“So, it’s true?”
“Yeah.”
“You lucky bitch,” Kendall whined.
“Seriously? I’ll trade with you. I’d much rather be back on my tower tomorrow.”
“Oh please! Quit pretending that boy doesn’t drench your clam.”
“Kendall!”
“What? I’d let him set my lady parts on fire any day.”
“Ya know what? Out,” Jo said, hands on her hips. “If that’s all you came here to say you can leave.”
“I’m just playing.”
“Well I’m not! I’ve had more than enough today. I’m done, so out,” she said again, pointing to the door.
“Christ, what crawled up your ass?” Kendall grumbled.
“Are you kidding me? You were there today! You of all people should get why I’m having a shitty day. He almost died today!” A sob snuck out of Jo and she felt her resolve cracking.
Everything she’d held back today—everything she’d held back for three years—rose to the surface as tears threatened to spill from her eyes.
Kendall’s face softened. “Jo, I’m sorry. You’re right. That’s why I came over, okay? I know today couldn’t have been easy. But you saved him. Hayden is not Max.”
Jo slumped down on the couch and put her head in her hands. “I know . . . I know he’s not but . . .”
Kendall joined her, putting a comforting arm around her shoulders. “Jo, what happened with Max . . . it wasn’t your fault. I know you know that, right?”
Jo nodded as she tried to hold back her tears.
“And it’s not gonna happen again. You proved that today with Hayden. He’s fine. You’ve seen it for yourself, right?”
Jo took a steadying breath. “Right.”
“Don’t let it get to ya, girl. Today proved a lot of things to a lot of people. One being that you deserve lead tower and another being that you’re strong, and you’ve moved on from that accident with Max.”
“But I haven’t, Kendall.” There were those damn tears again, burning Jo’s eyes. “I don’t think I ever will. When I saw the light leave Hayden’s eyes. When he stopped breathing . . . it brought it all back. It was like I was right back there again, helpless.”
“But you’re not. That was three years ago, Jo. You’re not helpless anymore.”
“I know,” she whispered, swiping at her eyes before more tears could form.
Kendall wrapped her arms around Jo. She didn’t say anything, she just held on tight—too tight. But Jo needed it. She needed someone to hold all the broken pieces of her together, even though she’d never ever admit it.
After a moment, Kendall pulled away, pinning Jo with a stare. “You good?”
“I’m good.”
“I’m here for ya, Jo. Always.”
“Thanks.”
Kendall gave Jo’s hand a squeeze before standing up and flashing a mischievous grin Jo knew all too well. “Now give New York hell this weekend. And that’s a direct order from the squad for pulling that bullshit during dive training.”
Jo smirked. “I don’t know. I think he’s suffered enough.”
“Not nearly. He gave us all strokes today.”
“Yeah, well Jack wants me to go easy on him. Plus, Brock already gave him another fat lip.”
Kendall’s eyes widened. “For real? Why?”
Jo shrugged. “Why does Brock do anything?”
Kendall laughed. “Well good. New York’s far too pretty anyway.” Then, as if that was a completely normal way to end a conversation, Kendall scratched Piper’s head and headed out the door.
After she’d left, Jo finished getting everything she needed ready for a day of surfing. Then she showered and dragged her tired limbs to bed. Piper hopped up on the bed and snuggled next to her. Normally, Jo didn’t let her dog sleep with her. Piper was always full of sand and her dog breath could keep vampires at bay. But after the day Jo had, it was a comfort to have someone to cuddle with.
She rolled over and wound her arms into Piper’s soft fur, sighing as she shut her eyes and begged sleep to take her.
24
Joy
3 years ago . . .
“A dare’s a dare,” Max teased.
“I know,” Jo replied. “I’m not scared.” It was a lie. She was terrified.
But all afternoon she and Max listened to Brock talk about how amazing diving the Keyhole had been. And from the moment he dared her to do it, Jo knew she wouldn’t back down. That’s why she found herself treading water waiting for the tides to be just right so she could attempt a very stupid dive.
