“Am I?”
He bit his tongue, because now that she’d brought it up, he couldn’t stop glancing at the window. He could see speckles of rain clinging to the glass and the crashing waves beyond. If he could see out did that mean the world could see in?
Hayden took a step forward, pulling Joy toward him, but she pulled back, shrugging out of his reach.
“We can’t,” she whispered. “We could lose all of this.”
Hayden swallowed hard, searching the depths of her worried green eyes. And that’s when he knew. He knew she meant they could lose more than just their jobs or their spots in ACE. They could lose everything the next five weeks promised to bring them—they could lose each other.
Hayden exhaled, gripping the back of his neck tightly. He wasn’t prepared for the powerful fear that notion sparked inside him. He swore under his breath, hating the impossibility of their situation.
How was he supposed to stay away from her when they were in the same room, wanting each other the same way? There was no denying the physical attraction they had for each other. Not after the inferno she’d just ignited in him.
Hayden’s sunburn was nothing compared to the burning need hammering in his veins right now. The last thing he wanted to do was leave, but if he didn’t he’d never be able to stop himself from taking things too far.
He took a few steps toward Joy, wanting to kiss her again, but at the last second he changed his mind. He stopped inches from her and brushed his thumb lightly over her lips. “Don’t change your mind about us, Joy.”
She looked scared and her voice was quiet, but she said the words he needed to hear. “I won’t.”
“I should go.”
“Okay.”
Hayden was halfway to the door when Jo called out. “Wait.”
His heart leapt. She was calling him back. She didn’t want him to leave. She didn’t care about the consequences.
Hayden turned around, ready to scoop her into his arms and finish what they started when she shook her head and took a step back from his advances.
Joy’s eyes fell. “I just need to take your vitals before you go.”
“Oh. Right.”
Hayden followed Joy to the couch, desperately trying to recover from the sting of his misunderstanding. He took a deep breath and sat quietly while they both listened to the uneasy beat of his foolish heart.
Brock
Brock shoved his hands deeper into his pockets as he stalked back to his apartment. The rain battered him, soaking his clothes as it ran down his neck and inside his coat. He’d been too distraught to remember to pull his hood up after what he’d just witnessed
She thinks you’re a fool.
Brock pushed the thought away and let the image of Jo and Hayden fill his head. Brock had been on his way to Jo’s to apologize for what he’d said the other day when he caught a glimpse of her on her kitchen island.
The piece of shit haole had his filthy paws all over her. He was practically mauling her on her kitchen island and Brock had been two seconds from busting the door down to stop them when he realized that Jo wasn’t fighting back. She wanted that smarmy mainlander’s hands all over her.
Brock had watched in horror as Jo’s hips rocked up to meet the ACE-hole’s touch, how her hands scraped down his body, how her head fell back, eyes closed with pleasure.
Rage overtook Brock so quickly that he’d charged up to Jo’s door, every bit intent on smashing it down when her infernal mutt started barking up a storm. Brock could hear the dog howling and snarling inside, and suddenly his rage turned to embarrassment, and he ran.
She thinks you’re a fool, but she’s wrong.
She’s the fool.
And she’s going to learn just how costly her mistakes are.
Brock had waited patiently for Jo to get over his brother. He’d waited three whole years for his turn. He’d even been kind enough to offer her the rest of the summer to make up her mind about him. But after tonight, if this was how she was going to repay his kindness, he was done waiting.
After what he’d seen, Brock was convinced that Jo was beyond making the right decisions for herself. So if that meant he had to make them for her, he would. Because Brock was done letting Jo make him feel like a fool, especially at the expense of some arrogant jock-wad who thought he was above the rules.
No, Brock was done playing nice. It was time he got what he was owed, and he knew just how to do it.
33
Joy
3 years ago . . .
“This is the second most beautiful place I’ve ever been,” Max said staring out at the ocean from Munro Peak.
Jo gave him one of her calculating looks. She knew Max always chose his words carefully. She also knew her curiosity would never allow her not to ask him to explain so she walked as close to him as she dared on the steep ledge. “If this is the second most beautiful place you’ve ever been, I’m assuming there’s a first?”
Max turned, hitting her with his stunning blue eyes and cunning smile. “Of course.”
“Are you going to share it with me?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” Max leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers, lightly at first, then possessively until he engulfed her in the way only he could. His tongue invaded her mouth, claiming it as its own as he kissed her until she was breathless.
When he finally pulled his lips from hers, his ocean-blue eyes burnt with love, as he lowered his hand from her neck to her heart. “You, Jo, are the most beautiful place I’ve ever been.”
Her heart leapt beneath his hand and the slow grin that played across his handsome features told her he’d felt it.
Good. She wanted him to feel it. She wanted Max to feel all of her, always.
“I love you,” he whispered.
She didn’t think it was possible for him to look any more devastatingly handsome than he already did, but when he said those three little words the world cracked wide open and swallowed everything she thought she knew.
“I love you, too.”
