“I know you’re worried. I wouldn’t even consider allowing them guardianship if I didn’t think they had Cora, Julia, and Liam in their best interests. You need to trust my judgment and the others’ judgments.”
He used his free hand to move her hair to the side and kiss her cheek.
“Trust us, Arabella.”
She turned in his arms, ran her hands up his chest to his shoulders, and held his gaze. “I do trust you.” She hesitated as she nibbled her bottom lip.
“But?” he asked, raising his one eyebrow up.
“I’m worried. Cora is still fragile when it comes to men. It’s going to take some time to allow them close to her and the kids. They seem aggressive and very forward in their show of possessiveness.”
“Like we weren’t forward in our desires to possess you and this sexy body so no other man or men would stand a chance snagging you from us?”
She looked back toward Cora, who excused herself and walked away from Cason, whose hand was on her hip holding her from behind.
“She’s still so fragile and timid. I worry about the panic attacks. She just had one a few days ago and it was a doozy.”
“They will need to handle that if it happens. Believe me, they can and are more than willing to take care of her in every aspect. It’s their job to convince Cora that it’s real, and they truly want her.”
“Oh God, Brock. I want her to have what we have. I truly do, but Anthony hurt her in so many ways. I just don’t know if she can get past that inner fear.”
Brock reached down and caressed her cheek.
“Baby, it’s her fight. She has to want them too. If she declines, refuses, comes to the others or me and says she doesn’t share the same feelings for Beau and the guys, then they’ll pull back. They have to. Those are the rules.”
“I should talk to her,” she said and began to pull back, but Brock pulled her snugger against him.
“You will not. Give them space to work this out. The evening is nearly over. You can ask Cora tomorrow how tonight went. Now, let’s say good night and get you home. Smith has some plans for you this evening.”
Her eyes widened and her body began to warm with anticipation. Smith was very naughty and creative in the bedroom. So were the others once she realized she liked fulfilling their fantasies. She trusted them to take care of her and to never do her harm. That’s what she wanted for Cora. She just wasn’t sure such hard, mean-looking men like Beau, Blade, Cason, Avery, and Asher were the right men for Cora.
* * * *
Cora was looking at the painting that Blade’s friends from Salvation had gotten for him. They talked about their town like everyone here spoke about Pearl. They even mentioned another town over called Tranquility. Cora liked to hear that there were other places similar to Pearl where good, kind people lived and upheld the law.
As she absorbed the colors of the ocean in the scene around the tall cream-and-burgundy-colored lighthouse, she found herself lost in thoughts about her life and all the things she had yet to experience and might never have the chance to.
She never did see an actual lighthouse. She had never gone to the ocean, walked on a beach, and felt the sand between her toes. Those things were for other people. People without problems, without pasts like her. She couldn’t help but to wonder if the kids would like the beach, but that thought brought on visions of Anthony.
He was out there somewhere. Maybe even close by, and that’s what instantly made her chest tighten and her breathing became difficult. She looked toward the exit door. She wanted to move, to walk away and step outside to not make a scene, but the night’s events, the reminder that she was still so weak, wreaked havoc on her body and soul. She gulped and was about to make an attempt to walk the ten or so feet toward the back walkway when a large presence came up behind her. She gasped, turned to see Blade, and took off.
She ran until she was caught in the dead end of the courtyard that lined the back entrance of the gardens behind the Inn.
“Cora.” She heard her name, felt embarrassed about how this anxiety attack was coming on as she faced the fence and vines and willed her body to stop shaking. She tried forcing herself to get more air into her lungs, but it made the burning in her chest tighter.
“Cora, are you okay?” he asked from behind her. She couldn’t speak, and when she felt his hand on her hand, she pulled away.
“Leave.” She got out the word. It sounded so rough.
“Let me help you.”
She shook her head and felt the tears sting her eyes. If she started to cry, if she didn’t gain control of this, she was going to make a complete fool out of herself.
Suddenly, strong arms wrapped around her, and she choked out a sob.
“Easy, baby. Calm down and let me help you. Just listen to my voice, Cora. Know that I’m here to protect you. Nothing can get to you here in my arms. Nothing,” he said, his voice soft, so strange to be coming from Blade.
She tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t allow it. His voice got firm.
“Don’t. I’m not letting you go. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. You’ve surprised me this evening, and that’s not an easy task to pull on a man like me. You know Calvin is never going to let me live this down? To think this is why you were talking to him so much this week. You’ve pulled one on me too. We’ll talk about that another time.”
He just kept talking to her. His voice soft, gentle, and his hold snug yet comforting.
She was embarrassed by the anxiety attack, and she tried to force it away, and remind herself that she was safe here in Blade’s arms. He was a soldier. He was resourceful, and there were loads of people only a short distance away on the dance floor and patio.
Her chest began to burn less and less. She felt his warm lips almost touch her skin by her neck. She found her mind focusing on that more than the anxiety attack. She wanted to feel his lips on her skin. She wanted him to hold her like this because he was attracted to her, not because he was trying to be a Good Samaritan. That made her feel like shit. He was just being kind. His actions meant nothing more. He was the most distant of the men and kept her far and out of reach.
