“When I first found out, I wanted to have an abortion. I talked to a woman at a clinic in Calgary. Tried to figure out how I could get away to get it done.” She took a shuddering breath, praying he would understand. “I didn’t want my own child.”
“But you didn’t go through with it.” Luke rested his hand on her shoulder, a gentle assurance.
Janie kept her focus on her feet. Step, pause, step, pause. A slow meandering rhythm. “I couldn’t make up my mind, couldn’t decide what to do and then it was too late. So my next plan was to put her up for adoption. Then my mother found out, and my life took another turn as she told me I needed to make things right. And, even worse, I resented Suzie for putting me in this mess in the first place. For the longest time I felt, because of her, I ended up a mother, married to a man who never cared for me and never loved me. I have always struggled with how I felt about Suzie. And I guess that’s why it seems like I treat her differently. Maybe not always wisely, but I feel like I have so much to make up for.”
Step, pause, step, pause. Luke hadn’t said anything yet so Janie continued.
“When you asked me why I was defending your mother, I think…I think I was defending myself. When I heard you say that she didn’t deserve your love, your respect, I felt as if you were talking about me.”
Luke stopped, caught her arm and gently turned her to face him. “No. Janie. Never. My mother made her own mistakes. Different from you.”
Janie gave a short laugh at his quick defense of her and looked up at him, holding his steady gaze. “I was single, pregnant and confused. I didn’t want my own daughter. Doesn’t sound too different from your mother. When you said you couldn’t forgive your mother for that, it was as if I was unforgivable.”
Luke slowly shook his head, his fingers coming to rest on her cheek. “So when you heard me say that, you thought I would feel the same way about you.”
“I did.” She shivered, and Luke rubbed her arms.
“But you provided a home for Suzie and your other kids. You take care of them. You love them. They know they’re loved.”
“But Suzie…tonight…” Janie pulled her jacket tighter around her, tension holding her captive.
“Tonight is also not unusual. Every kid wants to go to a party when they’re teenagers. She just happened to find a way to do it.”
“You seem to be willing to sweep away what I’ve thought, what Suzie has done—”
“I’m not sweeping it away. I’m the one who thought she should be grounded, after all. I’m trying to show you that some of the things you’ve taken on are normal reactions and actions.”
“But it was different for your mother?”
Luke sighed, and she sensed she was treading, once again, on shaky ground.
“My mother’s problems are more complicated…” He paused there, as if thinking. “But I went to see her the other night. After you told me that you couldn’t be with me. Something you said made me realize that maybe she was coming between us. Maybe I needed to find some kind of peace with her in order to move on. In order to build some kind of life with you.”
Janie felt hope surge in her chest, but she let the moment hang.
“She’s made a lot of mistakes, but she’s human. And I knew that as long as I was angry with her and hurt by her, I wasn’t going to be able to move on in my own life. In my own faith. I had felt distant from God for some time, now I think it was because of how I felt toward my mother. And especially now that I know that you felt the same about Suzie…” Luke turned to her. “We still have a long way to go, my mother and I, but we’re starting. I read a piece in the Bible about forgiving as Christ has forgiven us. I’d like to think that, with God’s help, I’m getting there. I’d also like to think that you could help me.”
Janie took a chance herself, reached up and cupped his face in her hand. “I want to. I need to. Because if you can forgive your mother, then I can feel that Suzie will, in time, forgive me.”
“She will. And she’ll appreciate all that you’ve done in the meantime. And if she doesn’t, I will remind her.”
Janie rested in his embrace, thankful for his support. His care.
She leaned back and looked up into his dark, intense gaze. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too. And I don’t want to miss you anymore.”
He smiled down at her, then bending over, he kissed her. His mouth was warm and gentle, and Janie melted into his embrace.
When he pulled away, her heart was beating quickly, her cheeks flushed and she felt as if her feet didn’t touch the ground.