34
Hayden
Doubt fell heavy across Hayden’s conscious Sunday morning. He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. It had been a restless night and he woke groggy and drained. He checked the time. It was early. Too early. He checked his phone. No message from Joy.
Flopping back against the pillow with a frustrated sigh, Hayden tried to get a few more minutes of sleep. Yesterday had been one of the best days of his life. Things with Joy had gone beyond his wildest dreams. Kissing her, holding her, having her accept him, flaws and all . . . it had been perfect. Until it wasn’t.
Piper’s interruption to what had been an otherwise perfect day had spooked Joy. And if Hayden was being honest, it scared him, too. He had a lot on the line at ACE. He knew what he was risking when he started this thing with Joy. But he also knew there was no way he could walk away from her now. He’d gladly get kicked out of ACE if it meant he could spend more time with her, but it wasn’t that easy.
Hayden didn’t want to cost Joy her job. It was important to her and he was guessing so was her reputation. Then, there were the nagging questions that ate at Hayden day and night. They burned his throat and scorched his tongue begging to be asked. Who is Max? Are you still in love with him? How can I win you from a competitor I can’t even see? Do I even stand a chance?
There was more holding Joy back than just the fear of losing her job. The way her over-protective brothers always hovered nearby and Brock stuck his nose where it wasn’t wanted . . . There was something Hayden was missing.
He hadn’t missed the hurt in Joy’s voice when she’d spoken about her family and how her mother had mistreated and abandoned her. It wasn’t any wonder Joy didn’t let people in easily. Hayden understood her fear of abandonment better than she knew. He knew what it was like to feel not good enough, to feel undeserving of love. But he knew if she’d just give him a chance that they could heal those wounds together.
But still, des
pite how many walls they’d broken down yesterday, despite how close he now felt to her, Hayden still couldn’t shake the feeling there was something else that he was missing. He wanted to overlook it. He wanted it to be nothing. But the closer he got to Joy, the more questions he had. And questions weren’t allowed.
Sleep was futile at this point. Groaning in frustration, Hayden got up and started his day. There would be time for questions later. Right now, he had something more important to do.
Joy
Morning came too quickly for Jo. Her night had been filled with memories of Max again, and they left little time for sleep. After the uneasy feeling Piper’s barking implanted last night, Jo was dreading what today might bring. Anxiety filled her chest the moment her feet hit the floor, but it seemed Piper was immune to it. The dog looked at her expectantly, wagging her tail, waiting for breakfast and a walk, unfazed by whatever had spooked her last night.
“Hold your horses,” Jo told her impatient dog as she grabbed her cell phone and went to the bathroom.
Jo checked her message as she brushed her teeth and used the toilet. All was quiet. Too quiet. She’d expected to see a million messages from Kendall and her brothers by now. Did that mean they didn’t know? Surely if they did they would’ve beaten down her door last night. Or maybe they’d gone straight to Hayden’s, taking care of the problem at the root.
It was a realistic enough thought that Jo swiped through her contacts until she found Hayden’s name, ready to send him a text. But before she could, her phone rang, startling her so much she threw it into the sink.
“Shit!”
Jo recovered quickly only to panic again when she saw the call was from Kai.
“Dammit.” She’d missed his call last night. But he’d left her a message saying how much he loved and missed her. It had nearly ripped her heart out, causing her to second-guess what the hell she was doing with Hayden. Were a few weeks of passion really worth risking a secure future with Kai?
It was a question that should be easy to answer, but somehow it wasn’t. Still, it had been enough to make her cry herself to sleep last night. But if someone had seen her with Hayden she wouldn’t even have the luxury of pondering such a question. The decision would be made for her, and the life she’d planned for her and Kai could be over before it truly started.
Steadying herself, Jo took a deep breath and answered the call. “Hey, baby.”
Hayden
Hayden’s senses were on full alert as he made his way across campus. All morning he’d been listening and watching for anything that seemed out of place. But no one seemed to be giving him strange looks or whispering his name after he walked by. At least no more than usual. Maybe everything had been in their heads last night. Maybe Piper really was just barking at the storm.
As he walked up the steps to Joy’s apartment, Hayden prayed his paranoia was for nothing, because whatever he’d begun with Joy yesterday wasn’t something he was willing to give up. He’d wrestled with his emotions all morning, but he always came to the same conclusion. Rules or not, he couldn’t walk away. He was all in and he wanted her to know.
Hayden knocked timidly on Joy’s door, worried that she’d be in the same anxious state he was. Her quick answer told him he was right.
“Come in,” she said, practically yanking him into the apartment.
Joy shut the door behind them, locking it and double-checking the windows, which Hayden couldn’t help noticing were all buttoned up—blinds closed tight, curtains drawn.
“Good morning,” Hayden said, hands in his pockets though they itched to be on Joy.
“Morning,” she replied, forcing a tight smile.
It didn’t meet her eyes and Hayden’s heart sank. “Did you sleep?”
“Not really. You?”
He shook his head. “I was too worried.”
