“Yes, sir, that is correct.”
“From my rides through the countryside I have had the opportunity to travel some of its borders. It seems an admirable estate.”
Surprised to find himself on the receiving end of a compliment, Lucas genially replied, “Thank you. I am quite proud of it.”
“The holdings seem extensive for the area; do you find it difficult to manage?”
“Yes… I mean no.” Seeing that Darcy’s compliment was actually aimed at a different sentiment, he regained his composure and attempted to reply in an affable tone. “My father is much more involved in how the estate is managed than I have been, so I could not tell you how much trouble is involved in its administration.” He then smiled at Elizabeth and added lightheartedly, “As you well know, it has been my philosophy for quite some time to dwell only on the more enjoyable aspects of life, and I am afraid that the running of an estate will not qualify in that regard.”
Unwilling to relent, Darcy continued, “But you must play some part in overseeing it. I would assume that your father, at his age, would welcome your input and that you would have long ago sought to lessen his burden.”
Surprised at such a rebuke, Lucas replied in a more serious tone, “Actually, no. He has been content to hold the reins himself. But of late, I have come to realize that it is time for me to make some inroads in that direction.”
Acting as if he were discussing the weather or another innocuous topic, Darcy calmly continued on. “Well, I would highly recommend it. My own dear father insisted that I take an active role in our estate at a very young age. I think you will find that while the responsibilities are great, the rewards are proportional. It is only through the experience of learning how to rely on one’s own judgment and decision-making skills that one is truly able to develop a sense of oneself. It is, of course, an acquired taste. Once you become comfortable taking responsibility for all of the aspects of your life, then you can no longer imagine a time when you ceded such authority to another, even a parent. But I have gone on too long about my philosophy. I am sure you have put your time to better use. Did you study at university?”
“Yes, I did.”
“When did you complete your education?”
“A little less than two years ago.”
“And how have you been occupying your time since then?”
Before he could answer, Mrs. Bennet entered and began chattering. While Elizabeth typically dreaded her mother’s interaction with Mr. Darcy, she presently welcomed the diversion, thinking that the situation could hardly get any worse. Her sense of embarrassment and anger at Mr. Darcy’s interrogation of Mr. Lucas had become intolerable, but she was unable to think of a way to divert the conversation to more neutral ground. While her mother began speaking, she attempted to catch Mr. Darcy’s eye, but he was apparently content to avoid her gaze and pay attention to her mother.
“Oh, Mr. Bingley! I was just informed that you had arrived. How wonderful to see you again. I see you have found Jane. Very good.” As her eye moved further up the sofa, her smile faded. “Oh, Mr. Darcy, you are here too. Yes, well. I see.” Looking significantly at Elizabeth and then to Mr. Lucas, she frowned and turned to Jane. “Jane, dear, it is such a beautiful day. I was just saying that I have not seen such fine weather in above a fortnight. I know Lizzy and Mr. Lucas walked in the garden when he arrived, but maybe you would like to take your company there for a stroll now too?”
Seeing the opportunity to gain a little more privacy, Bingley quickly responded for them both. “Mrs. Bennet, what a lovely idea.” Extending his arm to Jane, he added, “Shall we?”
Smiling gracefully, Jane joined him. Mrs. Bennet then turned her full attention to Mr. Darcy. “Sir, would you not be more comfortable in the fresh air? I am sure Jane and Mr. Bingley would welcome your company.”
“Actually, Mrs. Bennet, I am quite satisfied where I am. You are quite right about the weather, though. I took a walk early this morning, and I cannot remember ever enjoying myself more. But, nonetheless, I am quite content where I am.” Turning to Mr. Bingley, he added, “Charles, would you mind terribly if I remained indoors?”
“No, Darcy, of course not.”
Unable to hide her disapproval, Mrs. Bennet eyed Mr. Darcy intently and curtly replied, “Very well, then. I will order tea.”