He smiled down at her, then slowly drew in a breath. “I love you, Janie.”
His simple declaration surrounded her. Filled the empty places. “I love you, too.” Janie stroked his cheek, resting her fingertips on his mouth. “And I’m glad you came into my life. You’ve taught me a lot. About letting people help. About not trying to do everything myself. And I think I’ll need your help. For a long time.”
Luke rested his forehead against hers, and the sigh he released seemed to embody her feelings as well.
“That sounds like a proposal.”
“Well, I think that’s your job.”
“I would hope so.”
She stood on tiptoe and brushed a kiss over his lips. He caught her close and deepened the kiss full of promises and hope.
“So, I suppose we should go back to the house. The kids will be wondering what is going on.”
“And what do we tell them?” Luke asked, his voice holding a gentle intimacy as they turned around. “That for better or for worse—”
“For richer or for poorer,” Janie added her voice to the quiet vow.
“I’m looking forward to telling them.”
“And of course, after that, we’ll have to tell my mom and dad and Dodie. Aunt Dot and Uncle Morris, Ethan and Hannah and Francine. Uncle Fred and Sarah and Logan.” She gave him a rueful smile. “You’re not just getting me and the kids, you know. You’re getting a clan.”
“I’ve never had a big family.”
Janie hesitated, then plunged in. “And your mother. She’ll need to know.”
Luke glanced down at her, but he was still smiling. “Of course.” He brushed his lips over hers, as if drawing from her. “I’d like you to come with me. I’d like her to formally meet you.”
“Maybe we could take the kids along. Go all together.”
“Together. I like the sound of that.”
“And we can’t forget Cooper.”
“Especially Cooper. He does have a stake in the relationship,” Luke said with a laugh. “After all, if it wasn’t for him…”
“I’d still have some nice petunias.”
Luke laughed and gave her another hug.
“And the house?” Janie asked. “Are you still selling it?”
“I don’t know. I’m kind of attached to it, though I did buy it with my partner to flip it. I might have to buy him out, after all.”
“You know, if you’re interested, I know of another place you could pick up on the cheap that could use some work,” Janie said, letting a coy note enter her voice.
“I don’t know. I have a bunch of money tied up in a building downtown. Used to have a coffee shop in it?”
Janie frowned, trying to gather what he said. “You bought the building?”
“I had plans. Lots of plans. Something about a bookstore run in conjunction with a coffee shop…” He let the sentence, rife with promises and expectation, drift into the night.
Janie laughed. “So you’re the mystery buyer.”
He nodded.
“That’s unexpected.”
“It’s the way I operate.”
Janie held his gaze as her mind flipped back to the first time she saw him. How she resented his intrusion in her life. His and Cooper’s.
And now she stood in the circle of his arms, the promise of a future shimmering around them both.
A family. For both of them.
; Epilogue
Two months later
“Luke. Can you put this on the table?” Janie took a platter of ham from the oven and set it on the island between the kitchen and the dining room. She nudged Cooper aside and walked to the refrigerator to get the sauce she’d made just this afternoon.
Luke frowned, and then his eyes met hers across the kitchen and he grinned. “Sorry, I was just helping Todd get a flying unicorn on Roblox.”
“How supportive of you,” she said smiling at her husband.
They’d only been married a few weeks and she was still getting used to the idea of having this amazing man in her life. Getting used to the idea and loving it.
Luke frowned as he reached for the platter. “I thought Suzie was helping you?”
“She’s getting a bowl from the other house.”
Luke set the platter on a table that already held three salads, a bowl of buns, gravy and sour cream. “You realize you won’t have room here for the potatoes.”
The ringing of the doorbell sent Cooper scurrying across the tile floor.
“Cooper, down.” Luke and Janie cried out in unison.
Cooper skidded to a halt before he got to the wood floor of the hallway, then turned to look at Luke and Janie as if checking to see if they were indeed serious.