“You ready?” Max asked.
“Are you?”
“Always,” he replied, kissing her deeply.
She kissed him back, relishing the warmth that spread through her. Max filled her with a strength and confidence she never knew she had and suddenly, the dive seemed like an adventure—one more thing for her and Max to conquer together. With him by her side, she could conquer the world.
“A dare’s a dare,” she said onto his lips.
Max gave her a wink before pulling his mask down. She did the same, then reached for his hand and followed him into the enchanted abyss of the caves below.
* * *
The water was black. His eyes were black. Her heart was black.
Jo screamed and screamed and screamed.
She pounded on Max’s chest and forced air into his lungs, but nothing changed.
Everything stayed black.
Because Max was gone and he wasn’t coming back.
She knew it was true, but she didn’t understand how it happened. She couldn’t wrap her mind around it. One minute he was alive and vibrant and the next . . .
They’d been exploring the caves and they’d gotten separated. It was a common occurrence and they had a plan for when it happened: return to the surface. So that’s what she did.
But she was there too long. She knew something was wrong. But still she waited. That was their plan. If she went back down she could miss him. But each minute she waited the unease in the pit of her stomach grew. It unfurled inside her like a weed, choking out her ability to think. Max had been down there too long. She couldn’t wait any longer.
The sun was setting and visibility was poor, but Jo rushed back toward the mouth of the Keyhole Caves. She tried to slow her breathing to preserve air, but it was useless. Her lungs were filled with panic and they greedily pulled air from her tank. But in the end, it didn’t matter. Jo didn’t need much oxygen at all, because she found Max right away, waiting at the mouth of the cave, his eyes unblinking, his body motionless, suspended peacefully in the water, where his dive gear was caught.
Jo cut him loose and dragged him to the surface.
She didn’t stop to take her gear off.
She didn’t waste one precious second, one precious breath.
But it didn’t matter.
The water was black. His eyes were black. Her heart was black.
Jo screamed and screamed and screamed.
She pounded on Max’s chest and forced air into his lungs, but nothing changed.
Everything stayed black.
Because Max was gone and he wasn’t coming back.
And nothing would ever matter again.
2 years ago . . .
“I miss him so much, Brock. I just . . . I can’t do this without him.”
“Shhh,” Brock crooned, his hand rubbing Jo’s back. “You don’t have to.”
He poured her another shot and Jo tossed it down her throat, welcoming the burn. But it didn’t help. Nothing helped. She was hopelessly alone. Max was gone. He’d left her and he wasn’t coming back. And now Jo was left with a broken heart and a future she’d never fathomed.
Tears streaked down her face. “I can’t do this alone.”
“You’re not alone,” Brock said, softly.
His voice was so close. Too close. Then he was rubbing more than her back. He was rubbing her thigh. Higher. Harder.
“Brock, what are you doing?”
“I’m making it better.”
“No—”
“Shhh . . . let me make it better, Jo.”
Brock’s mouth closed over hers and she closed her eyes. She didn’t know how else to make it stop. And she just wanted all of it to stop. The pain, the sadness, the guilt . . . she wanted it to stop. Stop! “Stop!”
25
Joy
Jo woke to the sound of her own screaming. She sat bolt upright, pulling the drenched sheets off of her. Piper was standing on the edge of the bed, fretfulness in her alert blue eyes.
Jo looked at the clock. Shit. It was too early to get up. But going back to sleep wasn’t an option, not unless she felt like slipping back into her nightmares.
She wasn’t surprised she’d dreamt about the night Max died after what happened with Hayden yesterday. But dreaming about what transpired with Brock was startling.
Jo had tried to put that drunken night out of her mind. And until a few weeks ago, she’d been successful. But Brock was making it increasingly apparent that that night was far from off his radar. He wanted more from her, and the thing that scared Jo most, was she was considering it.
