by Zane Morrow
“Jack. My full name is Jackson, but my mom calls me Jack.” He stared up at me sadly.
I held out a hand and we shook. “Nice to meet you, Jack. I’m Blake. What brings you out here to my rock?” I chuckled and clapped him on the back as I settled in beside him again.
He gave me the side-eye and looked away as he used his t-shirt to dry his eyes. “I just need a place to sit and think and relax sometimes.” Jack blew out a breath and I could tell he was struggling with his emotions.
“That’s why I’m here. I have to share a cabin with this guy I’ve hated probably since I was your age. Hey, how old are you?” I leaned back on my elbows and glanced at him.
“I’m twelve.” He buried his head in the hole of his shirt.
“Practically a man.” I nodded. “So what’s keeping you up at night? Weight of the world on your shoulders?” I was half joking, which is why his response wrecked me.
“Yeah. My dad died in Afghanistan.” I heard him choke back a sob. “Before he left, he told me to take care of my mom and little brother. Now he died and I miss him and I don’t know how to do this without him. I’m not ready to be the man of the house.” Jack sniffled loudly and swiped at his eyes.
“Oh, man. I understand the pressure. I also knows dads.” I grasped for something useful. What I knew of my father wouldn’t exactly help here. “See, they love their families. They want them happy and safe. I bet when he wanted you to take care of your mom and brother, he really meant he wanted to you to love them hard, to hold onto each other. You know?” I could see the flow of tears had slowed since he wasn’t swiping at his eyes with the same frequency as before. “You’re only twelve, man. He didn’t expect you to quit school, get a job, and support them financially.”
This time, Jack sat up and turned towards me. “You think so? Because I spend a lot of time worrying about money and mom. She cries all the time at night when she thinks we’re asleep. I hear her on the phone trying to figure out how to pay bills. What if we lose the house? What if something happens to mom?”
I feared he was about to start sobbing. This was entirely too much for one kid to handle. “Listen, you let your mother handle the money stuff. You just be sure to give her lots of hugs. Tell her you love her.”
“I’m not to big for that?” He scrunched up his face.
“You’re never too big to let those you love know you care. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness.” I nodded seriously. “Besides, this week is your big chance to be a kid and have fun, to make new friends, experience new things. You can’t do that tired and sad.” I threw an arm around his shoulder. “You know it’s past curfew.”
“Yeah. Shouldn’t you be in bed?” He smirked at me.
I laughed. “I wish. Instead, I’m on duty. Gotta round up the stragglers, even my friends.”
Jack stared out over the water a moment. “So I need to go to bed? Is that what you’re saying?”
“You should try, but I’d love it if you had a chance to meet Grace first. She runs the camp and she’s the most wonderful, loving woman I know. I bet she’d know just the right things to say to help you sleep and feel better.” I grinned, thinking of her.
“You love her, don’t you?” Jack laughed.
“Why would you say that?” My brow furrowed. Did everyone know how I felt about her? Shoot, was I that transparent.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess because when you talk about her, you get the same goofy look on your face that my father used to get on his when he was around my mom.”
I marveled over his insight. “You’re so lucky. You have parents that love each other.”
“Had,” he corrected me.
I shook my head. “No. That kind of love never dies, Jack. You hold onto it. Always.” I blew out a breath. I’d just survived my first encounter with a camper. “So, wanna meet Grace or do you want me to walk you back to your cabin?”
“She’s really nice?” His words were barely more than a whisper.
“The nicest.” I closed my eyes and pictured her. “The prettiest. The best. The very very best.” I stood up and held out my hand. “Come on.”
He took it and together we climbed up the hill and eventually emerged on the worn path. I knew which cabin was hers. I’d scoped it out earlier. Together we made our way up the steps and onto the porch. The lights were on and I saw Grace standing, facing me. Slowly, she backed away and I realized she wasn’t alone. Trent was there and she didn’t look happy about it.