“That’s my girl. Take slow, easy breaths and feel the safety of my arms. Know that we’re all here to protect you.” His lips touched her skin, and she closed her eyes and eased her body back against his.
She felt his cock harden against the seam of her ass cheeks and reality hit her fast. She stood upright, tried pulling forward to get away from him.
“Take your time,” he whispered.
“I’m good. I’m good now. You can let me go,” she told him. She felt his arms give her body a little squeeze, and when he released her she could have sworn he inhaled against her hair and let his hands gradually slide away from her waist and her ass.
She stepped forward and took a few more breaths before gaining her composure.
She turned around and he was staring down at her. His eyes dark. His expression filled with concern.
“These are the anxiety attacks you’ve been having for months?”
She nodded her head. It was still a little fuzzy, but then she realized what he said. How would he know? Did he ask Brock and them? Had Arabella told him?
“When they happen are they just like this one?”
“Usually worse. It doesn’t matter. I’m fine now. Thank you.” She started to leave, and he grabbed her upper arm. She immediately stepped back and out of his hold, staring at him, her head tilted way back to lock gazes with his eyes. He was at least six foot three.
“You shouldn’t run off to be alone when they happen. You could get hurt. Don’t ever take off like that again. Do you understand me?” He was reprimanding her, ordering her around, and she felt the anger hit her belly hard, never mind the sensation of the still-lingering anxiety she had.
“It’s not your concern. I’m not your concern. I’m sorry that you had to see me like that.” She lowered her eyes and started to walk past him.
“Co
ra, don’t be embarrassed. That’s not what I’m saying.”
“What are you saying then? That I can’t take care of myself? That I’m weak and need someone constantly by me because of this? I don’t want to hear it.”
“You will hear it. If my men are going to be your guardians then they need to know how to handle you and these attacks.”
She was shocked.
“Guardians?”
He paused, and she knew he hadn’t meant to let her know this.
“When was this decided?”
He held his firm expression. The man would never admit that he screwed up and blurted out this information. He was such a hard-ass.
“It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’ll have four capable men to care for you and the kids and protect you. They’ll need to know how to help you get through this. They’ll need a report from your doctors, perhaps some insight from your therapist will aid them in securing your safety and understanding your needs.”
She was shocked, for so many reasons. He spoke about her as if she had some sort of disease or condition that required his team to seek professional help in aiding her. He sounded like he was gathering research and information on her like she was an object, and mostly what upset her was that he made her feel like a project, a sad case that needed men like them to survive and live a safe, enjoyable life. Plus he said his men, not even him. Like she wasn’t good enough for Mr. Commander?
The anger was boiling through her blood. She was the least confrontational person, and right now she wanted to scream at him, to punch him, to let him know what he could do with his handling of her situation.
But she couldn’t get herself to yell at him. She couldn’t find the nerve, the self-confidence to do it.
“Cora, are you listening to me?”
“I’m not a mission. Leave me alone.” She turned around to walk away and saw Beau and Cason by the patio. She could see the other people too, and she knew it was time to leave.
“Cora, is everything okay? You look upset,” Cason asked as he pulled her close and caressed her cheek. She stepped back.
“Don’t do that. Please don’t act like I’m your girlfriend when I’m nothing more than a mission, a project for all of you because your commander probably ordered it.”
“What?” Beau asked, looking from her to Blade with daggers in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, but I do not accept your claim as my guardians. I have feelings. I have my own plans of working through my own issues that are mine and not some adventure for all of you to partake in. Leave me alone,” she said and walked away from them.
She was shocked when she felt as if her heart were torn from her chest. She had already thought so much of each of them. If she had been honest with herself, she would have realized sooner that she was attracted to them and would probably learn to trust them. But they weren’t honest with her. The attraction wasn’t there for them. They just wanted the benefits of being her guardians. She was fooled once before by a man’s charms, his muscles, his authoritative show of possession. She was smarter now. Now she wanted actual feelings and love, but no man would ever truly want her. Not with two kids, anxiety attacks, and a fucking psycho ready to appear any moment and finish what he almost succeeded in months ago.
Cora headed to her car as tears rolled down her cheeks and that anxious feeling hummed through her entire body.
* * * *
“What the fuck did you do, Blade? What did you say to upset her?” Beau asked as Cason stood beside Beau.
“She was having an anxiety attack. She ran out here instead of alerting someone that she needed help.”
“You yelled at her?” Cason asked.
“I helped her first. Then I made her aware that you guys, Asher, and Avery were going to be her guardians and that she needed to trust in you to take care of her.”
“She was upset. Why did you tell her like this? We wanted to explain about our feelings and how important she is to us already. You had to have said something to make her angry. We heard her say something about not being a mission,” Cason said.
“Listen, I told you from the start that I can’t be involved with this and in this way. I just don’t have it in me.”
“Bullshit, Blade. Face the facts. Stop trying to pretend that you don’t already care for Cora. Forget about Eileen and what she did to you. Who gives a shit that she cheated on you and had a kid with some other guy? It’s over and in the past. Cora is right here in front of you, in front of us. We’re a team, goddamn it. Let’s start acting like one and make Cora all of ours,” Beau said as Asher and Avery joined them.