Piper whined and Jo gave up any thoughts of sleep. She got out of bed and pulled on her shorts. Maybe a run on the beach would clear her head. Piper was already three steps ahead of Jo, racing to the door. She came bounding back with one of Jo’s sneakers in her mouth.
Jo grinned. “It’s like you can read my mind.”
A run on the beach was the best way to drive the ache in her heart away.
Hayden
Despite having a fat lip yet again, Hayden woke up with more enthusiasm than he’d had since that first morning after he’d kissed Joy. He knew they had their stupid rules and he knew he shouldn’t break them . . .
But wasn’t that what rules were for—to be broken?
Either way, rules had never really applied to Hayden and he wasn’t about to start obeying them now. Not when his dream girl was on the line. And not when a single text message from her lit up his world like it was the Fourth of July.
9 am. My place. Don’t be late.
That’s all the text said and it was enough to erase all the pain in his lip, all the fatigue in his muscles, all the ache in his heart.
Hayden jumped out of bed and practically skipped as he got ready to meet Joy. Last night, his dreams had assaulted him. They’d been filled with images of Joy on a loop. It was like a goddamned Baywatch montage.
Joy running on the beach.
Joy kissing him underwater.
Joy saving his life.
Joy giving him mouth-to-mouth.
Joy kissing him.
Joy teaching him to surf and professing her undying love for him.
Okay so that last one hadn’t happened yet, but give it time.
If things went the way Hayden hoped they did today, he would have even more to fill his dreams with tonight.
He donned a black sleeveless rash guard, his American flag board shorts, and some SPF 70. He slathered it on, but the lotion was so thick it might as well have been called liquid shirt. But Hayden’s Manhattan skin was no match for the Hawaiian sun. He’d rather his arms be pasty than peeling.
He grabbed a beach towel, shades and a hat before stepping into his flip flops and heading out the door to grab breakfast before meeting Joy.
* * *
The sun was shining, the sky was blue and the ocean was bluer. Bob Marley was Hayden’s anthem as he whistled ‘Don’t Worry ‘Bout A Thing’ as he walked the short distance down the beach to Joy’s apartment.
He knocked on her door twice before it swung open. The dog that had nearly mauled Brock leapt up on Hayden. He would’ve been scared if its tail wasn’t wagging. “Hey there, killer,” he greeted.
“Piper, get down,” Joy ordered.
The dog obeyed.
“It’s okay,” Hayden replied, petting the dog’s head. “I love dogs. I’ve always wanted one but my father is allergic.”
“Ha! Rule!” Joy exclaimed. “You don’t get to ask one of your questions now.”
“What? No way. I didn’t break a rule.”
“No, but you did give me way more info than I needed. That’s against the whole getting to know each other and getting attached rule.”
Hayden straightened up from petting the dog and gave Joy his best smoldering gaze. “Oh, it’s gonna be like that, is it?”
She met his stare with one of her own. Goddamn, those eyes . . . they should be illegal. Hayden felt his heart stop when he stared right into them. They were the most alluring color. Like slices of limes, fresh cut grass, sparkling emeralds, polished jade, springtime, shamrocks, mint, money, envy . . . and Hayden couldn’t stop staring.
“Yeah,” Joy whispered. “It’s gonna be like that.”
“Then game on.”
Joy grinned.
Hayden liked that she seemed to be into whatever game they were playing. There wasn’t a trace of the emptiness from yesterday in her eyes as she beamed at him.
“Come inside. I’m almost ready.”
Hayden followed obediently. He took in the small space while Joy scurried around gathering a disarray of things and shoving them into a backpack. The apartment was nice, or at least it probably had been before Joy moved in. The place looked like a bomb went off in it—if the bomb were full of clothes and dishes.
“How many other girls live here?” Hayden asked as he studied the chaos.
“Just me.”
“Wow.”