“Me too,” she admitted.
“Did Piper bark more after I left?” Hayden asked, bending down to pet the dog.
“No. Not once.”
Hayden glanced up, not liking what he saw when their eyes met. Joy’s face was full of worry.
“This isn’t good,” she whispered.
“Joy, we haven’t done anything wrong. And until someone calls us out we need to act normal.”
“You think someone’s gonna call us out?”
“No. I’ve been all over campus this morning and didn’t hear a thing. I just mean we need to take precautions. Being afraid of our own shadow is only going to make us look suspicious.”
“I know, but I just can’t shake the feeling that someone knows.”
“If they do, don’t you think they would’ve done something with that information already?”
“I don’t know,” Joy said, her voice breaking.
Hayden couldn’t take it anymore. He closed the space between them and pulled Joy to his chest. She resisted at first before finally melting into him. He inhaled her scent—coconut and citrus. It washed over him, eroding all his worries away. He knew everything would be fine if only he could keep her with him like this—pressed against his heart, where she belonged.
He closed his eyes and drank her in for as long as she let him.
After not nearly long enough, Joy pulled away, drying her eyes. “How’s your sunburn?”
“It’s fine.”
“Let me see.”
Hayden pulled off his shirt and let Joy inspect his skin.
“Good,” she said. “But you need to put more lotion on and keep it out of the sun today.
“Really?” Disappointment coursed through Hayden. He was finally excited to be able to be himself in front of Joy and now his stupid sunburn was in the way.
“Yes, really. How do you not know this? Is there no sun in New York?”
“Not compared to Hawaii.”
“Well that’s just sad. I don’t think I could live somewhere like that.”
“It’s not that bad. I actually think you’d kinda like New York.”
“Maybe to visit. But I’d never move there.”
“Never?”
“Nope. I have to be somewhere there’s a beach.”
“There are beaches in New York, Joy.”
Her eyes met his, catching the implications of his statement. She looked away quickly, turning her back to him as she changed the subject. “So, I thought we’d do some snorkeling and light diving today if you’re up for it.”
“Sure.” Honestly, Hayden was just glad Joy was still willing to hang out with him after last night. He could feel the tension rolling off of her in waves. He would’ve agreed to go swimming with sharks if it meant seeing her.
“Good. I thought it would be a good last test. Something to show Jack that you’re ready to return to training tomorrow.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
35
Joy
The drive to the beach was quiet. Gone was the easiness between them. It had been replaced by awkward tension. By the time Jo finally parked Jezebel beneath a canopy of trees near the small beach cottage her stomach was in knots. Her head told her she shouldn’t be here, but her heart had other ideas.
She got out of the van and went to the back to get the gear ready while Piper darted down the familiar beach racing the surf. Jo had specifically chosen this spot because it was so secluded. She hadn’t been back here in years.
The pristine stretch of beach was equal parts lovely and loathsome in her memory. It had once been a part of her and now it belonged to some wealthy real estate investors who turned it into a posh vacation rental. She hadn’t been here since she was a little girl—except for the day after Max’s funeral.
She’d walked for hours in a daze before ending up here. It seemed this was the place she came whenever she was lost. Piper had been by her side then, too. But now, just like that desolate day after Max died, this beach offered little comfort, other than being somewhere she could be alone.
Jo worked the muscles in her jaw unhappily as she took in all the new designer fi
nishes on the cottage. It was like someone had come in and painted over any traces of the memories she had left—any traces of her mother.
This was the last place Jo had ever seen her. Not that she remembered. It was hard to know what was happening at the ripe age of one. It was hard to imagine what her mother must have been thinking to leave her all alone at a cottage with a note, begging her uncle and aunt to take care of her. But that’s what had happened. Jack had never hid the truth from Jo when she had questions, no matter how painful the answers were to hear.
The salt air tangled Jo’s long hair as she gazed down the beach, lost in her memories. When Hayden’s fingers lightly brushed the small of her back she jumped.
“This place is gorgeous,” he said, gazing at the beach beyond the house. “Do you know the owners or something?”
“Not anymore,” Jo said, forgetting herself.
Hayden raised an eyebrow. “Are we house crashing?”
“We didn’t come for the house, just the beach.”
“Too bad. The house looks awfully inviting,” Hayden said staring at the white rocking chairs on the front porch. He walked closer to inspect the sign that hung over the front door. “What does, Ua ola loko I ke aloha, mean?”
“Love gives life within.”
Hayden turned to face her, reading the emotions swimming in her eyes. “You used to live here,” he said quietly.
He didn’t say it like a question and for some reason it made the lump in Jo’s throat grow tighter. “This was my mother’s house.”
Hayden moved closer, pulling Jo into his warm arms.
She drank in the safety she felt wrapped in his embrace until it drenched her very soul. But being so close to something else she knew she would lose was too much. She pulled away.
Hayden looked down at her, brushing the hair from her face. “Joy, can we talk about last night?” he asked softly.
The Summer Boyfriend Page 17