9
Without thinking, I flung open the cabin door and entered, dragging Jack with me. Trent jumped and had the sense to look guilty. I glared at him until he withered and muttered something about having to go. “Wait outside,” I gritted out. “I’ll be right out to speak with you.”
Jack stared up at me wide-eyed. I felt badly about my reaction, but more…I was worried about Grace. She seemed shaken. “Are you okay?” I crossed the wooden floor to stand in front of her. Without thinking, I pulled her into my arms for a hug.
“Camper,” she grumbled against my chest.
I laughed, feeling better now that I’d touched her. “I almost forgot. Jack, you’ll understand one day.” I winked at the tween. “So this is Grace.”
“Who was that?” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder toward the door.
“That…is the guy I was telling you about.” I sighed. “Now focus. Grace. Remember?”
“The girl you love? The one you said was the best in the world? Yeah. I remember.” He smiled shyly.
Grace glanced back and forth between us, her cheeks pink. “So what brings you here after curfew?”
I threw an arm around her shoulder. “I met Jack. He’s having a rough time of it lately, and I told him you’re a really great listener. You might know how to help him.”
“Is that so?” She smiled at him. “Come on, let’s talk while I walk you back to your cabin. I think best when I’m moving around. How about you?”
“I like walking.” The kid nodded at me. “Are you coming, Blake?”
I shook my head. “I’ll give you two time to chat. Don’t worry. You’ll see me plenty while you’re here.” I laid a hand on his shoulder and looked over his head to Grace. “Talk to you later?”
She nodded. Then we all exited her cabin. I could see Trent hadn’t stuck around. I suppose it was too much to hope that he’d gone back to our place to pack and leave in order to escape dealing with me. Just to be safe, I decided to check. To my disgust, I found him casually lounging on his bunk.
“Thanks for waiting.” I scowled.
He chuckled. “Well, I figured if we had something to talk about, we should do it in private.”
“Did you?” I glowered at him. “It’s not going to be much of a discussion. Ready? Here goes.” I blew out a breath. “Stay away from Grace.” I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to appear calm. Mostly I wanted to punch him, but I’d try the more sophisticated approach first before going ape shit on him.
“I thought you didn’t want her,” he sneered.
I groaned. “Of course, I want her. I’m falling hard for her. I just didn’t want you complicating things. You always want what I have, Trent. Always. It’s like a fucking game to you.” I raked my hand through my hair. “So now you know. Now you stay away.”
Trent sat up and casually dropped down from the bunk. “Is that all?” He shook his head. “In that case…no.”
My brow rose. “What makes you think you have a choice?”
“What makes you think you can tell me what to do, brother?” He snickered.
I crossed the distance between us in two giant strides and watched his eyes bulge. Grabbing the front of his shirt, I put him up against the wall. “You’re not my brother.”
At first he spluttered, but quickly recovered. “Our father said I am.”
“I don’t care what he said. He’s a selfish bastard. He lied to everyone all the time. Why should I believe this is a case where he suddenly told the truth?” My
cheeks were hot with rage. “And you! If you wanted to be my brother, if you wanted my love, why did you do nothing but trigger my hatred with your actions? Even now! You only want Grace because I love her. Admit it,” I growled.
“I love watching you squirm. I love upsetting you. This is how I get your attention.” His chin jutted out in defiance. “I learned long ago I’d never gain your love or trust. Hurting you makes me feel better.”
I released his shirt and watched him slide down the wall some. “What are you…five? Grow the fuck up. Be a man.” I shook my head at him.
“I am a man,” he roared. “Look at me! I built a successful company from nothing.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’d hardly call the education my father paid for ‘nothing.’ Was the inheritance ‘nothing’ also?”
“You’re mad about the money, right?” Trent grinned. “You’re mad you had to share? You’re mad he loved me more?”
“None of that matters,” I scoffed. “He lied. He made me lie for him to hold our family together. He hurt everyone. And you…the way you act…you’re just like him.”
Trent laughed coldly. “And you? You’re cold, detached, just like your mother.”
