“You must be feeling really good,” Rodney replied, turning down their street.
Susan couldn’t get in the house fast enough, tugging at his belt as she led him to the door. It felt like they were newlyweds again. Rodney’s conscience was holding him back from completely enjoying the Susan before him. His love for her made him put up blinders, ignoring the warnings that this was totally out of character for the woman she had become. She had reverted back to playful, loving, and fun Susan that made him crazy in love. The naive side of him went with it - there were success stories with addicts. Maybe she’d be one. One session down and she was in a good mood. That was an excellent sign.
Kicking the door shut behind them, Susan pushed him against the wall and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. He felt his arousal grow in his jeans - a new feeling he hadn’t experienced in a long time. Parting her lips, his tongue dipped between her teeth, tasting her. A low moan escaped from here throat and again, she pulled at his belt, beckoning him down the hall toward their bedroom.
It was an unknown room to Rodney. He hadn’t slept in the same bed as her for weeks. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Susan reached for his belt, tugging it through each belt loop until it was off. Looking up at him, she looked sexy, her green eyes trained right on his. Was she back? He couldn’t get his hopes up but maybe this was a step in the right direction to rekindle their marriage. One thing they always had going for them - the sex was incredible.
Unbuttoning his pants, she clenched his zipper in her teeth and edged it down, pulling his jeans down over his hips. Caressing him over his boxers, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of her fingers and the friction of the fabric against him. It had been too long and he was ready. The anticipation was killing him but pacing it was for the best. It also gave him a chance to back out of this - his desire to stay with her trumped the anger he felt for all of the problems she had put the family through.
Freeing him from his boxers, her hand cupped him, stroking every inch he had to offer her. He was rock hard in her palm, on the verge of finishing before they even got started.
The warmth of her mouth replaced the cold air in the room. A guttural moan escaped his throat and he held her hair back as she took him in. Standing before her, she sat on the edge of the bed and his hips thrust forward from the ecstasy she was providing with her mouth.
“Susan…” He was barely able to get her name out. “I’m… please stop.” If she didn’t release him he’d be done and he wasn’t ready for that yet.
Backing away, he gently pushed her back on the bed. She pulled her blouse over her head, her lacy bra a perfect contrast against her alabaster skin. Her nipples were erect and ready and he unclasped the lingerie, pinching her left breast. She clenched her teeth and hissed, grasping his necklace to pull him closer, planting another deep kiss on his lips.
Rodney’s hand moved downward, sliding against her above her jeans. She wasted no time in getting out of them, throwing them on his pile of discarded clothes in the corner. Lying naked under him, he dipped his head between her thighs and tasted her most intimate area, remembering how good it used to be. Her legs tightened around his head and her fingers fanned through his hair, sending a chill down his spine as he tormented her with his tongue.
“Rod…” She spoke in quick pants, her midsection shooting upward off of the bed. He rested his forearm across her stomach to hold her down, continuing to lap at her intimate area. “Rodney, ahhh…”
Lifting his head, he scooted off the edge of the bed and rummaged through the nightstand for a condom. He wasn’t even sure if he had any - it had been so long since they were on this level of intimacy that he didn’t even need to buy any. He found a box toward the back of the drawer with three left in it and slipped one on, spreading Susan’s legs as far as they would go. She looked up at him and bit her bottom lip, ready to take him.
“It can be like this from here on out, Rodney.”
“So bad do I want to believe you, Susan.” He rested his arousal right at her entrance, slipping the tip in and pulling out. He still hesitated but it was too late to go back now. He wanted this bad. He wanted it more than anything else.
She opened her mouth to reply but Rodney didn’t give her a chance. Plunging as deep as he could go, his hips crashed into hers, the sensual embrace almost too much for him. She let out a gasp as he moved in and out, slow at first, picking up the pace with each pulse. Propping himself up on his elbows, they moved together until he finished, collapsing on her. Burying his face in her neck, he nipped at her collarbone, unwilling to completely pull out.
“You believe me, Rodney.” She whispered in his ear, her breath warm on his ear.
Lifting his head to look in her eye, he asked, “What do you mean?”
“You believe my apology. You believe we’ll get back to the way things were.”
“I want to believe you.”
She cupped his cheek and ran her thumb over his lips. “Oh hon, if you didn’t believe me you’d have never done this. The sex is still there. I know you feel it.”
Sliding off of her, he rolled on his back and stared up at the ceiling. “What’s next, Susan? Where do we go from here?”
“Start by getting dressed. Justin will be home soon. The bus drops them off in a few minutes.” She patted his chest and sat up. “Toss me my bra while you’re at it.”
Gathering up their clothes, Rodney checked himself in the mirror. Smoothing his hair down, he studied his reflection. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Only it had been well over two times. History did repeat itself. Damn it. Why was he thinking about this right now?
“It feels like we’re having an affair and you’re rushing me out of the house.” Glancing at her over his shoulder, he forced a smile. It was like a light switch had been flipped off and she was a completely different person than just a bit ago.
“Don’t be silly. Leave me some cash on the dresser. I need to pick up a few things at Walgreens.”
