by Sadie Grubor
The room was starting to dim, which meant evening was approaching. I reached behind me and turned on the lamp. That was when I heard a noise. I grabbed the wires to my ear buds and yanked.
'Knock' 'Knock' 'Knock'
My head snapped toward my door. I placed my laptop and outline on the coffee table before I stood and walked to the door. The knocking started again.
"Yes?" I opened the door and was greeted by the glazed eyes of Dr. Bishop.
The eyes were familiar from the drunken night he showed up, but the expression on his face wasn't as intense as that night. There was a sadness and need in his face. I pulled the door all the way open and motioned for him to enter. He didn't move.
"What if she doesn't bring her back?" He sounded defeated and lost.
"I'm sure she will bring her home tomorrow." I tried to sound reassuring, but I would be lying if I didn't admit to having already had the same thought cross my mind.
"How can you be so sure?" His eyes narrowed on me.
I sighed.
"I guess I can't be. Why don't you call and check on her?"
He walked into my room toward the couch and sat down.
"Do you think I should?"
"I think that you have the right to check on Victoria?"
"How are you so calm?" He looked at me with a longing I had never seen on his face. "I saw the way you were when she was leaving."
I sighed out heavily and sat down on the couch next to him, leaving ample space between us.
"I've been trying to keep my mind off of it," I shrugged. Then I turned my head to look at him. Big mistake.
My eyes were caught in his. The intensity in them felt like fire burning me deep into my soul. My breathing hitched.
"Why do I feel like this?"
"You miss her." I whispered out.
He shook his head. "Not that. Why do I feel like this with you?"
"Um, Dr. Bishop, I think maybe you should go." I choked out the words, but couldn't pull out of his stare.
My mind told me to stand up, get away – danger, danger, grab the nearest bible, but I couldn't comply. He moved, breaking the trance. My relief was short lived. He now knelt in front of me – between my legs.
"I can't go." His hands pressed into the leather on either side of my thighs. "You have to feel it. It's almost too much to handle. And when I'm this close to you it is," his words revealed something close to pain, "torture."
I swallowed the large lump that grew with each movement and each word he spoke.
"What is it about you?" His eyes dropped the trancelike state and searched around my face.
"There isn't anything about me." I whispered, leaning back into the couch – trying to create more space between us.
"You're wrong." He leaned closer, hovering over the length of me.
"You're crossing a line."
"Fuck the line." His body pressed to mine and his warm mouth conquered my lips.
Chapter Sixteen
One hand latched to my hip and he pressed his entire body against me, firmly. The weight of his body surprised me at first and he gained access to my gasping mouth. His tongue moved fluidly and his lips were rhythmic. There was nothing I could do except bend to his will. Closing my eyes, I let myself go.
Sliding one hand up his chest and around the back of his neck, I matched every movement his lips made. Snaking my free hand around his side, I rested it low on his waist. Eventually I needed to breathe. Tilting my head back I tried to catch my breath.
With my eyes clenched tightly shut, my body arched into his ministrations. When I finally got brave enough to open them I was locked in the intensity of his eyes. I could feel the heavy rise and fall of his chest against mine and it made me ache for him to get closer to me.
We stayed locked in the trance until his phone buzzed in his pocket. At first, neither of us moved or said a word. After the fourth buzz he pulled his eyes away and sat back on his heels, pulling his phone out of his pocket and looking at the screen.
The shame of my wanton behavior crept over me. I internally screamed at myself for being so weak and shifted in an attempt to remove myself from the position we were currently in. However, Dr. Bishop quickly turned his attention away from his phone and narrowed his eyes on me. I froze. He tossed his phone on the coffee table behind him and leaned back down to me.
My hands impulsively moved to his chest to discourage his move, but it was a feeble attempt. I wanted him and my body was revolting against any common sense I had. He kissed my mouth and then moved over my jaw to my neck, both of our breathing increasing with each touch of our skin.