“What?”
“Oh nothing, I’m just impressed.”
“Impressed?”
“I didn’t know one small human could make such a huge mess.”
“Hey!”
Hayden ducked as an object came flying at his head. Joy’s dog ran to pick it up and dropped it at Hayden’s feet. He looked down to inspect the fuzzy orange lump. It was a dog toy—he hoped.
“She likes you,” Joy said watching them from the kitchen. Her head was cocked curiously to the side.
“Is that breaking a rule or something?” he teased.
“No. It’s just weird. Piper doesn’t usually like strangers.”
“Well Piper, you have good taste,” Hayden said ruffling the dog’s fur. He tossed the orange toy and she immediately brought it back.
“You’ve got a friend for life now,” Joy said, smiling at Piper as she wagged her tail enthusiastically.
“Good. I could use a few of those.” The words were out of Hayden’s mouth before he realized he shouldn’t have said them. They were too truthful, and admitting that he had few friends was a bit embarrassing. Not to mention probably against Joy’s rules. He looked up to see she was still watching them.
When Hayden’s eyes caught Joy’s she looked away, clearing her throat. “Ready?”
“Yep.”
“Alright, let’s see if you can surf, New York.”
Joy
Jo hung her hand out the window as she drove Jezebel to her favorite surf break. Jezebel was her 1964 Volkswagen van. The vehicle had somehow survived Ryan, Ethan and Lucas before being handed down to Joy. Of course, after being manhandled by Jo’s rowdy older brothers, the car needed some major repairs. But Jo didn’t mind. She actually enjoyed working on what everyone in her family referred to as a hunk of junk.
There was something satisfying about putting blood, sweat and tears into it and seeing results. Plus, restoring the car was soothing. When Jo had a rare moment of free time, she always turned to Jezebel.
Jo stroked the orange door panel affectionately. It was hard to keep a smile off her face on a day like today. The weather was pineapple perfect—or at least that’s what Max would’ve called it.
Jo’s heart squeezed at the thought, but she pushed it away. The van was full enough at the moment without dragging Max back into it. A glance at Hayden put a smile back on Jo’s face. He was riding shotgun with Piper in his lap. “You don’t have to let he
r sit on you.”
“I know.”
That’s all he offered and for some reason, it made Jo stupidly happy. It was nice to just be with someone. To not have to fill every second with words and explanations. Hayden was easy to be around like that. He had a quiet confidence to him that settled Jo in a strange way. He also liked Piper. And it seemed Piper liked Hayden. It was simple, easy—two things Jo needed more of in her life.
She glanced back at Hayden again, wishing things could always be that simple. But wishing wasn’t a luxury she had these days.
26
Hayden
“Okay, you’re gonna get this one,” Joy said, pointing to a wave coming their way. “Turn and paddle. Now! Paddle, paddle, paddle!”
Joy’s voice drifted to Hayden as his arms cut through the water trying to catch the wave. But at the last second something held him back and he let the swell crest without him.
He turned tail and paddled back out to Joy.
“Good effort. You’ll get the next one,” she said.
She was being surprisingly good-natured about his terrible surfing abilities.
“No, I don’t think I will. I was wrong. Surfing is harder than it looks.”
She splashed playfully at him. “What? Is New York giving up already?”
He grinned. “I didn’t say that.”
Joy smirked. “Ya know, I thought you’d actually be good at this.”
“Why? Because I’m a swimmer?”
“No, because surfing is a lot like flirting. You have to be ballsy. You can’t hesitate for even a second or you’ll miss your shot.”
“Is that so?”
“Yep.”
Hayden laughed. “Well, why didn’t you say so? I’m excellent at flirting.”
“You do seem like the type who thinks so,” Joy taunted.
“What can I say? When I see something I want I go for it.”
“And does it always work?”
“I don’t know yet, I’ll tell ya in the morning.”
The Summer Boyfriend Page 11
