by Sheryl Lynn
She closed her aching eyes and listened to Daniel speak to her cousin-in-law. His voice soothed her, his smooth-but-animated tenor was like a psychic massage, working some of the kinks from her soul.
Come over here and hold me, she telegraphed silently. I really, really need you to hold me....
Chapter Thirteen
Crappy day. A day that belonged in Janine’s should-have-stayed-in-bed Hall of Fame.
Helmsley had taken charge of Pinky’s stash and peephole. Crime technicians collected the items as evidence. Seeing the techs in action had exhilarated Janine. Everyone wore rubber gloves. They photographed footprints, the shrine, makeshift writing desk and peephole. They bagged each item and tagged it. They dusted the attic for fingerprints. At last, a real break in the case.
And then Helmsley told Janine he doubted if the evidence would point to arson, attempted murder or the vandalism of Daniel’s truck. Which meant even if he proved Brian and Pinky were one and the same, the best-case scenario meant Brian might go to jail for a year for making death threats—if a judge decided that the threatening letters fulfilled the requirements of the antistalking statutes.
Finding the stash and the latest letter had an energizing effect on the colonel. To Janine’s surprise, and suspicion, her father openly recruited Daniel as the resident security expert. The resort would hire security guards for the anniversary party. Wearing tuxes so as to mingle unobtrusively, they’d patrol the lodge. During the party, Mike Downes, J.T. and Daniel would provide security inside the ballroom. The colonel also agreed to lock down the resort. The new policy included instituting Daniel’s security measures. Juan Hernandez spent the day outfitting the attic door with a padlock and changing the locks on the rooms in the east wing. The colonel ordered one-way, emergency doors for the lodge wings.
Her father refused to discuss the changes with Janine. Never openly affectionate in the best of times, he now acted downright cold. Juan grunted in reply to her questions and comments. Chef pretended she didn’t exist. Employees went out of their way to avoid her. Daniel kept calling her ma’am. Guilt and anger mingled in her chest. She passed the day rubbing her breastbone and wondering if she had heart problems.
Frustrated and depressed, she escaped to her room and turned the new dead bolt. The sight of shiny brass deepened her depression. She should quit and leave Elk River. It took no special talent to do her job. Her parents could easily find another manager. She’d disappear, change her name, cut off her hair and get fat. Live in a cheap apartment and work in a coffee shop. No one would miss her.
She filled the bathtub with hot water and herb-scented bubble bath. Knocking on the bedroom door grew increasingly urgent, but she sat in the tub until the water cooled. When she left the tub, wrinkled and still morose, the knocking continued. She wrapped her robe around her damp body and went to the door.
“Go away!”
“It’s Daniel. Are you all right?”
She opened the door. Brow drawn, his mouth thin-lipped in a scowl, he glowered at her. She ignored the fluttering of her stupid heart, passing it off as yet another symptom of an impending cardiac infarction. He’d been so excruciatingly polite today she had no reason to yell at him. She wanted to yell at him—longed to hold him and kiss him.
“I’ve been standing out here for an hour.”
“So I’ll pay you overtime.” She knew why everyone else was mad at her, but hadn’t a clue as to what bothered Daniel. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know.
“I can’t protect you if you keep running off.” He shut the door. The dead bolt clacked. “I’ve never dealt with a stalker exactly like Pinky before. But I know he’s extremely dangerous. He will kill you. Or your father. Or some other poor schmuck who interferes with his fantasy. Do you understand that?”
His lecture rasped her irritated nerves. She picked up a paperback novel and debated throwing it at him. She dropped the book on the desk. Wet tendrils of hair itched her neck. She gathered the stray strands and tucked them into the knot on top of her head.
“I’ve never lost a client. I don’t intend to lose you.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Do you hear me?”
“Leave me alone.”
“I know this is rough on you.”
His gentle voice hurt worse than a physical blow. “You don’t know anything,” she murmured. She shrugged from beneath his hand and faced him. Wanting him so much hurt most of all. His embrace, his silly jokes, that sense of connection she feared she’d never feel again.