My fingers knotted at the back of his head. His hair was thick and softer than I thought. He growled and grabbed both of my hips. I moaned when he sucked at the juncture between my shoulder and neck. His grip tightened on me and pulled my hips toward him.
His hips grazed the inside of my thighs as he pressed forward. When his hardened length met my anxious center I rotated my hips forward. I wanted friction. He gave it to me by meeting each rotation.
Soon I could feel the edge of the couch digging into my butt, barely remaining on the cushion. With my head tossed back and my spine arched, my forehead almost met the back cushions. His lips felt like fiery licks against my skin and euphoria filled my senses. Our thrusting increased and soon I felt the burning tingle building inside me.
Dr. Bishop's lips were still against my skin, but in place of sucking and kissing I could feel the wide O shape his mouth had formed. His heated breaths escaped across my skin in heavy pants.
As his panting grew into groans, he picked up pace. I felt the tingle coil into one large bubble of ecstasy. The moment he rubbed over my throbbing nerves, the bubble burst and my head buried into his shoulder, trying to muffle my as my body convulsed in satisfaction.
He pressed on toward his own frantic release, each cloth covered thrust into me causing another pleasurable wave to pulse out of me. Both of my hands found his hair again and gripped tighter. I pulled his head from my neck and crashed our lips together.
Dr. Bishop moaned into my mouth, which was followed by a grunt and a groan. He broke the kiss and dropped his head to my chest. His hips were lightly grinding against me as we calmed.
The euphoria ended and reality of the hot, sweaty mess we had become sunk in. I tensed up and felt him tighten his arms around me.
"Oh god."
Slipping my hands from the resting place of his shoulders, I covered my face. Thoughts about what just happened and the consequences flooded my mind. Dr. Bishop move off of me and I wanted to slip away to a dark corner. I had become the live in whore. Shit!
Impatiently I waited for him to move from between my legs, but he didn't. Instead his hands press against my thighs before sliding over my pelvic bone, ribs, and slowly progressing over my breasts. A shiver escaped at the feel of his hands on me, but I couldn't remove my hands from my face.
Soon his hands found my shoulders, slid up my arms until he stopped at my wrists. Taking them into his hands and pulling me to a seated position, he removed them from my face. I couldn't look at him, afraid of what I would see there; disgust, more confusing tension, a glare, or more want. Out of them all, I feared seeing want the most.
"Look at me." The cold tone wasn't there, but it was definitely a direct order.
I shook my head. "Just go, it didn't happen." I whispered out, self-disgusted washing over me.
The release of his heavy annoyed sigh made me tense up. I held my breath, waiting for the inevitable.
"I'm not going."
Releasing the breath, I opened my eyes.
"It shouldn't have happened." I shook my head and met his glare. Yeah, he was definitely glaring. "It's a risk that could cost—"
Both of his hands were on each side of my face in a flash and his lips were on mine. I was completely melting again. He pulled away. Slowly I opened my eyes to and looked at him again.
"I agree it isn't the best timing." He stated firmly and
pursed his lips. "Regardless, I won't give you up." I furrowed my brow at him and started to shake my head. As I was about to speak, he covered my mouth with his hand. "I have fought this for so long. Going back is not an option now."
"But Victoria, the custody case –?"
"I will have to figure that out, but I w —"
"No, no, no." I shook my head violently and pulled his hands from my face.
"Nothing…serious happened here," I motioned between the two of us, "so no one has to know and it won't happen again."
His face hardened.
"Nothing happened here?" His cold and hard tone was back.
I shook my head.
"Sophia, I just fucking dry humped you on this couch. You call that nothing?" He narrowed his eyes on me.
"But it wasn't sex and it can be prevented from—"
"I told you before. I've been fighting this for a long time. I can't go back to fighting it." The intensity of his cold emerald eyes returned. "I'm not that strong of a man."
I swallowed hard, but said nothing. I was on the verge of tears. What have I done? I've ruined everything for Victoria that's what I've done. Suddenly his face softened and his head dropped.