After Mrs. Bennet’s departure, the three remaining occupants sat quietly, each attempting to determine what he or she could do to reduce the number of people in the parlor to two. Elizabeth decided on a course of action first. Turning to Mr. Darcy, so that Mr. Lucas could not see her expression, she raised her brow to signify her disapproval and indicated the door with her eyes. “Sir, I know how busy you are. Did you not tell me last night that you had an appointment this morning? I would not want to keep you.”
Ignoring her gestures, Darcy simply smiled back and answered, “No, Miss Bennet, I think you are mistaken. I believe I mentioned that I had an early morning appointment, but I have already attended to it. There are some issues that still need to be addressed in that regard, but at the moment, I am otherwise at leisure.”
After another awkward pause, Mr. Lucas determined to ignore Darcy’s presence. He turned to address Elizabeth, asking, “Miss Bennet, have you heard that Mr. Smythe has become betrothed?”
Relieved to have the subject changed to a seemingly neutral topic, Elizabeth replied easily, “No, I have not. When did that happen, and how is it that our mothers have not been apprised?”
Smiling genially, Lucas leaned toward Elizabeth and said in a conspiratorial tone, “It is actually quite an amusing tale. I will tell it, if you promise to keep the secret.” Looking at Mr. Darcy, he added, “Sir, please forgive us. It is local gossip that I am sure would not interest you as you know none of the participants, but Miss Bennet and I have a long history of speculation in this regard, and I would be remiss if I did not enlighten her about the particulars.”
As Darcy watched Lucas tell Elizabeth about their neighbor, their familiarity with each other became more obvious and his exclusion complete. Each word that Lucas uttered felt like sand grating on the thin thread of his tenuous self-control.
When Lucas finally finished his tale, Elizabeth could not help but laugh at the clever way Lucas had concluded the story. As she did, Darcy cleared his throat. When she turned to him, she saw his brooding expression and withdrawn posture. She could not help but regret her actions. She was angry with him for his presumptuousness in coming and for his high-handed comments to Lucas, but her heart still belonged to him, and she did not want her momentary disappointment in his behavior to make him doubt her regard. Her laughter died in her throat, and her expression softened for the first time since his arrival in the parlor. Smiling at him, she asked, “Mr. Darcy, are there comparably ridiculous characters in Derbyshire, or does Hertfordshire hold a special monopoly on foolishness?”
He looked at her for a long moment, relieved that she had seen fit to include him purposefully in the conversation. He once again realized how much he appreciated her grace in continually forgiving him his impetuous conduct. He then gave her a knowing smile and replied, “I think each county has its own supply of such characters. While I do not know the people involved, I take it the gist of the story simply proves a long-held truth, one to which I heartily subscribe: Love makes people do foolish things. Your neighbors’ actions may seem ridiculous from the outside, but I am sure that the sentiment that underlies their behavior is more in the way of sublime.”
Touched by the force of his emotion, Elizabeth warmly returned his gaze and said, “That is quite a lovely way of looking at it. I think we would all do well to emulate your perspective.”
“Thank you. I cannot claim always to have had such empathy, but of late, I have had some personal experience with both the ridiculous and the sublime.”
As he smiled at her, Lucas took note of her response. Before more could be said, however, Hill entered and informed Elizabeth that her mother needed to see her
immediately.
Once Elizabeth quitted the room, her mother beset her in the hall. “Lizzy, you must get that man to leave, right away! He will spoil everything.”
Unable to resist the temptation, she asked, “Which man is that?”
“Lizzy, there is no time for your foolishness. I am talking about Mr. Darcy, of course. I have no idea why he continues to lurk about, interfering with everything, but it must be stopped. He will put John Lucas off.”
“Maybe, Mother, that is for the best. It may be that Mr. Darcy has come specifically to see me.”
“Lizzy, do not be silly, and even if he was, I will not be fooled again. To think that I almost encouraged him over Mr. Bingley for Jane’s attention. If I did not eventually see through Mr. Darcy’s purpose, it could all have ended in ruin. No, he is simply here to be in the way and nothing more. I think he enjoys vexing us. You must get him to leave so that Mr. Lucas can speak to you alone.”
