Jenny and Cynthia, Merlin’s daughters.
I Remember Merlin
by Cynthia Stone Davis
From my earliest recollections, she sang. The songs that I remember the most were “Summertime,” “Que Sera Sera” (Whatever Will Be, Will Be), and “Tura Lura Lura” (that’s an Irish lullaby), but there were many others. She didn’t have an incredible voice, but I loved it when she sang.
She sewed. She used to make matching dresses for my sister, herself, and me. My favorite one was the black velvet dress with the red rose application, but it was the mini-dress with the big bell sleeves (the one she called “the Merlin dress”) that won her the nickname “Merlin.”
She was born into the Jewish religion, though I don’t think either of her parents were very religious. She raised us as atheists. We did, however, have a number of Christmas trees and an attempt at a Passover dinner, which ended abruptly because one of our Egyptian girlfriends was attending, and she felt uncomfortable with the prayer book text. Despite the lack of organized religion, Merlin raised us with many values that I cherish and have tried to pass on to my children.
We had a big brown book when I was a kid called The Epic of Man. It was filled with photos and descriptions of all sorts of primitive cultures. I loved it so much that she gave it to me years later. I guess her interest in ethnological studies had already been there in the early sixties.
Merlin with Jenny and Cynthia, circa 1959.
Merlin inserted the word “Woman” on the cover of this Time Life Ancient History Book.
Merlin’s painting of Jenny and Cynthia (acrylic).
My strongest memories of Merlin are as an artist. She painted when we were very little. People might remember Merlin as a writer, but I can’t forget the wonderful moments spent as a child playing with the various materials she had lying around her workshop while watching her weld these huge metal sculptures. It’s amazing looking back now on all the commissions she received. As I pored through her boxes of old clippings, I found so many articles and letters praising her unique artistic talents and personal style. I just saw her as my mom working away at what she enjoyed doing.
Later, when we moved to Oakland, California, when I was about twelve, she constructed an enormous sort of “womb” in the garage. It was made out of canvas, fiberglass, and fur. She called it an “environment,” and one could enter and sit inside it. She left it all behind when we moved, but then, she wasn’t very attached to things.
I remember when we moved from Buffalo, New York, to California. The Bay Area in the late sixties was rather magical. Merlin, who had always had to fight for what she believed in, suddenly found a town full of people who shared similar values, although she was always too intellectual to be a real hippie.
Cynthia and Merlin in California, circa 1971.
When I was seventeen, I decided to go to England with a girlfriend. We weren’t sure how long we would stay or what we would do there. Merlin surprised me by saying that she would come along too, but that she wouldn’t stay with us. So in 1972, the three of us flew off to London. I had no idea at the time that she wanted to do research about Goddess worship, though I do remember her spending a lot of time at the British Library and traveling to different Middle Eastern countries. Anyway, the rest is history.
Cynthia and Merlin in London, 1974.
I moved to Paris in 1984. Neither of us traveled very often, so our weekly calls were a great joy to me. We would discuss politics, literature, ideas, and how the kids were getting along. When she became ill and found it harder and harder to speak, I suffered from the lack of feedback. Then, when she couldn’t speak at all, I knew it was the end of something very special that we had shared.
Grandma Merlin in Paris with Cynthia’s children, Oliver and Juliette, 1989.
It wasn’t always easy being Merlin’s daughter. When I was younger, I often wished that she were a bit more traditional like other mothers. I guess she was “too busy being free,” as the song says. These recollections would not be complete without mentioning Merlin’s encounter with Lenny Schneir in Florida in 1976. They were so different and yet made for each other, real soulmates. He always supported her in her work and was so proud of all her accomplishments. He taught all the grandchildren how to play pool and poker. He took care of her right till the end.
[contents]
a gallery of
merlin stone
photos and artifacts
Merlin’s birth certificate. Note the motto: “Remember thy Creator in the days of thy youth.”
Merlin’s earliest photo. Brooklyn, 1931.
Merlin, 1933.
Merlin, circa 1939.
Sister Myrna; Merlin; Aunt Alice; Merlin’s mother, Anne;
Grandma Betty Marcus; and Uncle Abe, circa 1946.
Erasmus Hall High School, senior photo, 1949.
Merlin at home before her senior prom, 1949.
Merlin with Jenny, 1953.
Merlin in Buffalo, New York, 1960.
Merlin in San Francisco, California, 1978.
Merlin, 1969.
Merlin in Miami Beach, 1969.
Merlin and her younger sister, Myrna, 1975, on the occasion of their parents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary.
British Library card, used while researching When God Was a Woman.
Lenny and Merlin in Milady’s Restaurant, Prince and Thompson streets, New York City, 1991.
Merlin at home in New York City, 1995.