His words struck a chord. I was like my mother. What if all these years she’d known? What if she acted like she did towards us because of my father? What if his affair wasn’t the effect of her behavior, but the cause of hers?
I couldn’t breathe. My lungs refused to fill with air. I needed time, space to sort through this. I needed to be able to reason this out, think this through based on everything I knew. Without saying another word to Trent, I rushed from the cabin. I barely noticed Grace standing there, but when I did, I discovered she had tears streaming down her face. “I…I can’t.” I turned away from her, and raced down the path.
Though she’d said nothing, I could hear feet behind me. I refused to look. I couldn’t face her. How much had she heard? What would she say? I dove off the path, into the woods as I’d done earlier. This time, I was racing blindly toward my boulder. All those summers in camp, it had been my rock. Now even more so as I struggled to find something solid to hold onto. Then I tripped on some roots and landed on top of it, catching myself, but injuring my hands and knees.
By the time Grace joined me, I’d plucked most of the sand out of my scrapes. Still, I ignored her as I tried to control my breathing. The indescribable ache in my chest hurt more than anything.
“Blake,” she whispered as she knelt beside me and ran her fingers through my hair. When I didn’t respond, she pressed her head against mine and kissed my cheek. “Talk to me.”
“I can’t,” I croaked. My throat felt so constricted I could barely speak.
“Try,” she murmured against my skin. “Rumor has it, I’m a really good listener. Maybe the best even.”
I knew what she was doing, trying to soothe me, tease me with my words. It was actually working. I wanted to hold her or be held by her. At the moment, I wasn’t particular. “It’s a secret.” I reached out and wrapped my arms around her, drawing her closer, letting her touch soothe me.
In response, Grace kissed my temple and squeezed me tightly. “Is it a secret or a burden?” Her words washed over me, spreading light to the darkest places in my mind.
“It’s a burden.” My eyes stung, but I refused to cry. Men don’t cry. I blew out a breath. “How much did you hear, Grace?”
“Let’s just say I think I understand you a little better now.” She hugged me close, only this time I pushed her back.
I stared into her eyes. “I don’t want pity, Grace.”
She frowned. “I didn’t say pity. I said understanding. So much makes sense now.” She bit her lip. “Your father was really good to me at a time when I needed it, but clearly…he was terrible to you. I can’t change that, and my apology fixes nothing, but I want you to know I get the issues you have with him. You’re not wrong.”
Her words fractured something in me. This burden I’ve been carrying around for so many years suddenly seemed to disappear. “I found out by accident. The very first summer here. I walked in on him with the old director. Did you know her?”
Grace scrunched up her face. “Hope, right?” Then she giggled. “Oh, she had the same name as the camp. Funny.”
“Well, it makes sense. He named it after her.” I shook my head and then held it in my hands.
“Oh.” She sat hard on her bottom. “No wonder you hate this place.”
“Yeah. Then I spent summer after summer watching him give Trent preferential treatment, probably out of guilt. Only that’s not how Trent read it. In his mind, he was the favored son.” I sighed. “He rubbed my face in it every time he had the chance. Understand why I loathe him too?”
She nodded, a sad look on her face. “I heard how he spoke to you. I had no idea. I’m sorry I doubted you.”
I lifted her chin and met her gaze. “Terrible as he is, Trent was right about one thing.” I swallowed hard. “I’m cold and detached.”
Shaking her head vehemently, Grace blurted out, “Not with me. Never with me.”
Without thinking, I leaned in and captured her lips, letting the warmth flow through me. I needed to feel them against mine, I longed to connect with someone, not just anyone, but always her. When I finally pulled back, neither of us seemed quite as sad. “Never with you. It’s true, but it’s a struggle. Instinct has me pushing everyone away. Know why?”
Grace tilted her head. “Why?”
“If I’m close to people, if we talk and interact, I might blurt out the secret. I might ruin the family, my mother’s memory of my father, everything.” I frowned.