“Mother, even if I agreed with you, I do not know what I could do to accomplish such a task. I have already tried to no avail.”
“Well, you must simply try harder. Now, go back in there and make sure Mr. Lucas understands where your allegiances lie.”
“As to that, Mother, I think I can promise more success.”
After Elizabeth had left the parlor, Lucas studied Darcy for a moment and then spoke. “Well, Mr. Darcy, we appear to have dwindled from five to just two, and while I believe both of us would prefer that number, I think we each had a different pairing in mind.”
In response, Darcy simply raised his eyebrow, indicating that Lucas should continue.
“I once told you that I often see social exchanges in military terms. Would you like to hear my assessment of this morning’s interactions?”
With his expression blank, Darcy replied, “Very much so.”
“I think I came here this morning expecting to annex a neighboring territory through peaceful negotiation. I assumed that our long-standing mutual interests would bode in favor of an alliance. To my surprise, I now see that I have stumbled, ill prepared, into heavily guarded territory and that my chances of success here are very slim. Would you be willing to confirm my appraisal of how the land lies?”
Darcy looked at Lucas for several minutes and then replied in a thoughtful tone, “I think you are right. You are much more suited to the military than to the role of the elder son.”
As both men continued to warily regard each other, Elizabeth reentered the room. The men stood, and Lucas spoke first. “Miss Bennet, I am afraid I have overstayed my visit. Thank you for your hospitality. As always, I have enjoyed my time with you exceedingly. But I believe we both have other matters that need our attention.”
Elizabeth bowed her adieu. After Lucas’s departure, she turned to face Mr. Darcy in exasperation. “May I ask, sir, what caused his sudden departure? And while we are on the subject, maybe you could also explain your decision to come here, after we had decided against it, and the meaning of your conduct after you arrived.”
“I do not believe we ever decided that I would not come.”
“We specifically discussed it.”
“No, you said that there was no point in my coming because we had not really come to an understanding. Because I then offered for you, the reason for me not coming was removed, and there was no impediment to my visit.”
“Sir, even if I could follow your logic, it is hardly an accurate view of what transpired.”
“Are you saying that I have misinterpreted the facts or that I have misstated them?”
“Does it matter?”
He looked back at her in defiance, but soon thought better of it. She looked so appealing with her eyes animated with emotion. In the end, all he really wanted to do was kiss her again. Couldn’t he somehow get to that point without so much resistance? He could see some of the justice in her criticisms. Why did his pride require him to defend his actions, even when he doubted his own motives for taking them? He thought it ironic how much she had already changed him. After his father’s death, he had never allowed anyone to question his actions. He was now anticipating her reproofs and questioning himself on her behalf.
As she waited for a reply, she watched his face take on a softer expression as he said, “I suppose there are many reasons why I came here this morning, and I am more than willing to explain them all to you, but ultimately, I simply needed to see you again. Given the newness of our understanding, would you deny me the pleasure?”
Elizabeth had braced herself for his response, but she had not counted on such uninhibited honesty. Disarmed, she replied in a more amiable tone, “I suppose, under normal circumstances, I would not. But you must admit that the timing of your visit was quite awkward, and even if I could understand your need to come, I cannot fathom your hostile posture toward Mr. Lucas. You have already secured my regard. Would not the more generous thing have been simply to exhibit a level of civility?”
Her references to his lack of civility awoke in him his old fears, and those doubts translated into a fear of losing her. He gravely replied, “Yes, I suppose you are right. But you must understand… I have truly attempted to take your previous words about my… lack of civility to heart and… I hope you have seen that I have endeavored to gauge my actions accordingly… But I am afraid there are some things that I do not believe are in my control.”