“Hello, the house,” her mother called out from the front door. “We’re here.”
Tilly carried a bouquet of flowers, her father a jug of sweet cider.
“Come on in,” Janie said, shivering as the cool fall air followed her parents inside.
Her mother was looking around the house, her eyes missing nothing. Janie resisted the urge to straighten the rug Cooper had been lying on moments before and to pick up the toys Autumn had dropped before she went upstairs to change. Then caught herself. This was her and Luke’s home and that’s exactly what it was. A home.
“Hello, hello,” her mother said, handing Janie the flowers. She leaned forward and kissed her daughter. Then, as she stepped back, reached out and straightened Janie’s collar. “The house looks lovely. Are you all moved in?”
“I’m sure it will take a couple of weeks yet, but we’re getting there.”
“Have you sold the other place yet?” her father asked as he looked around the entrance as well.
“Luke is fixing it up first.”
“In all his spare time?” Ted Westerveld joked, pushing open the doors leading to the living room.
“I’m helping,” Todd put in.
Everyone laughed.
“Is Dodie coming?” Janie asked, walking to the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase.
“I’m not sure,” Ted said. “She said it would depend on how her latest project is coming along.”
“And that is?” Janie asked, curious as to what her sister was taking on now.
“She’s making a guitar.”
“Really? That’s interesting.” At one time Dodie had ambitions to be a musician. Mostly the half year that she had broken up with Gregg and spent time with Cam. Thankfully that was short-lived and she and Gregg had gotten back together. Cam wasn’t reliable nor trustworthy and if there was one thing Dodie yearned for it was stability.
“Yeah. I got a look at it. Pretty interesting.”
“What’s interesting,” Luke asked as he entered the dining area. “Hello, Tilly. Ted.”
“Just talking about Dodie,” her father said. Janie noticed the look of concern on her mother’s face and wanted to assure her that her youngest daughter would be fine. Grief was an ongoing struggle and Dodie had to find her own way through it.
“I’ve got the bowl,” Suzie announced as she stepped into the kitchen from the back door, changing the subject.
“Here I am,” Autumn announced, pushing Cooper aside as she came down the stairs, as if everyone was waiting for her.
The family converged on the dining room. As Janie put the flowers in water, she directed Suzie, who was mashing the potatoes.
The talk circled from the house, to the changing cost of real estate, to the business Luke and Janie had set up in the building Luke had purchased.
“I think we can eat,” she said as Suzie put the steaming bowl mounded with yellow potatoes on the table.
Luke frowned at the place settings as everyone found a chair and sat down. “You put out one too many,” he said, just as the doorbell rang again.
Relief surged through Janie. “Just sit down. I’m expecting someone else.”
She ignored Luke’s frown as she hurried down the hall, hoping, praying. Then she opened the door and there stood Luke’s mother.
She held a fruit platter and wore beige slacks, a leather jacket and a tentative smile.
“Am I too late?” she asked.
Janie glanced over her shoulder as Luke joined them in the front hall. His frown slowly shifted, and Janie saw in his eyes a flash of hope.
“You’re right on time, Lillian,” Janie said, stepping aside to let Luke’s mother in. “Suzie, can you take the fruit platter from Ms. Harris and put it on the island?”
“Why can’t Todd do it?” she complained.
“Because you’re my slave,” Janie said with a wink.
Suzie just rolled her eyes but thankfully did as she was told.
“Thanks for having me,” Lillian said, her smile tentative.
Luke’s arm tightened around Janie’s shoulder. “Thanks for coming, Mom.”
“So, shall we eat?” Janie asked. “I’m sure everyone’s hungry. Suzie, can you show Lillian where she’ll be sitting?
Suzie nodded, then turned and led the way into the dining area. Janie was about to follow when Luke pulled her back. He turned her to face him, his expression bemused. “You’re an amazing woman, Janie Harris. Have I ever told you that?”