"Unless…" He didn't look back up, "Unless you don't want this?" He cleared his throat and pulled his eyes back up to mine. "If you don't want me, then I'll leave you alone." His tone was still calculated, but with a slight touch of pain.
Was he saying that he 'wanted' me? Does he want me? He doesn't know me.
"You don't even know me." I shifted my body away from him.
"I know you." His words were quick as he grabbed my thighs, stopping me from moving to far from him.
"Really?" I challenged. "What's my father's name?" I raised a brow at him.
"Richard." He looked smug.
I furrowed my brow and bit my lip.
"Favorite color?"
He smirked.
"Blue." He put his hand up before I could finish. "You are caring, kind, selfless, stubborn, a mouthy smart ass, shall I continue?"
I gasped lightly.
"How do you…know all that?"
He shrugged.
"I have my ways and I pay attention, to you, anything else?"
"Yeah," I said in a cocky tone. "I work for you. This is somewhat inappropriate, don't you think?"
He raised a brow.
"Fine, you're fired." His smug behavior seemed never ending. "Now that's taken care of—" he leaned forward toward me.
I put my hands up.
"Uh, uh, That is a direct violation of your custody terms." His eyebrows knitted close together and a heavy sigh escaped him.
"Do you really not feel this between us?" His voice dropped the smugness. My breathing hitched. He looked up quickly. "You do." His eyes narrowed. "Your silence is confirmation."
"Victoria is more important." I stated, not confirming or denying anything.
He sat back on his heels with his eyes closed.
"Yes."
"Then this can't happen." I whispered out, watching his body tense with my words.
"I know." He stated.
I swear a part of me screamed in agony at his agreeing with me. It made me realize just how much I had been denying in regards to Dr. Bishop and myself.
"But," that part immediately perked back up. He opened his eyes and looked into mine. "No one has to know." It was almost a silent breath as he said it.
I looked at him in confusion.
"So, you want me to be some secret affair?"
"No, well, yes, but just until I can get Victoria's custody arrangement taken care of." He pushed back up onto his knees in front of me and gripped my thighs.
I shook my head.
"I, I can't be that." I took a deep breath. "It's just, too much of a cliché."
"Fuck the cliché's Sophia! I want you and you want me. It won't be like this forever, just for awhile." His gripped tightened on my thighs and I flinched at the pain. He realized what he was doing and let go.
"I, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"
"I know." I said in a whisper and was finally able to pull away from our current position. As I stood up, he did too.
"It's late." My voice was so flat I barely recognized it.
I could hear the loud huff from behind me where he stood.
"Good night, Dr. Bishop." I choked out before walking into my bedroom, closing the door behind me. The tears began to form and went straight to shower therapy.
Standing under the hot water until it was too cold to stand, my brain couldn't shut off. My body still tingled from his touch and I cried half of the time I was in the shower. I was angry and disappointed with myself for jeopardizing Victoria's home. Then there was the longing and anguish from the need and want for Dr. Bishop. Ilene's slurred words came back to haunt me as I towel dried my body and my hair.
"Another live in whore, Collin, really, you don't need this trash working for you."
I flinched, she was almost right. I worked for Dr. Bishop and now had three situations under my belt that should never have happened. More if you counted forehead kissing and an intense situation while wearing a bikini. Sighing heavily I tossed the towel into the dirty laundry basket in the corner before climbing into bed.
The next morning I slept until almost eleven. When I finally realized the time, it dawned on me that Victoria should be home in just a few hours. I got up, got dressed, and headed to the kitchen for coffee. Thoughts of the previous night were pushed into the closet of denial and locked up tight. I should have been on my guard when the smell of coffee was already filling the room. I stopped short of the breakfast counter and focused in on the person sitting at the counter.
Before I could make a quiet exit she turned and looked me over. She snorted and turned back to the counter. I grimaced at her back.
"Good morning, Mrs. Bedford."
I watched her tense up and then turn around stiffly. Her eyes were a blaze with primal ferocity.