Seeing him struggle with his emotions, she took a step toward him and laid her hand on his arm in support. Surprised by her actions, he looked down at her hand on his arm and felt the kindness of her gesture wash over him. As he looked to her face, he saw her concern for him, and it was a balm to his soul. Without warning, he pulled her to his chest. With his head bowed to the top of hers, he whispered in her hair, “I cannot bear the thought of losing you. I still can hardly grasp that you have accepted me. I know I have many failings, and I want you to understand how seriously I took to heart your reproofs, but I cannot promise something I cannot keep. When another man is seeking your affections, I will never be able to respond with civility.”
As he solemnly searched her face for her reaction, he was surprised to see a mischievous smile come to her lips. “I suppose that is a fault I can live with. Are there others?”
As relief spread over his features, his own smile spread to his eyes. “Oh, yes, far too many to catalogue. But I think it will be wisest for me simply to let you encounter them as they arise. I do not want to scare you away.” As they stood inches apart, staring at each other, both relieved that the tension between them had abated, their smiles suddenly turned serious as they both could feel the heat of their closeness. As he gazed intently at her, he could not resist the temptation of her lips. Their kiss was tenuous at first, but soon intensified as they began to explore each other’s mouths. Just as she was beginning to lose herself in the embrace, she felt him pull away. Resting his forehead on hers while he slowed his breathing, he eventually whispered, “My love, you are so tempting, but I will not make the same mistake I did this morning. Your kisses make me forget all else. One of the reasons I returned is that I realized you never answered my request.”
Smiling and somewhat dazed, she asked, “And what request might that be, sir?”
“I think there was only one that stood out. Have you forgotten it so quickly?” As he waited for his answer, he began to lightly kiss the exposed skin below her ear down to the nape of her neck.
As she attempted to maintain her composure and he continued his exploration of her skin, she replied, “No, I do recall something about marriage being discussed, but you are right, I am not sure how it was resolved. Maybe you should ask again.”
Stopping his ministrations, ever so briefly, he inquired, “Why would I ask again when there is already one proposal outstanding?”
As she grazed her lips over his, he closed his eyes momentarily at the sensation and then attempted to capture her lips. But before he could succeed, she pulled back and said, “Your last proposal was such an improvement over the f
irst, I can only imagine how well you might do now.”
“Madam, I think you overestimate me. At the moment, I can barely maintain a coherent thought, let alone formulate several sentences.”
As he continued to caress her neck, she absentmindedly replied, “Are several sentences required?”
Laughing, he stopped what he was doing and tipped her face toward his so that he could look into her eyes. “Maybe not so many, but I want to hear you say that you will be my wife. If that requires me asking again, I will. Elizabeth, I love you, and I cannot live without you. I want you to be mine in every way. Will you marry me?”
“Fitzwilliam, I am already yours. All I wish is to be your wife and for you to be my husband.”
A look of heartfelt joy spread across his face as he pulled a small box from inside his coat. “I also came back this morning because I wanted to give this to you. It is a ring that my father gave to my mother. The sentiment it expresses mirrors my own heart. I would be honored if you would take it as a sign of my love and devotion.”
The ring was intricately crafted with the finest metals and the words, “Many are the starrs I see but in my eye no starr like thee,” were delicately inscribed within it. As she read them, she exclaimed, “It is lovely. I can hardly comprehend that something so beautiful should be mine.”
“That is exactly how you make me feel, so it is apparently a fitting choice. I know you cannot wear it until I speak with your father, but please keep it with you. Knowing you have it makes me feel connected to you.”
“As you wish. But you had this with you? I thought you were only planning on asking to court me. Why did you bring the ring?”
Looking sheepish, he responded, “I had not decided between the two, and I wanted you to have the ring in either regard.”
Laughing at his response, she added, “You continue to surprise me.”
“As long as it continues to be in a good way, I am content. Elizabeth, I think I should speak to your father now. I may have made it clear to Mr. Lucas where my intentions lie, and I should seek your father’s consent before he hears of it through other channels.”
Mr. Darcy and the Secret of Becoming a Gentleman Page 26