“Not for the last few minutes,” Janie returned with a teasing smile.
“I’m losing my touch.” He stroked her face, cupped her cheek and brushed a lingering kiss over her lips. “Well, you are. And God has blessed me beyond blessings.”
“And me, Luke,” Janie said, returning his kiss.
“Can we eat?” Autumn called out. “Cooper is hungry.”
“We’d better go,” Janie said. “Don’t want to keep our family waiting.”
“Our family.” Luke smiled. “I like the sound of that.”
If you want to continue your visit to Love in Millars Crossing and find out about Cam and Dodie, read on:
She looked tired. Worn and weary.
Dodie slipped quietly into her mother-in-law's hospital room, draped her purse over the chair and sat down beside the bed.
Kelly moaned in pain, her hand, laying on top of the bedsheets, twitching.
Dodie lifted it, holding it between hers, noting the veins, the bruises where the nurses had tried many times to start an I.V.
Bad veins, Dodie heard one nurse mumble as she tried the other hand.
Dodie brushed her hand over Kelly's, sending up a quick prayer for her dear mother-in-law. Kelly had endured so much over the past couple of years. And now she was recuperating from knee surgery.
As if sensing her presence, Kelly's eyes fluttered open, and she turned her head, smiling at Dodie.
"Hey, my dear," she whispered. "Thanks for coming."
"Has Dr. Page been today?"
Kelly nodded. "He says I might go home next week once they get this infection under control."
"And then?"
"Then a Home Care nurse will come by and a physiotherapist until I can do my exercises on my own." She gave Dodie a warm look. "And that's where I'll be depending on you."
Dodie tried not to take her comments too much to heart. Since she was told she needed surgery, Kelly had made no secret of what she hoped Dodie would be able to do for her. Increasingly, it sounded like being there for her 24/7.
Dodie had tried to explain that she was busy in her carpentry shop, working on a new commission that was important to her business.
So she said nothing, figuring she w
ould deal with it as things came.
And how has that worked for you before?
The snide voice was a reminder of how Kelly could be a force to be reckoned with.
"You are the daughter I always wished I had," Kelly said, taking her hand. "I was always so thankful that you and Greg got married."
"Me too," Dodie said, her voice breaking at the mention of Greg's name. Though it had been almost two years, thoughts of her deceased husband could still bring out a surprising sorrow. Theirs wasn't a perfect marriage, but they had loved each other.
"And how was church yesterday?" Kelly asked. "Did you go?"
Dodie suppressed the usual guilt where church attendance was concerned. Sometimes she went, sometimes she didn't. Sometimes she plain forgot which day it was.
"No. I...I slept in," was the only excuse she could muster.
Kelly blinked, then turned away, looking at the far wall of her room, her expression growing distant.
"Are you okay?" Dodie asked. "Are you worried about what will happen when you get home?"
"A little. It's kind of scary to know what will happen, but, as always, I trust God will give me strength and peace."
Her mother-in-law's faith had always been an inspiration to Dodie. She often wished she could emulate her. But since Greg's death, and even before that, the events of her life had made it more difficult to build her relationship with God.
Kelly folded her hands on her stomach and swallowed. "I should let you know, I texted Cam yesterday."
A heavy silence followed her comment, followed by a flicker of anger as she spoke her brother-in-law's name. Brother-in-law and ex-boyfriend.
Dodie didn't want to feel anything when it came to Cam Morgan. He was part of her past. A thoughtless mistake. Thank goodness Greg had been there for her and willing to take her back after that ill-fated relationship. She loved Greg deeply. He had been the best husband and partner she could wish for. He had given her stability, purpose and a home in Millars Crossing.
Cam had just given her broken dreams and a broken heart.
"You don't look happy about it," Kelly said, frowning at her.
Dodie shrugged. "I've always had a hard time with Cam," was all she said.
A Family's Hope: A Sweet Romance (Love in Millars Crossing Book 3) Page 18