Though she fought it, her chin trembled and her eyes watered. She wished he’d leave—she yearned for him to stay.
He cupped her face in both hands, his long fingers protective and gentle. A sound rose from his chest, a plaintive rumble her entire body responded to. He kissed her, closed-mouthed, sweet. She kissed him back and used her tongue in an invitation he immediately accepted. Long and slow, they engaged in a mutual laving, a tender sharing. In his kiss she found a promise that though her life might shatter, he would be there to help her pick up the pieces.
Long after he stopped kissing her, he held her face. She opened her eyes and sighed. She slid her gaze at the bed and lowered her lashes.
Daniel jammed his hands in his pockets. He cleared his throat, then shot her a grin. “Sorry about that.”
She reeled as if his hands had been holding her upright. “That?” she repeated stupidly.
“I’ve got a bad habit of getting too deeply involved with my clients.” He rapped his skull with his knuckles. “Can’t seem to learn professional detachment.”
His words were rushed, choppy; his voice was raw. She got the distinct impression he lied. “There’s something going on between us, Daniel, and it has nothing to do with Pinky. We need to discuss it.”
He shook his head and pulled a face. “Nah, not at all. This is my fault. I got too deep into the boyfriend role.”
The remnants of good feelings from the kiss wisped away, leaving her angry, embarrassed and cold. “You’re lying.”
Color rose on his sculpted cheekbones. He actually blushed!
Now that she’d stopped lying to herself, she acknowledged he was the sexiest, most desirable man she’d ever met. He was a man of deep courage and boundless good humor. An intelligent man, sensitive enough to examine the depths of his own soul. A good man. An exciting man. A man she very much wanted to get to know better. A man with whom she could fall in love: “Why are you lying to me?”
“All right, all right, straight up. I have been lusting after you. The first time I saw you, I wanted to take you to bed.” Hands in pockets, shoulders hunched, he stared at his boots. “I wanted you, so I thought you wanted me, too. That makes me as bad as Pinky.”
Some fine actor, she thought in disgust. He was a lousy liar. “Pardon?”
“You’re a fine woman, but you have your life, I have mine. Never the twain shall meet and all that. You’ve got good old comfy Elliot. I respect your choice and apologize for any disrespect I showed you before.”
Words, words, words—he held her at bay with a barrage of words. Verbal karate. “I broke up with Elliot,” she said coolly.
His eyebrows lifted. “Because of me?”
His guilty tone wounded her. Why should he feel guilty? Because his kisses made her feel alive and cherished? Because she’d found promise in his eyes and joy in his company? “Don’t flatter yourself.”
“A beautiful woman like you. You’ll find another guy.”
Her back muscles stiffened, but no muscle or sinew—not even leaden armor—could protect her from the barb.
In his mind her looks summed up her entire being, and he forgot her character, feelings and thoughts. Love, commitment and loyalty meant nothing to her. Men were toys, one as good as the other. She couldn’t be trusted.
She couldn’t be loved—except from afar by a sociopathic nut.
DANIEL WARILY WATCHED Janine bustle about the room. With her makeup expertly applied and every hair in place, she slipped on a dar
k red woollen blazer over an ivory silk blouse and tailored black trousers. Low-heeled pumps made little noise on the thick carpet. She checked her appearance in a wall-mounted mirror. Her face a neutral mask, she pulled hair from beneath her collar and adjusted the lapels. All night long he had suffered second thoughts—and third and fourth and fifth thoughts along with a hefty dose of regret.
He’d hurt her. He hated himself for it. No matter how much he intellectually justified the rightness of his withdrawal, his heart said otherwise. Breaking up with Elliot proved she was casual about relationships. She’d dumped an invalid husband. What other proof did he need that she wasn’t the woman for him? An affair with her would go nowhere. Hoping for her love made him as foolish as his parents.