“I asked you before we came home if you needed anything, Susan.” Had he just been manipulated? Her playful, apologetic mood was replaced with her sly, controlling ways that always got them both into trouble. It happened like clockwork and was easily identifiable. No! He couldn’t deal with that. This was them, still in love, saving their marriage. That’s what this was all about. He couldn’t deal with being used again.
“I forgot I needed a few things. And I think we better stock up on condoms.” She lifted the wrapper from the bedspread and laughed, waving it in front of him. “Lord knows we don’t need to have another kid running around here.”
“What do you need and I’ll go get it? You should probably rest. I don’t think the doctor wanted you to get so physical this soon out of the hospital. Just write me a list. I don’t mind running down there real quick.”
“Are you kidding me, Rodney? I know you don’t want to leave Justin alone with me.”
Sitting on the edge of the bed, he slipped his shirt over his head and attempted to choose his words wisely. “I’ll take him with me. You say he’ll be home in a few minutes. I can take him to get some ice cream while we’re out. He’ll enjoy that. You want anything? Rocky road in a waffle bowl?”
It was his desperate attempt to keep her calm - this wasn’t happening. She wasn’t trying this with him again. Diverting her attention might get her mind off of her desire to get cash from him. Who was Rodney kidding? He was a damn fool - A strong man easily brought down by Susan’s manipulation. How could she do it so well? She was his kryptonite.
Susan stuck her hand out, her smile fading, the anger back on her face within a split second. It was a complete mood change that confirmed that she had no intention of rekindling their broken relationship. “Give me the money, Rodney. I need fresh air. I haven’t gone out on my own and I need some time by myself.”
Rodney stood up and edged toward the door, shaking his head. The last time he had left her with money, he came home to her unrespon
sive on the couch with a half bottle of whiskey gone. “I can’t do that, Susan.”
“I’ve got my own cash. I don’t need your charity! You’re seriously not gonna give me any money? I just gave you a blowjob!” She raised her voice loud enough that if their neighbors were outside, they’d be able to hear her.
“So you’re a hooker? Is that what you’re saying? You’ll give sexual favors out in return for cash?” It wasn’t the right thing to say to her but Rodney had no filter left. He had to say what he meant. No more holding back. “You must think I’m stupid. You had me right where you wanted, thinking you could persuade me with sex.” It was partly his fault. His instincts screamed at him to not go through with it but yet again, his brain’s desire to keep the family together killed the heart’s warnings to flee.
“How dare you call me a hooker!” Susan kicked her legs off the side of the bed, still naked from the waist down. Grabbing her panties, she pulled them on and approached him, prodding her finger in his chest. “You son of a bitch! I just want some cash for a few things at the pharmacy! I told you I’m changing and you still don’t trust me! I can’t even go to the store alone!”
“I didn’t call you a hooker, Susan. You did that to yourself, like I owe you for servicing me or something. You not telling me what you need is a little suspect. And no, I don’t trust you. If you honestly need stuff, you wouldn’t have a problem telling me what it is. You ended up in the hospital the last time I fell for your lies about needing stuff from the store.” He made quotation marks with his fingers, purposely being sarcastic with her.
Tears streamed down her face and she slammed her body down on the bed, burying her face in the pillows. “Get the hell away from me, Rodney!”
“I’m not going to aid in another one of your benders. You want cash for booze and pills. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. I guess that first therapy session wasn’t near as effective as you led me to believe, was it?”
The screen door squeaked open, signaling that Justin had made it home from school. The fight had to end immediately - if it took everything Rodney had, he’d shelter Justin from seeing anymore fighting between them.
“I’m taking Justin out for a little bit. I suggest you calm down before we get back, Susan. You might also think about going to an AA or NA meeting before you do something you’re gonna regret.” Leaving her alone might have been a mistake - she could get her hands on what she wanted but at least this time, Rodney wasn’t providing the money or the alcohol to contribute to it. Carol’s words echoed in his mind - sometimes they have to hit rock bottom before they truly realize they need help. Maybe this would be Susan’s rock bottom. Hearing the word ‘no’ might do her some good.
She didn’t respond and Rodney wasn’t going to beg for her to say something. Hurrying into the living room, he pulled Justin in for a hug. “Go grab your glove. We’re gonna go play some catch at the park. How’s that sound?”
It was all the convincing his son needed. Fresh air would be great for both of them.
Chapter Eight
A few days had passed since Rodney and Susan’s latest fight. He went through the motions for the sake of Justin and for one last glimmer of hope that Susan really was sticking to her therapy. She went at the same time each day to meet with her therapist and in that time, neither spoke much to each other. Something still felt off with her but she wouldn’t allow him close to her. When asked how things were going, her answers were vague. She couldn’t even look him in the eye and he couldn’t decipher if it was from her being up to something, or if she was legitimately ashamed at what she had put him through.
Rodney found himself sticking his head deeper into work, his one escape from home life. Carol continued to be a Godsend, keeping Justin after school on days he couldn’t get home early. Susan made no effort to want to be around him so he didn’t worry about hurting her feelings when it came to being alone with their child.
Emotionally, he didn’t have much left in him.