[contents]
a great sense of hope:
letters to merlin stone
One of the hundreds of letters received by Merlin, thanking her for her work on behalf of women.
San Francisco, CA 94115, November 7, 1995
Dear Ms. Stone,
Thank you so much for writing When God Was a Woman. It’s one of those rare and wonderful books that permanently alters the way you see the world. It left me with a great sense of hope: If we created a Goddess-centered world once, surely we can create one again! Years after reading it, I find myself still quoting facts from it in conversations, and I’ve recommended it more times that I can count. I was also fascinated by Ancient Mirrors of Womanhood.
Cremorne NSW 2090, Australia, June 25, 1992
Dear Ms. Stone,
I am 42 years old and have just discovered the Goddess. I watched a television programme on one of our public networks here in Australia 12 months ago which very briefly talked about the Goddess and which mentioned Robert Graves’ book “The White Goddess.” I am a great admirer of Robert Graves’ work and was, to put it mildly, blown away by his book. Even though it is a very scholarly study of ancient myths and poetry and a little bit above my head in many places, it gave me so much information that my quest to learn more truly began.
After visiting various bookshops here in Sydney without any luck, I went to my local library and the only book they had available was your book The Paradise Papers. Having never been personally involved in political activities within the feminist movement which may have allowed me to discover all of this much sooner, your book opened my eyes to such a great extent that I cannot thank you enough for affording me the opportunity to discover the truth. I must say that my initial reaction was one of seething anger to put it mildly. One of my closest friends is a young and intelligent 25-year-old lady, who has become most concerned at the reaction to my discovery and feels that I am beginning to sound like a “man hater.”
This could not be further from the truth. I’m angry at the system that our patriarchal society has created rather than against men themselves. What really concerns me is that younger women, such as my friend, have no idea of feminist principles or any interest in participation in women’s rights as regarded by society. In general these days some even being in the movement is an indication that “she must be a lesbian.” I watched a programme
recently where many young women were asked if they were feminists and they all replied in a negative fashion because they didn’t want it to be seen that they could be lesbians. A frightening concept indeed.
Recently, I finally found a bookshop with many books about the Goddess. I purchased “The Goddess Re-awakening” and there you were again. I felt immediately that I had to thank you personally for passing on your knowledge to me and for putting me on track. It has greatly increased my understanding of my decision (made before I discovered the Goddess) to get out of this depressing rat race and buy some land in the country where I intend to live a life as self-sufficient as I can make it and get back to nature as they say. Needless to say, I am saving madly. My family and friends all believe I’ve gone crazy this time.
After reading the “Paradise Papers,” I typed out and framed one of the prayers to the Goddess mentioned in your book as I found it to be very beautiful and it now sits in a place of honour in my living room. When I am finally living in the country (hopefully in about three years time), I intend to make a shrine to the Goddess in the most beautiful place available to me. I am also a little sad that, having visited so many of the archaeological sites mentioned in your book, at the time I had no idea of their significance.
Once again, thank you so much for the knowledge you have passed on to me through your writings and I will continue, in my own way, to hopefully, make more people aware (particularly women) of the truth.
Best regards.
Barrington, MA, September 17, 1981
Dear Merlin,
I want to tell you how much I appreciate your book Ancient Mirrors of Womanhood.
I am a feminist poet, actively seeking new images of women and a continuity between our past and present. I have never gained so much pride and inspiration from a book as I did from yours. I must have made a hundred of those little connections that are the seeds of poetry.
I am especially interested in the concept of the triple nature of women in myths—for example the Greek Fates and Graeae. I wonder if you could possibly give me the names of other triple women and perhaps tell me where I could find more information on each group.
Thank you very much. Yours,
Early intimations of changes in the clergy.
Correos, Deya, Mallorca, May 15, 1976
[Sent to a director of Virago Press, the first publisher of Merlin’s book.]
Re: The Paradise Papers
Beryl, Robert Graves’ wife, lent me this book because it has bearing on work I’m doing on mythology. Graves himself is now too old to concentrate on any work, and the book has come into my hands. I don’t mean to speak for Graves, nor has anyone asked me to; but I feel I must comment on it, and I think he would agree in general with what I will say. …
I’ve always thought that The White Goddess was inspired, like E. G. Davis’ The First Sex; and it struck me that Merlin Stone’s book has the same quality; so does her journeying in search of evidence. The amateurism—in the best sense—of The Paradise Papers, seen in the lack of typical scholarly hallmarks of over-professionalism and hesitancy of speech, bespeaks of one who was led into unfamiliar ways by forces beyond her control. This doesn’t compel me to agree with it all, any more than I do with Graves’ work, but the importance of the book, especially at this point in history, is clear to me. The advance in religion and the status of women go together surely. Besides, it is quite difficult, if not impossible, to find an equivalent to Stone’s book, at least in print.