"Don't. Call. Me. That!"
Oops, I didn't even think about that.
"I apologize." I offered sincerely. "I honestly didn't –"
"I don't want your apologies." She snapped at me. "In fact, I don't want to be in the same room with you. So, GET OUT." She screamed.
At first I was going to comply, but something inside of me lit on fire.
"No." I snapped and walked toward the coffee. I grabbed a mug and poured some. While I was adding the milk and Splenda I heard the stool screech against the marble floors.
"What did you say to me?" I turned around and saw the primal anger from before.
"Allison, I realize you are having a difficult time right now, but I'm not going to leave this room simply because you command me to. Now that I have my coffee, I will leave you to yourself." I nodded and headed for the doorway.
I felt something hit me in the back, but didn't realize it was the magazine Allison had been reading until I looked down at it on the floor.
"How dare you!" She screeched. "I'll have you fired for this!"
"If that is what you wish." I sneered back to her and turned for the door.
Then I heard the smash and turned quickly to see Allison's coffee mug shattered on the floor at her feet. The remnants of her coffee puddle around the ceramic shards and her fluffy pink slippers.
"Oh Ms. Allison, did you harm yourself?" Mrs. Baker ran in and observed the damage.
"I'm fine." She snapped and Mrs. Baker froze halfway toward her.
"I, I'll just get this cleaned up." Mrs. Baker left and returned with a dustpan and a mop.
Allison and I were locked in a stare down, neither of us backing down.
"I suggest you pack your things!" She seethed at me.
"Very well," I spat.
"I can't believe you…that Collin hasn't dismissed you yet! My God, you tried to seduce my husband and now you are working your gold digging ways into my brother!" She was panting from the exertion of her screaming.
I took two steps
closer to her and set my coffee on the table nearest to me.
"I told you before that I didn't try to do anything with your husband and I never would." I snarled. "I'm not a gold digger and do not want any of YOUR family's money, especially your brother's. So back the fuck up!" I screamed and narrowed my own fiery glare on her.
"I hate you!" She screamed. "It was fine until you!" She lunged for me and Mrs. Baker screamed.
We hit the marble floor and my coffee cup shattered next to us. I grabbed her flailing arms and held them to her sides while she struggled and screamed with all her might.
"You fucking whore! Let go of me! I hate you! I hate you!" She pulled herself up and drew her knees to her chest. "I hate you! I fucking hate you! Why did you do it?" She sobbed and wrapped her arms around her shins as she rocked slowly back and forth on the cold floor. "I hate that you did this to us!" Her sobs felt like they were ripping through me and for some reason I knew she wasn't talking about me anymore, maybe she never really was.
I slowly sat next to her and, after taking a large breath, I wrapped my arms around her small balled up frame.
"Don't touch me." She struggled.
"Shh…" I tried to soothe her. "It will be okay."
Her head shot up.
"Okay? It will be okay? Are you kidding me? How the hell will it be okay?" Her face was a mixture of anger and confusion.
I pulled her tighter to my chest and this time she didn't fight, she simply huffed in irritation.
"You have two beautiful boys who love you more than you seem to realize. If they would have lost you, it would have crushed them for the rest of their lives." I felt her shudder in my arms.
"You have a family, regardless of how messed up things are right now, you have them and they love you. Even when you're crazy, they love you." She tensed in anger for a brief moment.
"And finally…" I pulled back and waited for her to look into my face, "anyone who has the energy to be such a cold righteous bitch all the time, has the energy to get past this and come out stronger." She sniffed once and then sat silently.
"Oh god, what happened?" Larissa entered, surveyed the room and hurried to Allison. "I was gone for two hours, Allison. Two hours." Larissa looked panicked.
"It's fine." Allison pushed away from me and looked at Larissa as she wiped her face on her cashmere sleeve. "I'm fine." She took a deep breath and stood, straightening out her coffee stained clothes. Allison looked at me for a brief moment when I stood from the floor before turning and leaving the room.