She fastened a watch on her wrist. She wore no other jewelry. Her clothing was classic and expensive, but not flashy. The suit didn’t say, “Look at me, I’m sexy and beautiful,” it said, “Take me seriously.” It occurred to him that even if she wore dumpy tweeds, horn-rimmed glasses and skinned her hair into a priggish knot, she’d still be beautiful. She couldn’t help it.
He remembered her holding Jamie McKennon. Daniel had heard cruel comments and witnessed repulsed stares from insensitive boobs who couldn’t see beyond Jamie’s paralysis and garbled speech to recognize his tremendous personality and boundless capacity for love. Janine loved Jamie and accepted him, damage and all.
Unable to stand it, he asked, “Why did you break up with Elliot?”
“None of your business.”
“You need your friends right now. I thought he was your friend.”
“I thought so, too.”
Her hurt came through loud and clear. Urgency rose in him to know the truth. “What happened to your marriage?”
She stilled. Her cool expression turned gelid—her face a carving in pale marble. “Looks like my little sister has been running her mouth again.” She dabbed a pinky at the corner of her lip.
“She said you never talk about Eric.”
“I don’t. So drop it.”
He tried to catch her eye in the mirror’s reflection. She studiously avoided him. “What was wrong with him?”
She heaved a deep sigh and turned around. Arms crossed, her eyes blank, she regarded him. “Nothing. In fact, the two of you have a lot in common. I think you would have liked him.”
He sensed an insult in there somewhere. “Why the divorce?”
She lifted a shoulder. “You’d have to ask him.”
Not the answer he expected, nor could he interpret it. Her chin lifted a notch. Behind the Ice Queen he saw the vulnerable woman who so enchanted him. He curled his hands into fists, battling the urge to touch her.
She huffed a bitter laugh and averted her gaze. Her lower lip trembled for a moment before her mouth curved in a tight smile. “All right, you want the story? We were married for two years, then Eric got hurt. He lost a leg and the vision in one eye. He nearly died. I could help him with his physical injuries, but he lost something inside. I couldn’t help him with that.”
“So you gave up on him?”
“He gave up on me.” Her voice lowered so he had to strain to hear. “As soon as he recovered well enough to leave the hospital, he filed for divorce.”
Daniel squirmed inside.
“He accused me of not being able to cope with a cripple. The fact was, he couldn’t live with himself. He thought I was going to desert him or cheat on him, so he dumped me.”
“Didn’t you fight the divorce?”
“Fight how?” She sniffed loudly and cleared her throat. “He wouldn’t talk to me, he wouldn’t see me. He refused counseling. When I forced confrontations, he either threatened physical violence or refused to speak at all.” She flicked hair off her shoulders and her voice raised. “But he’s a great guy. Just ask my father.”
“Losing a leg. He must have been depressed.”
“If so, he recovered nicely. Three months after he threw me out, he married his physical therapist.”
Daniel scraped his thumbnails over his jeans. Unable to face her, he listened to her soft footsteps as she gathered items off the table. She waited for him to open the door. When he gave her the all clear, she walked down the hallway. He fell into step beside her.
A million questions lodged in his throat. A million and one apologies.
“Do you think Pinky will cause problems at the party?” she asked.
“We’re prepared if he does.” He practiced apologies in his head. All sounded lame. He’d misread and underestimated Janine from the beginning. How could he apologize for that?
“Assuming the party goes off without a hitch,” she said crisply, “then I’d like some recommendations for a permanent security staff. In the meantime, you’ll move into another room. With the new locks and access to the attic cut off, I’m safe alone.”
At her office he opened the door and peeked inside. She flicked on the computer’s power source. She opened a date book and flipped through the pages. “The security guards you’ve hired. Can they remain on the job until I hire a permanent staff?”
“I think so.”
“Good. You’ll leave on Sunday then.” Her fingers flicked over a calculator’s keys. “If you don’t mind, let’s renegotiate our original business deal. The value of a Honeymoon Hideaway package is approximately two thousand dollars. Your time and expertise is worth more than that. I’d prefer dealing with you on a cash basis. How much is your time worth?”