“What the hell is all the yelling about?” Avery asked.
“Blade?” Beau challenged him.
“Fuck. I was trying to hide my feelings. I was helping her get through an anxiety attack and she was scared. I was concerned. When it was over and she pulled away, I may have said something stupid to distance myself from the feelings I have for her.”
“What the hell did you say to upset Cora?” Beau demanded to know.
“You hurt her?” Asher asked, stepping forward with his fists by his side.
Beau stared at Blade, who legitimately looked upset.
“I made her feel like she was a charity case. I mentioned getting information from her doctors and her therapist.”
“You asshole,” Asher said and shoved against Blade’s chest.
Blade shoved back, and they were about to have a fistfight when Beau and Cason got between the two men.
“This is not going to solve anything,” Cason said.
“It will make me feel a bit better to shove my fist in his face for hurting Cora,” Asher stated.
“I fucked up, okay. I’ve never been in that type of situation before or felt like that. I’m not good enough for her. I’ll just hold you guys back,” Blade said.
“Fuck that. You’re great for her because you’ve been hurt, used before, and left to feel like nothing. Don’t you think that is exactly how Cora feels about her ex and his abusive ways? We said we needed to ease the guardianship issue across to her and get her to feel comfortable. You fucked that up and you’re going to fix it. Come on. We need to go find her. Now,” Beau said.
They started to walk toward the side exit when they stopped because Blade wasn’t moving.
“Blade?” Beau said his name.
“I don’t know if I can do this. I’m used to giving orders and demanding, taking what I want. She needs slow, compassionate gentleness I just don’t have in me.”
“You’d be surprised what you’re capable of when you love someone,” Cason offered, and Blade’s eyes widened.
“You know you want her in every way. Let down your guard and let her in. We need you. We need to do this as a team. It’s best for Cora and the kids,” Avery added.
“Goddamn. She probably hates me,” Blade said as he started walking out along with them.
“She probably does, but you’ll make her see you were being an idiot. You won’t be the last Special Forces soldier to grovel on hands and knees to win a woman’s heart,” Asher said, and they chuckled.
“I don’t grovel,” he said, and Beau rolled his eyes as they exited the building and headed toward their truck.
* * * *
“Damn it!” Cora slammed her hand down on the steering wheel as the car stopped and wouldn’t start up again. She was on the one small road between town and the ranches before a set of small houses where she, her mom, and the kids lived thanks to Arabella and her men. She hugged the steering wheel, thinking how tonight had started off so wonderful and she was actually having fun with Gia, Marianna, and the guys when it turned so ugly.
Why did Blade have to be so cruel and such a bastard? She actually felt safe in his arms. Like nothing could penetrate that commander’s hold on her and get to her to bring her harm. She was fucking stupid. Hadn’t she learned that men only want one thing, and possessing a woman, ruining her for any other man, was their intention?
“Damn it to hell!” She slammed her hand down on the steering wheel and looked out at darkness. Thank God for the moon peeking in and out from behind the night clouds, giving her some light to see what was around her. Nothing. Nothing but ranches way in the distance she couldn’t see from the road, and of course the wooded area she knew nothing about and would never explore.
That feeling of danger, vulnerability was creeping its way into her system.
“Don’t panic. Think, relax and think.”
I don’t even have a damn cell phone? Why? Because Blade doesn’t trust me. Blade thought I was after Calvin and his money. Blade thought of me as nothing but some woman out to snag his money, his clients’ money, and mooch off their hard work. Asshole!
The hairs on the back of her neck stood up, and she gripped the wheel tighter as she looked around her. Her eyes focused on the wooded area and a glimpse of a flicker of light. Her heart pounded inside of her chest. Was someone out there? Was someone watching, waiting? Was it Anthony?
That was all it took as her chest tightened. She couldn’t breathe fully. It felt like a hundred pounds of weight was on her chest. She closed her eyes and tried to reassure herself that she was safe. The doors were locked. She wouldn’t move from the car, and someone would come along sometime soon. But it was late. The party was nearly over. Anyone who was in town for the BBQ was long gone or tucked into bed. She wished she was in her own bed. She would cover her head with a pillow, snuggle under the blankets, and cry her eyes out over the turn of events and the realization that Blade cared nothing for her but as a responsibility.
But then she thought of how safe and secure she felt in his arms.
“I wish he was here,” she whispered as the tears began to flow. She closed her eyes and saw Antony’s face. She jerked back against the seat and tightened her eyes, willing his image away. This was going to be a doozy, and there was no way of preventing it. Not in this situation. Not being alone, stranded like this with no hope of Arabella or someone coming to help her.
She began to rock back and forth, trying to infuse the strength into her weak body and fight the anxiety attack now turning into a full-fledged panic attack. She should get out of the car. No, someone might grab her. Anthony could be out there right now watching her. “Oh God, no. No,” she cried out as her body shook and she gasped for air and sobbed uncontrollably. She was all alone. Completely alone and no one was coming.
Soldiers of Pearl 2: Healing Souls (Siren Publishing LoveXtreme Forever) Page 12