“He died here, didn’t he?” She stared at me sadly.
“Yes, I joke he died doing what he loved. Unfortunately, that was Hope. Apparently, they had been particularly amorous that night, and his heart gave out.” I wrapped my arms around my body while I recalled that terrible night. “Hope came and woke me. She needed me to dress him and move him back to his cabin before she called the police.”
Grace covered her mouth with her hand to hide her shock. “I’m so sorry,” she finally managed to whisper.
“So yeah. I hate it here. And I’m not so fond of Trent. And I have no relationship with my mother or Brett because they don’t know and it was my job to protect them.” I inhaled deeply. “Worst of all, I worry about losing you. I don’t know how to be the man you deserve, but damn if I don’t want to try.” I cupped her cheek with my hand. “Please, Grace, let me try.”
10
Grace fell into my arms. “I’d like that so much.” She buried her face in my neck and I relished the feeling of her short puffs of breath against my skin.
“Why do I feel like nothing bad could ever happen to me as long as I have you?” I laid my chin on the top of her head.
“Because nothing will. I promise. We can handle anything life throws at us, together.” She nodded and sounded so certain, I wanted to believe her.
We sat huddled together in silence for a few minutes. I could’ve stayed like that all night, but my butt started going numb and I wanted more than anything to make love to her. “So what now?” I hoped my words would spur her to action.
“Now we problem solve. To do this, we need your mother and Brett on board.” She reached up and wrapped an arm around the back of my neck. “They need to know you aren’t the cold-hearted bastard you’ve let everyone believe you are.”
I shook my head. “I can’t, Grace.”
“Stop protecting your father,” she growled. “He’s dead. And he sure did make a mess of things while he was alive. You want everything to stay a mess, or are you going to let us handle this together?”
I froze. “These are my options? I don’t want to drag you into this.”
“Too late.” She shrugged. “I’m in. I’m all in. Plus, you had your whole life to fix this. You need me. Admit it, Morgan.”
I rubbed my forehead. She made a valid point. “We’ll face it together, I guess.
”
She grinned. “Together, I know.”
Still, I had more worrisome thoughts in mind. “What about tonight, Grace? What about the next two weeks?”
“What do you mean? We’re running the camp. We’ll figure out what to do with it after summer.” She shrugged.
“Please don’t make me room with Trent.” I stared into her eyes and gave my most pleading look.
“Gah. You’re killing me.” She closed her eyes and blew out a breath. “Okay. Tonight, you stay with me. Tomorrow…we’ll see.”
“We’ll see?” I started tickling her, hoping some good clean torture would change her mind.
“You know I’m not ticklish, right?” Her brow arched.
“Well, that does change things,” I joked.
Slowly, we stood and wandered back up the hill while holding hands. As we reached her porch, our phones chimed in unison. I looked at her curiously before we each pulled ours out to check the text message.
Grace read it first. “Oh my God, Miss Milly isn’t doing well. She needs me.” She started to bolt out of my grasp and rush into her cabin, but I held her hand.
“Wait. I have the same message.” My shoulders sagged. “Come on, Princess. Together, remember?”
Grace nodded. “Poor Miss Milly. Let me tell Mandy what’s going on, then we need to hurry.”
“Okay. Grab your purse. I have my keys and wallet.” I nudged her to action and soon enough we were in my car, driving as quickly as I dared, back to Harper’s Island.
Somehow we managed to catch the last ferry. On this gorgeous starry night, we opted to stand out on the deck. I wrapped my arms around Grace as we leaned against the railing and looked out over the water.
“Do you ever feel like we’ll never escape this place?” Grace sighed.
I tilted my head as I considered her words. “You know, a week ago, I would’ve agreed with you. Now, I feel differently.”
“What changed?”
I watched her biting her cheek, trying to hold back a smile. “You. Obviously, you.” I shrugged. “Miss Milly believes in you, Grace. She thinks you can change Harper’s Island for the better. I believe this too.”