“Don’t do this, Janine.”
“Business is what I do. It’s what I’m good at.”
Her wounded violet eyes ripped at his heart. “I’m sorry, okay?”
“For what?”
“For...everything!”
“Pinky isn’t your fault,” she said. Her coldness jabbed him with icy knives. “Despite the setbacks, your expertise is valuable. I feel confident what you’ve done will eventually lead to an arrest. In any case, my safety and my father’s safety are assured. You’ve done your job.”
He sank onto the sofa and dangled his hands between his knees. Her prickly pride annoyed the hell out of him. His shame made him feel like a burn.
“Well? What’s your time worth?”
“I want the honeymoon.”
“Out of the question. After the party, I don’t expect to ever see you at Elk River again.”
“I’m not your enemy.”
The ice cracked. Raw pain softened her eyes, and her chin trembled. She spun the chair and typed on the computer keyboard. “You aren’t my friend, either.”
“We have a deal. We shook on it.”
“So sue me.”
“All right, tough girl, maybe I will.”
She ignored him. He huffed and noisily shifted on the sofa, crossing his arms and legs. She continued to ignore him. Daniel hated being ignored. He especially hated not knowing what to do. When they left the office for breakfast, she paid him no more attention than she did to her own shadow.
Her parents and sister were already seated at the long dining table. A small television was tuned to the weather channel.
Elise smiled at her eldest daughter. “We have a storm coming in, dear. They’re predicting snow.”
“I’ll make sure Cody gets the sleigh polished up and ready to go,” Janine said. She spoke past her father, her gaze never lighting on his face. “I’ll call Mr. Torskell, too, and see if his pond is frozen enough for a skating party. I can arrange it for Sunday.”
“That would be delightful.” Elise laughed. “Especially for General Greene and his family. They’ve been stationed in Arizona for so long, I imagine they’ve forgotten what winter is like.” She patted her husband’s hand. “Do you remember what fun we had with George and Lucinda over in Germany? George was a wonderful skater.”
“How long has it been since you’ve ice-skated, Mom?” Kara asked.
“Seems like a hundred years. Not since you children were small.” She sighed dreamily. “I am so looking forward to this weekend. It’s
been so long since we’ve seen everybody. This is truly the best present you could have given us, Janine.”
Janine lowered her face and toyed with a spoon in a bowl of oatmeal.
“Forty years.... Seems like only yesterday.” Elise walked her fingers up the colonel’s arm. He continued to watch the television, but he smiled. “Do you know, I almost didn’t marry your father.”
Kara hooted a laugh. “You never told us that!”
The colonel harrumphed.
“I was only twenty, still in college. My parents objected, saying he was too old for me, we didn’t know each other well enough, and I’d hate being a military wife. And,” her voice lowered dramatically, “they wanted me to marry another boy. Steve Wincoop. Your father punched him in the nose because Steve treated me rudely.”
Even Janine joined in the laughter. The colonel’s ears turned red.
“How long did you know each other, ma’am?” Daniel asked.
“Three weeks. Of course, the minute I saw him I knew he was the one. I never had a single doubt.” She lifted his hand and kissed it with a smack. “I would have married him that very day, but it took some time to convince him my parents were wrong. Such an honorable man.”
“Your determination was formidable even then, dear.” He chuckled into his coffee cup.
Elise winked at her daughters. “He never stood a chance against me.”
“Still don’t,” the old man muttered.
Enjoying the banter, Daniel watched the weather reports while he ate. January and February in Colorado, even in the mountains, were generally dry. This winter had been unusual, though, and skiers were ecstatic over deep snow-pack and fresh powder almost every week. Yellow, green, blue and red radar displays showed a slow-moving storm building in the south and moving north. He prayed for enough snow to discourage Pinky from slinking around the resort.
He prayed he came up with a way to apologize to Janine so they could start over. Like her mother had known she’d found her soul mate the first time she met the colonel, Daniel felt the same way about Janine. She was the one, but after his idiocy, convincing her might prove impossible.
