herself like a noble.”
“Are you planning on saying anything?” I asked as adrenaline started to leak into my bloodstream.
“I ain’t ungrateful neither,” the bartender muttered. “I wasn’t plannin’ on sayin’ nothin’. I just thought y’all should know her disguise would only fool an idiot, but yer in luck because this kingdom’s full of ‘em.”
I winced. “Well, thank you. Our journey is hard enough without a bounty on our heads.”
“No kiddin’,” Serlo chuckled as his eyes drifted over my shoulder to Cayla again. “Now, as I said yesterday, I ain’t no fan of the king, but if he sent his only daughter to find you, through bandit country no less… well, maybe he ain’t a spineless dolt like I thought.”
“If he’s anything like his daughter,” I replied with a smile, “then we should have your kingdom free of bandits within weeks. Once we’re finished in Cedis, we’ll have to travel back through here to reach Illaria. I’ll stop in for a pint.”
“I’ll hold you to that, son,” the bartender said as he grinned. “Now, git on outta here. Yer burnin’ daylight.”
“Yes, sir,” I chuckled and gave him a quick salute before I turned on my heel and strode up to my three lovely women.
“Ready to hit the road?” I asked.
“We were waiting on you,” Aurora replied and crossed her arms over her chest.
“I was actually talking to Bobbie,” I said with a wink, “but good to know you’re ready, too.”
Aurora rolled her eyes and swung her leg over the bike. She scooted forward as I slid in behind her, and then I felt Cayla’s arms wrap around my waist as she took the last seat.
“Alright, fire her up,” I declared as I hooked my chin over Aurora’s shoulder.
The half-elf glanced back at me and cocked an eyebrow. “Aren’t you forgetting something, Mason?” Then her eyes drifted down pointedly to the stone that encased the rear tire.
“Oops,” I replied as I summoned up a little magic. “My bad.”
The rock shuddered around the metallic wheel before it cracked open like an egg. The two halves of the stone fell away from the tire, and I willed it to return to dirt. A moment later, the ground was smooth and unblemished beneath us, like nothing had ever happened.
“Take two,” I chuckled. “Let’s try that again.”
Aurora turned back around to face forward, and then she reached out her hand to place it over the ignition port. I felt the static of her magic zap through the air, and then the engine growled to life beneath us like a triumphant lioness ready to run.
I reached out and grasped the handlebars, and then I toggled the throttle. Bobbie 2.0 let loose a loud roar, and the vibrations traveled from my toes all the way to the top of my head. A wild grin split my face.
Damn did I love that sound.
“Hold on tight,” I shouted to Aurora and Cayla as I disengaged the brake and shifted the bike into gear.
Just before I gunned the throttle, I glanced up at Serlo. His eyes were wide, and beneath his scraggly beard, his jaw gaped wide open. Finally, after everything I had done in Keld, I found something to impress the old bartender.
“I’ll be back for that pint!” I called to Serlo over the clamor of the engine.
Then I cranked my wrist back, Bobbie 2.0 shot forward over the dirt, and then we tore down the road as dust billowed in our wake.
The people of Keld were smart enough to keep close to the buildings as we flew past. The great wall that I had constructed and the gate quickly rushed toward us. Atop the wall, I saw several men scramble to pull the huge, wooden, double doors open, and they slowly, very slowly, began to scrape across the dirt.
“Mason, I think you should slow down,” Cayla called over the roar of the wind.
Aurora began to lessen her fire output, but I reached down and squeezed her hip.
“Don’t,” I told the Ignis Mage. “We’ll make it. The doors are almost open.”
The half-elf didn’t respond, but Bobbie regained her speed beneath us, and we rocketed toward the gates of Keld. The empty space between them was maybe two feet wide, but beyond I caught a glimpse of blue sky and green fields. With a grin, I revved the engine harder.
“Maaaason,” Cayla yelled again, and her voice rose in pitch as she dragged my name out. “We’re going to crash!”
“No, we won’t,” I shouted back as her arms tightened like boa constrictors around my ribs. “Trust me!”
Cayla whimpered and buried her face in my back.
Aurora seemed to trust me though because the engine did not falter as we came within twenty yards of the gates. I glanced in the side mirror and saw that a wild smile was plastered across the half-elf’s face.
Then I lifted my head and saw that the gap between the gates had widened to about four feet wide. The men along the wall above us shouted down warnings, but there was no need.
I gunned the engine, Cayla screamed behind me, but then we tore through the gap between the gates with inches to spare.
“Hell yeah,” I shouted to the sky, and Aurora let out her own fierce and triumphant cry.
“Do not do that ever again,�
� Cayla yelled in my ear.
“Yes, Your Highness,” I laughed, and then we soared down the open road deeper into Cedis.
We drove for several hours but came across no new towns. There were only farms and homesteads along the distant horizon. And fields, endless fields of grass and wheat and corn and other crops I couldn’t identify as we pushed fifty miles an hour.
In the middle of the afternoon, we pulled over under a copse of thin trees to stretch our legs and eat some of Serlo’s provisions. I sat down with my back against a tree trunk, and Aurora and Cayla knelt to the ground opposite me. The princess dug through the saddlebags and then passed out a ration of meat, bread, and hard cheese.
“Thank you,” I said, my eyes locked on the food, but then Cayla let out a high-pitched gasp.
I jerked my head up, and my fingers twitched toward my revolver, but I only found Cayla grinning down into her hand at the small silver stick figure.
“Don’t do that,” I grumbled as I rubbed at my pounding heart.
“Sorry,” she apologized as she turned to face me fully, “I forgot he was in there. He startled me.”
The little stickman waddled across her hand and then sort of fell onto his butt on the edge of her palm. After Nemris had departed this morning, I had considered rendering the stick figure lifeless again, but Cayla and Aurora had taken a shine to him, and it also felt a little rude to bring the little guy to life and essentially kill him twice in two days. So, I stowed him in my saddlebags with the rest of our supplies, and in the rush of leaving Keld, he had slipped my mind.
“How is something with no facial characteristics so cute?” Aurora said with a warm smile as she leaned forward and ran her finger across the stickman’s bearing ball-shaped head.
“We should give him a name,” Cayla replied excitedly, and she looked up at me with a grin.
“You think?” I chuckled as I peered at the stick figure.
“Absolutely,” the princess nodded firmly.
“Alright then,” I said with a grin, and I held out my hand for the little guy. “Let me see him.”
Cayla slid him into my hand, and he craned his smooth silver head to look up into my face.