Stone’s book helps me, not because it has a theme I don’t support already, and could not have sketched from my own reading, but because it collects and evaluates the evidence supporting this theme in a way which is clear, conscientious, unanswerable (so far as I know), educative, and prophetic. I envy the author her travels and her access to references. The job needed doing badly and she certainly didn’t fall down on it. Further, it is good to see women taking over areas of scholarship where their insights and morality greatly exceed men’s, and where something more than angry disputes about how to pronounce the letter ‘c’ in Latin is due to be said if the world is ever to make sense again.
Graves might have nodded ‘suitably grave assent’ to the Paradise Papers, and added that his Hebrew Myths and Adam’s Rib have direct bearing on the Adam-and-Eve contrivance that forms the cornerstone of Protestant Christianity and the degradation of women in societies dominated by varieties of Judaism.
If a whiff of my own anger at the position forced upon women over the last 3 or 4 millennia comes off in this letter, it is because that anger has a good deal to do with the form my own work has been taking over the last 4 or 5 years. I hope the book does very well.
Yours sincerely.
0266 Oslo 2, Norway, February 14, 1992
Dear Merlin Stone,
When I was a teenager, your book, When God Was a Woman, aroused my interest in history, a subject which until then I had loathed wholeheartedly as I felt it had nothing to do with me as a woman. It also gave me a deep sense of gratification to be able to refute arguments which until then had been the word of God, so to speak and therefore conclusive.
For me, this issue was very important because I was brought up in a rather strange and confusing environment. I was born in Iran from Armenian/English parents. My mother, as a reaction to her strict Catholic upbringing, brought me up as a complete atheist. My father died when I was very young. So, I was cared for by my mother, my grandmother and my four aunts. Thus, I was surrounded by able, strong and vital females at home, while at school, and in society I was taught that women were really an afterthought in the cosmic structure.
These conflicting informations were very frustrating and isolated me completely because I chose to believe more in my own experience than what others told me. And my experience being subjective and limited was not good enough an argument. Therefore, when I discovered your book it was like being able to speak after having been mute all my life.
Oakland, CA 94610, January 22, 1987
Dear Ms. Stone,
I cannot easily describe to you what Ancient Mirrors of Womanhood means to me. When I was twelve, in my 7th year at a Fundamentalist Protestant day school, I learned that we were not to study the gods and Goddesses of Ancient Greece because they were pagan, and we studied the one true God. I can remember accepting this at the time—there was no other acceptable outward behavior—but I can remember registering a deep question and curiosity about the idea of Goddesses. It was the first I’d heard of such a thing. That year, my routinely “straight A” report card was marred by a “C” in “Bible.” I had begun a rebellion that was to last more than fifteen years. Today I am thirty two and my emotion and wonder about the Goddess is no longer a rebellion against a solely male-principled way of anthropomorphizing the Greatest Force. Instead it is a sweet and challenging practice.
Weehawken, NJ 07087, October 5, 1978
Dear Merlin,
When God Was a Woman blew my mind. I first got interested in the subject when Monique Wittig’s Les Guérillères was translated into English. I wanted to review it for Ms. Magazine, but my friend there said it was too radical for their readership. That book made me realize that without the mythic or spiritual dimension, something would be forever missing from consciousness-raising. I’ve always had difficulty affiliating totally with one group or another. Your book clarified for me why I could never bring myself to practice Judaism, the “faith of my fathers.” This “clarification” felt like a punch in the stomach. I sat for a day immobilized with rage. I realized that I had, on some level, always known what you were saying, but had never wanted to face all the implications of it (i.e., the rejection of my heritage) until you forced me to look. Some of that anger has passed; I feel now more compassion for my foremothers and concern that the lies not be passed along to the next generation.
New York, NY 10023, June 12, 1980
Dear Ms.
Stone,
I am both fascinated and moved by your book When God Was a Woman which I am starting to read all over again to catch up on all the details which the emotion of reading made me overlook.
I was fascinated because you seem to have been motivated to do your research by the very questions, intuitions, inexplicable feelings, which have pushed me to keep reading more and more material on the subject of the place of women in all societies.
Brentwood, NY, February 9, 1980
Dear Merlin,
I have just started Ancient Mirrors of Womanhood—Volume I. I love it already. Your point about the definition of myth and theology is well taken. I had never thought of that and yet it is so clear. I also read When God Was a Woman twice and loved it. It is especially important in these books of woman-loving and woman-strength that there is no man-hating. I just came out a couple of years ago and felt much relief to let go of so much hate. (Hating half the world takes up a lot of energy!)
Do you ever give lectures or make appearances? I would love to hear you speak and know of several others who would want to hear you. How do I find out if such an occurrence will be taking place?
Merlin Stone Remembered Page 25