“Go on home, Rodney. You’ve been putting in twelve hour days. We’ve gotten two roofs replaced in half the time. Hell, I should suggest you take a day or two off.” His boss patted him on the shoulder as they walked out to their vehicles.
“Nah, I don’t need a day off.”
“Is everything okay?”
Rodney debated on how much information to give his boss but he had always been a friend. Now wasn’t the time or place to let it out and he didn’t want sympathy. It was his mess and he’d deal with it. “Just don’t want to go home right now. Not much else to it.”
“I understand that. I think we all to through that every now and then. Get some rest, Rodney. I appreciate you.”
Rodney waved and got in his truck, taking a deep breath before he put the truck in gear. He called Carol, making a mental note that he owed her big time for all of the favors and help.
“Hello?”
“I’m on my way home. How’s everything?”
Rain began to fall, dripping on the windshield. Flipping his windshield wipers on, an unsettling feeling rested in the pit of Rodney’s stomach. Nausea hit him hard and his saliva glands kicked into high gear. Carol’s pause to answer his question was a good indication that something wasn’t quite right.
“She left about an hour ago, Rodney.”
“She left? Where’d she go?”
“She grabbed her car keys, said she had some errands, and left. She’s not back yet. I’m finishing up Justin’s supper right now.”
“I’ll try and call her. Thanks, Carol. Be home in a few.”
Ending the call, he dialed Susan’s number but it went straight to voicemail. Attempting the call again, he got the same result. Throwing the phone on his dashboard, he slammed his fist on the steering wheel and clenched his jaw.
“Son of a bitch!”
The drive home took a few minutes longer due to the weather but when he pulled into the drive, the same nauseous feeling hit him blindside. Susan’s car wasn’t there. And she still wasn’t answering her phone. Dashing through the rain, he took the stairs two at a time up the porch and kicked his shoes off when he got into the entryway. Justin was at the table, slurping up some spaghetti and Carol was cleaning the kitchen.
“Daddy!” His son smiled brightly, oblivious to all of the hell taking place around him. Rodney longed for that innocence.
“Hey, son.”
Carol shook her head. “Nothing?”
“Nothing,” Rodney repeated. Getting out of earshot of Justin, he asked, “What time did she leave?”
“Four thirty or so.”
“It’s six fifteen now. Shit. And she didn’t say where she was going?”
“Not a word,” Carol confirmed. “Maybe she just needed some fresh air. She has been cooped up in this house for a while. She’s only been to see her therapist and back.”
Rodney shook his head and laughed, though he wasn’t amused. “No. I’m done with that. I’m done trying to think the best. I hate to ask this, but can you do me one more favor tonight?” He held his finger up, looking back at the kitchen table. Justin had made a mess with the sauce, playing with the noodles more than actually eating them.
“Sure, anything, Rodney. What’s up?”
“Take Justin back to your place. I’ll pack some clothes just in case.”
“What are you thinking, Rodney? What’s going on?”
He went back to Justin’s room and Carol followed. Grabbing a bag, he put in some pajamas, socks, underwear, and an extra set of clothes. “He might not need to stay overnight but I’ll give you all this just in case. Please, Carol…”
“Don’t do something crazy, Rodney.”
“I don’t want him here tonight when she comes back. He’s seen enough…” Rodney trailed off, his emotions catching in his throat. Warmth gathered in the corners of his eyes. “I won’t do something stupid. I’ll call you later and let you know.”
“I’m sorry my sister is putting you through this.”
; “Quit apologizing for her. None of this is your fault. You’ve been amazing through it all. Go ahead and take him. I don’t want him here and I don’t know when she’s coming back.”
Carol took the bag from Rodney and went back to the kitchen. Rodney followed, smiling to try and hide his frustration. Justin would know something is up just from the abrupt decision to go home with Carol, especially since it was a school night. He wet a paper towel and wiped off Justin’s face. The kid had always been a messy eater.
“Dang, kid, I think you’re wearing more of that sauce than you ate. You’re gonna need a bath.”
“I wanna play with my boats in the tub. Can I?” Justin’s eyes lit up with excitement and he bounced up and down. It was about the only way to get him to clean up.
“Sure, I’ll get your toys and Aunt Carol will let you do that at her house. You’re gonna go over there for a little bit tonight. You wanna hang out with Aunt Carol and Uncle Jim?”
“Yeah!”
Shocked that there was no push back from Justin, Rodney finished gathering his toys and stuffed them in the small bag, flashing an apologetic glance at Carol. She gladly took Justin’s belongings and followed him tot he porch. Justin was jabbering about a million different things. Rodney’s stomach churned - he could feel the acid come up to his throat. This was going to be the hardest thing he ever had to do but seeing Justin happy pushed him to get it done.
“Call me later, Rodney. Things are going to be okay.”
“I know. Thanks again.”
Rodney stood out on the porch, watching Carol’s car drive off until he could no longer see it. The mist from the rain hit his face, the cool air rejuvenating. The fresh air made him relax and he had to remind himself to take deep breaths. The last thing he needed to do at that moment was lose his cool. Keeping a level head would help him say what he needed to without his judgment getting clouded with anger.
Never Let You Go: Save Me Series Book 2 Page 5
